Cecelia at One Month
It's time for the monthly posts to begin again! I am not going to do the onesie stickers this time, but I think I will still take a picture of her on the rocker plus one on her quilt . We'll see if I can keep up the two shots each month!
Um, how is my newborn baby one month old, you guys? Here we go again with this blog turning into 'OMG, time is going too fast and I love my kids and this is such a fun stage' blah blah blah. Except, having a one month old baby isn't truly 'fun' but it's still amazing. And really hard. And getting better by the day. But still hard. I think having a two year old makes me enjoy the newborn phase a little bit more because I know it really does go so fast. Soon enough she will be entertaining us with her toddler antics and we'll be chasing her around the house wondering where time has gone. But I also can't wait for the really fun stuff to start happening (ie purposeful smiles, a routine, good sleep, walking, talking, learning, etc) because Truman is proof that it's really so much fun to watch them enter each stage. It's quite the paradox to love this newborn stage but also yearn for more interactive days at the same time. Another lesson in taking things one day at a time....a lesson I have yet to master.
They look so much alike and yet, both are still different, too. Funny how that happens.
Let's talk about miss Cecelia now.
Cecelia is still going strong for her typical nighttime routine that she has literally had since week one. She will sleep at night for a 3-4 hour stretch at first, then after feeding she will make it another 2ish hours, which means I am waking up just twice a night to feed her. So basically we nurse at 10pm, then she wakes around 2 or 3 am, and then again around 4-5am. The alarm goes off at 6am and sometimes she will keep sleeping in the morning after that but other days she likes to get up and party with the whole family. Not so bad at all, but I'm not seeing her stretch these little sleeper sessions out at all. She's consistent with night time at least--but everything else is a guessing game for what to expect.
During the day, her naps are still all over the place. It's weird because some days I can see a pattern forming and other days it is literally the opposite schedule of what I thought. I used to think that CC liked to sleep most of the morning, then was up for about an hour or two in the mid afternoon, slept again and then was up and fussy all evening. But really? It changes every day. Sometimes she will only nap for 5 minute stretches over and over again all day long. One day she took a 4 hour nap at the same time as her brother (!!), only interrupted for about 5 minutes to nurse on one side. But no matter what, she really does prefer to be held or worn for all naps. Even a swing with swaddle and white noise doesn't seem to be a magic fix right now, although sometimes I do get her to nap outside of my arms for a decent amount of time. So yeah, basically I have no clue what to expect each day---a sleepy baby, an awake baby, happy or fussy. Ah, babies. Gotta love being in survival mode during these early weeks! Luckily I don't mind holding/wearing my girl all day long because stealing those cuddles is what keeps mama going. Cuddly little baby hugs are the best part of the newborn phase, if you ask me. It just makes it hard to pee when you have a baby in your arms or on your chest at all times.
Lady can pound some milk:
Yes, that is my title for Cecelia's nursing tendencies. She is usually eating every one and a half to two hours during the day and I offer both sides but sometimes she has enough after one. She just loves to nurse and usually does a good job with it. But she still likes to nurse for comfort in the evenings and would prefer that my milk doesn't actually enter her mouth during those times. Nursing for comfort is totally fine by me. But nursing and then crying and fussing whenever the milk actually comes in? Very stressful. Thank goodness it's not every day and only for a few hours in the evenings anyway--if she was always like that during the day, too, I'd really hate breastfeeding. My gut tells me that she is just overtired in the evenings and wants to use me as a human pacifier. And it's not even every evening so how in the heck am I supposed to diagnose her and 'fix' the problem? Oh. Maybe I'm not supposed to stress and try to fix whatever is bugging Cecelia? Interesting thought. :)
Since she despises all 'real' pacifiers I don't really have another feasible option for her to try other than my boob when she is rooting and looking to nurse. And so most evenings, when she is cluster feeding for comfort, she will over do it a bit and spit up and get a little cranky from too much milk. Or maybe she is just cranky anyway and the milk vomit is a side product of her evening fuss? Who knows. I think it's all normal but we now have four episodes of ridiculous amounts of puke on the books. Like, at least a cup of spit up each time and almost always this happens in the evenings after nursing. She doesn't cry about it and I think she's gaining weight well, so I try not to worry about it. But I will definitely talk to the pediatrician about it next week at our one month appointment. I'm thinking it's a sensitive gag reflex combined with too much milk at once since this usually happens in the evenings and not during the day or night. It's normal for babies to spit up, yes, and some are BIG TIME spitters but healthy....right?
Being fussy and tired in the evenings, not liking my milk during that time, and big-scary spit ups are obviously the three things that spark my MUST FIX IT gene. You couldn't tell that by reading this post at all, could you?
Also, we tried giving little lady her first bottle of breastmilk last week and it was an epic fail. She was screaming and gagging and making this awful face like we were trying to make her drink battery acid. I couldn't take it anymore and gave up that night, nursing her instead. So we tried again the next night with the same bottle because I will be damned if I have to dump out defrosted breastmilk! And that time she took a whopping one ounce out of the offered five ounces. Sigh. Really hoping she gets the hang of the bottle soon because it's stressing me out to think that she might have a hard time with them at daycare. And I cannot fathom dumping out more frozen milk because it's expired in the fridge after 24 hours. Come on baby girl---let's work on it this week, mmmkay? Not going to lie, though--I dread trying to work bottle feeding into our schedule. I hate having to find a good time to offer her a bottle, then heating it up, praying that she takes it from Nate, etc. It's just one more thing to deal with, you know? Kind of like finding the time to pump in the mornings--I totally dread it but always feel better once it's done. But I know these things must get done, so we'll do our best to work them into the hectic newborn days.
She's showing us what she likes and doesn't like each day, and I really do love this part of discovering a newborn. Still hates pacifiers, car seats, and being put down when asleep. Loves to be worn and held and cuddled. Loves moving in general--walking around outside, driving in the car (but not coming to a stop for more than 1 minute, the horror!!), and exploring different rooms of our house. Loves most music, especially DMB, and adores her expensive nursery glider. She really doesn't mind her baths anymore and I think she digs diaper changes, too. I have to label Cecelia as mostly content with a dash of Diva, with a capital 'D'. I mean, she is definitely a girl and I can see a big difference between her and what her brother was like at this age. Cecelia is much more dramatic and demanding and I have a feeling we might be in for it with this little girl. But then again, I am always shocked to read back over my Truman posts from his first month because I do not remember him fussing in the evenings, or spitting up, or hating his car seat and pacifier. And apparently all of that happened with him and I just don't recall, since I must wear rose-colored glasses. I really thought I was a mom who enjoyed the newborn phase and part of me still does, but part of me thinks it's a lot harder than I remember from the first time.
She had her first total freakout, meltdown, inconsolable evening the other night and it really shook my confidence as a mom. Now, granted, it was only 35 minutes of hysterical crying and not 3 hours or anything. But it was enough to have me in tears, my heart pounding, praying to God that this doesn't become the norm at night. Nothing I did would settle miss lady and I seriously tried everything. She finally fell asleep nursing and then later on she had another little episode for Nate. Want to know what finally settled her down for him (while I was doing bedtime with Truman)? Um, swaddling and a pacifier. What? I thought she hated both of those things but whatever works. Babies sure do keep you on your toes, huh? After these two crying fits (and after a big glass of wine for both Nate and I), we were discussing how helpless newborns can be. And I told Nate that Truman never cried like that and so I'm worried that Cecelia is going to be much more of a handful. Nate looked at me like I was crazy and said he vividly remembers walking in circles with Truman as he screamed hysterically in the nursery. I honestly cannot recall that ever happening---so maybe I will also forget about CC's hysterics. But maybe not, since I just wrote about it:)
Well first, her hair is still awesome and longer than it was at birth. I am obsessed with making her wear bows now, which isn't something I thought I'd do. But 'Hi, my name is Julia and I'm addicted to putting bows in my daughter's awesome hair.' Maybe I just embraced the bows because I am afraid she is getting a receding hair line. And if it all falls out on top resulting in a female-mullet I will cry, mourning the loss of her gorgeous signature locks. I sure do hope she can pull off a femullet/male patterned baldness like her brother did. And who knows, maybe it will still stay put---I think Truman's hair was mostly gone by this point anyway.
Exhibit A: The Hair
With all kinds of bows/headbands:
Do you think she has enough bows? Going to need another bow holder soon...
As a side note: Truman got his baby acne and cradle cap around 5 weeks. Hoping Cecelia doesn't follow in his footsteps for that one either. Balding, pimples and flaky skin = only things a newborn baby can handle without being totally pitiful. And really, they are still pretty pitiful most of the time, aren't they?
Her newborn onesies are getting way too tight and I can't really snap them over her diaper anymore. I'm still keeping her in mostly NB sizes though because I'm not ready to pack them away--and a separate top with bottoms are fine. It's just the length of the one-pieces that are too small right now. She has worn some of her 3 month clothes and they fit much better in length and shockingly aren't too baggy in the width either. Can't believe she is outgrowing her first set of clothes already but I'm already really excited to get her into more of the adorable 0-3 month outfits I have ready for little miss. Dressing Cecelia each morning is seriously one of the highlights of my day---and actually, I still thoroughly enjoy picking out Truman's outfits, too. The day my kids won't let me dress them anymore is a day I will melt into a sobbing mess. For real. Maybe then I'll have to care about my own wardrobe at that point...
I weighed myself and then weighed me holding her the other day and I think she is about 9.5 pounds already. Insane. Truman was 10 pounds 3 oz at one month but he looked a LOT fatter in pictures, so we'll see what Cecelia actually posts at her appointment. If she IS close to 10 pounds I will be super pumped though because then we can start her in our Bum Genius cloth diapers---paying for disposables during this time when she uses a TON of diapers each day is ridiculously expensive! And I want to see her fluffy cloth diaper butt in outfits ASAP:)
CC has flashed a few smiles at us already, which prompted me to google 'when do infants start smiling'. Because really? Smiling at 3 weeks when not asleep or actively pooping? They really don't seem to be 'just gas' but then again, it's only happened a handful of times. Thankfully I have caught a few on camera to prove that I'm not crazy. I'm definitely excited for her smiles to be more consistent and actually because she is happy, though. I have a feeling her grin is going to be out of this world, you guys. Cue the crazy parents making googly eyed faces at the baby, willing her to smile so hard that said parents pop a blood vessel from high pitched voices. Yep, that is me and Nate right now. And I'm sure we are already embarrassing CC like the dorky parents we are.
See? I don't lie.
(and it wasn't just that one day, although that is the only day I got really good smiles on camera.)
How mama is doing:
Because really, this blog may be about my kids now but I still like to be a little selfish at times, you know? :)
I am still riding out the highs and lows of mothering a newborn and a toddler. It's just so odd to me that the high moments can be followed closely behind with a low moment in a matter of minutes! Within the same day! And really, I feel the most anxious and sad in the evenings when CC is having her fussy time and Truman is overtired and whining and we are ALL just so tired. So I guess if you look at the grand scheme of things, having a hard 4 hours out of a 24 hour period isn't so bad. But those 4 hours are enough to tarnish the good 20 hours, you know?
I love having two kids and would not trade it for the world, even with the rough evenings around here. I've had about three times in the past month where I just stare down at Cecelia and cry happy tears, thanking God for such a blessing in our lives. Most of the time those happy cries happen when we are listening to music together---something about familiar song lyrics always get me. One night after a challenging few hours of trying to get both of our kids to sleep, Nate gave me a big hug and said, 'Thank you for being such a great mommy. To both of our kids.' I almost lost it then, too, because I REALLY needed to hear that from him.
And Truman? He still loves his sister to death. He will ask to hold her, he will share his toys with her and will force her to look at his temporary tattoos as he teaches her all about Thomas and Friends:) My favorite quote of his lately? 'Hi baby! Big brother is here!' I die. He really has not shown any jealousy or acting out even now that the newness has definitely worn off. The only real difference I can see in him is that he is fighting his bedtime like a champ right now, which of course makes those wonderful fussy evenings even better when both kids are freaking out. But that might not be due to Cecelia and maybe it's just a phase Truman is going through? He's still a happy, wonderful kid though---one who loves being a big brother. I'm so thankful he can entertain himself a bit now while I tend to Cecelia.
Real pictures from last week ...
Demanding to hold the baby, then 'booping' her nose with his finger:)
Looks so much like her brother here!
Sharing trains. She looks thrilled.
Ruffle butt does tummy time
I just love this face
tummy time on daddy is a group effort. She loves it, obvi!
Instagram/iPhone time! And in case you don't read my comments from other posts, I shared that my new user name that is safe for the internets is mrsjuliagoolia. Come find me! And then maybe I won't have to post all of these pictures here AND there, each week.
I got her hospital shadow box finished!
How many pacifiers will I try before I give up? Cause all of these babies aren't working, my friends. (except for that one time with Nate but whatever)
Epic trip to Target, first time going with two kids alone. Also the first time we made it in and out in just 10 minutes, only spending $35. Take that, Target gods!
Hi. We like pink and white.
My family on a Sunday morning. Heart exploding.
That day she slept for 4 hours. With her own take on boppy sleeping
Never ever want to forget these early nursing days