To My Daughter

Dear Cecelia,

Oh, little girl. Where do I begin with you? I wrote your big brother a post recently explaining that I feel pulled to profess my love for each of you. I don't want you to ever question my thoughts on the subject, even though I'm sure you can read between the lines of your 72 posts on this blog. Your dad and I think you are kind of a big deal and you clearly think that about yourself sometimes, too;)

You are turning two years old in a few more weeks and I totally spaced on writing your twenty-three month blog post. This is the first time that's ever happened for me in my four years of writing monthly posts for my two children--sorry, my middle child! So instead of summarizing what you are doing at this age, I will just wait until you turn two for the details of Cecelia. Right now I want to focus on the details of my feelings about you being our daughter.

I wrote another post to you a few months ago which was similar to this one, and have mentioned your feisty personality many times. You are Cecelia and we wouldn't change anything about our sweet girl. I don't think we knew what we were in for when we saw those pink balloons, because we didn't understand what it would be like to raise Cecelia. Not just a daughter, but YOU! You have more spunk, sass, opinions, and emotions tied up in your tiny body than we could have known....along with more compassion, innocence, and a sense of humor that just won't quit. You exhaust me in the best way possible, CC. Sometimes I joke with your daddy that you either hate me or love me, depending on the minute. He always rolls his eyes at me as if to say, 'You know your daughter loves you all of the time.'

I suppose we do have a special bond as 'the girls of the house' and I am absolutely ecstatic to share in more stereotypical girlie memories with you. Our first mani/pedi date, back-to-school shopping, getting your ears pierced, fixing your hair and teaching you to embrace your red curls, figuring out makeup application (together, not my strong suit), talking about boys and best girl friends and how they are both amazing and can be tough, too. I look forward to all of this and more with you, sweet CC. I love having a daughter and I love having you as my girl. And if you want to do none of those girlie activities with me, that's fine, too. I'm totally down to follow your lead with your own personal interests. I secretly hope you are a bit of a tomboy like me but your love for tu-tus makes me think I might have a diva on my hands.

But beyond the typical female experiences, and mother/daughter bonding activities, I look forward to being your role model as your mom. Don't get me wrong, it's a HUGE responsibility and I am nowhere near perfect, something I'm sure you will realize as you mature. It's alright if you don't want to be just like me when you grow up. But I promise to do my best to show you that girls can be assertive with their goals, happy in their own skin, confident in their choices, and humble when they make mistakes. We can be both caring, compassionate and gentle combined with being strong, determined, and level-headed. Just like I told your brother in his letter, I want nothing but the best for you in life. I hope you are content, driven, well-adjusted, and that you truly enjoy life as much as you do right now nearing age two. Because, oh, you sure do love life. Your trusting innocence is another quality that makes me want to cry sometimes. Don't ever change, Cecelia. You inspire me to be a better person and a better mother for you and your brothers. You are simply the best.

When we found out we were expecting your baby brother, I started to worry about you getting lost in the shuffle, stuck in the middle, or that you'd struggle to stand out between your brothers. Very quickly I realized that it's impossible to ignore our Cecelia and you will be the perfect filling to the boy bookends of our family. A CC sandwich with two protective and adoring brothers----yes, I think that will suit you just fine.

So never forget that I love you. Sometimes I can't even form a sentence that properly represents my love for you, so I just keep on writing and rambling in a meager attempt to capture my feelings about my daughter. The bottom line is this: God knew exactly what he was doing when he placed you in our lives, and we are so honored to be your parents.

Even if you hate my guts someday, think I'm the lamest mom ever because of my rules, or that I'm embarrassing when I gush about you to my friends/the internet, I know that someday you will understand the love I have for you as my daughter. After all, I could have never understood how much my own mother loved me until I became a mom myself. For now I will cherish your hugs, your sloppy kisses, and even the licks to my nose when you pretend to be a doggie.

I love you forever, Cecelia. Unconditionally.



xoxo
Mommy