Building My Maternity, Office Wardrobe

When I accepted my promotion at work, I knew I'd need more than two outfits for this new job in the office. Gone are the days when I could wear three pairs of khaki pants with three different polos while treating patients as a Physical Therapist. And thank goodness for that! Realistically, I haven't donned the classic PT outfit of khakis and a polo for many years, but they still a wardrobe staple for many of my kind. It's a culture, I think. :)

To make matters more exciting, not only do I need an office wardrobe but it needs to be a maternity version right now. Maternity clothes are both awesome and awful, if you ask me. It's painful to spend money on items that you know are just temporary, since I much prefer to invest in nicer pieces that will last me 'forever'. Pretty sure that the full panel work pants I just bought will last me a few months, if I'm lucky, and the 'temporary' part of this new wardrobe is just ironic.

I did save most of my maternity clothes from the first three rounds My Bump Life, and even splurged on several newer pieces at the end of Porter's pregnancy. Having those three-year-old items to pull from are key, but some of the seven-year-old stuff from Truman's pregnancy should probably be retired for good. Many of the older clothes from 2009/2010 are for winter months, much of the 212-2014 stuff is for spring and summer....thus the need to plump up my maternity wear yet again, this time with intentions of looking professional in the office.

Let the games begin!

I've been rocking my desk job for three weeks now and I really enjoy my (brief) hours spent as Rehab Supervisor. It's all still new and challenging and exciting, and I'm finding myself prepping lunches and outfits the night before to save time in the morning. For the past three weeks, I've sort of struggled to find the 'right' outfit to wear to work. But it's not because I don't have anything to wear, since I did spend a lot of my Christmas cash on maternity clothes. I struggle because I'm not always sure how to pair the items together, how to accessorize, how to select the right shoe, and how to stay warm in a somewhat chilly building for five hours during our brutal Wisconsin winter. Basically, I just want to wear flats without socks but it's totally unrealistic in February!

I've been wanting to take pictures of my various office outfits to create a catalog of options, a visual for me when I'm selecting what to wear each night. Perhaps it could be helpful for some of you out there who are feeling less than inspired with your office attire. But mostly, I just want feedback on brown versus black boots, and which scarves look better than others. Also, any major NO WAY outfits? Any ultimate favorites?

Outfit 1 | A and B [Bling neckline top]


Top: A Pea in the Pod | Pants: Motherhood | Booties: from my last Stitch Fix, by Steve Madden.

Thoughts: I love the top for the comfortable, flowy fit and for it's bling neckline (Cecelia is obsessed). Excellent material, super stretchy and good length. I like these pants enough, although I do feel a little strange in ankle length pants because 'high waters' are exactly the look I've tried to avoid my whole life, being 5'10". And the black ankle boots are a go-to for the office lately. I think I like the red with the black best, but I've worn both of these outfits in the past three weeks. Not sure what else to pair the gray pants with other than a black top.

Outfit 2 | A and B [favorite polka dots and red pants]


Top: Motherhood, buy two sweaters get third free (!) | Cardigan: Motherhood, same deal | Bottoms: Motherhood | Shoes: Yosi Samra flats that you can't even see here, boo.

Thoughts: Obsessed with this sweater. Wanted to get it in a medium but the last one they had was snagged, so I got the small and am not hyper sensitive to it's length. I think this could work postpartum as well. Because it's short sleeved, I usually wear the cardigan for warmth. I love all Mr. Roger's cardigans, they are a weakness of mine. Bought the red pants to specifically go with this polka dot sweater, not going to lie. And I like I like the ankle length with flats best, but that will have to wait until April-ish so my skin doesn't get frost bite.

Outfit 3 | A and B [bright purple top that I love]

Top: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Long necklace: Loft, circa 2013 | Cardigan: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Pants: A Pea in the Pod, current! | Shoes: Steve Madden/Stitch Fix

Thoughts: I forgot about this purple top but I really love it, it's long and simple and a nice color. The cardigan feels a little dressier and I'm always a fan of a long necklace. Now, the pants? These are my new favorite maternity pants ever. They are expensive and I really hesitated to buy them because of the $88 price tag. They are form fitting and I just know I will grow out of them before the end of this pregnancy. The sales lady assured me 'that will only happen if you gain more than 30 pounds.' Um, duh!!! That's not a problem! But the material is soft as butter, almost like yoga pants but better. There are pockets and rivets, they are long, full panel, and seriously so comfy I had to get them. And I wear them twice a week or so, because you better believe I will get my money's worth now before my butt gets too big! Then I'll cry because I will miss them, seriously.

Outfit 4 | A and B [Stitch Fix tops that still work]

Cardigan: last Stitch Fix, Skies are Blue | Gray leggings: Old Navy (not maternity, still love) | Tank: Target, probably Liz Lange Maternity, circa 2012 | Brown riding boots: Corso Como from Zappos, 2011 | Scarf: Stitch Fix, Octavia

Thoughts: I love cardigans, long tanks, long necklaces, and/or scarves. I also try to wear my brown tall boots more often because I feel like it's so easy to wear all black pants and shoes in the office. It's like bucking the trend wearing something other than black! I think I like the scarf better than the long necklace option here, just to add more color. I know leggings aren't always the most professional option for an office job, but these are SO comfy, are really thick, and as long as my butt is covered I think it's okay. Also with a tall boot, I don't think you can even see much of the leggings to feel offended, but since they aren't maternity I probably won't be wearing them much longer anyway.


Outfit 5: A and B [Gray, so much gray in my closet]

Top: Stitch Fix, Market and Spruce | Scarf: Christmas gift from Lois, not sure store | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black riding boots: Corso Como again, circa 2011, can't find online anymore

Thoughts: I really love this top, even non-maternity, and think it's nice for the office. I will probably wear a cardigan over it (I did this later in the shoot) for warmth, and the scarf helps with that, too. Kind of nice that I can wear so many of my Stitch Fix tops while pregnant, at least for now! It's a little plain without the scarf and without a cardigan but it's nice enough. Could also do a necklace and I am also a fan of brown shoes with a gray top...just not always with black pants (my brown boots and booties aren't the right shade to wear with black pants, IMO).


Outfit 6 | A and B [Favorite tunic-slash-dress]

Tunic: Motherhood, circa 2011 | Leggings: Old Navy | Scarf: Stitch Fix | Boots (both a brown and black in first photo): Corso Como, circa 2011

Thoughts: Do you like the black or brown boots better with the gray leggings? Once I add the navy scarf, it needs to be brown boots, right? Love this tunic, but why is everything I own 3/4 sleeves and therefore a little chilly in the office?? This is one of my favorite colors of all times, the purple-pink shade frequents my closet.

Outfit 7 | A and B [ Bright colors, so many scarves ]

Top: Aspire at REI, circa 2015 | Scarves: no idea, super old | Pants: Pea in the pod | Booties: Stitch Fix, Steve Madden

Thoughts: This is one of my favorite tops, I've had it for awhile and it's definitely not maternity. I just like the color and the drape, and it was one of my go-to choices for working with patients, too. I think wearing a scarf and booties make the outfit a little dressier, perhaps. Which scarf is better? I have so many freaking scarves...


Outfit 8 | A and B [Old dress, some color in the scarf, pushing for brown shoes]

Gray dress: Motherhood, circa 2010 | Scarf: Target, circa 2013 | Gray leggings: Mossimo at Target, circa 2012 | Brown booties: Chinese Laundry, no longer online, circa 2015 | Brown tall boots: Corso Como, 2011

Thoughts: So booties or riding boots? This was the only time I pulled my brown cuffed ankle boots for these photos but I do like to wear them to work, since they are comfortable and a little different. It's a shame I didn't try them on more often for you because I do want to know which outfits will look nice with the brown shorties. Is there too much gray with the leggings and dress? I just tried to make brown work here but maybe black leggings and boots make more sense. I do like my scarf for color and because without it, the dress feels depressing to me. I do want to wear more dresses to work, my boss only wears dresses or skirts. I think dresses are pretty maternity friendly, not so much skirts.

Outfit 9 | A and B [previous favorite maternity dress]

Dress: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Cardigan: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Leggings: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Booties: Stitch Fix, Steve Madden

Thoughts: This has been one of my favorite striped dresses, although I'm not feeling super cute in it this time around. Something about the neckline makes me feel a little wider than I like (or maybe it's the horizontal stripes), but it's still a cute dress and I'll for sure wear it. I'll pair it with the cardigan for now, maybe even with tall boots instead of booties? Would a colored cardigan look strange? I NEED COLOR!

Outfit 10 [Oldest dress tries to make a comeback]

Dress: Motherhood, circa 2009 (!) | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand | Leggings: Motherhood, 2014 | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011

Thoughts: I want to like this dress, but the tight turtle neck kills me. I mean, it seems very old school to me, because I know that it's eight years old. But it is pretty modest and office appropriate, I guess. Thoughts? Long necklace makes it more modern? Can you tell I'm suffocating in the turtle neck? Why can't it be a cowl neck instead? I turned to the side to prove I really am pregnant;)

Outfit 11 | A, B, and C [A favorite top three ways]

Striped top: Motherhood, 2014 | Pink cardigan: Loft, 2013 | Blue cardigan: Stitch Fix, 41Hawthorn | Leggings: Motherhood, circa 2014 | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011 | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand

Thoughts: I forgot how much I like this striped top, even though I can't find the black belt thing that ties around the waist. It's a nice length and flattering, but feels like I need to add a cardigan or something. Preferred color? Long necklace, or no?

Outfits 12 and 13 | [Different Stitch Fix tops, all similar]

Blue Shirt: Stitch Fix, Market and Spruce | Maroon shirt: Stitch Fix, 41 Hawthorn | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011

Thoughts: I haven't worn either of these tops lately but I think they will work nicely in the office! Stitch Fix really nailed my style with several 'button tab' sleeved shirts, huh?

Outfits 14 and 15 | [More Stitch Fix tops/sweaters]

Poncho sweater: Stitch Fix, RD Style | Striped cardigan sweater: Stitch Fix, Mystree | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011 | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand

Thoughts: I've worn the poncho to work once, and am wearing the striped sweater tomorrow, I've decided. I always get a lot of compliments on the striped one and it's pretty cozy but still put together enough with tall boots, I think.

Outfits 16 and 17 | [Older Motherhood tops, sleeveless editions]

Sleeveless tops: Both Motherhood or Pea in the Pod from 2014 | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011

Thoughts: I don't think I can do these sleeveless tops much. I've always loved the green one but it's really short once my belly gets bigger. The purple one used to be my favorite but for some reason it's really tight in my arm pits and therefore impossible. Options in a pinch, I guess.

Outfits 18 and 19 | [Seriously, so much gray in my closet]

Gray cowl neck: Pink Blush | Scarf: Itsy Ritzy | Blue cardigan: Stitch Fix, 41 Hawthorn | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black riding boots: Corso Como, 2011 | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand

Thoughts: My sister--in-law got me the gray top from Pink Blush and it's seriously the most comfortable material! I wear it a lot, just haven't donned it in the office yet. Then I was playing around with that other gray top by Stitch Fix, trying to dress it up with a cardigan and scarf. This type of outfit could be my wardrobe staple, really.

Outfits 20 and 21 | [I love royal blue]

Striped top: Liz Lange Maternity, 2014 | Solid top: I.N.C. at Macy's, 2013 | Pants: favorite ones from Pea in the Pod | Black booties: from my last Stitch Fix, by Steve Madden | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand

Thoughts: I forgot how much I love the striped top because of it's length. And then there's the solid top, one that isn't maternity but I've worn it a TON over the years. I almost went back and bought it in other colors and I always wish I would have done just that---the cut is really nice and of course, the length! It has pockets and for now I'm sure I could wear it (or both tops, really) with a cardigan. Wouldn't a black blazer look nice? I want one, it's on my 'must find' list but I think I need to try them on, lest I look too formal and not trendy enough. Where might one find the perfect blazer for the office? Not too stiff or suit-like, maybe cotton?

Outfit 22 | [Too casual?]


Gray tee shirt top: Amazon | Sweater vest: Lands End | Necklace: Stitch Fix, Romolo brand | Leggings: Old Navy | Boots: Corso Como

Thoughts: I want to love this sweater vest and want to make it work. My mom got it for me for Christmas and it's very much my style. I'm struggling to pair it with the correct top and bottom though. I think that maybe I need a navy blue shirt to wear under it, then I can go with these gray leggings? Black doesn't work. I don't have a white shirt. Is it too casual for the office? It's warm and cute! Maybe best for my days at home, though.

Summary: I think I need a blazer or two. Any top favorites? Any suggestions for accessorizing/shoes? Do I need more than a pair of black and brown tall boots and booties? Office maternity wear, here I come.

Life Lately

Tonight I brought out the big camera for an ordinary evening outside after dinner. I realized when I wrote Porter's 14 month post that I haven't used my real camera much lately and wanted to change that. And in the name of getting the blogging mojo back, I'll use this as an excuse to post lots of pictures from tonight right here, instead of worrying about which one to put on IG.

Last night, or super early this morning, I woke up in a cold sweat with a not right, not right at all stomach. I have not puked in years but this morning I tallied the feat twice and it was every bit as horrifying as I remember. Nate stayed home from work this morning without me even asking because I was certainly not in any condition to parent the kids. He was a huge help and took Cecelia and Porter to the oil change I had scheduled for the van, and then to a playground. By the time he did go into work around 12:30, I was feeling more human and also hopeful that the littles would give me gigantic naps as a gift. That part didn't happen but it was still a nice and uneventful afternoon/evening. Really really hoping the kids and Nate don't get whatever this was and also very thankful it seems to be short lived.

Ticking time bombs? I hate the paranoia that comes with just waiting for one of them to get sick. So far so good, come on kids' immune systems!






So much else I wanted to mention on the old blog, but all of the things I had listed in my phone are already outdated from weeks ago. But there was this one night when I had this conversation with Truman and it must be documented:

T: "Mom, when CC and I came out of your belly, how did we get out of there? Out of your mouth?"

Me: "Um, no, not out of my mouth. Out of...somewhere else." (After further persistent questioning from Truman). "Out of...my privates." (Cringe, cringe, cringe, OMG, why is this so weird to talk about!!??)

T: (wide eyed, stunned). "Oh." And he rolled over and went to sleep.

We've talked about labor and birth before, last time the important debate was whether or not it was painful for THE BABY to come out of the mommy's belly. This time the conversation really took a turn for the graphic, I'm afraid.

(pink cowboy boots--her find at a consignment shop, hasn't taken them off since!)


(Did I mention that he ditched a training wheels a few weeks ago? It was surprisingly emotional for me, he is just so big!)


(revived an old toy for this guy, too)


Another night awhile ago, after a particularly rough day with Cecelia, I was eager to get the bedtime routine completed so I could properly collapse onto the couch and reflect about how difficult it is to be a great mom to my daughter. Luckily, our emotional/challenging/disaster days are few and far between lately, thank goodness. But they still happen and I still worry that I'm doing it all wrong with my girl. Anyway, after one of those days, I was tucking Cecelia in and we were talking a bit about the favorite parts of our day. I asked her what she liked the most from the day, trying my hardest to get her to focus on the positives, expecting she would certainly say 'going to the swings.' But instead she looked right at me and said, 'playing with my mommy.' I'm not even sure what we had done that day to qualify as 'playing' but it struck me right in the heart, to ease up on myself and realize I'm just doing my best with Cecelia. And that I was meant to be her mom and I AM mom enough for her, no matter how much she makes me question my abilities. I mean, I was the best part of her entire day and I think she knew I needed to hear that as a confidence booster!! She is really something, I love her with the same intensity that I fear her ;)



Then there was my 'best day ever' at work, which was a Friday and a short day in that I only saw three patients in the morning. One of my patients that day also had been working with me for about 12 visits, which was a decent length of time for us. She started off so weak and afraid of trying to get better. Then this day, she was able to walk down her front stoop, out to her sidewalk, down another step and into her garage without a ramp and without her wheelchair. It was huge and made me feel like all of the hard work and all of the preparations we had done before this day were worth it.

The other notable patient of that morning also reminded me why I love my job so much. I had been seeing this one for nearly four months which is abnormally long for my time with patients, and she's always been a favorite of mine. We had been working so hard to get this patient stronger, walking again, and specifically we were working on preparing her for her front porch stairs so that she could leave her house safely. Without a wheelchair, without her family pushing her---she wanted to be independent again. On my very last day with this patient, we did those six front porch stairs as three of her family members came over to watch and cheer her on. It was awesome, it was rewarding, it was a ton of fun to see my patient so successful in our goals. She's always been a favorite of mine so after we did the stairs she said, 'Okay, now we have cake to celebrate.' She and her family had bought the most delicious, gigantic, over the top double chocolate cake (with genache filling and buttercream frosting) for us to share. She literally said, 'You are having a big slice with me right now, so how do you like your coffee?' We had a slice of the cake, a cup of coffee, and we all chatted a bit about life and all of the non-therapy things possible. It was just a highlight of my work year for me to see her kick butt with her progress in PT and also to have such an amazing gesture of cake and coffee. She made me take half of the cake home with me and my family did not mind at all;)



I enjoy a lot of my patients and especially when they actually get better and meet their goals, but both of these ladies really went above and beyond for EXCELLENT visits. Also, I can't stop thinking about that chocolate cake. Mmmmmmm.

And now for a series of Porter Standing Pictures. It's all so exciting.


Classic P face.


New fave.


Oh hey, where are you going, baby boy? And why do you always have to trash your outfits beyond belief, so that many of your pictures are with you in a diaper only?


We've been adjusting to having Truman in Kindergarten, and he loves it so much that the adjustment hasn't been too jarring. We've been having fun, we've been tired, we've been busy (I dislike that word so much, though), and we've been adjusting to life with these growing kids.



Kids are fun, man.


Someday he'll be a school kid, too. Sigh.


Still my baby for now.

Moms Make it Work: Piper | Full Time Working Mom in Austin

Today on the Moms Make it Work series is Piper, a long-time reader of this blog who wanted to share her perspective as a working mom. This was one of those posts whereI found myself nodding my head and saying 'yep' in response to many of her paragraphs. I want to post a few of her sayings all around my house, such as 'loosen the noose' that we tend to place around our own necks with super-high/impossible standards. And I love her sentiment that sure, we can do it all....but just not all at once. Yes. Exactly, Piper. Loved this post and hope you do, too. Enjoy!

thanks so much to julia for inviting me to participate in this series! i've been reading julia's blog since shortly after truman was born :). like lots of ladies, i've grappled with all this mommy stuff since before i even got pregnant, so it's been really cathartic to read everyone's different takes and try to articulate my own, for whatever that's worth. i'm a mostly-regular blogger at thefamilybrowne.blogspot.com and can be found sporadically instagramming @piper6 and of course on pinterest @piperleah. also, i don't like using capital letters when i write for fun, so i hope that's not too distracting :).

-What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And where are you now?

i grew up in south louisiana and headed east (and north) to DC for college. i got my undergrad in communications (concentration in film) and literature, so of course i didn't have a job out of school. i graduated in 2003 during the first "recession", so instead of moving to new york as i originally planned, i threw my mattress and clothes into the back of my old ford explorer and headed west (and south). i knew i wanted to be closer to family, but not necessarily in the deep south again, so i rolled into austin and it stuck! from a career perspective, in the 11 years since i've been here, i've been a waitress, a telesales gal, a teacher, an account executive, and (mostly) a marketer. during my sales days at a certain tech/fruit company, i went to business school at the university of texas and graduated with my MBA in 2010. since the decision to go to graduate school in 2007, i've been on the pretty straight-and-narrow "business" path, and austin has a great tech job community, so i've been a "technology marketer" for the better part of a decade (and for lack of better descriptive words around what i actually do everyday...). 

from a personal perspective, i met my husband justin in 2005 while i was still teaching. he had moved to austin that day because it was "the best city in the country for singles", and we were both acting as wingmen for some friends (who are now happily married to different people). he proposed in early 2007 and we got hitched officially in october of 2007, a month after i started business school. 

i got pregnant unexpectedly and had a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy in july of 2009, which bumped up my desire to have a child to much sooner than my original "master life plan". we were planning to wait until after i finished the MBA regardless, but lo and behold i got knocked up again in february of 2010. i finished finals the same day as my first trimester ended and gave birth to an amazing baby girl, emme kay, in early november. emme was a total sucker baby - so easy and fun and verbal and a great eater/sleeper to boot - so we decided to try it all over again. i gave birth to our baby boy hollis taylor in early january of 2013. we've lived in three different houses in this town, but our current domicile in central austin is where we'll (hopefully) be for a while...

-What are the best parts of your situations? What are the challenges?

as with everything, there's good and bad in it all, and i can evaluate a "feature" of my life as a benefit or a detraction on any given day. ha. in general, i like that i am an equal contributor to our income and that my kids (especially my daughter) see that i am ambitious from a career perspective. i like the feeling of being in control, and knowing that i am a strong income-earner really helps with that. i like that our dual-income affords us the opportunity to put money away for the kids' school, to go on vacations, to eat dinner out when we're too tired to get in the kitchen, to live in the expensive city we live in. i love that justin and i are truly in the trenches together - we can relate to each other's struggles and successes because our days are fairly similar in that office-job kind of way. 

but, of course, there is a lot that is really hard. i think the biggest challenge for me, personally, is never feeling like i'm 100% anything. at work, i think about the kids constantly, worry that i'm not doing enough, being enough for them. i put pressure on myself to make them "feel" like i'm a SAHM - i don't want them to ever think that my career comes before them. but then of course, at home i worry about if i'm working hard enough, progressing fast enough, making an impact in the right ways. also, as much as the equal-contributor-to-household-income thing is a bond, there are some things that justin just doesn't experience the same way i do. the corporate world is tough, and as much as we'd all like to ignore it, it's super tough being a woman in corporate america. i try not to apologize for putting my family first, but i also know it's likely "hindering" my career in some ways because i'm not willing to make certain sacrifices (like number of hours spent in the office). and let's not even get into the challenge of finding "me" time or "couple" time. 

-Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids? i always expected to keep working. when i decided to get my MBA, especially from a "top tier" school, it became pretty much a given that i'd keep my career, at least until i'm done paying off my student loans in 2040. ha. what i did not expect was how much i would adore my children and struggle with not being present every moment of their lives. i didn't expect the guilt, the constant mommy-war onslaught of information and studies and articles. i expected to question my decisions, but to carefully evaluate our choices/path and then to feel confident once that path was chosen. i did not expect for the only constant to be change and to never feel 100% confident about anything. 

-Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is? yes and no. though i'm not 100% confident in all our choices (a fact that has much more to do with my nature than with anything else, i think), i do think we've got an amazing life and a fairly cushy situation. if the world were truly perfect, i would love to work 3-4 days a week, or from 9-3 every day instead of 8-5. i'd love it if family were close by or in the same city, at least for things like days when the kids are sick, but really for the overall support and feeling of community. i'd also really love it if austin weren't considered the most expensive city to raise children in the country, but i don't have any control over that. fundamentally, i think we've got it really really good and i'm incredibly grateful for our lives.

-Do you see yourself making a career change (whatever that means) in the next 5-10 years? Or is this current set up staying put for the long haul? i could definitely see me switching companies or doing something in a different industry, but the overall setup is our long haul plan. although i tell my husband all the time that i'm retiring at 40 :).

-Tips on how you make your situation work for you: i'm not great at this, honestly, but my best tip is one that my mom gives me ALL THE TIME: loosen the noose. as in, the noose you put around your own neck. for me, i have ridiculous standards around everything. i want to be polished and a star performer at work and still have home-cooked, pinterest-worthy meals on the table every night. i want to hand make my kids' halloween costumes but also have floors that are void of dog hair. i want to have recurring, fabulous date nights but also train for a half marathon. i'm working hard to realize that we can do all.the.things but maybe not all.at.once. so, take the pressure off and just try try try to be present and enamored with how fast and overwhelming and beautiful each day is, however trite and difficult that is. 

-How do you handle mommy guilt? truthfully, i martyr myself. so, don't follow my example, because it's not the way to be. i don't do a whole heck of a lot for myself and yet i still feel guilty all the time (see above re: ridiculous pressure on myself). when it overwhelms me, the thing that helps the most is to just stop. i either go for a walk or get in the shower or try to just sit down for a minute and make an objective analysis of my kidlets. are they healthy? happy?  do they feel loved and supported and seem delighted by life and the world and their place in it? the answer is a resounding yes, and that is more important than whether their dinner was shareable on social media. 

-Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying at home is the right choice? i think for a lot of moms, this is not a choice at all. so i think step one is to be so so grateful that this is even a dilemma you can ponder. and then, give yourself time to breathe through it. nothing is permanent and life changes in ways we cannot imagine all the time. when you have your first child, it can be the most enormous thing ever. and each moment feels like that is THE status quo for the rest of eternity. especially when things are tough and/or emotionally draining (like making work/childcare decisions). but the reality is that kids are super resilient and they will form healthy attachments and they will love you and thrive as long as you're loving them. and you can always change your mind - it may be difficult, unpleasant, uncomfortable...but there is always a different choice if you want to make it. 

-How do meals work in your family? Meal planning? How often do you grocery shop? Who is in charge of this task in your family??

we are getting better at this (some weeks). i meal plan every weekend and usually grocery shop and try to prep on sundays. we are super good at feeding the kids healthy, well-rounded meals for the vast majority of what they eat...sadly, not as consistent on the adult front, especially for lunches. i tackle most of the weekday eating endeavors, but my husband absolutely jumps in and preps kid lunches, cleans the kitchen, makes our fancy weekend meals (he's a much better gourmet than i am), etc. we do eat out more than we'd like - almost all weekday adult lunches, and then 1-2 weekend meals. the kids both still nap, so sometimes i can squeeze in groceries while they're sleeping, which is ideal. if not, emme loves going to the grocery store with me, so that can be some fun one-on-one time for us. 

-How do you keep your house clean? Power cleaning after bedtime? Staying out of the house as much as possible? Cleaning while kids are awake? Purging often? Cleaning schedule? oh, the elusive clean house. we have a housekeeper every other week that saves my life. we gave it a go without one for 4-5 months earlier this year (right after we bought and moved into a new home), but it was too much. our house was never all clean at one time, and i felt like i was constantly stressed about when cleaning was going to happen. so, the housekeeper changes sheets (i do all the laundry, but putting sheets on a bed makes me irate. hey, we all have our things...), scrubs toilets/tubs/etc., mops floors, and dusts. but for the most part, we try to just stay on top of it daily as much as possible. since we do have two massive, super sheddy mutts, i vacuum the floors 3-4 days/week. we cloth-diapered both kids, so laundry has been pretty much a constant part of my evenings for the past almost-4 years. we try to engage the kids in the cleaning process to varying degrees of success. we are lucky that it's lovely in austin roughly 9 months of the year (the other three are stupid hot, but even with that the kids don't mind it much), so it's easy to just let them twirl in the yard, go for wagon walks, have sandbox time, etc. but the biggest thing is just trying not to have such rigid definitions of what things have to look like, as long as most members of the family are reasonably happy. 

thanks again, julia, for the opportunity to think about all this stuff, read and write about it. i don't think anything about my situation is earth-shattering, but if it helps anyone to hear someone else's journey, then that's all that matters!

{Thank you, Piper! Find the rest of the MMIW series here}