Spring Cleaning

Or maybe I will call it 'nesting,' but I'm getting the itch to tidy up around here. In our actual house, yes, but also on the old blog!

One thing that was really bugging me on this site? My super old 'My Story' tab at the top left of my header. I basically just kept adding to an original post that I wrote back in 2009 and it was looking way too sloppy for me. And it just didn't tell my story well enough anymore, so you will find a brand new post in it's place!

And because I know clicking links can be annoying, I copied the entire post below for you, too.

Now I'm off to wash more of our couch cushion covers, rearrange more bookshelves, and scrub our floors. Nate just informed me, 'I love when you get random cleaning urges like this.' I doubt it will last, dear husband, but watch out for now!

Also: I turn 33 on Sunday, but Truman keeps asking if I'm 'five-and-a-half or five hundred?' I tell him it depends on the day and how well he's listening to me;)

Happy weekend!
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Hi, I'm Julia Goolia and you are reading my blog. You say you want to learn more about me? Perfect. Let's chat, but first let's get one thing straight: I'm long-winded and show you way too many pictures in a single post. You've been warned.

The Goolias, November 2013:


I'm a small town mid-Missouri girl who moved to The Big City (St. Louis) for college. There I became a sorority girl who also managed to be a psychotic perfectionist, determined to get straight A's and over-achieve her way through Physical Therapy school. I like to be an oxymoron sometimes. Masters Degrees are not always fueled by an equal amount of hours bonging beers and using multi-colored highlighters in the library, but somehow it worked for me! Because really, I've always been a big nerd just pretending to be cool. Always will be, too.

I also met my handsome-fraternity-boy-husband, Nate, at college. He is a nerdy-but-fun person, like me! We started dating when we were mere babes, at age 21---ah, the glory days. We thank the Lord that our college years came well before social media. You are welcome for that one, dear internet/family/offspring/pride.

Once I had successfully nabbed my diamond ring from said Frat Boy, we had one of the best days of our lives at our wedding in 2007. Seriously, it was awesome, if I do say so myself. I'm an ex-Knottie and Nestie, so you may have found me through a haze of lacy wedding gown/red brick pictures floating on the internet. Look familiar?




Nate then convinced me to move to Wisconsin with him so that he could pursue his doctorate in Physical Therapy in his home state. So that meant I got to be the primary breadwinner for our newlywed family for a bit, while Nate kept his head in the books (and not keg-standing this time). I started this blog in 2007 after our big move as a way to stay connected with friends and family back home in Missouri. Little did I know that I'd continue writing here in my beloved corner of the internet for many more years, through many more....transitions;).

First came posts and pictures of our 'first born', a wimpy but adorable Cockapoo named Henry. We ran a lot back then and I'm not even sure what else I blogged about. I'm too afraid to dig through the archives. May the force be with you if you choose to take that route. Note: there are no links in this paragraph;)


Then came my first pregnancy (lots of blogging! belly pics! etc!). Pre-Eclampsia and a marathon induction started my my venture into motherhood, with Truman's birth in March 2010. He was a fat, sweet, fairly easy baby but he never slept much. I don't think I cared since I was so enamored with our new son. We are still pretty much obsessed with Truman, in fact. His sensitivity, cautious soul, and right sided dimple are all too much to bear sometimes. He's our rule-following first born and I've thought 'This is my favorite age YET' with each stage Truman has given us as parents. He is seriously an awesome kid.







Then came a surprise second pregnancy in 2011 that ended in miscarriage discovered at nine weeks, but the baby stopped growing at six weeks. The process that followed this heartbreaking ultrasound was painful, extremely drawn out, and finally resulted in hemorrhaging four weeks after the missed miscarriage diagnosis. Then I switched OBs and received the D&C I needed so badly, seven weeks after we found out we were losing the baby at that first ultrasound. Those seven weeks were the longest, darkest of my life. But somehow we all pulled through and came out with added humility, a sense of patience, and surprising strength on the other side of losing Wren. It absolutely changed me.



A few months later, I got pregnant for the third time and subsequently became a total mental case throughout my pregnancy. I mean, she *did* give us a heart attack with a 'threatened miscarriage' in the first trimester, and we were told this baby probably wouldn't make it when I started bleeding heavily at six weeks. But! We welcomed our little fighter girl, Cecelia, in May 2012 and have thoroughly enjoyed her antics (again, no sleeping as a baby! Never!) ever since. Our little ginger-headed spitfire can light up a room with her smile and she sure knows how to make us laugh, while we wonder what we ever did to deserve this little spunky sass pot. She has more personality in her big blue eyes than I have in my entire body, and I fear for our lives when she is a teenager. She is such an awesome kid (sense a theme here?).







We bought our first house during Cecelia's pregnancy, too, in February 2012. It's a wonderful home built in 1925 but it needed lots of cosmetic updates when we took the keys. Therefore, 2012 is the year known as 'buy a new house, do a ton of DIY renovations, and have a second kid' for us. Good times. I have no idea how I found the energy to paint every square foot of the interior when I was seven months pregnant but decorating and DIY projects have always been my thing. I have a Pinterest problem and am probably a part of the 'Pinterest problem' in social media, too. I can't help it, promise.



Kids rooms: my favorite area to decorate!


Things were settling into a routine after those big transitions. I was down to working just three days per week, Nate was working full time, and the house project list became incredibly small (ie just the super expensive/boring stuff remains). Our two kids were both sleeping fairly well, finally, and things felt balanced. I wanted another baby but wasn't sure I could convince Nate to embrace the chaos of the first year all over again. That sweet concept of 'balance' is a difficult one to willingly relinquish, so why mess with a good thing when you have it?

I weaned Cecelia at sixteen months, began waiting for my first cycle, and a few weeks later in November 2013 I got a shockingly dark positive pregnancy test. Surprise! Apparently we *are* going to have three kids! As I type this I am nearing the end of my fourth pregnancy with baby boy who is due in July 2014. And yes, Nate was a little shocked at this news but he's excited now, too. He swears this is it for us and I believe him this time. Let the games begin again!


What else can I tell you about me?

I secretly love gangsta rap along with techno music, as a result of my mid-MO roots combined with an amazing semester abroad in Madrid, Spain. Sometimes I like to drive my mini-van and pretend to be hard while singing every lyric to Gin and Juice. I know, I'm not sure who I'm fooling, either.

I'm a retired jock (high school basketball and volleyball 'star', depending on whether you talk to my parents about this one or the general public) who still prefers sports bras, yoga pants, and zero makeup to the fancy counter parts of underwire, jeans, and a prettied-up face. A fashion blogger, I am not.

I'm a Type A perfectionist who likes to compartmentalize, plan, and make lists...but who also has a flare for the creative side of things, mostly when it comes to crafting and decorating. I strive to be zen and super laid back as I also balance my first-born, over-achieving neuroses. No small feat, my friends. I am absolutely a hot mess sometimes.

I truly love my job as a part-time Physical Therapist, where I work in the home care setting. I enjoy helping other people, the flexibility and autonomy of my job, using the healthcare part of my brain, and I really really like working just three days per week. It's a great balance for me to switch between a SAHM and working mom throughout the work week. How many times can I use the word 'balance' in one post?

I'm powered by black coffee in the mornings and red wine in the evenings, usually not in reverse order. I am a mom who runs (mother runner?), usually while pushing a massive double jogging stroller. I will partake in the occasional half-marathon for that whole 'setting a goal and achieving it' thing. I've done one full marathon pre-kids and have no desire to train for another anytime soon. Halves are my fave, though. No double strollers allowed.

I love my kids more than I could ever properly capture in words. Maybe that is why I'm so long winded---because I can't ever seem to get the stories just right. And I want to remember all.of.the.stories, momnesia be damned! Truman and Cecelia truly take my breath away in those 'time stopping' moments of parenting, when it all seems too beautiful to be true. They entertain us, make us feel pride like we've never known, and provide for countless blog posts as a mommy blogger;) I also love my cherished 'me time', and the peace and quiet that sleeping children provide. Little kid years are no joke, man, but they are still wonderfully exhausting in the best way possible. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I try not to take myself too seriously because life is short, time flies, and it's a lot of fun if you don't get wrapped up into other people's expectations. Nobody is perfect and none of us really have a clue what we are doing, anyway. Let's enjoy the chaos and find the humor (ie make fun of ourselves) wherever we can!

I'm nothing special since there are about 40 million other mommy-bloggers clogging your internet these days, but I've been blogging for nearly SEVEN years now. Same domain, same blog, same blogger with a little different priorities/new family members. I realize that blogging is sort of 'out' these days but here I am, plugging along in the name of copying and pasting a lot of my posts directly into our family photo albums. I blog for me but I definitely enjoy the connections we make through social media. So I kind of blog for you, too (the pressure!).

So, hi, that's more than you could have ever wanted to know about little old me and my sweet family. I hope you'll stick around to read more of my ramblings!

Truman's Four Year appointment

This post is absolutely all for me, since I'm sure nobody else really cares about the details of a particular well-child appointment. But I must post Truman's four year visit lest I forget someday!

It's crazy to think that Truman used to have well-baby appointments every two months as an infant and now he just goes in yearly. Lucky for our first born, he still has to come along for the ride with his sister and eventually, his baby brother so T will surely get plenty of doctor's office experiences through the years. But still! Time flies. He has been to to the doctor once for an actual sickness in the past year but otherwise this was the first 'Truman' appointment since his three year visit. The big day was on April 15, in case I feel the need to remember the exact date.

The shots came at the very end of the visit, like always, but I will mention them first since they were such a HUGE part of the anticipation with this visit. The doctor had warned us that Truman would get three shots at his four year visit many months ago and ever since then I was sort of dreading it. I totally failed at getting my kids Flu shots this year, since every time we were going to go into the office, one of the two was sick (from about January through March). Nate and I always get our flu shots each year from our jobs but apparently making a separate appointment for the kids just didn't happen this year. Whoops! That probably would have helped Truman's nerves when it came to getting shots this time around.

We watched the Daniel Tiger episode ( end of season 1) about getting shots and we talked this thing to death before the appointment. Truman knows that we get shots to protect us from getting very, very sick. He decided that he would think happy thoughts and close his eyes during the injections, and he knew it would only hurt for a little bit. There were four vaccines rolled into three shots in the thighs: IPV (polio) with DTap, Varicella (chickenpox), and MMR. No more shots until he is 11, thank goodness! He laid down, held my hand, closed his eyes and thought about 'happy thoughts'. Later he told me the three things make him happy: Playing baseball with mommy and daddy outside, playing before bed inside, and sleeping really good until his clock turns yellow. Melt me now. He cried for 1 second, and I held his little hands as the nurses finished up. He wanted wanted to see the bandaids right away and they became the center of the universe for the next day or two (i.e. 'mommy, I want to check on my bandaids to see if they are still there). Then he said, 'That DID hurt a little bit, mommy.' MD was glad we had prepared him and I was so incredibly proud of my sensitive boy for making this visit as painless as possible.

His stats:
Height: 43.3" which is 97% (was 91% a year ago)
Weight: 41 lbs 6.4 oz which is 87% (was 86% in September)
BP: 104/63 (omg, the miniature BP cuff was adorable!)




The nurse did an eye exam with shapes and a hearing exam, where he had to say 'beep' whenever he heard the little probe make a noise. He passed both 'with flying colors' and seemed very proud during both exams.







Things they asked him to do/discussed with me:

-Hopping on each leg, high kicks, squats, duck walking. Did all really well and thought this part was hilarious.

-TV time? (I said about 1.5 hours per day and she said that was fine)

-Diet? (I said it's a big struggle to get the kid to eat anything new, but we have our tried and true favorites and I have very little energy to battle with him on diet. Both the resident and the doctor thought that was a very healthy approach--not to push it, because Truman WILL eat a variety of foods someday. Just not right now. And he is obviously growing well, so as long as I'm not making myself a 'made-to-order chef', making a bunch of things for him in one sitting after he refuses each option, then we are good. For the record, heck no! I make him dinner (usually not the dinner that Nate and I have in front of us) and he has to eat that or he gets nothing else. I wish he ate vegetables aside from potatoes but whatever. I was a picky eater as a kid and so was Nate, and now we both eat grown up things like salads and actually like them!

-Is he riding a bike yet?  (yes)

-Dress self? (yes)

-Sun burns? (no, hard to even imagine this being an issue anytime soon, but he's never had a bad sunburn. He's my child that tans easily like his mama)

I asked about booster seat readiness versus continuing to be in a 5 point harness seat. Apparently he is ready for a booster since he is now four and over forty pounds, plus he is really tall so the seat belt will likely be low enough on his shoulders/chest instead of his neck. I doubt we will put him in a booster just yet since we now have room for 3 seats in the van, but maybe we can put him in a booster in the third row while keeping his siblings together in the second row sooner than later?

The doctor listened to his heart and Truman continues to show a Stills Murmur. He might not grow out of it, or he might, but either way it's not causing him any problems and is fairly common so I'm not supposed to worry about it. The pediatrician had a Stills Murmur as a kid and never outgrew it so there were some jokes made about the doc and Truman 'never growing up.'  Listened to lungs. Checked neck glands. Looked at tonsils--said they were really big. Looked into ears--good but waxy, and into nose. Teeth. Spine. Reflexes at knees and achilles. Poked around on his tummy. Checked his privates--talked about who can look here. Said only mommy and daddy and the doctor can see his privates, and I thought that was both a fantastic and scary conversation that needs to happen at this age.



Talked about social skills (I think Truman excels in this!). Said the 'team concept' really starts to form at this age. Told me to continue asking Truman how he feels about certain things, what he thought about XX. This can help higher level reasoning as he matures.

All of the staff there asked about his baby brother, what we are naming him, and if Truman is going to be a big helper. Asked about school in the fall. Asked about wetting the bed which has pretty much never happened with Truman. The kid has never even worn a pull up in his life--something that I know makes him a rarity in the potty training world. He really just seemed to 'get it' when we potty trained him right before 2.5 years. And we switched to undies 100% of the time and never looked back. I doubt Cecelia will blow us away quite as much when it's her turn, but we will see.



Truman chose to bring both monkey and Teddy Bear---a stuffed animal he actually got from the doctor's office a few years ago. He got a green sucker and a Spiderman sticker afterwards from the nice nurses (Cecelia got her own, too). Then all three of us went to Starbucks! It was an extra special treat to get chocolate milk AND a brownie, since he usually 'only' gets a brownie. .



Baby book update:


CC kept wanting to get on T's table and wanted to show off her own socks, her own belly, etc as the staff asked Truman their questions. She even seemed to want a shot when T got them. Silly girl.

My big boy made me so proud this day! And we've been so lucky/blessed for Truman's health over the years. What a great thing for an annual well-child appointment to be the biggest 'health visit' he knows right now. We definitely don't take that for granted. We are also VERY happy to have medical insurance, as always. Apparently they didn't enter Truman's new insurance card information at the front desk after all (even though I did give it to them and spent time going through it with them, etc). Got the bill for the visit and hello, $750 scare! Ha, um, no. It was a good appointment and all but $750? Wow. Easy fix to give them the insurance information AGAIN on the phone, and preventative visits like this should be covered 100%. Ah, healthcare in the USA. So interesting.

Moms Make it Work: Amy from Missouri

Today Amy is posting for the Moms Make it Work series, and she is (yet another!) one of my 'wedding planning in St. Louis' friends from way back in 2006-2007. I reached out to Amy, just like I did for Lauren and Mary, knowing that she doesn't blog anymore but I still wanted her voice on this series. She works full time as a social worker for children and I know she juggles her roles along with the most put-together mamas, even if Amy thinks she isn't always 'making it work.' Ha! I loved her honesty on this topic and her sweet boys made it even better. Thanks so much, Amy!

 

Hi! I'm Amy, wife to Blake and mom to Brady (4) and Bennett (sigh, he'll be two in June!)  I occasionally blog at Motherhood Imperfected (I REALLY miss blogging!) and have a little Instagram obsession (@amyandblake)

I'm excited that Julia asked me to be a part of this series but I'll be honest, there are some days I'm pretty sure I’m not even close to making it work!  Ha!! I've loved reading each post in this series and I wish it had been around when I was a new mother, navigating through this next step of my life.

What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And now where are you

I'm a MIZZOU alum (Go Tigers!) and graduated with a BA in Human Development and Family Studies. Currently, I work full time as a social worker for children (and some adults too) with developmental disabilities. I have been at my current job almost 7 and a half years and saying that almost hurts, ha!  In 2009, I married Blake and we settled into married life nicely.

 As far as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mom and I can tell you the moment I laid eyes on each of my kids, I knew motherhood was meant for me. Brady was born in October 2009 and and life hasn't slowed down since. Brady had a lovely case of colic/reflux and had what my Dr. called, ‘big personality’ and has rocked that title ever since!

Yes that's Vaseline.

Just so you know, peanut butter is the only thing that took that out of his hair. 

  In June 2012, Bennett was born and is the polar opposite of his brother. When he was five weeks old, we found out he had mild congenital hypothyroidism and he started taking medication for it at 12 weeks. He's a tough cookie for being such a little guy! He's my cuddle-bug and will always make you laugh. 

In February, I joined a health and wellness company and my husband is actually in process of staring his own business which is very scary and exciting at the same time.  I’m sure if I would write this 3 months from now, things may look a very different. Right now, Brady is in preschool three days a week and goes to the sitter where Benny goes the other two days. We leave the house anywhere from 7-730 and get home between 4:30-5:30 depending on my schedule that day. My schedule varies depending on home visits and meetings I have scheduled. Occasionally, I will have to work late but I do that only if I have to and it's rare. 

What are the best parts of your situation? What are the biggest challenges? 

My job is very flexible. I find because of the flexibility I’m not as stressed about missing time for sick days, doctor appointments (we tend to have more due to the thyroid issue) and school events. I've attended every single field trip at Brady’ school and I don’t plan on that changing. I also have capability to work in the field when I need to which helps if I have to pick the kids up for a doctor’s appointment and saves on my drive time.

Challenges? I’m a social worker, enough said right? The biggest struggle I find is leaving work at work. My job is never done, I’m never caught up and it’s constantly stressful. I have to make the conscious decision every day to leave the stress at work. I've done a decent job of it but Spring/Summer is my busiest ‘season’ and it’s when I struggle with it the most. I find that the long drive home, as much as I detest it, it helps me decompress from my stressful day.

 My office is over 30 miles one way and it takes 45 minutes to an hour at the minimum. I also do home visits which can be a plus and a minus as it leaves me driving around a lot! On the days I’m in the office, I’m far away which as I mom, I hate. I always fear something happening and me being so far away.  I’m currently in process of attempting to work from home three days a week so we'll see how that goes!

Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?
 

Heck no!  Motherhood is by far the craziest ride I’ve ever been on and I’m sure every parent will agree! I never had a clear picture on what I would do when we had kids and I think it was because my mom stayed home with us for a while but she also worked when I was older. What shocked me most was how hard it was to balance life as a working mom! Balance amidst chaos, right? 

I went back to work when Brady was nine weeks old and (after all the screaming) I was ready! The transition back to work wasn't easy and while I missed him, it was more about learning to manage this new role in life and that was harder than I ever expected.  I kept thinking I wanted to be a SAHM. One day, it dawned on me that I didn't want to be a SAHM FOR Brady but I wanted it for myself. I felt like it would be easier to concentrate on only one ‘job!’ at a time. I felt like I couldn't give my family 100% and be a good employee. I felt like when I was at work, I was thinking about my kids and vice versa. I can’t say that ever goes away BUT you find ways to balance it.  I think as you grow as a parent, you find more confidence in yourself and that goes a long way. I might be behind on laundry or forget to pack Brady’s lunch but I have also learned to not be so hard on myself because I’m doing the best I can. 

Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?-Do you see yourself making a a career change (whatever that means) in the next 5-10 years, or is this current set up staying put for the long haul?

To be honest, absolutely not. I’m probably in the minority in this series who isn't quite in love with her job but we are working on changing that and it's scary. If his company does well, I plan on quitting to help out where he needs it and continue my side job since it's something I love to do.  Ideally, I'll always work part-time.  In a perfect world once my kid are in school,  I will be able to take my kids to school and pick them up and not have to worry about aftercare. Our family is kind of in transition right now so it’s really hard to say where I’ll be in 5-10 years.

Tips on how you make this work for you?

I kept finding we were running so many errands on the weekends and I was over it. I wanted our weekends back so now I usually get what I need done on my lunch break (on days I actually take one!) If I can’t seem to find time during the week to do that, we run to the store on Friday's for essentials after I pick them up from school/sitter to get it out of the way.

Mornings are really hard for us. We get everything ready the night before. We recently found out that my oldest has a dairy allergy so I have to prep his food now and that add to the mix. What I found that helps most is that we have a rule. No milk, Tv or toys until everyone is dressed. Most days that helps us get out the door on time. 

The house was a mess and my to-do list was insane.  I picked up the kids and it was too nice out to run to the sore so I surprised them with a picnic in the park. Sometimes, I have to put aside what we 'should' do and have more fun! 

Learn to say no and ask for help, even with your husband. I am a control freak and felt like I could do it all. I took on more at work than I could handle. There were times I felt overwhelmed and didn't ask for help. I just assumed my husband knew that I needed help so I've had to learn to communicate better but more importantly, STOP trying to do it all. 

I'm almost embarrassed to say that this has taken me almost 4 year for me to do this. Make time for yourself. After I weaned Benny, I was struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. I was cranky, exhausted and couldn't think straight. I shrugged it off as being a busy mom of two. I had missed a ton of work due to a string of sicknesses and Benny's surgery so I put off going to see a doctor. Later on, I knew something wasn't right.  My insurance required a physical for a discount on our premiums so I made an appointment. Well, guess what? There was something wrong. I had Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, which causes hypothyroidism and I needed medication. I look back and I wasn't enjoying life and feel like I missed months of my life. Needless to say, my heath is just as important as my kids and they need me healthy too. I actually have talked to two other moms this week that have had similar experiences and I know how had it is to put yourself first.

 Lastly, I make time to meet with friends by scheduling it in advance so it's on the calendar and there are no excuses. Most of my friends are moms too and struggled to stay in touch. This works well for us!

How do you handle mommy guilt that comes with each role?

I can’t say I had a lot of it with Brady but after Bennett was born, I struggled a lot. I think I felt like I was already dividing my time between the boys, my husband and now work too? It didn't help that Benny was a very needy baby. I think the medication/thyroid issue played a huge part in that and he cried every.single.day and ALL day. I cried. A LOT. We just chugged through it because as a wise friend of mine says, "This too shall pass'' and it always does. 

 Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying home is the right choice? 

I remember the anticipation. I cried and I didn't think I could do it. I’m not sure if it was because I was leaving both kids or because I took a longer leave but I took it HARD the 2^nd time around. The anticipation is always worse than reality. It takes a while to get into a routine and I feel like once you get that down, it gets easier. Also, don’t let guilt eat you up. Not everyone wants to stay home or has to option and I know that guilt can be powerful . Don’t feel guilty if you don’t want to be a SAHM or if you worked hard for your degree and want to stay home. Only you can make the best choice for your family! 

On the days when there's more meltdowns that I can handle or I'm struggling to get the kids out the door, I just remember, this too shall pass. I also look back at this post I wrote last year and I find that it helps keep things in perspective. 

(Thanks, Amy! Find the entire MMIW series here)