The cost of a loss

Has anyone out there had the pleasure of dealing with medical insurance drama before? If so---you might totally feel me on this post. And if not, you are incredibly lucky and maybe you should read this anyway in case you are ever in a similar situation. I feel like SOMEONE has to learn something from this horrible journey we've been on since April and I'll gladly share my story in the name of helping someone else beat the bad guys and come out on top. Where to begin? This might get long. And maybe a little sad.

Well, first of all, Nate and I have always felt very strongly about always having medical insurance no matter how expensive or inconvenient it may be. It's just not worth the risk of having a catastrophic accident wipe us clean of our savings because we didn't opt to pay for a policy, assuming that since we are healthy we don't need insurance. That's just our mindset and I know not everyone thinks like us, but even after all of this ridiculous drama with insurance I still vow to always carry a policy no matter what.

Earlier this year, when I decided to change companies with my job, I knew that there would be a gap from the time I left my old company in March to the time when my new company would qualify me for benefits in July. We were planning on Nate carrying all of the benefits for our family when he began his new job, and that would get us insurance by June 1---so we still had a good few months when we needed to patch in a policy for our family.

Enter the confusing world of an internet 'self' policy, not provided by an employer! We found Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield online and figured it would work out just fine for those few months, although the premiums weren't cheap at all (about $300 per month for our family) and the deductible was high ($5,000). We knew it would cover any major catastrophe past the 5k mark and it was really the best we could do without employer coverage. The one catch was that it did not include maternity coverage---something we knew way back in February when we selected the policy. But we were not planning to expand our family or 'try' to get pregnant and I personally figured that if I did happen to get pregnant in those few months before Nate's employer kicked in, it would only be one or two office visits before his coverage, which we could handle if we were blessed enough to be in that position.

And then, of course, I got my surprise BFP at the end of March and immediately called the OB's financial office to figure out how much one office visit and one ultrasound would cost us out of pocket. I had calculated that I'd only have to see her with Anthem for those two early appointments, and then by the time I hit 14 weeks we'd have Nate's policy and I'd be due for regular maternity visits and they'd all be covered. If I had only known then what was about to unfold.

If you've been reading my blog since April you know that during that 'out of pocket' ultrasound at 9 weeks we found out the worst news possible. I remember saying to Nate, while we waited for the doctor to come into that wretched ultrasound room, 'What if they want me to have a D&C? That is going to be SO expensive and not covered by this stupid policy!' He reassured me that we'd figure it out and my health was most important but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe somehow I could postpone any interventions at all until June 1, when Nate's policy would cover the surgery. I was just praying to pass the baby naturally, fully, and without the need of any help from my OB. But those prayers were definitely not answered and we began a horrible journey full of many complications.

I remember the day before I went in to finally get the Cytotec placed, to force my body to begin the bleeding it refused to do on it's own. I spoke with our insurance company on the phone and discovered that although our policy did not include maternity coverage, lucky for me it DID include 'pregnancy complications' for coverage. I really felt that God had to be making this happen for us, because there was no way for us to have known that we'd need this little clause in our policy more than ever.

Of course it's never that easy. I had a total of 4 more ultrasounds, medication placement that didn't work, multiple blood draws, a particularly nasty ER visit and hospital stay, then switched to a different OB and finally got the surgery I should have gotten from the beginning. If you are like me, you just read that last sentence and started hearing 'CHA-CHING' in your head as you pictured the enormous bills to follow such a complex course of care. But hey, lucky for me my policy covered 'pregnancy complications,' right? Ha.

As the bills started rolling in, we noticed that not one dime was covered by Anthem. And the grand total for the entire nightmare? Brace yourselves: $17,000.


I knew in my heart that we should not be responsible for these bills. I knew that our policy clearly stated they cover miscarriage, and 'therapeutic abortions' (don't even get me started on this term for a D&C). I had the policy itself circled, highlighted, and practically memorized. And so I began to call Anthem at least twice per week for months. Every time I spoke to a rep, I tried my hardest to ask questions and get answers. And every time I felt like I was banging my head into a wall. They kept telling me that the diagnosis code used by my doctors was not covered under my policy. They would not TELL me what the freaking code was, so I had to talk to my OB's office a few times to figure it out, and after discovering that it was 'missed abortion' I felt more disgusted than ever. I mean, really? The 'A-word?' Talk about a shock to my heart--as if I purposely chose to lose this baby.

I did more research and discovered that there is NOT a code for 'miscarriage' as that isn't the technical medical term. The doctor's offices were using the correct code, then (as sad as the word was to me)----but my insurance still wasn't budging. There were even more phone calls to them, including one time when I couldn't take it anymore and just burst into tears saying something about 'Please stop treating me like I'm a number or a code---I just lost a baby should not be paying for thousands of dollars in bills, according to your stupid policy!' Not my finest moment but there just aren't words to describe the sadness and stress of paying hard-earned money for the loss of a child. It's one thing to pay for the birth of a child. But it's quite another to come home empty handed, with a broken heart, and more bills than I could have imagined.

There were definitely times during this struggle with Anthem when I really felt like giving up because I just wanted to move on with my life. Most all of the doctor's offices and hospitals had 'self pay' policies for patients who don't have insurance, and if mine wasn't paying a dime I could probably qualify for those discounts (which were only about 25% at the most, by the way). So we figured that if Anthem really didn't pay we were looking at about $13,000 or so out of our pockets. Technically we could pay this giant sum but only because we've been working so hard for the past four years to save up a 'down payment fund' for our first home. I realize that not everyone would be able to even fathom paying this amount of money and it might set some families back by years. Of course I'm extremely grateful for our financial situation, but that money was not supposed to go towards a loss of a baby. Especially not when our policy clearly stated, in black and white, that they'd have our backs in this case. And isn't this type of 'catastrophe' exactly why we wanted medical insurance? To cover us during a horrible, unplanned event? The more I thought about that idea, the more angry I got with Anthem and I refused to go down without a major fight.

I sat down and created a huge Excel spreadsheet with every single claim listed, so that I could keep track of everything. I documented every single call I made to Anthem and the doctor's billing offices. I asked to speak to supervisors and I tried to remain calm. I had already written a formal 'grievance letter' back in May, after one of my calls to Anthem's fabulous customer service department lead me to believe that would be the only way I could dispute my bills. I didn't really think too much about this letter, since I thought it would take months of ambiguous decisions made by faceless people behind the scenes. I really preferred to speak to someone in person about this issue because I believed that would be my way to convince them all that I was right. But finally, I asked my husband to take over calling Anthem for me because I could no longer mentally handle the stress of dealing with them. He agreed when he saw I was teetering on the verge of yet another breakdown.

And two things happened: First, we got a letter in the mail stating that my grievance letter had been reviewed by a committee and they thanked me for bringing my case to their attention (gee, three months after I wrote the darn thing). They said that they were reversing their decision to reject my claims, and agreed that everything should be covered under their policy. HALLE-freaking-LUJAH!!! And secondly, my husband can be a badass when we wants. When he called Anthem for his first time, he simply told the lady that he would not get off the phone until she personally figured out how to fix this problem, since she admitted that she was confused about why everything was being rejected. Turns out that our policy is basically the only one they have that covers pregnancy complications. Nearly every other policy does not cover them and therefore the computer automatically rejected my claims, because almost all of the time they don't cover 'missed abortions'. And it only took four months for them to figure that out, you guys. Nobody in the dozens of calls I had made before bothered to really look at the problem and figure out they needed to manually override the computer system. It wasn't the doctor's office using the wrong code---it was the insurance company not recognizing a correct code.

Even though we still have a 5k deductible to hit before Anthem really does pay for claims, it's amazing to me how each bill has been drastically reduced because we now have insurance 'covering' the claims. For instance, the total bill for the ER visit and brief hospital stay was almost $7,000 before insurance. And after the bills were 'adjusted' for allowable claims? Only $2,200 will be paid by us, going towards our deductible. Isn't that just insane? That doesn't mean that our insurance paid the difference (because they didn't pay any part of it), but the hospital just had to eat the rest of the total cost that nobody is paying. I could go on and on about how messed up insurance coverage is in America today but this is already ridonkulously long.

And according to my most recent calculations, after everything has been re-processed, I think we will pay the deductible and that is about it. We'll still need to recover financially from this big hit on our savings but nothing like what it could have been if we didn't fight for our coverage. Although I really considered giving up the fight just to move away from the pain much more quickly, I'm so glad we stuck by our guns. And I'm so glad my grievance letter worked---it must have been the two glasses of wine I downed while typing it. Oh, and of course my heroic husband's phone call didn't hurt, either.

If you made it through this whole post, I commend you. I guess I just had a lot of pent up thoughts and stories about this process. And I just want you to know that if you are banging your head against a wall with your insurance company you are not alone. But stay strong, go through whatever formal processes they suggest for a grievance, and keep meticulous records of all bills and all interactions on the phone.

This whole craptastic situation is yet another reason why I'd consider moving to Canada, if it weren't for the pesky fact that it's even further north than Milwaukee (and therefore colder, and past my limit of frigid weather). Not only do my lovely Canadian friends get a whole year of paid maternity leave, but they also wouldn't be paying a dime for this stupid fiasco. Love ya girls, but SO jealous right now.

Suffering a miscarriage is bad enough for anyone and I'd never wish it on my worst enemy. Throw a little financial drama into the emotional mix and you have a recipe for a serious breakdown. Just ask Nate---he's seen the effects first hand and it wasn't pretty. But I suppose it taught us a lesson in persistence and if we are EVER in this type of situation again, I'm having Nate make all of the calls from day one:)


  1. This whole post just absolutely disgusts me. How can an insurance company put someone who just suffered the loss of a child through this? I think they should end up paying you for all the damn trouble and further heartache they put you guys through. And a whole year of paid maternity leave? Uh what? Want to be Canadian neighbors???

  2. Oh my gosh, Julia, I can't imagine the stress, anxiety, sadness and everything else this has caused your family. I think you are so brave for publicly "walking through the pain" and sharing not only your emotional story, but the tactical steps that helped you through this situation. I'm terribly sorry this entire situation happened to you but am glad to see things (kind of) working on the insurance end. I could also go on and on about our health insurance system in this country... ugh. I'm glad you're healthy and have the resilience to keep moving forward. I'm rooting for you.

  3. Daaaaa-yummm Julia, this is a horrible story with thankfully a semi-ok outcome. Insurance really is so important, and SO CONFUSING, no matter what policy you have. I feel like we often don't pay enough attention.... and probably pay too much as a result, but it's not even CLOSE to what you have to deal with and obviously hasn't been regarding such a negative experience either.

    I know my sis-in-law's preemies had bills in excess of $1 million... and they paid ZERO. ZERO! With not even any back and forth with insurance companies. That is RARE and they are so thankful for it after all they've been through.

  4. As I think you know, this was my industry before I decided to stay home. I spent most of my time on the employer side in consulting, but did work for an HMO for a time and I can tell you that this happens ALL THE TIME. They pretty much bank on the fact that people aren't smart enough to figure these policies out (which, neither are they) and most people will just suck it up and pay. Or ditch out on the bills and screw their doctors. MAJOR KUDOS to you for taking control of the situation and making them pay. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, Julia.

  5. What a relief that Anthem will "cover" what they said they would. I can't imagine the headache and heartache associated with it - good for you to sticking to your guns!

    One question - why won't Anthem pay the balance? And why does insurance have to be so dang difficult?!

    Relieved for you!

  6. I am so very angry for you. I hated the fact that we had to pay our whole deductible plus some for losing our baby, but it's not even close to what you paid, or what you went through to get it done. And, at a time when everything is already horrible, and painful, to have to deal with all of this is just horrendous. I am glad they finally gave in, but you shouldn't have had to go through it (any of it) in the first place. I agree that insurance is beyond screwy in this country, but that's a whole other paragraph.

  7. Steel Magnolia---I guess I was rushing through my post at the end since it was WAY too long, and didn't really explain the breakdown well.

    But because insurance companies only 'allow' certain amounts for each procedure, the doctors will say that something costs $300 but the insurance only allows up to $150 for that procedure. So then the insurance says, 'okay---$150 then' and the patient has to pay that to meet their deductible. It's really weird and horrible, actually, because if we didn't have insurance we'd have to pay the $300 when the doctor's office knows they only get paid $150 for the darn procedure anyway. Does that even make sense?

    It's one of the reasons why health insurance is so jacked in the grand US of A----providers raising prices so that they get paid the amount they really want, knowing that the total is exceeding what is allowed.

    And Sarah---I think I was too scared to ditch out on the bills, thinking that the doctors would send us to a collection agency and our credit would be totally screwed up. I was nervous about that anyway, since we had to wait for so many months to get this cleared up and I kept calling the billing offices to tell them we just needed more time, and please don't ruin our credit. Luckily they were pretty understanding since like you said, this happens all the time!!

  8. Holy crap, girl, I remember the whole situation as it unfolded but to see it all written here I just feel so horrible again that you went through all that!!

    Thank GOD it all worked out and you only owed the deductible. Time to move on from this whole stupid mess - onto better and much happier things!

  9. I went through a "missed miscarriage" (my body wouldn't naturally miscarry) in July and had to have a D&C on 7/18. The bills are just started to come in and I am SHOCKED at the amounts - all in all I believe we are now around $12,000. I am so thankful for our insurance, but unfortunately we also have a high deductible ($3k) and it is just killing me to pay that much and not have a baby in the end. I am devastated everytime I go to the mailbox and see yet another bill roll in. Keeping you and your family in my prayers as I know this a very tough time for you.

    My best,
    Stephanie in Colorado

  10. Holy mother of God. This is like my worst nightmare. I absolutely hate, hate, HATE insurance companies, and dealing with them. I was in a car accident in June (um literally a week before I was supposed to drive from the great state of Missouri to move to Connecticut) and my car is just now being fixed. RAGE. I am on COBRA right now for health insurance and that hasn't exactly been a treat either. I feel like the insurance system is one of America's biggest shortcomings.

  11. Thank God you are tenacious. I can't imagine the awfulness you have endured because of all of this. Ugggg...I am so sorry. I hope that now things will become a lot more peaceful in your world. If nothing else, it will allow you more time to house hunt or blog!!

  12. I too, have dreamnt of moving to Canada for the paid maternity leave and hospital expenses. The healthcare system in this country is atrocious. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this nonsense. Thank God you finally got a positive outcome in the end.

  13. That is just total bs. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I mean, i understand as my familiy has had to deal with this crap after my grandma and my BIL died. It's sad the world we live in.

    I had to deal with a 13,000 bill i got in the mail from Brady's four day in teh NICU and i felt every ounce of my blood stop, lol. What is so messed up about that is that luckily they did end up covering it but the insurance co only ended up paying 7,000. It sickens me.

    The worst part is I guarantee you many people DO NOT fight it and end up stuck paying that crap.

  14. ps. i'm already game for moving to canada. Cold or not. The whole year of maternity and this aspect...i'm ready!!!!

  15. This story was frustrating to read, I can only imagine how frustrating it was to live through it. Way to stick to your guns!!

  16. everything about this post makes me just want to shudder. Not being able to call it a miscarriage, to the countless phone calls and issues with the insurance company and the toll it took on you and your family during an already hard time. I am appalled and really saddened and reminds me how important health insurance is. thank you for being honest!

  17. ugh! what a pain! I went through a similar insurance nightmare when I had the surgeries earlier this year. When my claim went through it said it wasnt going to be covered and I would have to pay over 20k! After a couple phone calls, it was fixed and I only owe $150. What the heck? Why can't these people get it together and figure these claims out? As annoying and exhausting as it is to call these stupid insurance companies, it seems like that is the only thing you can do to protect yourself and make sure you are getting the right coverage! I'm sorry it took so much correspondence for you though - the worst. Onward!

  18. I made it through the whole post, and I want to tell you that I'm sorry that you had to go through that! What a PITA!!! KUDOS to you guys for sticking to your guns!

  19. We want to move to Canada as well. They have a year paid maternity coverage... whaaat!

    Anyway, so sorry for the stress you were dealing with. I am so glad it worked out for the better.

  20. Julia, this is absolutely horrifying. I cannot imagine the stress and heartache it caused. And the medical code for it all? Ugh, breaks my heart. I'm so glad you were able to persist and make them stick to their word. Prayers that this will truly be behind you now.

  21. I'm so sorry Julia. My mom lost a baby during delivery before I was born, and she's told me in the past about the bills that rolled in, and how devastating they were. I can't even imagine.

    I'm just really stinking sorry that this is even something you have to THINK about!

  22. Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through this. I can't even imagine how stressful that must have been for you guys. You are such a strong lady and I am so glad things ended up working out for you!!

  23. Julia~

    Glad you stuck with it, and yes I have been in your shoes, not for a miscarriage, but for a "personal" plan and them not paying the bills and using screwed up codes. It was like a full-time job to be calling BCBS all the time.

    Just think now that it has come to an end, you can start a new track and get to thinking about adding a sibling for T.

  24. First of all, I'm so frustrated and sorry for you having to go through this. I'm a long-time reader.

    Second, lots of places in Canada are warmer than Milwaukee, including Toronto and Vancouver, 2 of the top 10 'most livable' cities in the world, according to a recent survey by 'The Economist' mag.

    Third, you only get 80% of your salary when you're off for a year, but that's certainly not too bad.

    Fourth, you would never have to worry about the cost of such a terrible trauma if you lived in Canada.

    Fifth, I have houses for sale in my neighbourhood, so contact me! Canada's a great place to live!

  25. Until recently my husband owned his own company. Private insurance costs us a fortune and never covered anything. When something was covered, we still ended up paying out of pocket because our deductible hadn't been met yet. It was horrible. Recently he went to work for a big company. To my surprise, they have HORRIBLE insurance. We had really hoped they would offer something better. Instead, it's a terrible limited medical policy.
    So sorry to hear about you miscarriage. Prayers for you and yours.

  26. Wow, you have had a ridiculous year so far; I hope it gets better. I can’t believe those representatives were so careless about trying to figure out the actual mistake, and all the while, you’re about to pull your hair out and have a breakdown—the nerve of some people.

  27. Wow... I can't even imagine, Julia. Every time I hear a horror story on a blog about crazy hospital fees or the ridiculously small amount of maternity leave you have in the US, it makes me want to go hug my napping baby because I'm so thankful that I've gotten to see almost every smile, hear almost every laugh, and be there for him for almost every cry. Not to mention the $0 that his c-section, shots, and couple of emergency visits cost us.

    You are one tough cookie and I'm so happy it all worked out for you, financially speaking. I really can't believe the people who work for these companies that do such horrible things to good people who are already going through hell.

  28. That is insane and our healthcare system is a joke. I sm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of your loss.

    I really wish the U.S. would get with the program. A year of maternity leave in Canada PAID? Wow. How sad for us that some only get 6 weeks UNPAID. Ugh. And the cost of insurance?? I'm pregnant now and would love to take a year or so off, but I really don't think I can afford to...not because of income as much as for the insurance (although it would be a hit financially either way- and YEAH I'd love a year off PAID), but I carry the insurance and I don't feel I have a choice. I've heard CObra is insanely expensive and I'd have no other choice. :(

    Anyway, yeah...made me so mad to read your post! I hate how frustrating it is dealing with people like that (how does NOBODY know their own friggin policies???). UGH! So glad you fought!!

  29. Ugh, Julia. How absolutely awful! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. All of it. The emotional pain, the physical pain and unfortunately the financial pain.

    It makes sick reading this. No woman should ever be forced to go through the process of losing a baby and then losing all their savings! I'm so glad you didn't have to but still - somebody needs to get this insurance crap together already.

    Also, Nate sounds like good people. Seems like a no BS kind of guy and that is a lot like my husband. I'm so glad he helped you :)

  30. I totally believe what Sarah said about insurance companies hoping customers will just pay bills without questioning them. Good for you and Nate for sticking to your guns! You should not have had to go through that in the first place. Infuriates me!

    I once got a bill for a doctor's visit that I knew was covered. I ended up going back and forth with the insurance until we figured out that the doctors office used the wrong code. If I wouldn't have questioned it, I would have paid a bill that I shouldn't have.

    And I'm so with you on the jealousy of Canada (many European countries have long maternity leaves too). Our country is messed up in so many ways, but I will stop there before I go on a tangent. LOL!

  31. What a load of shit. Pardon my french but this post just pisses me off. I just posted on the board about another stupid situation with insurance. I can't understand it, it's so jacked up and horrid. I'm SO so sorry you had to deal with this.

  32. I'm so sorry Julia! I can't imagine having to deal with all of that on top of your loss. I was also disgusted about having to pay a few thousand dollars and not have a baby to show for it. But you did the right thing and stuck to your guns. I work in insurance (NOT health insurance), and I never would, I couldn't imagine being placed in such a position. Sending love!

  33. Wow. This is so sad and frustrating. And it speaks volumes about our current health care glad that you and your husband were able to sort most of this out. Wishing you much more peaceful days ahead!

  34. I see! Thank you for explaining. How janked up is that?!

  35. I sat here with my mouth hanging open as I read this entire post. I'm aghast and if I didn't already know it, you're one tough cookie.

  36. Hi,
    I read your post and I am shocked about what happens in the United States. I live in Vancouver, BC, Canada and have been dealing with doctor visits, blood tests, and ultrasounds for an ectopic pregnancy. My doctor referred me for an ultrasound for spotting and cramping and we found out the baby was ectopic. Then we went to the hospital for a consult, more ultrasounds, more blood tests, and am currently in touch with an outpatient clinic.

    Through all of us I have not thought about the cost. I had over my health carecard which is covered through where I work and then that's it. There is no bills and no expense. I have extended medical and dental policy coverage through my work which covers everything from massage, acupuncture, to doctor visits etc. We cancelled a vacation during the aftermath of the miscarriage to Oregon because our doctors said if anything happened that its safer to be in Canada where we know we don't pay out of pocket and if we went to Oregon it would cost $1000s of dollars. I am glad we took the advice.

    In addition when I found out I was pregnant I spoke to our HR at work who indicated that I get 1 year mat leave paid at 85% of my current salary (55% or so government maternity benefits then 30% or so top up from my company for that time) plus vacation benefit accumulation and full medical benefits during that time. If I chose I could split this with my husband who could take paternity leave for 3 to 6 months and would be the same amount of what I am getting.

    I think we would be bankrupt if we had to pay medical costs out of pocket.

    I am really sorry about what you went through. I don't think I could handle it after what has happened and I admire you are courage and strength!

    BTW... I live in Vancouver, it rarely gets cold, just lots of rain.

  37. Julia... I have also been through a miscarriage and I know right now you feel like everything around you is falling apart, but I look at my children that are with me and I think I am the luckiest person on the planet. The emotional stress does get better, the insurance situation does get better, and joy comes again when you least expect it. When I miscarried My husband was deployed in Afghanistan. He was so excited and so was I... We both felt like we needed eachother and yet we were miles from eachother. When he got back we unexpectedly got pregnant again.... and now I could not imagine life without this other blessing... It is amazing how things really do work out. I am praying for you...
    Truman is such a little doll! What a blessing!

  38. Ugh, this post is so frustrating to read, Julia. Luckily, I knew the outcome so my head didn't explode from anger.

    I may have told you this but I worked on the insurance side of the world after college and it's no easier over there. I dealt with COBRA participants [people who had to pay full premiums after losing or quitting a about some unhappy people!] and it was just as frustrating for me. I had to call insurance companies and speak on their behalf and it was a HEADACHE to get through to anyone who was helpful. I had to constantly be the bearer of bad news for so many people and there was nothing I could do about it. I hated insurance companies and to this day that was my worst job ever. It's just a industry we unfortunately have to deal with and it's people like you and Nate who make me proud for standing up to those bullies.

    And your comment about "stop treating me like a number" totally got to me. Ain't that the truth? Those reps need to hear that more often.

  39. Can you imagine the amount of money insurance companies 'make' by rejecting perfectly legitimate claims. The average person doesn't have the time/patience to deal with insurance companies so they end up paying rather than fighting for coverage. I'm sure those incidental 'rejected claims' add up to quite a bit at the end of the year...nevermind the huge claims that they wrongly reject.

    I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

  40. Julia - I've followed your blog for some time now and I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I'm even more grateful to live in Toronto, Canada after reading about all the trouble you've had with your insurance company . I'm currently on maternity leave and, you're right -- Canadians have the right to take a full year of leave from their jobs and the government provides benefits during that period (not much mind you -- only up to a maximum amount of approx. $420/week)! My husband and I decided to use a midwife throughout our pregnancy and delivery and didn't have to pay a penny for their services or our hospital stay (the government also gives us the option of using a midwife instead of a doctor during pregnancy and covers those costs).

  41. It is definitely horrible losing a baby, recovering mentally and physically and then having to deal with doctor/hospital bills, I can relate. We had to pay over $2000 ourselves and I miscarried naturally at home, no one even had to do anything for me. My husband said medical service should be like car service, if they actually FIX something, then you should pay, but if they don't, you don't.

    And in my situation my OB, who I had for 17 years, treated me like crap, not reading my chart when I went in and making me tell my story over and over. I left in tears many times and haven't gone back to them since. The personal care has gone out the window and it's a shame we've all become just dollar signs to them.

    I'm sorry you had to deal with this, what a nightmare! Lots of love to you guys. :)


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