This phrase, with an image of a new plant sprouting from the ground just randomly appeared in front of me. I opened up the baby monitor app on my phone, then before the camera view appeared, a seemingly unrelated quote popped up for about ten seconds. I have no idea where this came from but it stopped me in my tracks. I nervously chuckled and then promptly teared up, resting my forehead on the doorframe.
Everything new is FINE.
This morning I took a positive pregnancy test. My emotions are reeling, my head is spinning and I can't think straight. I could list a million and five thoughts that went through my head since 8am when I took that test. But instead, I'm choosing to simply hold onto the thought that everything new is fine.
I still have to tell Nate the news. We have so many thoughts to work through together. This is freaking insane. Four kids? It feels like I'm dreaming right now, the most surreal moment of my life. If I get a chance to sort through my thoughts I'm sure I'll be back here, typing away.
Until then: it's fine. FINE. Something new. A new baby. Four.
Oh Julia, this post sounds so sad and makes me so sad for four week you! I can't even imagine the emotions that would be going through my head with a surprise pregnancy. All of ours were planned, planned, planned. Not being a part of my plan is NOT something I do well with! We have been contemplating four kids for a long, long time now and your announcement yesterday sparked more contemplation, but always with a plan :) I'm so happy to have read your post yesterday where things were already so much better! Babies and pregnancies are such happy times that I'm glad your emotions were able to work themselves out! Good luck, I'll be following along and cheering for you guys as you ROCK this without a doubt!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Jodi, it was an emotional time! I don't know about 'sad' but just a whirlwind. It gets better, but there might be another negative/worried post or two before then! Very much in a better place now though, no worries. I get the contemplation---and also know that it's not all puppies and rainbows either way. It will be great whichever path you pick and hopefully you do have control over it! ;) Thank you!
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