My Cecelia

My dearest Cecelia~

I know there is no way for you to fully understand me when I tell you that I love you with all of my being. I know you aren't quite eight months old and you're just a little bitty baby. But for some reason, tonight after rocking you to sleep, I have an overwhelming need to tell you about my love for you. Sweet girl. Precious daughter of mine.

If you believe nothing else that I tell you, please believe this: you were SO wanted, and you are so cherished. You helped heal my broken heart when you came along. You certainly gave us quite the scare when your life was just starting and I'll never let you live that one down. I realize now that you were proving yourself to be our little fighter. I realize now that you will always be one that keeps us on our toes, brings us to our knees, and makes us want to say, 'That Cecelia---she sure is one-of-a-kind.' Because you are, sweet CC. You are the best little girl I could have imagined having as a daughter. I am serious when I say that sometimes I think my heart might actually burst from the love I have for you. You probably won't understand that feeling until you have a child of your own. But just know that your birthday was one of the happiest days of my entire life, and raising you is one of the most special privileges I've known.

I'm not sure if you are going to be the baby of our family or if you will be our middle child. But as of right now, you are my cuddly, happy, intoxicating, beautiful baby. I try my hardest to soak in these moments when the world seems to stop turning, and all that matters is you. It's not easy to pause the hustle and bustle in this season of life but never question me when I tell you that rocking you to sleep is one of my favorite things ever. Even when my ever-important To Do list is calling.

As I rock you in the dark before bed, your big blue eyes are heavy with sleep. You stare up at me and I wonder what you are thinking. Maybe it's only 'I'm so tired.' Or maybe it's 'Thank you for being my mommy.' I'd like to think that you are pleased to be a part of our little family, no matter how crazy we might seem to you right now. You are such a little firecracker already that I know you are going to fit in just fine with the crew---in fact, you're probably going to be the show stopper of the group. I just can't wait to watch you grow up. But at the same time I want to stop time forever just to drink you in while you are still little. Motherhood is kind of paradoxical like that. And at times it's pure magic, while at others it's pure despair. It's always worth it, though. Always.

I love you more than I know how to express to you, my girl. Thank you for being here with us. Thank you for being you. Even when you are giving us a major run for our money, there is nothing you could ever do that would change my love for you. Ever. I love you unconditionally and forever.

Don't grow up too fast, alright?

xoxo
Mommy