Questions from the Internet: Part 3

The next round of questions that came from the Six Questions interview all have to do with 'advice.' And more specifically parenting advice. Popular topic!


What is the best and the worst piece of parenting advice you've received? -Amy B.

What are the best words of wisdom you've ever gotten/read? Advice, comfort, what's stuck with you the most? -aligibbs24

Hi, Julia, what advice would you go back and give to yourself pre-baby or to someone thinking of having kids? Thank you! -rees_bk

I just recently posted about one of my favorite quotes of all times:

(hand lettering by seances)

I believe good old Abraham Lincoln is credited with this quote and I really could not agree more. I guess this isn't advice as much as it's considered my 'words of wisdom'. Choose happiness. Find the positive in a situation. Enjoy life and be happy. Sounds simple enough, right?

When I was pregnant with Truman, I was *that* first time mom who read all of the books. I researched, I prepared, I was determined to be a great mom. If I could go back to my pre-baby self to impart all of my hard-earned mommy wisdom, I would just say this: go easy on yourself. You have no idea the incredible amount of joy this thing called motherhood will bring you, and yet it will be the hardest role in the world, too. Read all of the books you'd like, dear friend, but nobody can be totally 'ready' for their own baby. All babies are different, all families are different, and if you decide to make decisions from your gut based on what you feel is right for your child you will be golden. Push all of the other outside pressures or expectations or dare I say it, mommy wars aside. 

I feel like living in a time of social media is both really cool and really unfortunate. We just know too much about each other's lives these days. Do you think moms of our grandmothers' generation really cared if so-and-so down the block breastfed or bottle fed their baby? If they co-slept or not? How they parented? Were there mommy wars back then? Competition? Or was it just a simpler time with different priorities? I've thought about having my grandma (Memaw!) write a bit for the Moms Make it Work series because I know her perspective as an octogenarian is so incredibly interesting compared to what we are accustomed to today. One thing she emailed to me after a MMIW post was that the concept of 'me time' was nonexistent back then. They just didn't think much about carving out time for themselves as mom and probably just got the job done without spreading themselves too thin to 'keep up' with all of the other moms out there. I don't know. I mean, I CRAVE my beloved 'me time' and can't imagine that not idea not being in my head. She also doesn't understand the big deal about 'mommy guilt' and thinks the moms of our generation are way too hard on ourselves. Just do the best you can and move on---simple enough, right? I love hearing Memaw's opinion on parenting especially because she says her transition from two to three beautiful baby girls was not all that difficult;) Perhaps I will get her to write something for us on this old blog---to breathe new life into this modern day mommy blog from an old school professional author.

What I'm saying is that moms-to-be can go a long way if they do their best to follow their gut and ignore all of the noise out there regarding the 'best' choice for their child. I guess that is what I'd say to my pre-baby self or any other girl getting ready to become a mom. It's more amazing than you could ever imagine and also more challenging. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows. And totally worth it, 100%.

As far as the best and worst parenting advice I've ever received? Hmmmm. I guess the best would be to follow your instincts. Enjoy the moment. Look at the big picture. Be present. You know, all of those really EASY things to do as moms;) And the worst advice would be something about how newborn babies are smart enough to manipulate you into wussy parents. As in, your baby must be crying to get attention and if you don't put your foot down and show them who is boss, they will always 'own' you or something dumb like that. I don't think babies need to be held 24/7 or that you have to run to their side with every whimper (as if that is even possible, especially with more than one child). But anyone who claims that a baby (and I'm talking LITTLE, like less than 6 months) is trying to manipulate you does not remember what it's like to have a tiny, fussy, human baby. Sometimes they just cry for no good reason. You might make yourself certifiably insane trying to figure out the cause of their crying but I truly do not agree with the notion of a baby trying to 'manipulate' a parent. They are babies, and therefore not the smartest. They have other great qualities of course (adorableness, innocence, amazing smell, squishiness) but they aren't that smart. Again, just follow your gut and if you think your baby needs you then go to him. There will be plenty of time in your parenting career to 'put your foot down' and show your child who is boss (i.e. ages 2 through forever?). 

I have heard the 'don't let her manipulate you' type comments before when CC was really little. I won't say who told me things like, 'Oh look, she totally has you wrapped around her finger' but it took a lot of self-restraint to avoid rolling my eyes at that one. Now that Cecelia is almost two? Sure. She probably tries to test my limits and see if I'll follow through with what I promise. I still don't think she wants to 'manipulate' me when she is being naughty. She is almost two and needs me to teach her the rules and limits while also proving my love and earning her trust. She is also completely different than her big brother when it comes to pushing the boundaries so I'm sort of learning this whole 'guiding a two year old' thing all over again. Gotta love how these babies keep us on our toes!

Miss Priss:






Mister Too Big for his Britches (going back to my Southern roots for that term!):





Love them so. Hope this post was somewhat insightful about 'advice'. One more installment of these Internet Questions to go!