Cecelia at One Month

It's time for the monthly posts to begin again! I am not going to do the onesie stickers this time, but I think I will still take a picture of her on the rocker plus one on her quilt . We'll see if I can keep up the two shots each month!


Um, how is my newborn baby one month old, you guys? Here we go again with this blog turning into 'OMG, time is going too fast and I love my kids and this is such a fun stage' blah blah blah. Except, having a one month old baby isn't truly 'fun' but it's still amazing. And really hard. And getting better by the day. But still hard. I think having a two year old makes me enjoy the newborn phase a little bit more because I know it really does go so fast. Soon enough she will be entertaining us with her toddler antics and we'll be chasing her around the house wondering where time has gone. But I also can't wait for the really fun stuff to start happening (ie purposeful smiles, a routine, good sleep, walking, talking, learning, etc) because Truman is proof that it's really so much fun to watch them enter each stage. It's quite the paradox to love this newborn stage but also yearn for more interactive days at the same time. Another lesson in taking things one day at a time....a lesson I have yet to master.

a comparison...
They look so much alike and yet, both are still different, too. Funny how that happens.

Let's talk about miss Cecelia now.

Snoozing abilities:
Cecelia is still going strong for her typical nighttime routine that she has literally had since week one. She will sleep at night for a 3-4 hour stretch at first, then after feeding she will make it another 2ish hours, which means I am waking up just twice a night to feed her. So basically we nurse at 10pm, then she wakes around 2 or 3 am, and then again around 4-5am. The alarm goes off at 6am and sometimes she will keep sleeping in the morning after that but other days she likes to get up and party with the whole family. Not so bad at all, but I'm not seeing her stretch these little sleeper sessions out at all. She's consistent with night time at least--but everything else is a guessing game for what to expect.

During the day, her naps are still all over the place. It's weird because some days I can see a pattern forming and other days it is literally the opposite schedule of what I thought. I used to think that CC liked to sleep most of the morning, then was up for about an hour or two in the mid afternoon, slept again and then was up and fussy all evening. But really? It changes every day. Sometimes she will only nap for 5 minute stretches over and over again all day long. One day she took a 4 hour nap at the same time as her brother (!!), only interrupted for about 5 minutes to nurse on one side. But no matter what, she really does prefer to be held or worn for all naps. Even a swing with swaddle and white noise doesn't seem to be a magic fix right now, although sometimes I do get her to nap outside of my arms for a decent amount of time. So yeah, basically I have no clue what to expect each day---a sleepy baby, an awake baby, happy or fussy. Ah, babies. Gotta love being in survival mode during these early weeks! Luckily I don't mind holding/wearing my girl all day long because stealing those cuddles is what keeps mama going. Cuddly little baby hugs are the best part of the newborn phase, if you ask me. It just makes it hard to pee when you have a baby in your arms or on your chest at all times.

Lady can pound some milk:
Yes, that is my title for Cecelia's nursing tendencies. She is usually eating every one and a half to two hours during the day and I offer both sides but sometimes she has enough after one. She just loves to nurse and usually does a good job with it. But she still likes to nurse for comfort in the evenings and would prefer that my milk doesn't actually enter her mouth during those times. Nursing for comfort is totally fine by me. But nursing and then crying and fussing whenever the milk actually comes in? Very stressful. Thank goodness it's not every day and only for a few hours in the evenings anyway--if she was always like that during the day, too, I'd really hate breastfeeding. My gut tells me that she is just overtired in the evenings and wants to use me as a human pacifier. And it's not even every evening so how in the heck am I supposed to diagnose her and 'fix' the problem? Oh. Maybe I'm not supposed to stress and try to fix whatever is bugging Cecelia? Interesting thought. :)

Since she despises all 'real' pacifiers I don't really have another feasible option for her to try other than my boob when she is rooting and looking to nurse. And so most evenings, when she is cluster feeding for comfort, she will over do it a bit and spit up and get a little cranky from too much milk. Or maybe she is just cranky anyway and the milk vomit is a side product of her evening fuss? Who knows. I think it's all normal but we now have four episodes of ridiculous amounts of puke on the books. Like, at least a cup of spit up each time and almost always this happens in the evenings after nursing. She doesn't cry about it and I think she's gaining weight well, so I try not to worry about it. But I will definitely talk to the pediatrician about it next week at our one month appointment. I'm thinking it's a sensitive gag reflex combined with too much milk at once since this usually happens in the evenings and not during the day or night. It's normal for babies to spit up, yes, and some are BIG TIME spitters but healthy....right?

Being fussy and tired in the evenings, not liking my milk during that time, and big-scary spit ups are obviously the three things that spark my MUST FIX IT gene. You couldn't tell that by reading this post at all, could you?

Also, we tried giving little lady her first bottle of breastmilk last week and it was an epic fail. She was screaming and gagging and making this awful face like we were trying to make her drink battery acid. I couldn't take it anymore and gave up that night, nursing her instead. So we tried again the next night with the same bottle because I will be damned if I have to dump out defrosted breastmilk! And that time she took a whopping one ounce out of the offered five ounces. Sigh. Really hoping she gets the hang of the bottle soon because it's stressing me out to think that she might have a hard time with them at daycare. And I cannot fathom dumping out more frozen milk because it's expired in the fridge after 24 hours. Come on baby girl---let's work on it this week, mmmkay? Not going to lie, though--I dread trying to work bottle feeding into our schedule. I hate having to find a good time to offer her a bottle, then heating it up, praying that she takes it from Nate, etc. It's just one more thing to deal with, you know? Kind of like finding the time to pump in the mornings--I totally dread it but always feel better once it's done. But I know these things must get done, so we'll do our best to work them into the hectic newborn days.

Epic fail

Little personality:
She's showing us what she likes and doesn't like each day, and I really do love this part of discovering a newborn. Still hates pacifiers, car seats, and being put down when asleep. Loves to be worn and held and cuddled. Loves moving in general--walking around outside, driving in the car (but not coming to a stop for more than 1 minute, the horror!!), and exploring different rooms of our house. Loves most music, especially DMB, and adores her expensive nursery glider. She really doesn't mind her baths anymore and I think she digs diaper changes, too. I have to label Cecelia as mostly content with a dash of Diva, with a capital 'D'. I mean, she is definitely a girl and I can see a big difference between her and what her brother was like at this age. Cecelia is much more dramatic and demanding and I have a feeling we might be in for it with this little girl. But then again, I am always shocked to read back over my Truman posts from his first month because I do not remember him fussing in the evenings, or spitting up, or hating his car seat and pacifier. And apparently all of that happened with him and I just don't recall, since I must wear rose-colored glasses. I really thought I was a mom who enjoyed the newborn phase and part of me still does, but part of me thinks it's a lot harder than I remember from the first time.

She had her first total freakout, meltdown, inconsolable evening the other night and it really shook my confidence as a mom. Now, granted, it was only 35 minutes of hysterical crying and not 3 hours or anything. But it was enough to have me in tears, my heart pounding, praying to God that this doesn't become the norm at night. Nothing I did would settle miss lady and I seriously tried everything. She finally fell asleep nursing and then later on she had another little episode for Nate. Want to know what finally settled her down for him (while I was doing bedtime with Truman)? Um, swaddling and a pacifier. What? I thought she hated both of those things but whatever works. Babies sure do keep you on your toes, huh? After these two crying fits (and after a big glass of wine for both Nate and I), we were discussing how helpless newborns can be. And I told Nate that Truman never cried like that and so I'm worried that Cecelia is going to be much more of a handful. Nate looked at me like I was crazy and said he vividly remembers walking in circles with Truman as he screamed hysterically in the nursery. I honestly cannot recall that ever happening---so maybe I will also forget about CC's hysterics. But maybe not, since I just wrote about it:)

The superficial:
Well first, her hair is still awesome and longer than it was at birth. I am obsessed with making her wear bows now, which isn't something I thought I'd do. But 'Hi, my name is Julia and I'm addicted to putting bows in my daughter's awesome hair.' Maybe I just embraced the bows because I am afraid she is getting a receding hair line. And if it all falls out on top resulting in a female-mullet I will cry, mourning the loss of her gorgeous signature locks. I sure do hope she can pull off a femullet/male patterned baldness like her brother did. And who knows, maybe it will still stay put---I think Truman's hair was mostly gone by this point anyway.

Exhibit A: The Hair

With all kinds of bows/headbands:


Do you think she has enough bows? Going to need another bow holder soon...

As a side note: Truman got his baby acne and cradle cap around 5 weeks. Hoping Cecelia doesn't follow in his footsteps for that one either. Balding, pimples and flaky skin = only things a newborn baby can handle without being totally pitiful. And really, they are still pretty pitiful most of the time, aren't they?

Her newborn onesies are getting way too tight and I can't really snap them over her diaper anymore. I'm still keeping her in mostly NB sizes though because I'm not ready to pack them away--and a separate top with bottoms are fine. It's just the length of the one-pieces that are too small right now. She has worn some of her 3 month clothes and they fit much better in length and shockingly aren't too baggy in the width either. Can't believe she is outgrowing her first set of clothes already but I'm already really excited to get her into more of the adorable 0-3 month outfits I have ready for little miss. Dressing Cecelia each morning is seriously one of the highlights of my day---and actually, I still thoroughly enjoy picking out Truman's outfits, too. The day my kids won't let me dress them anymore is a day I will melt into a sobbing mess. For real. Maybe then I'll have to care about my own wardrobe at that point...

I weighed myself and then weighed me holding her the other day and I think she is about 9.5 pounds already. Insane. Truman was 10 pounds 3 oz at one month but he looked a LOT fatter in pictures, so we'll see what Cecelia actually posts at her appointment. If she IS close to 10 pounds I will be super pumped though because then we can start her in our Bum Genius cloth diapers---paying for disposables during this time when she uses a TON of diapers each day is ridiculously expensive! And I want to see her fluffy cloth diaper butt in outfits ASAP:)

CC has flashed a few smiles at us already, which prompted me to google 'when do infants start smiling'. Because really? Smiling at 3 weeks when not asleep or actively pooping? They really don't seem to be 'just gas' but then again, it's only happened a handful of times. Thankfully I have caught a few on camera to prove that I'm not crazy. I'm definitely excited for her smiles to be more consistent and actually because she is happy, though. I have a feeling her grin is going to be out of this world, you guys. Cue the crazy parents making googly eyed faces at the baby, willing her to smile so hard that said parents pop a blood vessel from high pitched voices. Yep, that is me and Nate right now. And I'm sure we are already embarrassing CC like the dorky parents we are.

See? I don't lie.

(and it wasn't just that one day, although that is the only day I got really good smiles on camera.)

How mama is doing:
Because really, this blog may be about my kids now but I still like to be a little selfish at times, you know? :)

I am still riding out the highs and lows of mothering a newborn and a toddler. It's just so odd to me that the high moments can be followed closely behind with a low moment in a matter of minutes! Within the same day! And really, I feel the most anxious and sad in the evenings when CC is having her fussy time and Truman is overtired and whining and we are ALL just so tired. So I guess if you look at the grand scheme of things, having a hard 4 hours out of a 24 hour period isn't so bad. But those 4 hours are enough to tarnish the good 20 hours, you know?

I love having two kids and would not trade it for the world, even with the rough evenings around here. I've had about three times in the past month where I just stare down at Cecelia and cry happy tears, thanking God for such a blessing in our lives. Most of the time those happy cries happen when we are listening to music together---something about familiar song lyrics always get me. One night after a challenging few hours of trying to get both of our kids to sleep, Nate gave me a big hug and said, 'Thank you for being such a great mommy. To both of our kids.' I almost lost it then, too, because I REALLY needed to hear that from him.

And Truman? He still loves his sister to death. He will ask to hold her, he will share his toys with her and will force her to look at his temporary tattoos as he teaches her all about Thomas and Friends:) My favorite quote of his lately? 'Hi baby! Big brother is here!' I die. He really has not shown any jealousy or acting out even now that the newness has definitely worn off. The only real difference I can see in him is that he is fighting his bedtime like a champ right now, which of course makes those wonderful fussy evenings even better when both kids are freaking out. But that might not be due to Cecelia and maybe it's just a phase Truman is going through? He's still a happy, wonderful kid though---one who loves being a big brother. I'm so thankful he can entertain himself a bit now while I tend to Cecelia.

Real pictures from last week ...

Demanding to hold the baby, then 'booping' her nose with his finger:)

Looks so much like her brother here!

Sharing trains. She looks thrilled.

Our kids

Ruffle butt does tummy time

I just love this face

super baby!

tummy time on daddy is a group effort. She loves it, obvi!

So big!

Instagram/iPhone time! And in case you don't read my comments from other posts, I shared that my new user name that is safe for the internets is mrsjuliagoolia. Come find me! And then maybe I won't have to post all of these pictures here AND there, each week.

I got her hospital shadow box finished!

How many pacifiers will I try before I give up? Cause all of these babies aren't working, my friends. (except for that one time with Nate but whatever)

Epic trip to Target, first time going with two kids alone. Also the first time we made it in and out in just 10 minutes, only spending $35. Take that, Target gods!

Hi. We like pink and white.

My family on a Sunday morning. Heart exploding.

That day she slept for 4 hours. With her own take on boppy sleeping

Never ever want to forget these early nursing days

CC's third week

Another week down, and I feel like last week flew by at a frightening pace. Hoping my entire maternity leave doesn't go this quickly but I sort of know better and therefore I'm trying my hardest to really be present in each moment. Even when it's freaking HARD caring for a newborn. Yep, this weekly post isn't going to be all puppies and rainbows, I'm afraid. You are lucky I'm typing it right now at 1:00 in the afternoon instead of some evening when I have a fussy baby in my arms. Because one thing I've learned about myself: I can go from the highest of highs, loving life and feeling like I'm kicking major A in the game of mothering two kids. But then within a matter of minutes I can feel totally panicked and doomed, most likely because of a newborn and/or toddler meltdown. Yes, these early weeks are both the best and the worst:) I sort of remember that now.

Sleep: well, nighttime sleep is about the same and still pretty darn good. She is sleeping for about 3 or 4 hours in her first stretch and then wants to eat every 2-3 hours after that. Which means it's still only two wake ups in the night before Nate's alarm (and our little toddler alarm named Truman) goes off at 6am. Not too shabby. She is falling asleep really well in the night after feeding and I'm not always changing her diaper anymore unless she seems uncomfortable or I'm sure she's pooped.

Daytime sleep is just all over the place, though. Sometimes she will nap for two full hours in between feedings and it's like she is out to the world despite Henry barking and Truman being a loud toddler. But other times she will seem super tired but will only sleep 5 minutes at a time before waking up and being ticked about it. She still likes to be held when sleeping and it's almost comical how her eyes will pop open as soon as I set her down somewhere. I know this is normal and newborns aren't supposed to have a cookie-cutter nap schedule just yet but it definitely makes the day a little more unpredictable because I have no idea if she will mostly sleep or be mostly awake. Definitely more awake in general this week, though. I'd say she takes a pretty good solid nap in the mornings/mid morning, again the afternoon, and then she is basically awake for the evening until bed. I've been using our Moby wrap and Bjorn this week and these are both SO helpful to keep CC sleeping while letting me use my hands for other things around the house. Too bad it's 90 degrees outside and therefore REALLY hot when I wear her outside---we both end up sweating within minutes wherever our skin is touching.

Temperament: CC is proving to be calm and relaxed, just like her big brother. Well, most of the times I'd call her 'calm' and happy. But other times? Not so much.

Sister is sort of dramatic, you guys. Like, she loves to make really intense faces to show us how she really feels. For example, if I try to give her a pacifier she will honestly gag and grimace like I've just poisoned her. When she is trying to poop she will still turn bright red and raise her eyebrows and make it a very definite event. It's sort of hilarious because, well, she is her mother's daughter and I've been known to be a little dramatic at times.

Also, she is definitely a fuss bucket in the evenings from about 5-9pm. Man. She just can't figure out what she wants to do or something. Now, to her credit, it's not like she is screaming non-stop this whole time because although she is mostly awake, she really isn't ticked the entire time and shows long stretches of being awake and content. When she is happy (which is most of the time), she is really peaceful and content but when she is mad--watch out! During these evening hours she wants to keep moving, changing scenery and keeping us on our toes every few minutes. Typical newborn stuff, yes, but I definitely forgot about fussy evenings and even asked Nate if he remembers Truman crying like this. He does remember, for what it's worth, but I must have blocked it from my memory.

She still dislikes the car seat but has been doing better about falling asleep in there and not caring....until she reaches her breaking point of about 30 minutes when she just HAS.TO.GET.OUT of it. Case in point: we had our first major newborn meltdown in public on Sunday at the grocery store. Cece was snoozing away in her carrier, like NBD, but then all of a sudden about a half an hour into it, she freaked the eff out. Crying, would not take a paci, would not be soothed with me swinging or rocking her seat at all. Of course, all four of us were together for this trip (thank you, God, because if were just me and the kids I might have started crying) so I left the boys inside to check out while I took C outside for some fresh air. I wanted to take her out of the seat to cuddle her a bit but I knew we'd have to drive home in a matter of minutes so that didn't make sense. Even outside little lady was super pissed off. I met a 'friend' outside who was an elderly lady and very sweet, saying that Cecelia is a doll and I look great, blah blah blah but all I could hear was the sound of CC's high pitched cries. Finally, after Nate had to endure one of the dumbest checkers ever, we headed home with a screaming baby in the back seat and her big brother trying desperately to soothe his sister from his own car seat. Super cute and super heartbreaking. As soon as we got home I bolted inside with CC and nursed her which worked. Hallelujah! Poor sister was just over it, in a big way. And it was about 90 degrees outside so she was hot and sweaty after her little episode and I was fine to just sit and nurse/cuddle for a good hour or so after all of that. We both needed recovery time!

Before all hell broke loose:


A few things that work to soothe miss fussy pants Cecelia: Dave Matthew's Band, specifically his song 'Two Step'. Which means both of my children totally dig this song to the point that they immediately stop crying when it comes on and will just stare contentedly into outer space during the entirety of his lyrics. Truman did the same thing at this age and Nate remembered this weapon to fend off the fussies, and tried it on CC the other night with great success. Thank you, God, for making DMB. Also, she likes being held on her side---not flat on her back and not really up on my chest (well, sometimes during the day she digs that and will pass out there---fave!) but on her side. Although she dislikes being swaddled and is a little Houdini that can get those tiny arms out of her blanket in record time, if she does keep her hands down inside the swaddle she is a lot happier. So swaddling, while being held on her side, listening to Dave = one sure way to get her to calm down. And also? That really big splurge of a rocker in her nursery? Proving to be a great purchase because all three times I've taken her in there for a change of scenery she relaxes and becomes totally content when gliding with me in there (while swaddled and listening to Dave, of course). She also likes Simon and Garfunkel's song 'Cecilia', even though they spelled her name wrong. What can I say? She is really into her self at this point:) And the last thing on our short list of 'last resorts to use when attempting to soothe a newborn'? Walking up and down our driveway while baby girl stares up at the sky. I'm sure our new neighbors (who are all over the age of 50) must smile to themselves remembering 'those days' when they see me wearing a path in our driveway with Cecelia.

This seems silly but I really think Cecelia loves Truman already. I promise you, whenever he is near her she perks up and tries to look in his general direction. We really play this up for Truman, saying that CC just loves her big brother and he is such a great kid that he eats it up, too. Still gentle and caring and loves to help mommy with baby sis.

Nursing: Still going well, although I still wonder if my supply is a bit much for her at times.
Sometimes when she nurses in the evenings she actually gets mad when my milk comes in. Like she would rather just suck for comfort and cannot deal with actual milk entering her mouth. I think she is just so overtired at this point and probably overfull from eating so frequently, that she has no desire to actually swallow milk. Kind of funny when I think about it now, but not at all funny while it's happening. So I'm still wondering if maybe my supply is too much for her, or my let down is too strong but it's really only in the evenings when it seems to bug her. Daytime and during the night she is seemingly pleased with my supply but evenings do cause some choking and pulling off the breast and stress for both of us. I try to keep her feedings about two-ish hours apart during the day, but by the evening hours during her fussy moments, all she wants to do is nurse. But only for a few minutes at a time and even then, it's really hard when she is upset and pulling off. Again, if she actually took a pacifier we'd be golden but alas, she hates all 4 kinds I've tried.

She is usually taking both sides usually and lasting a good 10-15 minutes at a time which is great. Aside from occasionally choking and lots of grunting when my milk lets down I'd say nursing is going swell. Still pumping once a day and plan to give her the first bottle sometime this week. Why do I dread this milestone so much? It's dumb because I know it will only give me a rest at times but I hate thinking about her not 'needing' me as much.

Spitting up comes and goes---as in, one day I was totally convinced she has reflux because she was spitting up after each feeding and it was a lot of milk each time. But then she has had days when she barely urps at all and I'm not really doing anything differently. I have been better about keeping her upright during feeds and for about 20 minutes afterward. And I will burp her if she seems grunty or like she has gas but otherwise I'm not pushing it because it will most always make her barf a little bit. At this moment, I feel confident that Cecelia is just a typical newborn who is a 'happy spitter' and we just have to deal with the occasional vomit. But like I said, some days I'm just convinced it's more serious. Time will tell, I suppose.

Milestones/growth: She is totally chunking up and looking less and less like a squishy newborn so I know milk is treating her well overall. I have no idea how much she weighs but her newborn onesies are getting harder to snap over her diaper already. Sister might be long and lean, that is for sure. I feel like Truman was fatter at this point and he was outgrowing the newborn clothes by 4 weeks and maybe Cecelia will be the same just due to her length? Some 0-3 onesies are fitting better than the newborn stuff now. Not because of her fat gut like her bro, and she definitely doesn't have the double/triple chins that he did but it's still pretty early in the chubby baby game. Kids grow up too darn fast, you guys!

I survived my first two days at home alone with both kids last week! They were no freaking joke and were full of highs and lows, of course. CC's remaining broken umbilical cord fell off just 2 days after the big part broke off, so she's been getting 'real' baths now. Hates them, but needs them:) We all survived our first grocery store trip (just barely) and little lady is still a trooper, running lots of errands with her mommy whenever I can build up the courage to put her in the car seat. I also felt VERY proud of myself last night when I took both kids to the playground by myself. I did that last week once, too, but I used our double BOB and kept C in there the whole time. Well, last night I put her in the Bjorn and pulled T in the wagon. That was equivalent to running a marathon if you ask me and I was sweating bullets trying to keep an eye on Truman on tall slides while praying that C stayed asleep on my chest. Both times I've braved the playground alone with two kids have gone well but both times were seriously so stressful for me that I was dreaming about having an ice cold beer after. And by the way, I have had a beer or a glass of wine here or there and my goodness----I've missed the occasional drink! Tastes SO good especially in this heat. Oh, and for the other 'no-no' during pregnancy/breastfeeding---I'm still surviving on 'just' decaff coffee. I find this amazing because I'm certain that I was inhaling the real stuff by week 3 with Truman. I just figure that if I can get by without it then I don't have to worry about caffeine affecting CC's sleep at all. And man, caffeine withdrawal headaches are THE WORST so if I can avoid getting back on the hard stuff all together, even better. We'll see if this lasts all maternity leave or not, but honestly---my fresh cup of decaff coffee in the mornings is every bit as satisfying as the real stuff. For now, that is. :)

Ready for the weekly photo dump??




Happy Father's Day!!

Our gift to Nate. ALMOST got the guy to cry!

On her 3 week birthday, classic ATNR reflex for those PTs out there:)




And some Instagram/iPhone goodies...

I love maternity leave so much:

My precious cargo:

What was I saying about her not being too fat yet?

Me and my little lady

Her first birthday party was a success! Eli turns two, and the second children are adorable all lined up:

Sleepy time, all propped up in the co-sleeper:

The hair: before and after a bath

Oh, and this has nothing to do with Cecelia being 3 weeks old but Truman got to go to A Day Out with Thomas in Green Bay with his grandpa last week. He had an amazing time and it was SO worth it to see these pictures that grandpa took. I love that my little guy is so obsessed with Thomas and he is still talking about 'riding Thomas with Paw Paw'.




his favorite part---where grandpa had to physically remove him from the train tables at the end of the trip

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