25 weeks | Baby #4

3/26/17 | 25w1d

Twenty-five weeks seems really far along, doesn't it? I mean, fifteen more weeks until my due date or about 3.5 more months? That's insane, I can hardly believe it.




This week baby is the size of a cauliflower and his kicks keep getting stronger, consistently happening whenever I eat, sit down, or try to fall asleep. I told Nate that 8pm seems to be this kid's most active time and we agreed that seems to be par for the course. I've caught myself wondering what it would be like to have a child that sleeps well, within his first year of life. I cannot imagine and know I shouldn't even get my hopes up to have a 'good sleeper'. 

In that same vein, Porter slept through the night last night for the first time in weeks, perhaps months. Can I get an 'amen'? Sticker charts really work for our children, point taken. Hopefully he keeps this up, mama needs some freaking sleep because I'm tired. My sleep is still fairly light and restless but at least I didn't have to physically get out of bed until 7 am this morning---the glory. 

Completely unrelated to pregnancy but I'm plunking it here anyway: Truman lost not one but BOTH of his top teeth this week, within 24 hours of each other. I'm not sure why these teeth got me, but they did. My biggest boy, weren't you just cutting those teeth yesterday? He looks so different. So big. Hold me.







Let's talk about this comparison for a second. Yes, my hair was crimped. 1988 was a great year. And come on, people who say Truman only looks like Nate!

Back to this pregnancy...

I had my first comment of, 'Oh, you are due in July? That is so SOON. You are going to have your hands full, aren't you?' I mean, don't we already? Our hands were full a long time ago, this will just be a new dimension of 'full'. But of course, our hearts will be even more full than our hands, with more love, more loudness, more memories to be had with our bigger family. I've been feeling overwhelmingly blessed this week and humbled by this baby in my belly. Bear with me here, I feel lots of emotions coming on during this post.




Also, I've noticed a gross, acidic taste in the back of my throat after I eat. I don't know if this is heartburn or reflux or what, but it's pretty annoying. I've never had heartburn before and figured it would be more in my chest--this feels like my food is too acidic, if that makes sense. It doesn't matter what I eat though, everything makes that taste appear. It's not painful but it makes me want to drink water and not eat as much food. Novel concept!

There were several more hours spent in the attic this week, sorting and purging and creating boxes to go to Goodwill. I finally went through my 'keepsake baby boy' boxes and nearly cried when I found that I've saved lots of tiny boy clothes. Anything remotely sentimental, with memories attached from the other boys, were in those boxes. I love hand-me-downs so much (it's the comparison thing, I can't help it) and am so happy that I didn't actually purge everything we own last summer and fall when I couldn't handle our attic anymore. It's looking really great up there! I have three bins of girl clothes that I'm trying to pass down to our friends, but everything else has been donated or stored for safe keeping. The baby has two bins of toys that I'll keep. I think we found a car seat to purchase from a friend. Still looking for a mamaroo. And of course, no nursery to decorate until the fall or winter when our addition is fully finished. 

OH, and the floor plans changed again. We have decided not to mess with the attic because the beams are not the correct size and there will be many structural issues if we push for the walk-up attic becoming a fifth bedroom. (Read: TONS of money). Instead, we have a new plan for adding a fourth master bedroom, master bath, master closet, and a fifth kids' bedroom in our second floor addition. This fifth bedroom will probably be the baby's room and will be the same size as Porter's current nursery. I've wanted five bedrooms since we started this process and to see it all drawn out is so satisfying! Now we just need the structural engineer to make his recommendations and then we sit in front of the board for our suburb and cross our fingers that everything passes. I'm guessing we will break ground in May or June. Really hoping we have a roof on our house when I give birth but we will take it as it comes, I suppose!

I must be highly emotional today, this is the third time I've almost started crying when typing this post. Hormonal pregnant woman alert.

With Porter, we were coming off a horrible round of illness for the family and I had gained 17 pounds so far. This time I'm at about 15 pounds according to my (rarely used) scale. With Cecelia I hit the 20 pound mark at 26 weeks, and with Truman I was at 18 pounds at 25 weeks. I know, NOBODY CARES about my weight gain and when it happens but these things are fascinating to me. I love comparing pregnancies and also my children, as bad as that sounds.

All three times before this we had named our baby by 25 weeks. This time we are down to two names and of course I prefer one while Nate likes the other better. I might just agree with his top pick, since I did choose both names anyway and love that choice also. Or I might keep working on him to fall in love with my top name choice. Or maybe we will just wait until the baby is born to decide but that thought makes me panicky for some reason. (Type A, so different than what we've done before this). 

Now, reading back through my three previous blog posts at 25 weeks, something really sticks out to me. This was me at 25 weeks pregnant with Truman:

That's it... jumping back on the fitness train, and packing on the lbs marks my twenty-fifth week. I really love being pregnant you guys. At least right now, at this point in the process, I'm feeling incredibly happy and blessed and ready to pop out another 3 after this one. But I suppose I should bite my tongue until I experience the glory of labor and delivery, the frenzy of living with a newborn, and lack of sleep. Call me naive but I cannot wait:)

Huh, I guess I AM going to have three more kids after Truman. Who would have thought? 

And then this was me with Porter's pregnancy, and what I said in response to that paragraph from 2010 with T:

Everything and nothing has changed this time around. I still adore being pregnant and frequently want to cry over my love for the process. I still believe I could 'pop out another 3 after this one' in some ways, but in other ways I feel very at peace being finished with this stage of my life. I still get excited thinking about labor and delivery, life with a newborn, and the changes it will all bring. Even now as 'an old pro' I cannot wait, even though I know it will be hard as hell along with being more amazing than I could have imagined back then. I could have never imagined how life would change going from 0-1 kids and it's every bit as special and exciting going from 2-3. Every bit.

Spot on, Julia of 2014....except for the part about being 'finished' with the baby stage in your life. I mentioned this a lot in my weekly posts with Porter, trying to wrap my head around him being our last baby. And I still think going from 3-4 kids will be every bit as special as the other transitions we've had. I have perspective now, age and wisdom, and a boat load of tiny human beings to remind me that time freaking flies. They are not lying when they tell you this, mamas. 

It's better than I could have imagined and it's also so much harder than I thought possible. It's both ends of the spectrum, EXTREMELY amazing and extremely difficult, to be a mother. The good outweighs the bad though, for all of it---pregnancy, labor and delivery, newborn life, a growing child. This has been the most incredible ride of my life and I get a little teary when I think about doing it all over again. Four kids. Holy cow. Thank you, God. 

I can say with certainty that I don't want to pop out three more kids after this, however. Mark my words, this is our last, and I'm soaking it in for all that it's worth. Bring on April and a real spring! Let's do this.