"Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?"
Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the most loaded, intensely debated question in the history of all pregnancies. (Aside from 'Will you breastfeed?' and 'Are you going to be a Stay At Home Mom or will you be a Working Mom?' These questions deserve a post of their own and they make me want a strong drink, so I must refrain from them at this time.)
People will throw fits, will roll their eyes, scowl at you and possibly even throw a hunk of food at your pregnant face if you do not answer this gender question 'correctly.' I mean seriously, besides politics and religion this must be the biggest reason for wars across the world. It's really that heated. At least, that's what I've discovered in the past few weeks. Anyone else with me?
On one side of the room we have the It's-The-Only-True-Surprise-Left-In-Life-So-Why-Would-You-Want-To-Ruin-It? camp. They stick to gender neutral nurseries/clothing purchases, and somehow by the grace of God agree upon a name for a girl and also a boy. They say things like 'Generations before us never knew the gender until the baby was born, and they did just fine, ' and 'I want my husband to announce our baby's gender in the delivery room because that moment is going to be the most special time in our lives.' These people are true saints in my eyes and I have total and utter respect for their levels of patience.
On the other side of the room, where both Nate and I firmly stand, is the It's-Still-An-Amazing-Surprise-In-Life-But-We-Will-Just-Find-Out-Twenty-Weeks-Earlier-Than-Delivery camp. We are the type of people that want to know our baby's gender as soon as possible for many reasons, but none of them have to do with the dreaded 'C' word: Control. Even before I got pregnant I came to the conclusion that the miracle of growing a human being inside another human being is so far out of my beloved 'control' that I just threw in the towel on being the one in charge here.
Sure, I'm a planner. I'm Type A. I am supremely detail oriented and due to all of these things, many people who know me (and my scarily similar husband) realize that it's just in my personality to find out the sex of the baby. None of my closest friends or family were surprised with our decision and yet many people feel the need to try and change our minds on this one. Not gonna happen, folks. And here is my reasoning:
I am still having a difficult time internalizing the fact that I'm pregnant. I've been blessed with a relatively easy first trimester and at times I seriously forget that I'm housing our first born child. It's very surreal and I can't visualize a real baby being born in March....for now it's just a floating, nameless, fruit-like object that might just be a figment of my imagination.
I want to find out the sex because I truly believe that will help personify the baby, changing from an 'It' to a 'Son' or 'Daughter.' I want to be whole-heartedly set on a name so that I can start calling the baby something other than 'Bloob' or 'Pedro.' Although I tend to be non-traditional in my decorating sense and would never decorate a boy's room all blue or a girl's room all pink, I do want to know the gender for some subtle decorating guidance.
And probably our biggest reason for wanting to find out the sex (besides being way too excited to wait 9 months) is because of the labor and delivery. You see, I want to eliminate as many unknown variables in the delivery room as possible. I'm well aware that it could be a stressful, intense time in our lives and I feel like if we at least know the sex of the baby then it's one less shocker to sneak up on us. I could see it being like this: expecting a smooth, easy delivery then all of a sudden something goes wrong and they have to do an emergency C-section after pushing for 24 hours and then although I'm convinced we are having a boy, out pops a girl. Too much information for my overloaded brain!
So I'd rather just know the sex, know our picked name, and hope for the best after that. It makes sense to us which I guess is what counts.
But those are my reasons and I'm certain that you will stand on one side or the other no matter what I say. I can understand the other point of view but it's just not for me.
As I've mentioned before I'm really feeling like we are having a boy. I think it started with Nate admitting to wanting a boy, but then following that up with 'but if we have a girl I will be just as happy.' It's true, we will be SO happy with either sex that it really won't matter if I'm totally wrong on my guess.
But then there's the infamous Chinese Gender Chart everyone talks about. You find your age at conception and then the month of conception and voila!! It's apparently 90% accurate, which solidifies my instinct even more:
Of course I realize it's totally not possible to predict something like this when it's all about X chromosome sperm versus Y chromosome sperm, but it's still fun. And when the little blue boy said 'Hi, Mom!' to me I got a little teary. Seriously, a bogus cartoon baby with one giant head almost made me cry. I'm obviously pregnant, huh?
Then there was this gender prediction website test I took. Again, team blue with a 70% chance this time.
I must reiterate, we will be JUST as pumped for a girl but I really do think it's a boy. My gut instinct has been majorly wrong in the past (assuming it would take months or even years to get knocked up) but we'll see.
So out of curiosity, I'm going to ask where you stand on this great debate. Let's all be mature adults about it and refrain from slamming the other camp because really----this has to be one of the most personal decisions out there. So what do you think? Wait to find out at delivery or find out before? Did I miss any of the major points from either side?
Also, if you care to place your bets on what I'm having I'd be delighted to hear your guesses:)