10 weeks | Baby #4 (Hidden Baby Chronicles)

12/11/16 | 10w1d

I guess I should start doing 'real' weekly updates now?

Big things from this past week: at 9w3d I pulled the Doppler from the attic, and within about 5 minutes of trying I heard the beautiful sound of baby's heartbeat. It was a quick 178 bpm, loud and strong, and provided me with lots of relief that I didn't know I needed. I think the time from seeing a heartbeat on the ultrasound until I can feel movement is a little strange/hard to stay positive. I mean, I am feeling pregnant and looking it, too. But until I can feel this baby move (usually around 14 weeks) it is easy to wonder what is going on in there. So anyway, doppler for the win, yet again.

Also, I think my bump is getting out of control. I mean, comparing my midsection to what it looked like just six weeks ago is sort of startling. I realize it will also be startling to think *this* was a 'bump' when I'm sporting a 40 week bump. But still! I'm starting to wonder if I can actually keep this a secret from the kids and work and many of our friends until 12 weeks or beyond. This uterus is like, 'OH YEAH, I KNOW WHAT TO DO, SIT BACK AND WATCH.' It talks to me like that, I swear.



A few days ago, we had our annual neighborhood Christmas crawl, where we go house to house and party. I didn't even bother to fake drink and made a questionable decision to wear a semi-fitted sweater dress instead of something super flowy. My father-in-law walked into our house, ready to watch the kids that night, and said, 'WOAH, you are really showing now!' So that's great. I still didn't change my clothes because I was having a wardrobe crisis and actually felt somewhat cute in the dress. Then at the party, one guy asked Nate if I was pregnant (and he said yes), and one girl straight up asked me and I LIED and said 'no!'. I'm not sure why I lied, but I don't know her that well and didn't feel like dealing. I'm positive a lot of our closer friends suspect because I was drinking water and apparently because of my obvious bump. A lot of our friends and neighbors already know, but several do not---I'm sure they won't be that surprised when word finally spreads.

I've been feeling a little better this week. I will have a great day when I don't even need a nap and don't want to vom at the thought of a vegetable. But the next day will be more of the same nasty stuff when I can't help but pass out midday for 2 hours, I feel sick basically constantly, and food makes me want to hurl but I'm starving. At least that isn't every single day anymore? Oh, and another thing worth mentioning: my boobs are officially getting bigger. Yessssssss, one big positive about pregnancy is that I get to pretend I'm not an A-cup underneath the weight gain and milk production!

I don't know how much I'll go into it on the blog, but tomorrow I'm going in for an interview at my job to be considered for a promotion. I'm not too nervous, mostly excited, and interested to see where this goes. I don't plan on telling them that I'm pregnant until after the interviews and what not, which I hope isn't deceitful....but I don't want it to make a difference in their or my decision. However, I'm realizing that if things aren't settled in the job front by 12 weeks, that will put a damper on my idea to tell the kids and maybe the internet. Because I definitely don't want my job finding out through the grapevine that I'll be going on maternity leave for 3 months next year. I assume that I'll be coming back to work after baby but who knows, it all depends on Nate's small business venture and how well he's doing....and whether or not we start with the house addition before or during my maternity leave. So yeah, a LOT of big things happening in 2017 for us. Nate's job, possibly mine, a new baby, a house addition. It's completely insane to me when I think that really none of these things, except for Nate's job change, were even on the agenda two months ago. This baby is going to be a catalyst for change in our family, and we couldn't be more excited/ready to get the show on the road!

Earlier this week, I was talking to a friend who knows I'm pregnant and said something about having four kids. Right then and there it hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe for the first time since October when we found out I'm expecting. Four kids. I can type it all I want, and say it to myself or to Nate, but I know it hasn't really hit me yet. That day with my friend, it hit me and kind of made my head spin.

We are going to have four children. There's someone else growing in my belly, someone that is going to complete our family, make Porter a big brother (laughable), provide many more stories and laughter and personality in this family. I've said it before and I'll say it again: we are so stinking blessed it's almost hard to accept.

Double digits, baby!