one week postpartum

I'm not going to do this every week, but I think in the beginning it will be interesting to see the changes my body is making during recovery from delivering Truman.

So here's me, exactly one week after popping my son out of my innards:)




And just to remember my pregnant belly, here was my last weekly shot taken right before we left for the hospital at nearly 38 weeks pregnant. It seems like so long ago already!



Isn't it totally insane to see the changes already? Obviously, my tummy is not even close to being back to my pre-pregnancy status but I'm amazed how much it's shrunk already. The first time I touched my stomach after delivery I was totally freaked out. It was, and still is, a bit 'mushy'--for lack of a better word. I mean, my abs are trying to flex in there somewhere but they are totally stretched out. My skin is really soft and wobbly for me and my belly button has sunk back in but just looks odd to me. Every day it gets a little smaller and my boobs get even bigger (more on that later) which makes me feel like I'm sort of getting my shape back. Score for me! And although I spent countless hours worrying about stretch marks I took after my mom and didn't get any of those badges of honor this time around. I know, I know. I'm lucky for that one.

Now that it's all over I feel comfortable sharing how much I gained during pregnancy. On the day that she put me on bedrest due to a sudden increase of 6 pounds in 3 days, my weight registered 43 pounds higher than pre-pregnancy. Now, I know my OB had mentioned that a 40 pound weight gain for me would be more than acceptable since I was on the 'underweight' side before getting knocked up but I didn't think I'd actually hit that goal. But since my 34 week appointment when I was first diagnosed with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension and had a 6 pound weight gain in 2 weeks, I knew I'd probably get there just from fluid retention alone. I'm sure my last 15 pounds or so at the end were all related to PIH and edema which sucks but it's just what happens when your body is holding water.

When I got home from the hospital I weighed myself and had lost 12 pounds already. But that was when I was the most swollen ever and worried I'd never see my ankles again. On Monday, exactly one week postpartum I weighed myself and was shocked to see that now I've lost a total of 21 pounds! Isn't that crazy? My body is shedding the extra fluid now and I know breastfeeding has to help a lot but I never thought it would be coming off THIS fast. Thank the Lord! :) I am anxious to get back to my old body and starting to feel a little more like my old self again, but I know I need to be healthy about it at the same time.

As for the boobs: on Thursday and Friday of last week my milk officially came in. I woke up and looked in the mirror to find that I had porn star boobs complete with hardened cleavage up to my chin and expanding under my armpits. I could barely put my arms down at my side and yelled for Nate to check out the freak show. He was obviously in shock and didn't even know what to say---his wife, with her previous flat chested A cups---was now putting Pam Anderson to shame. Once the milk was in and we got into a good feeding routine they aren't as hard anymore although they are still big. I must say that leaking milk onto my son's face while breastfeeding is one of the strangest sensations about my changing body. I find major comfort in the fact that my body is producing enough nutrition to grow my baby properly and the look of satisfaction on his face after a feeding makes a momma feel pretty darn good about herself. But dude, the boobs are totally out of control.

As far as recovery 'down there', it's getting better each day too. I'm not sure how much of the gritty details you all want to know about so I'll keep it pretty G-rated but some of this stuff might be a little much for anyone squeamish about blood and private parts and bodily fluids:)

I mentioned that I had a second degree tear from delivery and it's slowly becoming more comfortable to sit, stand, and generally move around. But the first few days were not easy. I couldn't find a good position in any chair and every time I stood up I felt like my uterus and colon were falling out. True story. In fact, the first time I got up with the nurses I was afraid that I'd have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits hanging out back there (I don't, no worries) but apparently that is just what it feels like after pushing a 7lb 10 oz person out of there. The gear that they give you for 'personal hygiene' is sort of overwhelming at first but you get used to taking 15 minutes to pee just so you can spray, pat, pad, and cool the area down there. Tucks pads were my best friends as were those giant diaper-like ice pack pads they gave me the first day. Within 24 hours the bleeding got a lot better and it's slowly improving each day since. I can totally use this as a gauge for whether or not I'm doing too much around the house. For instance, when Nate got our BOB on Saturday I was bound and determined to take a short walk around the block with our little family to get fresh air. Let's not mention that my OB told me I was on bestrest for a whole week because of my Pre-E, this lady needed some sunshine! So we literally walked around ONE block and by the end my girlie regions were really sore and I knew I overdid it. Sure enough, my flow increased significantly that night. Whoops! I know it can take up to 6 weeks to fully heal down there and stop bleeding and I think I owe it to my body to seriously take it easy during this recovery time. It's hard to feel like a blob that can't do any physical activity or major chores around the house but on the flip side, it does feel pretty good to be lazy with Truman here. Just sitting and staring at him in between feedings is an accomplishment enough in my book. For now at least, give me some time and I might be going crazy. :)

Mentally I'm doing well, despite raging postpartum hormones. One minute I'm so insanely happy that I could cry and the next I'm sad that it's all passing by so quickly already. I've noticed that when I'm tired, usually in the afternoon and definitely at night, I get more anxious about everything and worry that I'm not doing a good job being Truman's mommy. But after a nice nap or a few hours of solid sleep I usually feel much better overall and go back to that insanely happy state of being. Mommyhood is definitely an amazing, crazy, hectic, and beautiful thing and I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything. It still feels like I'm living in a dream and I don't want to wake up anytime soon. :)