Three Weeks

Truman is three whole weeks old now, you guys. I tried to demand that he stops growing but he hasn't listened to me and in fact, he is chunking out like a little porker. I am not kidding when I said the quote of the week to Nate the other day: "When in doubt, put this kid to the boob and all is well in his world again." If I can't figure out what's wrong with him nursing ALWAYS helps no matter what.
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I'm glad we have that tool to use when necessary....he's always hungry and I oblige feeding little man when he demands, and since he's visibly gaining weight like a champ I know breastfeeding is working well for him. For me, however? A few issues on my side:

I called our Lactation Consultant and asked her about my lopsidedness hoping that she'd say it will even back out once I'm done breastfeeding but she could not promise me that. I know it's incredibly vain to say but I really don't want one A cup and one B/C cup for the rest of my life. I mean, I have pancake boobs normally anyway. Isn't that enough of a cross to bear on my chest? Do I really have to have one 'normal' size and one small one from here on out? I sure hope not and I found a few ideas online to help even out the sides. We'll see if they work or else I'll be walking around with my right shoulder hunched over from the sheer weight of big-ol-boobie. Attractive! I know I'm being shallow and superficial right now but I can't help it.
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Then on Monday night I started to feel really crappy. My body was aching, I had the chills, a headache, and could not get comfortable. I chalked it up to just being overly tired at first but my temp was 100.2 and then I noticed my right boob (the big guy) was really sore and red and hard. GREAT! Sounds like a nice little case of mastitis to me! I called my doc and they agree that it sounds like a textbook case, so I am going to start antibiotics today. There is absolutely nothing like being so incredibly tired plus being sick with a fever and painful boob. It totally blows and caused me to have a legitimate breakdown last night to Nate. I think it's just the combination of everything and the fact that Truman is a good baby but I still feel exhausted and question my parenting skills all of the time. I know we are just doing our best but I can't help but feel down when I am physically ill and completely exhausted. Here's to the antibiotics working, me taking more naps throughout the day, and being grateful that Nate is home with me this week.
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Besides a little case of mastitis, I had another little episode on Monday besides that. I had a dentists appointment (no cavities, despite the fact that I can barely recall if I've brushed my teeth most days!) and had a little episode before I left. The garage door wouldn't shut and we have our BOB in there, so I really wanted it to close before I left. Nate was also leaving at the same time and had Truman with him, so I called him as he pulled away in his car and he suggested that I use the remote and also pull the door down at the same time. I tried that but it didn't work and I was getting flustered because I was already late and just wanted to get it over with. So I went into the garage and pulled the rope to get the door moving, not knowing that this disengages the automatic feature of the door and makes it slam down quickly with gravity. I saw that it started moving REALLY fast and in a split second I made a break for it to squeeze under the door in time. I made it but got very off balance while sprinting and squatting down to avoid decapitation, and somehow I did the 'feet can't catch up to my head' fall technique and ended up sprawled out on our driveway like a total moron. I skinned up my left hand and hit my hip, right boob (big-ol-boobie!) and head on the way down. I was fine, mostly just embarrassed but luckily nobody saw me, and just had a bloody hand when I finally got to the dentist. I have a headache but with my fever it's hard to tell what is causing my symptoms now--the fall or the mastitis. Good times, I tell you!

One more thing about me, and then let's move on to the birthday boy, okay? On Sunday I had the most productive day of my entire maternity leave thus far. I packed up two baby shower gifts, went through my entire closet and our storage clothes and packed away all of my maternity clothes, wrote thank you notes, and also cared for my son:) I swear, getting a few things done makes me feel so much better! And I briefly tried to put on my old jeans but before I tried to button them up I aborted the mission, knowing they were not going to fit and it would just tick me off. But for now I have all of my old pants ready to go for that day when I feel brave enough again:) It's nice to have regular tops accessible, too, because although I loved being pregnant maternity clothes are not flattering on a postpartum body. See ya next time, maternity wardrobe!

Truman is definitely more awake since last week and is still mostly content when he wants to be:) He will push it sometimes and try to stay awake WAY too long and then he gets grumpy and the only thing that works to soothe him is nursing. It's fun to see him much more alert and he's definitely able to stare up into our faces now which totally melts my heart. His silly umbilical cord is STILL on, but I really mean it this time when I say it will probably fall off in a day or two. I cannot wait to try cloth diapering and also to give the boy a real bath so it really can't happen soon enough in my opinion. But besides that I cannot believe how big my baby boy is getting and with his growth, he's getting even cuter every day (biased opinion, I know).
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Finally, I received a forwarded email yesterday that made me sob like a baby and put things all into perspective. You may have seen this before but if not, I suggest you go and watch the video and be prepared to ball your eyes out (especially if you have a sons). The gift of an ordinary day is a beautiful little video and I hope you enjoy!

17 comments:

  1. First off, I was at your place on Saturday and you are a GREAT mom. Don't ever question your parenting skills. You are loving Truman with all your heart and that's all he really needs [besides food and a diaper change but I saw you had that well taken care of too!]

    Sorry to hear about the mastitis...but here I am being optimistic again. At least it happened while Nate is home. Hopefully you can squeeze in some good naps while the boys bond.

    And ouch with that fall! What a day you had :( Rest up, mama and don't be too hard on yourself

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  2. That wrinkly forehead kills me! You poor thing...I hope you feel better soon. Truman is adorable!

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  3. ...Truman is just so beautiful! (Sorry, he is...handsome will come later - for now he is just so beautiful!!)

    You've certainly had some "issues" lately! I hope everything is calm this week and that you'll be feeling better very soon.

    Thank you for sharing that video. I have two sons. My youngest will be 26 this year and it feels like yesterday that I was breathing in his baby-ness. It truly does pass in the blink of an eye. I found this poem when my Matthew was a newborn and I have loved it ever since. I hope you like it too...


    My baby boy and me
    Author: Unknown

    It's three am, they're all asleep, and no one is here to see.
    As we rock slowly back and forth, my baby boy and me.

    His little hand is feather light tucked up against my chin.
    I hold his tiny hand in mine, and stroke his baby skin.

    The house about us creaks and groans, the clock hands creep around.
    He snuggles closer to me still, and makes his baby sounds.

    I love these quiet hours so much, and cherish every one.
    Store memories up inside my heart for lonely nights to come.

    All too soon he'll be grown up, his need for Mama gone.
    But until then I still have time for kisses and for song.

    Time for quiet hours like this with him cuddled in my arms.
    Where I wish he'd always stay protected, safe and warm.

    And yet I know the day will come when his tiny little hand,
    will be bigger than my own. He'll grow to be a man.

    But until then he's mine to love with no one here to see.
    As we rock slowly back and forth, my baby boy and me.

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  4. sorry you caught the most common booby virus! :(

    And seriously, I know I don't "know" you, but I can see the love in these posts and therefore I think you make a GREAT mama.

    Get some rest mama, and feel better!!


    PS. T-mans neck roll? Melt my heart!

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  5. I can't imagine how hard it must be adjusting to being a new mom and being responsible for his well-being 24/7, all the while dealing with hormones, no sleep, and mastitis. I would say you're doing a pretty awesome job. Hang in there, Julia!

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  6. I started reading your blog a few months ago, and I realized I should probably de-lurk and write you a comment because baby Truman is just too cute :) I am 29 weeks pregnant, and I appreciate you sharing your story - it really helped normalize a lot of my feelings. I am sorry to hear about the mastitis, and I hope you are on the mend. It sounds like you are doing a great job, though!

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  7. my baby just turned 2 months and i can tell you it gets so so much easier. especially once the pesky hormones regulate and the baby sleeps longer at night!!

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  8. He is such a cutie! I hate that you got mastitis, I had it a few weeks go too and it was awful. Just try to get some rest.

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  9. #1 - I don't think not wanting lopsided boobs is vain at all. Who would want that? But I really do think it'll figure itself out as you've been nursing longer and your supply sort of evens out. And same goes for the mastitis - I think that's another one of those newbie things. Totally sucks, though. I felt like I was gonna die for two days when I had a high fever, chills, etc. plus had to take care of the baby. SO hard.

    #2 - LOVE productive days like that. They are the best. And I can totally relate to the jeans scenario. While I'm under my pre-preg weight, the skin on my stomach is just not the same yet, so most of my jeans cause muffin top. So not cool. When going out, I'm all about yoga pants or leggings right now.

    #3 - HATED the umbilical cord. That thing grossed me out, and the last couple days before it fell off, it smelled bad. SO gross. The first bath is so fun - take lots of pictures!

    #4 - Truman is a doll. Love all the pictures of him so wide eyed!

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  10. Truman is so adorable! I hope the mastitis clears up soon.

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  11. What a fatty! I love it.

    Not vain to want non-lopsided boobs. Though to put things in perspective, we large-boobed gals put up with that our whole lives. ;)

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  12. Love the baby boy pics! And thanks for that video! It definitely put tears in my eyes. Even though I don't have kids yet, it will be a good thing for me to remember when that time comes!

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  13. Sleep whenever Truman is napping and keep drinking lots of water. The garage door story is a classic; glad you are okay and hope you can laugh about it some day. Truman is gorgeous.

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  14. He's so cute!

    How is Henry doing with him now?

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  15. HOLY boobie talk! ha ha. Seriously... Truman is a mini Nate, looks exactly like him! So adorable!!!

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  16. Yuck about the mastitis, and the fall! I'm sorry, girl! Hope you feel better soon.

    Truman is so darn cute - love that sleeper! ;)

    See you soon.

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  17. Hey Julia - Truman is absolutely precious. You're doing a great job!

    If you feel mastitis coming on again, typically you can ward it off without antibiotics - go to bed with your baby, let him nurse all the time (or pump), and nurse (or pump) especially after putting a heating pad on the infected area. Also, nursing in a different position usually helps - sometimes even if his chin can be positioned to face the blocked duct. Once the duct becomes unclogged, your fever should go down (although I still feel like I've been hit by a freight train for a day afterwards).

    Love to see you enjoying getting out with little man! Here's another idea too. . .I've found with all of mine that if I sling them, they are much more content and, even if they would normally want to eat, I can push feedings a little farther apart if they're in the sling. Plus, it's a hands-free way to shop and ensure no one touches your baby.

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