Eleven weeks

Mister T is growing up too fast, you guys. Anyone have advice on how to slow down time a little bit? Or maybe freeze it completely? My last weekly post before I return to work on Friday. Ugh. I have a feeling my blogging time will be taking the back burner for awhile, as if my posts weren't already infrequent enough. Time to juggle being a full-time mommy and Physical Therapist....this should be interesting!

(I have a few 'before' and 'after' shots for you, complete with different hats. He's grown so much since those early weeks and sometimes it takes hats and clothes to make me really see it. Truman has enough hats to last a lifetime and it's sort of symbolic for me to post these as I'm preparing to wear another hat in my life. Get it?)


Truman has had an unpredictable week when it comes to his sleeping habits. I think it all started when our company left and T was all out of sorts and out of his typical routine. For about three nights in a row we totally lost the battle with naps and falling asleep at night. He would only nap for about 10 minutes, twice a day---which is WAY off from his typical pattern. Truman basically kicked our butts big time and one night after trying to put him down for over 2 hours I just carried him into our room, plopped him in our bed, whipped out my boob and let him nurse in sidelying on and off all night. It worked and we slept so I consider that a small victory! But we were doing SO well with him sleeping in the nursery and making it for 5-6 hours in a row that I didn't want to throw in the towel just yet. It took us a few more nights with Truman needing extra time to go down at night, extra soothing if he woke up after laying there for 5 minutes, extra holding my breath as I put him into the crib....but it seems like we are back to our old routine. Plus, he's napping throughout the day again. When he boycotts naps I now know that the night will be hell and thus I am ALL about encouraging little cat naps as soon as he shows signs of tiredness. Yes, the dreaded 'overtired' cycle is vicious and I hope we can avoid that experience for a long time.



My favorite time of day is now when I go and get him at about 6 am from his crib and pull him into bed with us to nurse and play a bit. He is in such a great mood and will just smile and kick around and be so freaking cute that it hurts. Of course I can't stop kissing his fatty cheeks and squeezing his tummy in moments like these and Nate is fairly obnoxious with Truman in the mornings, too. We can't help it! Little dude is too much sometimes. His cradle cap and clogged tear duct seem to be subsiding a bit and I think he's even growing a bit of hair back on the top of his head. I mentioned last time that he is totally obsessed with staring at himself in mirrors and I think the vanity has just increased a few notches this week. When he lays in his activity gym and looks up into the mirror I'm sure he just thinks there is a really cute baby friend staring back at him from the ceiling which is pretty much the most adorable thing ever. Yep, Truman is still a happy content baby most of the time and he's getting more and more interactive each day.







As for the work situation: I haven't talked much about it here but I will now be working four days a week, nine hours each day (7:30 until 5:00). I will have every Wednesday off which is pretty fabulous when I think about working only two days in a row then having a day off. I will still work quite a few weekend dates, specifically seven of them in the next four months, and when I do that I should get another day off during the week to make up for the weekend. I'm pretty excited about my new schedule but I know the nine (or actually, nine and half but we have an unpaid 30 minute lunch at my job) hour days will be really long, especially considering my 30 minute commute each way. But here's the most awesome part about this new phase in our lives: my father-in-law, Tony, decided that he wants to watch Truman two days each week. He still works full time and this option totally came out of the blue, but he was pretty adamant about it all of a sudden saying that he doesn't want Truman to be in daycare when he's this little. In fact, Tony first announced this idea saying that he was just going to completely retire from his job and watch Truman all four days each week. Woah buddy! As amazing as that offer really is for us, I worry that it will be too much for him to handle. After all, caring for a newborn all week is pretty intense and Tony is always on the go, doing random projects and disappearing for hours at a time--I'm not sure he knows how much a baby would ground him at home. So we decided that two days in daycare, two days with grandpa, and then one day with mommy during the week would be the perfect compromise.







It's not totally finalized with Tony's work just yet, so I'm praying it really does work out this way, but he wants to make this happen so I'm sure it will be just fine somehow. Not only will we save boat loads of money avoiding daycare for four days a week but now Truman gets some quality grandpa time which makes me so happy. Did I mention that my in-laws live downstairs from us? So on the days Tony watches Truman all I have to do is hand him the monitor and tell him to get Truman when he wakes up. No packing the diaper bag or tons of bottles---he can just hang out at home! We are blessed, I know. It's amazing how everything works out.





Not only that but Nate is officially done with this semester on Wednesday and doesn't start his clinicals until June 1. That means that this Friday and also all next week, Truman gets to hang out with daddy and I can focus on returning to work without stressing about daycare right away. I think this will help ease me back into work and will make my first day back pretty anti-climatic since I don't have to drop him off with strangers just yet. :) We'll get to test out how many bottles he'll need while Nate is at home with access to my freezer stash if needed which makes me breathe a little easier over that whole situation. I think Nate is excited and just a wee bit nervous about being the main caregiver for a week and I'm sure there will be many hilarious stories to share:)



When I think about going back to work my biggest source of anxiety is figuring out our morning schedule and attempting to continue breastfeeding as a working mom. How am I going to get myself ready in the mornings, feed Truman, get him ready and get out the door in time without losing my mind? And we've done so well with nursing while I'm home and I'm proud of being able to exclusively breastfeed for 11 weeks thus far, but I'm nervous that going back to work will be a huge hurdle in our breastfeeding journey. I've read a lot about pumping at work and my boss is open to me taking breaks during the day to do so, but the logistics of it totally freak me out. Where do I store the milk? Do I make the bottles immediately or at home? What if I can't pump one-for-one what Truman eats each day? Do I have to clean my pump parts every time? And dude, hauling around my giant pump plus a possible cooler plus my lunch plus a diaper bag plus my purse? Overwhelming! I know I'll figure out what works for me but it's still scary how much everything will change around here. Change is hard.

I'm not going to speak too much on the subject right now but know this: I would do almost anything to stay at home with Truman indefinitely. While pregnant, I wasn't sure if I'd love being at home or if I'd yearn to get back into my job with adult interactions and mental stimulation. Turns out I'm head over heels in love with my mommy job and although I went to school for many years to get my Masters and have school loans to prove it, there is nothing more satisfying to me than caring for my baby boy. However, I have a responsibility to my entire family as the sole breadwinner in our household right now. You see, I was the one with the baby fever last summer. I knew that if we had a baby before Nate was finished with school that I would have no choice but to go back to work. After all, if I didn't work we would have NO income and no health insurance which would be incredibly irresponsible on my part. My dream would be to stay home with Truman (and pop out about 3 more kiddos, too) and I firmly believe that stay at home moms are incredibly blessed to have that option. But I signed up for this situation when I wanted kids sooner rather than later. This is our life right now, this is our situation and when Nate decided to go back to school for a career he will love I promised to support him for the good of our whole family. I just tell myself that Truman is going to be surrounded by love while I'm away--from his grandpa and also from great daycare providers. Our evenings, weekends, and Wednesdays are going to be *that* much more special when we are together and I fully intend to make up for my lost cuddle times by smothering the poor boy:)

One year from right now, Nate will be graduating PT school (eeeek!) and perhaps we will have other options for our family at that time (ie Nate can work full time and maybe I can stay at home. Fair trade, right? Tag, you're it!). But until then I really need to focus on sucking it up, putting on my big girl panties, and just dealing with the fact that I cannot be home with him 24/7 anymore. Sulking and crying and being frustrated/sad about it doesn't change anything (but sometimes it does feel good to get it all out of my system before I move on with the day). Without a doubt, being a working mom will be the hardest thing I've ever done and I will need all of your prayers and good vibes to get through each day. I know I'm not alone in this new role and I know Truman will be just fine. But it doesn't mean leaving him will be any easier for me since I have a strong desire to stay at home. Just typing all this out makes me want to go snuggle Truman right now, so I think I will while I can.

Eleven weeks: cuter than ever and prepping for some major changes around here. Sigh.