Two weeks postpartum

Two weeks since I birthed my son. In many ways that feels like a dream, another lifetime, and a distant memory already. But then again the days just seem to fly by before I have time to do much at all besides nurse Truman, change his diaper, and stare at him in admiration. They weren't lying when they said being a new mommy is a full time job! :)

I'm trying with all of my might to be present in the moment, enjoying every second I have on my maternity leave. I know these will be the days I look back on and smile, remembering how special it was to spend them with my man. No matter how exhausted I am, or how frustrated and self-doubting I start to get, this is absolutely worth it. It's the hardest and most important job I've ever had and I can't help but get a little emotional when I think of being Truman's mommy.

I think that a lot of my anxiety is diminishing with the passing of time because I don't feel the need to constantly check to see if he's breathing anymore and I feel a little more at ease when he makes a peep during his sleep. A large part of this change in my mindset has to do with Nate---he is so amazing with Truman, you guys. He doesn't get easily rattled and always seems to know what to do when he cries. I absolutely loved having him home with us over the weekend and hope that I can continue to feel at ease without him here during the week.

But I will say that on Sunday night, we had our first 'rough' night as a little family. Truman has been so great to us with his sleeping patterns since day one that we've definitely gotten a little bit spoiled. Usually he will fall right to sleep after I nurse him with only a little bit of comforting needed by me. Well on Sunday night, he just could not get comfortable and was up most of the night grunting, wiggling around, and looking generally unhappy. He didn't scream and cry, so it could have been much much worse, but it was still really hard on me to see my guy so tired and yet unable to fall asleep. My gut told me that he was trying to work out some gas and although I tried to burp him I was largely unsuccessful---which in turn, made me feel like a failure mom. Being sleep deprived does crazy things to your mind and when you mix in a few raging hormones postpartum you definitely have a recipe for a breakdown. We somehow got through the night and Truman and I ended up staying in bed until 12:30 that afternoon just to recover from the lack of sleep (of course, we didn't sleep longer than a 2 hour stretch that whole time but it was still nice to regain some rest after such a night).

The next day I googled 'burping a baby' to death and feel a little more confident with my burping skills--when I get him to urp a big one I practically want to give him a fist pound I'm so relieved. Truman has definitely been more awake in the past week which is awesome because we get to interact much more. He's still mostly content when he's awake just staring around at the lights and looking cute. But I'm pretty sure he's awake so much that he gets a little overtired at times so we're working on ways to get him to calm down and go to sleep. Again, obviously I knew these times were coming with a newborn but I'm hoping he gets back to his typical 'calming myself' routine soon! :) I didn't have to pull out the mommy tricks before, or investigate which techniques soothe my baby at certain times---but let the games begin.

As far as my recovery goes, my bleeding is SO might lighter now and I'm definitely a lot more comfortable after another week under my belt. In fact, I've been getting out for walks with the nicer weather and was even able to make it three blocks without feeling too awful, and without my flow increasing too much. My goal is to get outside for a walk at least once a day--either with the stroller or Baby Bjorn--to juggle both Henry and Truman while getting fresh air. That in combination with my goal to take at least one nap per day really helps my energy level and sanity:) I am pretty sure I'm healing well down there and my increased activity feels good instead of totally sucking it out of me. I even got brave enough to start doing Kegels again and my bathroom routine is becoming second nature instead of a jarring experience altogether. I'm down to just the squirt bottle and a light pad. See ya, other recovery paraphernalia!

My boobs are still crazy big and the funny thing is that my right one is significantly larger than my left for some reason. Maybe it just makes more milk or something but I'm really hoping that I'm not permanently lopsided for life. Nate says he can't notice a difference but I definitely can because old rightie is practically hanging to my belly button while leftie is nice and high (slight exaggeration but you get the idea). Overall, breastfeeding is still going well and little man is filling his diaper accordingly so I'm assuming he's getting enough from the old milkers still. He's eating really frequently and tends to stay latched for longer now which I'm sure is a good sign, too. But boy, oh boy--I can see why new moms feel like human pacifiers sometimes. When he nurses for 45 minutes and every 1.5 hours I basically have him attached to my boob at all times. I know it won't be like this forever and honestly, I don't mind it much during the day. I would be just fine if he'd let it go for 3 hours at night, though. He used to do that last week but now? Not so much.

I want to start pumping a bit on the side to increase my supply, start storing milk for Nate and my in-laws to give bottles, and start storing up for when I return to work. For some reason pumping just freaks me out and I've tried a few times with only DROPS for results. I have a hard time figuring out when to pump because I don't want to take away from Truman but after a feeding he really sucks me dry and I have no luck (hence the drops I get after he feeds). I think if he only takes one side I'll be fine pumping the other side but for now he's all over both of the girls most of the time. I've also heard you are supposed to start pumping after the first morning feeding but I tend to count down the seconds when I can jump in the shower after that feeding and down my cup of coffee before he needs to feed again. Ah, the joys of breastfeeding....such a crazy and amazing process. Any tips for pumping while breastfeeding welcome!

Then there is my stomach, and guess what? My ab muscles are making a comeback no matter how puny of an effort! I noticed the other day when I laughed that my tummy actually firmed up a bit instead of just jiggling around in defiance. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from having rock hard abs but at least there is SOME sort of progress going on and it's less mushy to touch. Let's look, shall we?
preandpostpartum
I can really only tell a difference at the top of my stomach near my rib cage--that's definitely smaller, but my lower abs aren't that different just yet. But I think I'm getting my chin and cheeks back...score for me for shedding the double chin look!

I think I will hold off on taking another photo until 6 weeks postpartum to see if there is any real difference. For now I think I'm still just shedding water weight and not true fat but I'll take whatever I can get at this point. I mean, heck, I'm able to wear my real wedding rings again and not my bigger fake set so we are getting somewhere! I weighed myself and am down another 5 pounds, which makes my total weight loss 26 pounds from my 43 I gained during pregnancy. That means I only have 17 pounds to go, people. I'm so glad I don't have 30+ of true fatty tissue hanging around because 17 seems a lot more doable. Can't wait until I can actually start running again....in fact, I'm pretty sure both Nate and I are going to sign up for a half marathon on Halloween weekend. Eek! Cannot wait.

As a final random note, does anyone know if one of the side-effects of postpartum hormones is insane night sweats? Because holy hell I am drenched when I wake up in the middle of the night then I get really cold as the sweat dries. Then again, Nate is also complaining of night sweats lately so maybe we just turned up our heat too high to keep Truman warm. Before he arrived we kept the place at a chilly 62 degrees so we knew we'd have to suck it up and crank the heat for baby boy....perhaps we overdid it at 65 degrees:) You wonder why we always have a hat and swaddle blanket on the boy? Because his parents are too cheap to have the duplex properly heated, of course.

So overall, I'm doing well 2 weeks postpartum-both mentally and physically. I'm definitely more tired than I've ever been in my whole life but it's really not that bad. It's amazing how little sleep your body needs when there's a little baby in your life.

26 comments:

  1. Wow, if I didn't know you just had a baby 2 weeks ago, well, I wouldn't know. :) You look awesome! Night sweats are perfectly normal. I don't have kids but my sister-in-law had to change her sheets every morning for the first few weeks. She said it took her 6 to 8 weeks for her hormones to level out.

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  2. You look great!!!! Those last 17 pounds will come off very quickly with the BF'ing and once you can start working out again.

    Yes, night sweats are VERY common! I still have them from time-to-time and Carter is 7 months old. It is the hormones for sure. So don't worry...it will get better.
    -Krista

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  3. You look freakin fantastic! I love hearing about you guys and how you are doing. :)

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  4. I am learning so much by reading your blog. First of all, you look awesome. I am sure that you are going to be back to your pre-baby body in no time (although I must say that you look FABULOUS right now!). I can't really help you with BF'ing suggestions but I am just shocked that you keep your house SO COLD! Our house is always set on 70 and I feel like I might die when Mike sets it to 68! You are brave!

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  5. You look fantastic - you will surely bounce back quickly!

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  6. You look awesome for having a baby only 2 weeks ago! We keep our house really cold too...most people think that's really weird but we both hate being hot! I bet by your next postpartum post you'll be back to your pre preg weight AND running again. I just started running again so I'm really excited for your training posts to make their post-baby return!

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  7. First you look great and the baby is darling at the top of the blog. I totally sweated like crazy for the first month or so and then it calmed down, but I still notice it when Im on my period I never had that before my kids. I also shed like crazy I would brush my hair and big clumps would come out, my dr. said it was normal hormonal changes causing this and it did stop. I love reading you updates and seeing the little man all cute!

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  9. First, regarding pumping. I totally get the need for a shower, but the first feeding really is the best time to pump. My routine is this - morning feeding, change Isaac, set him in his crib so he can stretch out and watch the crib soother while I pump, put him in the bouncer in the bathroom while I shower and have breakfast and he sleeps, then it's usually time to eat again. It only takes me 15 minutes to pump now, and that includes set up and clean up. It took longer at first, but my body is used to it now so its quick. And even if you only get a few drops the first few times, keep at it. Your body will adjust and start to produce more.

    And the night sweats are totally normal. I would wake up drenched too which was so weird for me cause I'm so cold natured. But it gets better!!

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  10. You look amazing for having a baby just two short weeks ago! I hope I bounce back that fast after I'm preganant.

    Oh, and Truman is freaking adorable!

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  11. I definitely had night sweats after having my son Henry- its one of those symptoms no one tells you about I guess! Mine went away after a couple of weeks.

    As for pumping and breast-feeding- I know some women that stored up a bunch of breast milk during the first couple weeks, but my baby ate A LOT from the very beginning so it didnt seem like there was much leftover to pump. But my doc said it was a good idea to start giving him a bottle every now and then once he had BF down so he could get use to it too- so I would pump first thing in the morning when I was most full (just one boob- I saved the other for the baby!) and then my husband would give him the bottle later if he needed it and I wasnt producing enough. That way you are not "taking" any milk the baby needs- and once you start pumping regularly your body should start producing more to keep up. Also, once your little guy sleeps a little longer at night you will probably wake up uncomfortably full and need to pump!! Hope that helps- good luck!

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  12. Thanks for the update- you look and sound like you're doing awesome!

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  13. wow, i learn SO MUCH when i read your blog! it's crazy and i love it! thanks for being so honest and upfront about pregnancy and the recovery!

    truman is so handsome!!

    p.s. my husband and i also keep our apartment SUPER COLD. we keep it around 60...if it gets too cold we just plug in the space heater. too cheap to properly heat! :)

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  14. You look great! Like so many others have said, you can't even tell you had a baby just two weeks ago! Can I just add that I'm super jealous? I had my daughter just over a year ago and am still fighting for my pre-baby bod! (Of course, I've only just recently started REALLY working out.) You are definitely an inspiration for me. I am not much of a runner, but I am trying to add a little during our daily walks to the gym and back.

    Don't worry about the night sweats. They're totally normal and will go away- I think it took 2-3 months for mine to stop altogether. Just think of it as another way your body's getting rid of more excess fluid! BONUS!

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  15. It sounds like you're doing great! I too was trying to build up a stash and pumped after almost every daytime feeding. After a fews days of this, I was losing my mind- especially since I would get only a few drops each time. A baby eating every 2 hours + frequent pumping = no time to breath! Once I chilled out a bit and realized I didn't have to pump 6 times/day it helped immensely. I ended up doing one after morning feeding and one or two throughout the day. Another thing that helped was after about 2 weeks we bought formula and used it in combination with the breast milk for one feeding at night so my husband could help. Though I was so against formula at first and thought I would be going to "mommy hell", it helped immensely. It took pressure off of me to pump so much and allowed me to get some much needed rest. My son took it like a champ and we experienced no nipple confusion. Hope that helps...good luck!

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  16. Congrats on Truman! He is so cute.

    The night sweats are totally normal, they continued for me until about 4 months postpartum. And the lopsided boob, again totally normal, you'll find when you start really pumping, the larger one is your big producer.

    And on the pumping thing, I would totally try and pump in the mornings. You'll find that is when you get the most out and when you go back to work, you'll always get the most out in the morning. And go see a lactation consultant to evaluate his latch. I waited too long, my milk supply decreased and it was crazy hard to then get it back up. I wished I had met with a lactation consultant from the beginning every two weeks to establish my supply effectively.

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  17. I love reading your blog, but have only commented once before. A classmate of yours at SLU told me about your blog while I was pregnant, so I have enjoyed reading about your experiences.

    First off, you look fantastic! I just had a baby boy 2 months ago and BFing definitely helped shed baby weight, so don't worry about the weight. Just enjoy your little guy!

    Our pediatrician told us to hold off giving him a bottle until at least 3 weeks, so that he did not get confused, which we did. When I met with the lactation consultant, she said to pump in the morning as that is when you have the most supply. Since nursing was happening every 3 hours or less, I didn't start right away, but now that things have leveled out, it is much easier to do, particularly if you just do it on the weekends to start when your husband can help with the baby while you pump.

    Congrats on your little boy!

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  18. I had my baby 5 days ago. Things I've learned in this short time period -

    Get the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD or find youtubes of Dr Harvey Karp demonstrating his techniques to put a baby to sleep. It is amazing how well it works. I also have SwaddleMe blankets which makes my life easy.

    Make sure your pump is high quality - like Medela or Ameda. Lesser ones often don't apply suction right. I pump after every feeding and am getting about an ounce from each pumping go round. My pump has a control for both suction and speed, so I start off with faster, stronger suction to encourage flow and then switch to slower, softer suction to keep the milk coming. I go until things seem empty since production is based on demand. Also, applying a heating pad before you pump really helps get milk flowing from all the ducts!

    If he has gas, Little Tummy drops really do work.

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  19. Yes, the sweating is ridiculous! You look great! I remember my 17 pounds to go. I went the other way, unfortunately, but you won't.

    Keep forging ahead on BFing -- they have a growth spurt right about now, so I sure that's why he feels constantly attached to you. Gotta fuel that little boy! :)

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  20. I'm glad that so many of you had the sweats, too! and thanks for the advice on pumping. i will try tomorrow am for sure and did it once today and i got a whole ounce! whoo hoo!!

    I read Happiest Baby and watched the dvd while preggo--love those techniques! and we live by swaddle me blankets and I even ordered 2 more from Amazon the other day. LOVE.

    Thanks for all the advice and keep it coming!

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  21. First of all, i haven't been around much and CONGRATS! He is a freaking-dorable. Are you not just in love? It is a lot of work but so worth it times a million. I love him more and more everyday. His newborn pics are precious and you guys are too cute!

    you look great. you look way better than i did prepreo, lol

    Night sweats, ah, i hated those the most pp. They are totlaly normal and totally blow!!!

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  22. Pumping was really hard for me in the beginning too! I found that if I pumped right after she ate (even if I thought I was empty) it worked since milk is based on supply and demand. Now at 2 months she eats on one side and I pump the other. Also, Caroline had a growth spurt at 3 weeks and then went back to a good sleeping routine so look out for that with Truman :)

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  23. I like my shower too, but if I pump it is right after his AM feeding or if I miss a feeding.

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  24. Lookin great, mama!

    I heard about the night sweats, but I never had them, thankfully.

    I'd suggest pumping in place for a feeding here and there to get Truman used to a bottle right from the start. Henry had a rough first week or two with breastfeeding so I had to pump right away - and I think that helped with him getting accustomed to a bottle right away, too.

    re: the post above, he is SO precious, I just can't wait to hold him Saturday. ;)

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  25. So I haven't breastfed (no babies yet), but here's something my best friend swore by - she was having trouble getting the milk to let down when she was pumping while away at school. Her doc suggested she take a video on her cell phone of her wee one nursing, and watch that while she started to pump. The brain is a powerful thing, and it worked!

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  26. I know that this post was written back in March, but I just started reading your blog. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and have spent the past two weeks reading each one of your pregnancy posts. I have laughed and cried, and have learned so much.

    There comes a point in your pregnancy when you can't read books any more, you just want to talk to someone who has been through it and your blog helps with this. Reading your posts from another pregnant lady (back then) has helped so much and made me feel less alone and confused about all of this. I don't have any pregnant friends so it is like I have one while I read (weird, I know).

    I just wanted to let you know how much your blog helps people and how informative, witty and beautiful it is. I have to stop myself soon so that I can save these "after the baby" posts for when I have my baby and can read along with you as I am going through it - but it's hard to stop!

    Thanks again, it is truly been a blessing for me to read and share your experience with you. I have even sent my friends some of your posts so that they know exactly what I'm going through. The kicking video you posted was sent to my husband, and I cannnot wait until we get to experience that.

    You are right, I'm sure it goes by fast, but in the beginning it seems to take forever. I just can't wait for all of this to happen for us, thanks for getting me excited and ready for it!

    I am new to blogging myself but started when we found out also, not knowing other women even did this, and will hopefully keep it up for other women to read in the future too. Our blog is alittleblueberry.com which is hilarious because you called Truman blueberry for a bit too, and it's funny we both picked that fruit.

    Anyway, thanks again, just wanted to let you know someone is still reading these old posts and really enjoying them. :)

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