Here is a new post to let you know:
Keri's scans were clean! Whoo hoo.
Updated post below.
Carry on....
Showing posts with label keri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keri. Show all posts
prayers please
It's been awhile since I posted about Keri, probably because she is doing so fabulous these days. She moved back home to Indiana, found an awesome new job and is kinda/sorta dating a new boy [but just don't call him her 'boyfriend', okay?] But I'm going to ask everyone to pray hard for our girl on Friday.
Keri is back in Kansas for her first full body scan. They are looking to see if the cancer is still gone and although Keri feels very positive that she is still cancer-free, it's obviously rather nerve wracking. As I told her, if she weren't freaking out just a little bit she wouldn't be normal. She has her scan at about 9 am and will get the results later in the day....when I hear from her I will update this post. But until then, pray your faces off!!
Also, March 14 marks exactly one year since she was diagnosed. One whole year, can you believe it? In some ways that seems like yesterday to me and in others it's like a lifetime ago---so much can happen in 365 days, you know?
If you haven't read about her full story, here was the first post I made almost a year ago. I realize my pictures have gotten blurry and disgusting, but Shutterfly must have eaten them. This one sums everything up nicely, too, and the picture still works.
And here are all of her tagged posts.
She keeps a Caring Bridge journal and would love to hear from some of you ladies if you have the time. You can always leave her a little love right here, too.
And just because I'm sneaky I pulled this recent picture off Facebook so you can see how adorable her brunette pixie haircut is. Not to mention her perfectly perky boobies....I'm only slightly jealous:)
So yeah, pray away. I'll update this once I hear that all is well.
__________________________UPDATED at 5:20 Friday night_____________
All is well!!!!
I got a text message that the scans were clean and I also talked to her on the phone. She sounds SUPER relieved. Whew. The prayers worked, thanks you guys!
She'll go back in 4 months and then again 4 months after that....it's so frequent because the cancer was so aggressive. But she says she feels better going in often to check it out instead of having to worry about it for a whole year at a time.
Thank goodness! Now go and enjoy your weekend just like Keri plans to do in her 85 degree Kansas weather. I thought our 55 degrees was heaven sent...but now I'm supremely jealous of her summer climate. I'm afraid to even look at St. Louis' forecast but it can't be over 85 down there, can it? :)
Keri is back in Kansas for her first full body scan. They are looking to see if the cancer is still gone and although Keri feels very positive that she is still cancer-free, it's obviously rather nerve wracking. As I told her, if she weren't freaking out just a little bit she wouldn't be normal. She has her scan at about 9 am and will get the results later in the day....when I hear from her I will update this post. But until then, pray your faces off!!
Also, March 14 marks exactly one year since she was diagnosed. One whole year, can you believe it? In some ways that seems like yesterday to me and in others it's like a lifetime ago---so much can happen in 365 days, you know?
If you haven't read about her full story, here was the first post I made almost a year ago. I realize my pictures have gotten blurry and disgusting, but Shutterfly must have eaten them. This one sums everything up nicely, too, and the picture still works.
And here are all of her tagged posts.
She keeps a Caring Bridge journal and would love to hear from some of you ladies if you have the time. You can always leave her a little love right here, too.
And just because I'm sneaky I pulled this recent picture off Facebook so you can see how adorable her brunette pixie haircut is. Not to mention her perfectly perky boobies....I'm only slightly jealous:)
So yeah, pray away. I'll update this once I hear that all is well.__________________________UPDATED at 5:20 Friday night_____________
All is well!!!!
I got a text message that the scans were clean and I also talked to her on the phone. She sounds SUPER relieved. Whew. The prayers worked, thanks you guys!
She'll go back in 4 months and then again 4 months after that....it's so frequent because the cancer was so aggressive. But she says she feels better going in often to check it out instead of having to worry about it for a whole year at a time.
Thank goodness! Now go and enjoy your weekend just like Keri plans to do in her 85 degree Kansas weather. I thought our 55 degrees was heaven sent...but now I'm supremely jealous of her summer climate. I'm afraid to even look at St. Louis' forecast but it can't be over 85 down there, can it? :)
Her day has finally come.
Today is Keri's last day of radiation. She is finished with this cancer nightmare and ready to move on with her life. Multiple scans, tests, fertility treatments, bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction, eight rounds of chemo, months of radiation, and one incredible emotional journey later.....here we are. Oh, and did she mention that she is single again? Old boyfriend is out of the picture for good:)
Today is also the last day at her job in Kansas, because she is moving back home to Indiana on Monday. She's lived in Kansas since we graduated in 2004 so this is a bittersweet change. But I think her priorities in life have re-aligned and being home with family can't be beat.
2008 has been one heck of a year for Miss Keri. You can read my other posts if you haven't been keeping up with her story or you can visit her journal----where she would love some words of encouragement on this HUGE day in her life.
I'm so proud of you, Ker. We were all rooting for you during this horrible but inspiring journey. I am thankful that we grew even closer in the past year with numerous emotional phone calls and even a face-to-face visit. I cherish you as one of my bestest friends ever and am inspired by you every day. I hope to see you soon:)
We all knew you could do it and look at you now:
Adorable little pixie cut and a huge grin on your face. Oh yeah, and that would be an extension rat tail just for added character:) That's our girl!
Today is also the last day at her job in Kansas, because she is moving back home to Indiana on Monday. She's lived in Kansas since we graduated in 2004 so this is a bittersweet change. But I think her priorities in life have re-aligned and being home with family can't be beat.
2008 has been one heck of a year for Miss Keri. You can read my other posts if you haven't been keeping up with her story or you can visit her journal----where she would love some words of encouragement on this HUGE day in her life.
I'm so proud of you, Ker. We were all rooting for you during this horrible but inspiring journey. I am thankful that we grew even closer in the past year with numerous emotional phone calls and even a face-to-face visit. I cherish you as one of my bestest friends ever and am inspired by you every day. I hope to see you soon:)
We all knew you could do it and look at you now:
Adorable little pixie cut and a huge grin on your face. Oh yeah, and that would be an extension rat tail just for added character:) That's our girl!
keri update
I talked to her tonight and the biopsy was negative!
Whew, what a relief. It's still not 100% certain since all biopsies can sample the wrong tissue---Keri put it best when she said it's like fishing in a big pond and trying to catch a certain fish but not the others. They will re-scan her in 6 weeks but for now this is an answered prayer. Thank you, God.
Also, the boobies are doing well. The new girls are hidden in bandages but I'm sure they are fabulous. A boob job and biopsy...all in a matter of two days. I'm tired just thinking about it.
Anyway, Ker was in good spirits and I could feel the relief in her voice. Thank you all for thinking of her. I know she appreciates it!
--------------------------------------------
Totally unrelated: I updated my mysterious post below, if you didn't check back.
Totally unrelated x2: Did I mention that the marathon is in 3 weeks? And did I mention that two out of town weddings will sandwich the marathon weekend? Wedding in Kansas City, Marathon, and then wedding in St. Louis. This is otherwise known as three weekends of pure craziness [ie traveling, running, being sore, dancing, seeing old friends, my parents are coming!!!, etc].
So yeah, things are about to get real exciting around these parts. Be prepared, my friends. Pictures to come.
Whew, what a relief. It's still not 100% certain since all biopsies can sample the wrong tissue---Keri put it best when she said it's like fishing in a big pond and trying to catch a certain fish but not the others. They will re-scan her in 6 weeks but for now this is an answered prayer. Thank you, God.
Also, the boobies are doing well. The new girls are hidden in bandages but I'm sure they are fabulous. A boob job and biopsy...all in a matter of two days. I'm tired just thinking about it.
Anyway, Ker was in good spirits and I could feel the relief in her voice. Thank you all for thinking of her. I know she appreciates it!
--------------------------------------------
Totally unrelated: I updated my mysterious post below, if you didn't check back.
Totally unrelated x2: Did I mention that the marathon is in 3 weeks? And did I mention that two out of town weddings will sandwich the marathon weekend? Wedding in Kansas City, Marathon, and then wedding in St. Louis. This is otherwise known as three weekends of pure craziness [ie traveling, running, being sore, dancing, seeing old friends, my parents are coming!!!, etc].
So yeah, things are about to get real exciting around these parts. Be prepared, my friends. Pictures to come.
Eye candy, etc.
If you are like me, you've always drooled over dreamy destination weddings. Nothing says fabulosity like getting married on a sandy beach, with the ocean as a background, and the sun shining down. Ah, pure paradise.
I got the pleasure to design my first destination wedding album for Brigid---who also happens to have her own photography business called Ramblin Rose Photography. It's a bit nerve wracking when you design a photo album for a photographer: their attention to detail can be more precise than non-photographer brides. But after tweaking her layouts so that both of us are satisfied, her album is officially ready for print!
Brigid's photographer was Eric Dahl from Maui Wedding Photography. Now THERE'S a career that makes me jealous enough to cry...taking gorgeous photos of weddings in Hawaii? Yes, please!
Here are a few of my favorite layouts but you can see the entire album under 'example's at J.Lorene Design. As always, click the images to make them bigger.
____________________________________________________
On a completely unrelated note [something that should probably be it's own post, but I'm feeling lazy right now]: Keri is scheduled for a lung biopsy on Monday. The re-read her CT scan and cannot deny that the spot is bigger, so they feel a biopsy is the only way to properly diagnose her. You can read more about it at her journal but please keep her in your prayers [thank you for doing so even before this new discovery!]. I spoke to Keri last night and she was rightfully overwhelmed by all of this new information. I simply cannot imagine. Ugh.
One positive bit of news is that she WILL get her boob job on Tuesday! Yay for new boobies:) I know she's been looking forward to the new girls and after much discussion the doctors decided she could go ahead with the original surgery date. Needless to say, Keri has a big week ahead of her.
Not to sound like a broken record but please let Keri's story impact your life in some way. For me, the recent events have brought me back to reality again. It's made me reasses my priorities in life and has helped me let go of the little things that seemed so important last week. Looking at the big picture that is life, and stepping back from the daily grind has helped me appreciate life's little blessings. And I hope it's done the same for you.
I got the pleasure to design my first destination wedding album for Brigid---who also happens to have her own photography business called Ramblin Rose Photography. It's a bit nerve wracking when you design a photo album for a photographer: their attention to detail can be more precise than non-photographer brides. But after tweaking her layouts so that both of us are satisfied, her album is officially ready for print!
Brigid's photographer was Eric Dahl from Maui Wedding Photography. Now THERE'S a career that makes me jealous enough to cry...taking gorgeous photos of weddings in Hawaii? Yes, please!
Here are a few of my favorite layouts but you can see the entire album under 'example's at J.Lorene Design. As always, click the images to make them bigger.
____________________________________________________
On a completely unrelated note [something that should probably be it's own post, but I'm feeling lazy right now]: Keri is scheduled for a lung biopsy on Monday. The re-read her CT scan and cannot deny that the spot is bigger, so they feel a biopsy is the only way to properly diagnose her. You can read more about it at her journal but please keep her in your prayers [thank you for doing so even before this new discovery!]. I spoke to Keri last night and she was rightfully overwhelmed by all of this new information. I simply cannot imagine. Ugh.
One positive bit of news is that she WILL get her boob job on Tuesday! Yay for new boobies:) I know she's been looking forward to the new girls and after much discussion the doctors decided she could go ahead with the original surgery date. Needless to say, Keri has a big week ahead of her.
Not to sound like a broken record but please let Keri's story impact your life in some way. For me, the recent events have brought me back to reality again. It's made me reasses my priorities in life and has helped me let go of the little things that seemed so important last week. Looking at the big picture that is life, and stepping back from the daily grind has helped me appreciate life's little blessings. And I hope it's done the same for you.
Pray Hard
Quick post:
I'm not sure if all of you read Keri's journal at Caring Bridge, but please pray for her with all of your might.
They did another CT scan and it seems the teeny tiny spot on her lung discovered in March might have grown----despite the aggressive 8 rounds of chemo. They weren't too concerned about it before and didn't even call it a metastases but it should have stayed the same size [or shrunk!] with treatment. It's still questionable and they are going to re-scan her to be sure, but this is obviously not good news. Very bad news. News that makes me want to puke.
Dear God, please be with Keri right now. And please let this suspicious spot turn out to be nothing but an awful scare. Please don't let it be spreading cancer. Amen.
I'm not sure if all of you read Keri's journal at Caring Bridge, but please pray for her with all of your might.
They did another CT scan and it seems the teeny tiny spot on her lung discovered in March might have grown----despite the aggressive 8 rounds of chemo. They weren't too concerned about it before and didn't even call it a metastases but it should have stayed the same size [or shrunk!] with treatment. It's still questionable and they are going to re-scan her to be sure, but this is obviously not good news. Very bad news. News that makes me want to puke.
Dear God, please be with Keri right now. And please let this suspicious spot turn out to be nothing but an awful scare. Please don't let it be spreading cancer. Amen.
crazy eights
How ironic is it that on 8/8/8 Keri has her 8th round [and FINAL round!] of chemo? Wish her luck, it's been a long 'first leg' of her journey. I know she is very excited to have a few weeks off before her surgery to feel normal again.
We are making the trek to mid-MO tonight and won't return until next Wednesday. I am so excited I can barely breathe. This is going to be a much needed break from everyday life and I can't wait to see my parents. I will return rejuvenated [I hope!] and bearing lots of pictures. Knock on wood.....but the weather forecast isn't too horrible for this weekend: barely in the 90s? I can totally handle that!
Also, we may or may not have purchased new running shoes last night and we found a fabulous deal. You know how I feel about new running paraphernalia and discounts, don't you? Pictures to follow:)
We are making the trek to mid-MO tonight and won't return until next Wednesday. I am so excited I can barely breathe. This is going to be a much needed break from everyday life and I can't wait to see my parents. I will return rejuvenated [I hope!] and bearing lots of pictures. Knock on wood.....but the weather forecast isn't too horrible for this weekend: barely in the 90s? I can totally handle that!
Also, we may or may not have purchased new running shoes last night and we found a fabulous deal. You know how I feel about new running paraphernalia and discounts, don't you? Pictures to follow:)
Go Shorty...
....it's your burf-day. Gonna party like it's your burf-day:)
[ie your 21st birthday]
[partying for no reason at all]
[walking for a cause, our new mature version of 'partying']
[Celebrating our similar hairstyles. Welcome to the dark side, my friend.]
[being there for each other for the past six birthdays]
Happy 27th birthday, Keri. I know going to chemo isn't your idea of a birthday celebration, but we love you. Hang in there! Show the birthday girl some love on her guestbook. Round seven of eight is today!
Miscellaneous Monday
It's been awhile, no? I suppose each of these items could be their own post but that is just boring.
Key West? The Bahamas? Somewhere tropical? NOPE. Try Milwaukee, suckers! I love it and I'm gloating about Lake Michigan right now. But isn't it pretty?
- I hesitated to post this but it's too powerful to ignore. Do you remember my post about Punk Rock Mommy's Andrea Collins-Smith? She had terminal inflammatory breast cancer and was a mother to six children. She passed away on July 5 and wrote this pre-written blog post for all to read. When I read it that Saturday, I couldn't let myself think about this too much. It was too much to bear. But then Andrea's husband, Kelly, posted this today. And I had to share, because it's something to put things into perspective. And who doesn't need a little bit of perspective at times? Please keep her family in your prayers, as I cannot imagine what they feel right now.
- I'm sure some of you are wondering about MY breast issues. I have an appointment on Thursday at the 'reputable breast care center' in our area. I'm a little bit excited [just to put this all behind me!] and a little bit nervous. I don't even want to mention this, and jinx it, but I think the thickening MIGHT have shrunk a bit. Maybe it's just recoiling from the constant palpation but I really think it's smaller. Of course, I'm still going on Thursday to see what they say....so wish me luck!
- Also, in more breast news, Keri is having a rough time with her 6th of 8 rounds of chemo. To use her verbiage, she feels like she got hit by a truck, and for Keri to admit that she feels less than 100% says a lot. Next Friday, July 25 , is her 27th birthday [and of course, it just so happens to be a chemo day]. So say a little prayer for our girl, especially on her birthday, that she can make it through the last rounds of chemo like a champ. If you haven't visited her journal in awhile you should [and maybe leave her a nice message, she loves that!] because she posted an adorable picture of her bald head! Tell me this isn't the cutest little head ever?!
- In NON-breast care news: I went a little nuts on iTunes this weekend and it felt SO good! Purchases include: Katy Perry's album "One of the Boys," Paramore's album "Riot!", John Mayer's song "Free Fallin," and a whole bunch of new techno songs for my long runs. Not to mention that a few weeks ago we bought Coldplay's new album "Viva la Vida" and Death Cab for Cutie's "Narrow Stairs." So yeah, we are jamming out over here and I would recommend each and every album to you [sans the random techno songs, I know nobody else appreciates those.]
- Speaking of random, I get tomorrow off! Completely unplanned and probably not something I SHOULD do [I don't have that much PTO you know] but my boss offered it to me and I pounced all over it. No real plans, except I should probably run the six miler tomorrow instead of Wednesday after work, but aren't those the best days?
- This weekend we have to run 12 miles. From here on out this training is NO joke and I'm starting to get nervous. I wonder if I'm mentally tough enough sometimes. Such a head case!
- Although I am anxiously awaiting proper visual documentation [ahem, I need pictures], one of my best friends Lindsey got engaged on Saturday!! She is the last one in the 'fab five' to get engaged and now we are officially old hags:) Obviously I'm losing my mind with excitement for her, and yet a twinge of sadness hits me, too. I wasn't there to see her bling in person that night and events like these make me miss my girlfriends badly.
- Please guess where this lovely body of water lies:
Key West? The Bahamas? Somewhere tropical? NOPE. Try Milwaukee, suckers! I love it and I'm gloating about Lake Michigan right now. But isn't it pretty?
It's a thickening, not a lump.
I have been contemplating this post for awhile and it feels like I've been keeping a big secret from you blog readers. This is my blog: I get to post about my life or whatever is on my mind and there is one big issue hijacking my brain lately. Posting about it makes it even more real but I feel like I have to share.
I found a lump in my breast.
I was hoping it was all in my head, and when I went to the doctor she would tell me, "You are crazy, there is absolutely nothing there." But guess what? It's there and about five strangers have felt me up in the past week to verify its presence. I've told them all about Keri and how I'm probably overreacting in light of her story---because I realize her case is a rarity and not the norm. Most of the time when a mammogram and ultrasound come back negative, you don't have cancer. Most of the time women in their 20's don't get breast cancer. But one of my best friends just so happens to be the exception to the rule. A year ago she was told her mammogram and ultrasound were negative, after she found a lump. Six months later: same results. One year after finding the lump [this past March] Keri followed her gut and demanded a biopsy. And now she has stage III cancer-- talk about a wake-up call.
I suppose you want to know details, right? Shortly after Keri's diagnosis, I started doing monthly breast self exams [and I hope you are, too!!] About a month ago I noticed a weird lump in my right breast. I felt it over and over again, wondering if it could be a lymph node, or a milk duct, or maybe even my pec muscle. Its shape is quite odd and is best compared to a tootsie roll. Just hold onto that mental image for a second: a tootsie roll is lodged inside my boob. Got it? Okay.
So I scheduled an appointment with the doctor, who referred me to get a mammogram, ultrasound, and a blood test. I was so incredibly nervous before my tests I almost broke down about three times, and my inner hypochondriac took over my life. What if it's cancer and it's spread throughout my whole body? Is that why my back hurts lately? If I die who is going to take care of my boys? I'm not ready to die yet, I have WAY too many things on my 'to-do' list!
Needless to say, I've been a bit distracted lately. I think I made that abundantly clear to Nate when I washed a load of laundry with the lid up----meaning it did not wash at all. He let that one slide without a sarcastic remark which means he loves me, in his own way. Well that and the extra hugs and kisses I've been getting lately, along with 'no reason flowers.' I NEVER get 'no reason flowers!'
The mammogram: the technician, Paula, is my new best friend. Seriously, she is a pimp and I love her. Immediately after feeling me up she said, "I feel it, but it's not scary to me. And I'm not going to call it a lump because it's more of a thickening." And this chic feels a lot of boobs for a living. As she smashed my girls into teeny little pancakes I asked her, "Don't you have a junior size machine for me somewhere? This one doesn't seem to fit right." But apparently transforming your womanly appendages into whoopie cushions is the goal and boy did she succeed. I swear to you, if I attempted to lower myself to the ground I would have hung by my boobs and died a slow death. But really, it wasn't so bad:) The results? My breasts are so young and densely fibrotic, they couldn't see anything. Which I guess means the test was negative for a mass but then again, I'm not sure they could see much anyway. Curse these young fibrotic breasts of mine!
The ultrasound: next came 'the dude whose name I don't remember.' He had an earring and has been in the business for thirty years, meaning he's seen a lot of boobs in his life, too. As he ran the probe over my suspicious area he said, "This is normal breast tissue. See here? This is glandular tissue and here is your fat pad." Okay, if you say so, dude. All I see is a bunch of black and white spots that all scream CANCER to me. But maybe that's just me being delusional again:) I told him that since my mammogram was null and void due to my 'young breasts', I was hoping the ultrasound would be more helpful. To which he responded, "Well yeah, but by the time we see anything on ultrasound it's usually really big." Great. Fantastic. Fabulous. The results? Ultrasound dude called in the doctor, who had a wicked lisp, to go over my results right then and there [my sanity thanks you for that one, doc]. He told me that both tests didn't show abnormal tissue. He suggested I keep a close eye on the area to watch for changes over the next few months. I think he could tell by my facial expression that I was still unsure, so he added, "You could always make an appointment with a general surgeon to discuss further options." When I straight up asked him if he suggested a biopsy he said, "No. The thickening is so large it would be difficult to assess without removing it, which would leave you without a chunk of your breast." [in laymens terms, I don't have much tissue to spare, so taking out a huge portion would leave me rather mangled.] What makes this statement really creepy is that Keri's original doctor told her the exact same thing after her negative mammogram and ultrasound last year. A little eerie, no?
I think the mammogram lady said it best: "If it wakes you up at night, and you can't get peace of mind, talk to a surgeon." After consulting my breast care counselor [a.k.a. Keri] I know I have to take the extra step and visit a surgeon. Keri's take home message has always been "You must biopsy every palpable mass" and it would be incredibly ignorant of me to stop after these tests. I realize that it's 'probably nothing.' I know that everything is going to be fine. But honestly, even if there is a 1% chance that it's 'something' why wouldn't I investigate it further?
So that is where we are now: I'm deciding which surgeon gets to deal with me:) Nate wants me to go to the big reputable hospital in our area, to find the best of the best surgeon around. And I have to agree---even though I was pleased with the staff at my little hospital---I should probably find a top dog to ease my mind. I'd prefer the general surgeon be a 'breast care specialist' so that they have lots of boobie experience, and if any of the Milwaukee girls have recommendations for me I'd gladly accept them.
As a side note, my inner tight wad and inner hypochondriac are battling it out in my head. On one hand I'm incredibly thankful that we have good medical insurance because this is exactly why we need it. There will still be some out-of-pocket costs [finishing out our deductible for the year] but Nate is being supportive and tells me this is some of the best money we'll spend. I suppose he's right because you can't put a price on peace of mind, or hearing that I DON'T have cancer. I know that is dramatic but that's me right now:)
Are you still with me after this mega post? Am I even making sense at this point? Thanks for hanging in there and wish me luck finding a surgeon! Now go and feel your boobs, for heaven's sakes!
I found a lump in my breast.
I was hoping it was all in my head, and when I went to the doctor she would tell me, "You are crazy, there is absolutely nothing there." But guess what? It's there and about five strangers have felt me up in the past week to verify its presence. I've told them all about Keri and how I'm probably overreacting in light of her story---because I realize her case is a rarity and not the norm. Most of the time when a mammogram and ultrasound come back negative, you don't have cancer. Most of the time women in their 20's don't get breast cancer. But one of my best friends just so happens to be the exception to the rule. A year ago she was told her mammogram and ultrasound were negative, after she found a lump. Six months later: same results. One year after finding the lump [this past March] Keri followed her gut and demanded a biopsy. And now she has stage III cancer-- talk about a wake-up call.
I suppose you want to know details, right? Shortly after Keri's diagnosis, I started doing monthly breast self exams [and I hope you are, too!!] About a month ago I noticed a weird lump in my right breast. I felt it over and over again, wondering if it could be a lymph node, or a milk duct, or maybe even my pec muscle. Its shape is quite odd and is best compared to a tootsie roll. Just hold onto that mental image for a second: a tootsie roll is lodged inside my boob. Got it? Okay.
So I scheduled an appointment with the doctor, who referred me to get a mammogram, ultrasound, and a blood test. I was so incredibly nervous before my tests I almost broke down about three times, and my inner hypochondriac took over my life. What if it's cancer and it's spread throughout my whole body? Is that why my back hurts lately? If I die who is going to take care of my boys? I'm not ready to die yet, I have WAY too many things on my 'to-do' list!
Needless to say, I've been a bit distracted lately. I think I made that abundantly clear to Nate when I washed a load of laundry with the lid up----meaning it did not wash at all. He let that one slide without a sarcastic remark which means he loves me, in his own way. Well that and the extra hugs and kisses I've been getting lately, along with 'no reason flowers.' I NEVER get 'no reason flowers!'
The mammogram: the technician, Paula, is my new best friend. Seriously, she is a pimp and I love her. Immediately after feeling me up she said, "I feel it, but it's not scary to me. And I'm not going to call it a lump because it's more of a thickening." And this chic feels a lot of boobs for a living. As she smashed my girls into teeny little pancakes I asked her, "Don't you have a junior size machine for me somewhere? This one doesn't seem to fit right." But apparently transforming your womanly appendages into whoopie cushions is the goal and boy did she succeed. I swear to you, if I attempted to lower myself to the ground I would have hung by my boobs and died a slow death. But really, it wasn't so bad:) The results? My breasts are so young and densely fibrotic, they couldn't see anything. Which I guess means the test was negative for a mass but then again, I'm not sure they could see much anyway. Curse these young fibrotic breasts of mine!
The ultrasound: next came 'the dude whose name I don't remember.' He had an earring and has been in the business for thirty years, meaning he's seen a lot of boobs in his life, too. As he ran the probe over my suspicious area he said, "This is normal breast tissue. See here? This is glandular tissue and here is your fat pad." Okay, if you say so, dude. All I see is a bunch of black and white spots that all scream CANCER to me. But maybe that's just me being delusional again:) I told him that since my mammogram was null and void due to my 'young breasts', I was hoping the ultrasound would be more helpful. To which he responded, "Well yeah, but by the time we see anything on ultrasound it's usually really big." Great. Fantastic. Fabulous. The results? Ultrasound dude called in the doctor, who had a wicked lisp, to go over my results right then and there [my sanity thanks you for that one, doc]. He told me that both tests didn't show abnormal tissue. He suggested I keep a close eye on the area to watch for changes over the next few months. I think he could tell by my facial expression that I was still unsure, so he added, "You could always make an appointment with a general surgeon to discuss further options." When I straight up asked him if he suggested a biopsy he said, "No. The thickening is so large it would be difficult to assess without removing it, which would leave you without a chunk of your breast." [in laymens terms, I don't have much tissue to spare, so taking out a huge portion would leave me rather mangled.] What makes this statement really creepy is that Keri's original doctor told her the exact same thing after her negative mammogram and ultrasound last year. A little eerie, no?
I think the mammogram lady said it best: "If it wakes you up at night, and you can't get peace of mind, talk to a surgeon." After consulting my breast care counselor [a.k.a. Keri] I know I have to take the extra step and visit a surgeon. Keri's take home message has always been "You must biopsy every palpable mass" and it would be incredibly ignorant of me to stop after these tests. I realize that it's 'probably nothing.' I know that everything is going to be fine. But honestly, even if there is a 1% chance that it's 'something' why wouldn't I investigate it further?
So that is where we are now: I'm deciding which surgeon gets to deal with me:) Nate wants me to go to the big reputable hospital in our area, to find the best of the best surgeon around. And I have to agree---even though I was pleased with the staff at my little hospital---I should probably find a top dog to ease my mind. I'd prefer the general surgeon be a 'breast care specialist' so that they have lots of boobie experience, and if any of the Milwaukee girls have recommendations for me I'd gladly accept them.
As a side note, my inner tight wad and inner hypochondriac are battling it out in my head. On one hand I'm incredibly thankful that we have good medical insurance because this is exactly why we need it. There will still be some out-of-pocket costs [finishing out our deductible for the year] but Nate is being supportive and tells me this is some of the best money we'll spend. I suppose he's right because you can't put a price on peace of mind, or hearing that I DON'T have cancer. I know that is dramatic but that's me right now:)
Are you still with me after this mega post? Am I even making sense at this point? Thanks for hanging in there and wish me luck finding a surgeon! Now go and feel your boobs, for heaven's sakes!
[I promise we still had a fun holiday weekend, posts to follow. But this needed to come first.]
Raced for the Cure
64,000 participants
3.1 miles walked
$3.3 million dollars raised
And one of the best events I've ever attended.
3.1 miles walked
$3.3 million dollars raised
And one of the best events I've ever attended.
Please check out this link to an awesome slideshow, made by the St. Louis Post Dispatch on STL Today.com. If you don't feel moved after watching it, there might be something wrong with you. Here are some stills from that same slideshow:
And now for my own personal pictures:) This is going to be a long post, so settle in for the long haul.
Me with Hannah and her mom, Ann, who has just completed 8 rounds of chemotherapy. She gets to wear the pink 'survivor' shirt to the race while the rest of us 'supporters' wore white shirts.
We walked down to the race from Hannah's place, because we knew parking would be a nightmare. Look at the glorious day we had downtown! And I'll never get enough Arch pictures, especially with sunshine like this.
With 60,000+ people you KNOW it was a great place for people watching. Look at this hot pink dog!
Look again. Someone seriously dyed their poodle pink in honor of breast cancer awareness. I think Henry would look fabulous in pink, don't you?
So here is part of our team Wilkie's Warriors. We donned the gray "Attitude is Everything" shirts for this occasion, even though I think Keri should have sported her pink survivor shirt. Do we look ready to walk?
I had to snap some pics of me and Lindsey even though we were sweaty beasts before 9 a.m. Oh how I missed St. Louis humidity!
And here I am with our girl! I think the pink bandanna is quite becoming, don't you?
We began the walk, which was pure chaos because of the sheer number of participants. Then all of a sudden we heard everyone gasp. They started taking pictures like this:
Why, you ask? When we came up over the hill this is what we saw. Click on the picture to get the full effect:
A sea of people all supporting the same cause. All touched by breast cancer. All fighting for the cure. It literally gave me goosebumps to see thousands of people united for a cause.Here is Keri's little sister Lynsey, Keri, our friend from college Mike and his wife Emily. They came all the way from Dallas, Texas for the race!
You know you are in St. Louis when you walk by an Imo's pizza parlor!! Love this picture.
I couldn't help but get a little emotional as we walked by these types of signs. Many of them said, "In honor of" or "In memory of" with names, then birth dates to death dates. Pictures of loved ones carried on participants' backs. I know there were many smiling angels looking down on St. Louis this day.
There were even Harley biker dudes waving and cheering for us. They were so cute I had to snap another picture:)
And some of the outfits were awesome. For instance, a pink hula skirt!
Then there was Lindsey's back sweat. I felt it was appropriate to include in this post, even if she gets mad at me. :)
As we rounded the corner we passed right by SLU---where we all went to college. Here we are on Compton avenue, one of the sketchier areas on campus, but you can still see College Church's steeple. It was only fitting to pose here, right?
This one is way better, lots of pretty buildings in the background and a nice little pond. So THAT is where all of my college tuition went....to keep up SLU's gorgeous grounds!
Our two survivors, Ann and Keri, trading chemo stories. It was so special to see them meet and bond, I had to be the creep with the camera:)
This is my take on an artsy balloon shot with Keri and Michael underneath. Didn't turn out quite like I wanted but oh well.
After the race some of us headed out to Llywelyn's Pub in Webster to re-fuel our bellies. Can I just say that the grilled cheese is to die for? Seriously.
And the real pearl of the whole day? The fact that Kabance Photo was there to snap a 'Party Pic' at the finish line!
You only understand the irony once I explain that Kabance was the company hired to capture our college party life moments. They were at every date dash, Greek event, and I believe even graduation. We'd hop online after a night out to see what kind of debauchery presented itself in pictures. And now? Here they were capturing a grown up moment shared by college alums, standing a few feet from our university. Life is funny sometimes, isn't it?I know this post is already really long, but I just want to share a few thoughts, so hang in there!
The weekend could not have been better. I got to spend quality time with amazing girlfriends, we had perfect sunny weather, I ran the 6 mile loop in Forest Park [my old stomping grounds!], enjoyed lots of yummy food, and I left feeling refreshed. Trips back to St. Louis always make me nostalgic and a little sad, but this time I can honestly say I only felt happiness. It was a special weekend, and I'm incredibly grateful that I was able to attend the Race for the Cure.
I know everyone has the same question: How is Keri doing?
Well, first of all she is the most adorable bald girl ever. Who knew that underneath all of that curly hair was a tiny little head? I mean it's TINY. And perfectly shaped, without any weird birthmarks or anything, so she pulls off the G.I. Jane look without missing a beat. Although I love her wigs and scarves, the bald head is my favorite. It just makes me want to rub it but I restrained myself from petting my friend. That would be a little odd, no?
She also seems more like herself now, compared to the last time I saw her [right after the first chemo]. Correct me if I'm wrong, Keri, but I think St. Louis makes her a happy girl. Lots of smiles, laughter, and a little more bounce in her step again. She's Keri again, not that she ever lost herself, but I'm hoping that the worst is behind her. I'm so excited to see what her bright future holds and I can't wait to share many more happy memories together.
We got to spill our guts during some classic girl talk sessions. Man, I missed those. They ended with laughing so hard we were crying and barely breathing. Even with Keri's dried out tears we managed to crack ourselves up, just like old times. There is nothing like divulging too much personal information to a best friend, over-analyzing boys and relationships, and reminiscing about the good old days.
So did anyone else attend the Race? I kept my eyes out for some familiar faces but didn't see any. I'd love to attend the Milwaukee Race but I'll be at a wedding in St. Louis that weekend. I highly recommend going to any and everyone affected by breast cancer in some way. You will not be disappointed.
And with that I am off to bed, with visions of pink shirts and smiling faces dancing in my head:)
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