Truman is three whole weeks old now, you guys. I tried to demand that he stops growing but he hasn't listened to me and in fact, he is chunking out like a little porker. I am not kidding when I said the quote of the week to Nate the other day: "When in doubt, put this kid to the boob and all is well in his world again." If I can't figure out what's wrong with him nursing ALWAYS helps no matter what.
I'm glad we have that tool to use when necessary....he's always hungry and I oblige feeding little man when he demands, and since he's visibly gaining weight like a champ I know breastfeeding is working well for him. For me, however? A few issues on my side:
I called our Lactation Consultant and asked her about my lopsidedness hoping that she'd say it will even back out once I'm done breastfeeding but she could not promise me that. I know it's incredibly vain to say but I really don't want one A cup and one B/C cup for the rest of my life. I mean, I have pancake boobs normally anyway. Isn't that enough of a cross to bear on my chest? Do I really have to have one 'normal' size and one small one from here on out? I sure hope not and I found a few ideas online to help even out the sides. We'll see if they work or else I'll be walking around with my right shoulder hunched over from the sheer weight of big-ol-boobie. Attractive! I know I'm being shallow and superficial right now but I can't help it.
Then on Monday night I started to feel really crappy. My body was aching, I had the chills, a headache, and could not get comfortable. I chalked it up to just being overly tired at first but my temp was 100.2 and then I noticed my right boob (the big guy) was really sore and red and hard. GREAT! Sounds like a nice little case of mastitis to me! I called my doc and they agree that it sounds like a textbook case, so I am going to start antibiotics today. There is absolutely nothing like being so incredibly tired plus being sick with a fever and painful boob. It totally blows and caused me to have a legitimate breakdown last night to Nate. I think it's just the combination of everything and the fact that Truman is a good baby but I still feel exhausted and question my parenting skills all of the time. I know we are just doing our best but I can't help but feel down when I am physically ill and completely exhausted. Here's to the antibiotics working, me taking more naps throughout the day, and being grateful that Nate is home with me this week.
Besides a little case of mastitis, I had another little episode on Monday besides that. I had a dentists appointment (no cavities, despite the fact that I can barely recall if I've brushed my teeth most days!) and had a little episode before I left. The garage door wouldn't shut and we have our BOB in there, so I really wanted it to close before I left. Nate was also leaving at the same time and had Truman with him, so I called him as he pulled away in his car and he suggested that I use the remote and also pull the door down at the same time. I tried that but it didn't work and I was getting flustered because I was already late and just wanted to get it over with. So I went into the garage and pulled the rope to get the door moving, not knowing that this disengages the automatic feature of the door and makes it slam down quickly with gravity. I saw that it started moving REALLY fast and in a split second I made a break for it to squeeze under the door in time. I made it but got very off balance while sprinting and squatting down to avoid decapitation, and somehow I did the 'feet can't catch up to my head' fall technique and ended up sprawled out on our driveway like a total moron. I skinned up my left hand and hit my hip, right boob (big-ol-boobie!) and head on the way down. I was fine, mostly just embarrassed but luckily nobody saw me, and just had a bloody hand when I finally got to the dentist. I have a headache but with my fever it's hard to tell what is causing my symptoms now--the fall or the mastitis. Good times, I tell you!
One more thing about me, and then let's move on to the birthday boy, okay? On Sunday I had the most productive day of my entire maternity leave thus far. I packed up two baby shower gifts, went through my entire closet and our storage clothes and packed away all of my maternity clothes, wrote thank you notes, and also cared for my son:) I swear, getting a few things done makes me feel so much better! And I briefly tried to put on my old jeans but before I tried to button them up I aborted the mission, knowing they were not going to fit and it would just tick me off. But for now I have all of my old pants ready to go for that day when I feel brave enough again:) It's nice to have regular tops accessible, too, because although I loved being pregnant maternity clothes are not flattering on a postpartum body. See ya next time, maternity wardrobe!
Truman is definitely more awake since last week and is still mostly content when he wants to be:) He will push it sometimes and try to stay awake WAY too long and then he gets grumpy and the only thing that works to soothe him is nursing. It's fun to see him much more alert and he's definitely able to stare up into our faces now which totally melts my heart. His silly umbilical cord is STILL on, but I really mean it this time when I say it will probably fall off in a day or two. I cannot wait to try cloth diapering and also to give the boy a real bath so it really can't happen soon enough in my opinion. But besides that I cannot believe how big my baby boy is getting and with his growth, he's getting even cuter every day (biased opinion, I know).
Finally, I received a forwarded email yesterday that made me sob like a baby and put things all into perspective. You may have seen this before but if not, I suggest you go and watch the video and be prepared to ball your eyes out (especially if you have a sons). The gift of an ordinary day is a beautiful little video and I hope you enjoy!