Moms Make it Work: Jennie | A Young, Military, Stay-at-home Mom

Today we have Jennie posting for our Moms Make it Work series, a blog reader who reached out to me and asked to contribute to the series. Jennie is a young mom (22 is young in my book!!) and stays at home with her little boy, Troy. They are a military family as Jennie's husband, Ty, is gone for extended periods of time. I thought that *I* do a decent amount of solo parenting with Nate's longer hours lately, but I've been quickly humbled when considering the amount of time military wives spend without their parenting partners. You can find Jennie on Instagram @jennie_duplessis, and I hope you enjoy her post!



Hi, I'm Jennie, a 22 year old stay at home mom to a two year old boy, Troy and a Marine wife to Ty. Originally from Louisiana, but a transplant to North Carolina and where ever else the Marine Corps takes us. I'd like to thank Julia for letting me contribute how I make it work.

-What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And where are you now?

I don't have much schooling background, just high school. I met my husband in 2008 while we were both life guarding at a water park in Baton Rouge. We never really dated, but I think I always knew he was the one. He joined the Marine Corps in 2009, and we got married in 2010 a week before my high school graduation (my parents were thrilled. Ha). I was accepted into college, but when we decided to get married I decided not to go since I would eventually move from Louisiana to North Carolina. We got married in May and Ty left for his first deployment in July.

We had been trying to get pregnant before he left but it didn't happen, and looking back now I'm glad we didn't get pregnant right away. I was way too stressed out during his deployment as it was. He came back home in February of 2011, and I moved up to North Carolina we started trying for a baby again, and finally got pregnant in July. Then he got orders to deploy again and left that December. He wasn't able to be there for the birth of our son, but he did get to watch over Skype. He came home in July 2012 when Troy was 3 months old. Ty is currently in Okinawa-- he left in October 2013 and will be there until November 2014.


Our wedding 2010



Troys birth 2012


Homecoming 2012

-What are the best parts of your situations? What are the challenges?

The best part of my situation is being with my son all the time, but that can also be a challenge since I'm usually parenting on my own. Another good part is that when Ty is gone for extended amounts of time we go home to visit family so everyone can see Troy. I'm an only child and the oldest grandchild so Troy is the only grandchild/great-grandchild. So when we go home it's really great for me because I get a lot of help with little man, but that has its challenges, too. Ty misses so much. This year will be our 4 year anniversary and we've only spent one together, one Christmas together, and he has missed both of Troy's birthdays.


Ty meeting Troy for the first time

-Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?

 I knew this was the life I was going to have when I married Ty, and I'm okay with that. I did expect him to be home a little more than he has, but he switched his MOS to another job that isn't a combat unit anymore so he might not deploy as often.

-Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?

This is no where near my perfect situation. If I had my way Ty would never deploy he wouldn't miss anything anymore. We would be pregnant with our second child, and it would be rainbows and daisies all the time ;). I know that is completely unreal and I'm ok with that. This is our life right now and probably the next 25 years. I love being a military family and wouldn't trade our lives for anything.

-Tips on how you make your situation work for you:

LOTS of help from my family. I know my situation is way different than a lot of some readers lives so I'm not sure if I have much to give. I try not to go crazy too often. We have a lot of hot wheels that keep Troy occupied for a pretty long time, and he plays by himself amazingly. Right now my mom is my life saver when I get too overwhelmed with him.

-How do you handle mommy guilt?

 I don't handle mommy guilt well at all. Since I'm by myself a lot with Troy I get frustrated often then I get mad at myself for snapping at him. I'm just a giant jar of emotions that I try to keep a lid on, but every now and then I have some wine and cry ;).

-Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying at home is the right choice?

 My advice would be to do whatever you're comfortable with. You don't need it worry about what other people think you should do. Hey if kids make you a little to crazy then don't be ashamed to go back to work if that's the break you need. If you have nerves of steel and want to be with your crazy awesome kids full time that's great too. It's what's going to work best for your family and for YOU.





(Thanks, Jennie! Find the rest of the MMIW series here)