Tonight I brought out the big camera for an ordinary evening outside after dinner. I realized when I wrote Porter's 14 month post that I haven't used my real camera much lately and wanted to change that. And in the name of getting the blogging mojo back, I'll use this as an excuse to post lots of pictures from tonight right here, instead of worrying about which one to put on IG.
Last night, or super early this morning, I woke up in a cold sweat with a not right, not right at all stomach. I have not puked in years but this morning I tallied the feat twice and it was every bit as horrifying as I remember. Nate stayed home from work this morning without me even asking because I was certainly not in any condition to parent the kids. He was a huge help and took Cecelia and Porter to the oil change I had scheduled for the van, and then to a playground. By the time he did go into work around 12:30, I was feeling more human and also hopeful that the littles would give me gigantic naps as a gift. That part didn't happen but it was still a nice and uneventful afternoon/evening. Really really hoping the kids and Nate don't get whatever this was and also very thankful it seems to be short lived.
Ticking time bombs? I hate the paranoia that comes with just waiting for one of them to get sick. So far so good, come on kids' immune systems!
So much else I wanted to mention on the old blog, but all of the things I had listed in my phone are already outdated from weeks ago. But there was this one night when I had this conversation with Truman and it must be documented:
T: "Mom, when CC and I came out of your belly, how did we get out of there? Out of your mouth?"
Me: "Um, no, not out of my mouth. Out of...somewhere else." (After further persistent questioning from Truman). "Out of...my privates." (Cringe, cringe, cringe, OMG, why is this so weird to talk about!!??)
T: (wide eyed, stunned). "Oh." And he rolled over and went to sleep.
We've talked about labor and birth before, last time the important debate was whether or not it was painful for THE BABY to come out of the mommy's belly. This time the conversation really took a turn for the graphic, I'm afraid.
(pink cowboy boots--her find at a consignment shop, hasn't taken them off since!)
(Did I mention that he ditched a training wheels a few weeks ago? It was surprisingly emotional for me, he is just so big!)
(revived an old toy for this guy, too)
Another night awhile ago, after a particularly rough day with Cecelia, I was eager to get the bedtime routine completed so I could properly collapse onto the couch and reflect about how difficult it is to be a great mom to my daughter. Luckily, our emotional/challenging/disaster days are few and far between lately, thank goodness. But they still happen and I still worry that I'm doing it all wrong with my girl. Anyway, after one of those days, I was tucking Cecelia in and we were talking a bit about the favorite parts of our day. I asked her what she liked the most from the day, trying my hardest to get her to focus on the positives, expecting she would certainly say 'going to the swings.' But instead she looked right at me and said, 'playing with my mommy.' I'm not even sure what we had done that day to qualify as 'playing' but it struck me right in the heart, to ease up on myself and realize I'm just doing my best with Cecelia. And that I was meant to be her mom and I AM mom enough for her, no matter how much she makes me question my abilities. I mean, I was the best part of her entire day and I think she knew I needed to hear that as a confidence booster!! She is really something, I love her with the same intensity that I fear her ;)
Then there was my 'best day ever' at work, which was a Friday and a short day in that I only saw three patients in the morning. One of my patients that day also had been working with me for about 12 visits, which was a decent length of time for us. She started off so weak and afraid of trying to get better. Then this day, she was able to walk down her front stoop, out to her sidewalk, down another step and into her garage without a ramp and without her wheelchair. It was huge and made me feel like all of the hard work and all of the preparations we had done before this day were worth it.
The other notable patient of that morning also reminded me why I love my job so much. I had been seeing this one for nearly four months which is abnormally long for my time with patients, and she's always been a favorite of mine. We had been working so hard to get this patient stronger, walking again, and specifically we were working on preparing her for her front porch stairs so that she could leave her house safely. Without a wheelchair, without her family pushing her---she wanted to be independent again. On my very last day with this patient, we did those six front porch stairs as three of her family members came over to watch and cheer her on. It was awesome, it was rewarding, it was a ton of fun to see my patient so successful in our goals. She's always been a favorite of mine so after we did the stairs she said, 'Okay, now we have cake to celebrate.' She and her family had bought the most delicious, gigantic, over the top double chocolate cake (with genache filling and buttercream frosting) for us to share. She literally said, 'You are having a big slice with me right now, so how do you like your coffee?' We had a slice of the cake, a cup of coffee, and we all chatted a bit about life and all of the non-therapy things possible. It was just a highlight of my work year for me to see her kick butt with her progress in PT and also to have such an amazing gesture of cake and coffee. She made me take half of the cake home with me and my family did not mind at all;)
I enjoy a lot of my patients and especially when they actually get better and meet their goals, but both of these ladies really went above and beyond for EXCELLENT visits. Also, I can't stop thinking about that chocolate cake. Mmmmmmm.
And now for a series of Porter Standing Pictures. It's all so exciting.
Classic P face.
Oh hey, where are you going, baby boy? And why do you always have to trash your outfits beyond belief, so that many of your pictures are with you in a diaper only?
We've been adjusting to having Truman in Kindergarten, and he loves it so much that the adjustment hasn't been too jarring. We've been having fun, we've been tired, we've been busy (I dislike that word so much, though), and we've been adjusting to life with these growing kids.
Kids are fun, man.
Someday he'll be a school kid, too. Sigh.
Still my baby for now.