Hidden Baby Chronicles: Five Weeks

Sunday, July 12

Stuck at the Airport and Feeling Very Reflective {aka this might be long and boring}

Tomorrow I am a whopping 5 weeks pregnant. Eek! We've graduated to a little apple seed at this point. Johnny apple seed looks so tiny, doesn't it?


And here is my ultra impressive 5 week belly shot.

Not sure if I'll always write like this as the weeks go by but early on it seems to be quite therapeutic for my crazy self. Who knows if I'll actually post these, make them into a pregnancy album, or just delete them. But I feel a strong need to record my thoughts during this amazing journey.

I've officially known for a whole week now. Geez, what a difference a week makes, considering that now my mind has made room for constant baby thoughts. Like I said before, it's a cocktail of hope/joy/happiness with a splash of fear/anxiety/neurotic notions. And since this will be the only cocktail I'll get for the next 9 plus months I suppose I'll drink up!

I can't say I really FEEL pregnant yet. I'm definitely more tired than usual, requiring frequent fatty naps. Maybe I'm a little more hungry and gassy, plus sometimes I feel a twinge of nausea mixed in there. But I might be making up the nausea since I'm anticipating it so much. Oh, and the cramps. Those are fun. It's like my monthly visitor is preparing to arrive but she hasn't yet. Isn't that mind boggling? Every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see her but no luck. I guess I'm really pregnant, huh?

Surprisingly, I've resisted the urge to overdose on pregnancy tests. Yep, that's right: I've only taken that one positive digital test so far (well, besides the two cheap ones before that, but those don't count). I can totally understand why some girls break the bank on pregnancy tests---I'm sure it would be completely reassuring to see the positive sign over and over again. Especially when I don't really feel pregnant yet.

So there have been a few gigantic changes in my diet since I found out: no coffee, no booze, and no deli turkey. Gah! I would eat a veggie and turkey sandwich every single day of my life before this. I know the jury is out on this one but I figure it's better to be safe than sorry. So I've gotten creative with chicken breast, PB&J, and whatever scrap foods I can throw together for a so-called lunch. Oh, how I miss my expensive deli turkey.

Then there is the coffee, my friends. Remember how I wrote about this months ago, dreading the day I'd have to decide between my glorious black gold and my sense of sanity? Well after reading a butt load of research on the subject, I understand that some docs are okay with one cup each morning. At first I thought I'd continue on my large to-go mug habit every day. But after reading more and more about it, I found that anything more that 200 mg of caffeine could conceivably cause an increased risk of the dreaded 'M' word. Some say that even 100 mg will increase the risk, espeically when consumed in the first trimester. So for 3 days, I cut my big fat mug of coffee down to one measly measured cup of coffee. It was a total tease, just enough to get the taste but then it was gone. By the fourth day I was in St. Louis and decided I could be hard core and stop partaking in even my puny little cup of Joe. I'm 3 days sober from my caffeine addiction and I must say, it feels pretty good. I cannot believe I didn't get a horrendous headache. And really, I haven't had actual cravings except for when I'm so freaking tired I can imagine that coffee would perk me up a bit. It's a small price to pay, really.

It wasn't a whole lot of fun to 'fake drink' at the bridal shower this weekend. I just held a glass of wine, fake sipped it, and then dumped some of it down the bathroom sink. No clue if my friends are onto me yet. If our first ultrasound goes well at 9 weeks I might just tell everyone at 10 or 11 weeks to get it over with. I don't think I can 'fake drink' through Lindsey's entire wedding.

We are going to tell our parents this week and I cannot wait. I am so thankful that we are making a trip down to Jeff City with such great timing, since this is my first trip home since Christmas. I have a feeling both sets of parents will flip out and I bet Mom will cry, if she isn't in too much shock. Fun stuff, I tell you. Fun stuff.