2.28.2010

Hospital Fun

Hello from my very own hospital room! It's very odd to be in the same gown, with the same horrible beds, and eating the same food that my patients do every day. Did I mention that I'm delivering at the same hospital where I work?

So all is well so far. We were both pretty nervous last night getting here but once we got checked in and settled a bit we felt much better. Had the Cervadil inserted at 7:30 last night and removed at 7 am this morning. I got a quick shower, light breakfast and now the Pitocin as started. They want to wait on an internal exam until my doctor comes through, just to save me less time with people all up in my biz, which is fine. But all night long even before the Pit my contractions were very apparent both on the screen and for me. Not painful, just crampy and uncomfortable. The nurses say baby looks awesome with his heartbeat and movement with always makes a momma happy to hear:)

We shall see how this day unfolds! My new nurse works 7 to 7 so she's hoping we have baby boy by the time she leaves. Whoo! But I know it could take quite a bit longer than that, possibly, so I'm keeping an open mind. Nate went to get 'real breakfast' but when he comes back we are going to hook me up to the portable monitor and do some serious walking with my hot hospital gown and ugly socks. I will try to update this same post as I can throughout the day and also on facebook.

So thankful that everyone is thinking of us, sending good thoughts, and keeping us in their prayers. It helps so much! Thank you guys, here's to getting baby 'Los out in a safe and timely fashion!
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11:00
First check from the doctor: 1 cm dilated, 50% effaced, 'very posterior' cervix, and only a -3 station. Doh! I was hoping for more but the contractions are getting stronger yet and they want them to be 2 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each. Definitely not that close together yet. So we could be settling in for the long haul or maybe not....who knows! I think I'm going to try and nap a bit while I still can because I'm already tired from all this excitement!

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4:15pm
Had another check at 2 pm and everything was exactly the same. I've been at the max dose of pitocin since 1:00 and if nothing major has happened by 5 pm the plan is to turn it off and do the Cervadil again tonight. Then tomorrow we'll try this thang again.

I'm having very regular, strong contractions and they are really just uncomfortable for me, nothing unbearable, but so far they haven't made progress with my cervix. The nurse is impressed I'm not in too much pain but I've always had some killer menstrual cramps and these are just like an extreme version of those. I keep talking to baby boy to tell him he needs to sink down and push that cervix open for me! So far he's being pretty darn stubborn.

We had a great conversation with my OB a little bit ago. She is still being really positive that something can happen but said that no matter what he'll come tomorrow. She can't let me go three days because of my Pre-E and I totally understand that. I mean, the more we talk about this decision to induce the better I feel about it, even if that means my body isn't truly ready and I need a C-section tomorrow. It's just not safe for me or for him to keep him in there and I understand her line of thinking completely now. Every time I get up just for a short walk my BP goes up and the highest it's been is 155/102. Not good. But you know what? Totally out of my control. There is nothing I can do to stop my Pre-E, nothing I could have done to prevent it, and nothing I can do to WILL my body to get going with this labor. It's truly out of my hands which is both frightening and reassuring.

Of course I'm really hoping that my water will just break or otherwise we'll do this whole procedure again tomorrow, which I can handle but it's pretty exhausting. My OB says that this whole day hasn't been for naught because all of these contractions really are training my body for what it needs to do. She says lots of times the second day is when everything clicks into place and things progress. Here's to wishing that is true for me!

On another note, ever since I started the pitocin I've have to be on clear liquids and holy hell I'm starving! I am eating the house out of their sorbet and popsicles trying to get some energy. But the good news if they do stop the pit in a little bit to restart the cervadil she'll let me have a real meal. I'm totally going to pig out! :)

So, thank you all for more thoughts and prayers! Now I really need them all to focus on the next 24 hours or so, praying that my cervix does SOMETHING and that I can mentally handle another day of the pitocin. I'm trying very hard not to feel let down or negative, assuming that this won't work and I'll be in surgery tomorrow night. I realize there is still a good chance that I can deliver vaginally but it just seems like my body isn't ready and I'm bummed about it.

Eyes on the prize: which is holding my baby boy in my arms. Whether he makes his entrance through my vag or through my stomach I suppose makes no difference in the long run. Looks like it will be March 1 if not today!

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MONDAY, MARCH 1

4:30 am
Cannot sleep, despite the Ambien this time. More painful contractions that are still like menstrual cramps but much worse than the pit-induced ones are keeping me up. Plus my racing mind.

I had a little breakdown to Nate last night before bed because I'm just frustrated with my body right now. I'm preparing myself to mourn the loss of my vaginal delivery. I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. I just tried all day long to keep a positive, upbeat attitude but after both of our parents left and I felt so exhausted and emotionally drained I couldn't help but cry. Of course, Nate comforted me and reassured me that he's so proud of me but I really haven't done a darn thing yet. He said that no matter how our baby comes into the world, it's going to be amazing to have him in our lives. The ways to an end....does it really matter if my induction fails and we need a C-section? Does that make my experience any less special? What about all of the couples in the world who struggle with infertility for years? When they finally succeed and have a baby does their pathway make them any more or less satisfying than someone who gets pregnant on accident? If we are all becoming parents, through various methods, do the details of how we get there matter? I don't know. I just know that I don't want any regrets when I look back on this. If my body won't cooperate, while still being sick with Pre-E, then so be it. But i just wanted to get that emotional dumping out of my system last night before it happens today in front of everyone. Of course, my poor nurse walked in during my sobfest and witnessed the ugly cry and was a doll. She assures me that second-day inductions really can work and I know she's not just saying that.

Enough rambling. Gonna try to sleep some more and think positive thoughts. What an emotionally draining few days! Baby Carlos is being stubborn and not listening to his mama right now....not much will change when he's on the outside, I'm sure:)

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9:30

Pit is up and running and these contractions definitely feel different than yesterday....much lower and more intense. I think I'm up 10 units of pitocin and the max is 30, they are going to check me soon and then get a game plan together. I'm feeling more positive about this whole thing right now and part of that is because of the tons of support we are getting from friends, family and strangers on the internets. Thank you guys!

75 comments:

  1. Good luck, Julia! You have so many people rooting for you and you are going to do great! Enjoy this time and relax. Can't wait to hear how everything works out. Have a great day!!!

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  2. I started reading your blog at the beginning of your pregnancy and now here you are ready to deliver! I'm so excited for you. Can't wait to see pics of baby boy!

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  3. I'm so glad to hear that your body is already responding and that baby still looks great! Today would be a great day to be born! :)

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  4. Crampy and uncomfortable -- sounds promising! Sounds like the day I had Ryan...Maybe you won't need a lot of pitocin! Crossing my fingers and toes for productive pain! :)

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  5. Woohoo! Go mama! I will be hoping things go smoothly today and that 'Los doesn't make you wait too long to see his pretty face ;)

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  6. I am so excited for you! Will be thinking happy thoughts today!

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  7. Eeeek, so exciting! Good luck, Julia, I'm definitely thinking of you today!

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  8. So exciting! I hope all goes well and I can't to see pictures of your baby boy. Keep us posted!

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  9. Baby get out and meet your mommy and daddy! Oh and come out quickly too.

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  10. Thanks for the update and good luck! Glad everything's gone smoothly so far.

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  11. So exciting! Can't wait to see pics of your baby boy.

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  12. Good luck! We're waiting anxiously!!

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  13. SO excited for you and your family! Sending positive thoughts your way.

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  14. Hope you get some rest and have more dilation/effacement sooner!

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  15. Good Luck.....T & P comeing your way and for the safe arrival of your parents as well!!!!

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  16. Look at the work your body has done already!! Pace yourself, nap as you can, walk as you're able. Continue to embrace the experience as you've done all along...You're about to meet your son!!

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  17. lots of love and happy wishes for carlos's safe deliverey!! i hope you are able to enjoy this process and take it all in. it's such a special day.

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  18. Thinking of you! I hope everything goes just perfectly!

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  19. Good luck with everything today!

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  20. So excited for you, you get to meet your baby boy soon! Can't wait to hear his name.

    Hailey was a 7 o'clock special as the nurses call it, she was born at 7:10 so both nurses were there, the one who was supposed to leave didn't want to miss the birth!

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  21. Rock It girl! So So excited for you guys!

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  22. Sending lots of happy thoughts your way :)

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  23. Just said a prayer that 'Los starts putting pressure on your cervix...what a weird thing to pray about, LOL. ;)

    Head up, girl!

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  24. Praying! You're doing great!! ((hugs))

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  25. This sounds exhausting -- it makes running a marathon seem like a walk in the park! It sounds like you have a great team looking out for you, so hopefully your body cooperates and everything really gets going tomorrow! If not, you're in such great shape that you'll probably recover from a C-section in no time flat. I can't wait to find out what happens!

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  26. You are so positive! Your great attitude will pull you through the next 24 hours. Hang in there and I look forward to reading more updates!!! Can't wait to help welcome your baby boy into the world!

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  27. I was out of town this weekend, away from the computer - driving home tonight, I looked at Brian and said "Oh my gosh, I wonder if Julia had her baby?!!" He said, "Who's Julia?!" :) I really enjoy reading your blog - Wishing you lots of luck and many prayers. Can't wait to see pictures! -Katie

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  28. Good luck, Julia! I know this is not exactly how you had planned everything to work out but you know thatyour doctor will do what is best for you and the baby. I had 2 csections and had great experiences both times.
    Either way, your baby will be here very soon! YAY!!!!

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  29. You're doing good, Julia! Baby's doing swimmingly! Praying for the best! (9:44 p.m) Amazing how small cyberspace makes the world! Been thinking about you/checking in (blog) throughout the day! Going to celebrate a birth soon :) Can't wait to see that darling son of yours (Nate's)! Hope you get some sleep tonight!

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  30. I'm praying for you, Julia! You've got a great attitude about the current situation. I hope things start moving for you, but either way Carlos is almost her!!!

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  31. Thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. I've enjoyed reading your journey and can't wait for Carlos to make his appearance...on your blog too!

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  32. Julia,

    I have really appreciated following your pregnancy journey. I too am being induced today (in about 3 hours) after harboring a 42 week baby- talk about stubborn baby! I am hopeful that you will have a healthy little baby boy this afternoon, whatever way he decides to make his entrance. There are somethings that are out of our control and it's going to be like that as a parent too (unfortunately).

    Best of Luck and an early congratulations on your little bundle of joy. From reading your blog I'm sure little Carlos will be showered with love by 2 amazing parents :)

    (www.sunshinequeen.wordpress.com)

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  33. I think it's only normal to start to prepare for the worst. It's a way to be in control of the situation, be prepared, just in case. But that said, I am still totally hoping for you that things progress naturally today. Either way, healthy and happy delivery/birthday to 'Los!

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  34. Little Carlos will be here by the end of the day! SO EXCITING! Don't stress about the c-section. It is a possibility that it may have to happen but I love your attitude. When Carlos is in your arms, safe and healthy, you won't be worrying about how he got there. Good luck today, lady! I'll be thinking about you!!!

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  35. You have an amazing attitude about this and I completely understand where you're coming from. I was about 5 minutes from a C-section because Noelle was so stubborn too. I'll check for the little man's name (my psychic hunch is Benjamin, lol) throughout the day...stay strong.

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  38. You are so smart and so blessed Julia! Way to get that baggage out and spoken already! Nate is such a gem. There really isn't a wrong way to bring your baby into this world, just as you guys discussed. All that matters is a healthy baby and mama.:)

    I'm encouraged by the stronger contractions! They're just going to stay the same like period cramps until the intensity will make you forget everything. :) I'm praying you get there.

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  39. It's an emotional experience...and at times - a frustrating one! You and Nate are just positive people...so however your birth experience goes, you will see it positively because it brought you your son! Still praying!

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  40. I will tell you I just 7 weeks ago had a c-section and I loved it. I felt great in just a few days. I labored and pushed for 2 hours before going to the OR. I am also a labor and delivery RN. I actually have a friend that had a vaginal delivery in November and she fold me a few weeks ago that her butt still hurt and she could not sit straight on it yet. Also just think everything down there will remain as is! I would never vbac my next baby, I thought the section was easy. The only down fall is you don't get the baby right up on your chest, but your husband holds him right next to you. I thought this was kind of cool.. I get to carry him for so long and feel him grow so it was nice for my husband to vet to hold him first. It was heartmelting to see him hold the baby. So what I am saying is don't get upset about a c- section... You may actually be happier in the long run. Good luck!

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  41. I stumbled upon your blog a while ago through another friend's blog and have been following your pregnancy all along! I can't believe you're finally here. Thank you for sharing your life with us...I have never commented before, but feel like today is a good day for my first - since you will probably be having YOUR first! Isn't it funny to know there is a stanger in Colorado cheering you along and hoping you get to meet your son today?! Wishing much luck and love for you and your hubby!

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  42. Oh Julia....

    It's 100% okay to cry and let everything out. In the long run, it's probably better for your body to release all that built up tension/excitment/frustration.

    I'm hoping with all that I have that your body progresses today and all your fears become a thing of the past. And if NOT, it's all good :) I'm a C-Section baby and look how fabulous I turned out! :-D [Kidding..but I hope that made you smile a little!]

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  43. Hey Julia - Not sure if you'll be checking these comments today, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck in bringing your baby boy into the world.

    We're all here pulling for you. There's nothing wrong with crying - and with being disappointed if things do go according to your birth plan - that's only natural. Here's to hoping the 2nd day induction works.

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  44. Hey Julia - Not sure if you'll be checking these comments today, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck in bringing your baby boy into the world.

    We're all here pulling for you. There's nothing wrong with crying - and with being disappointed if things do go according to your birth plan - that's only natural. Here's to hoping the 2nd day induction works.

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  45. Wishing you all the luck in the world Julia!!!!

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  46. Oh my gosh, Julia, I'm just checking in since last week. I can't believe you're at the hospital and ready to deliver! I hope that the rest of your labor runs smoothly. I'm thinking about you today!

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  47. Found your blog awhile ago through some wedding planning site or something like that. Anyway, just wanted you to know that I'm sending prayers your way for a healthy, happy baby boy (and parents!). Congrats!

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  48. I've been obsessively checking in for updates - I'm so excited for you! Remember in these next very difficult hours that we are all cheering and praying for you. Good luck!

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  49. You're going to see your baby soon!

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  50. Lots of positive thoughts coming your way. Come on Baby Los....mama needs you to work w/ her!!!!

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  51. So happy for you, Nate, and little Los. I'll be thinking of you today.

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  52. Stay positive and focus on how incredible it will be to see your son's face for the first time.

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  53. Woo woo! Push him out, push him out, waaaaaaaaay out!

    For serious though, it sounds like you're making some progress. I'm not generally a praying person, but I'm sending messages up to the big guy for you.

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  54. Still rooting for you and baby Carlos, girlie! Really hoping those contrax start working their magic!

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  55. Hang in there! Good luck :o)

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  56. you got this, julia!!! stay positive and know that you will see your cutie in no time :)

    you can do it!!!

    nicky

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  57. So excited for you and Nate, good luck today and can't wait to find out the name :).

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  58. I, too, started reading your blog near the beginning of your pregnancy... found you through a blogger friend of another blogger friend. Funny how that happens. Wishing you the very best today and sending prayers for you and your family! Can't wait to see pics of your bundle of joy (and find out the name!) Congrats! :)

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  59. I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best.

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  60. I am so excited for you!!! No matter how you get there, holding Baby Carlos in your arms will be magical!

    We're all thinking about you!

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  61. hang in there. we're all thinking of you! and remember, no matter how 'los arrives, he's here and he's yours! how incredible is that? there are lots of things we can't plan for, but you can plan to LOVE that baby boy as soon as you look into his eyes and hear his cry.

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  62. It took everything I had not to scroll all the way to the bottom and see if you had him yet or not!!! The suspense was killing me!!

    But I was patient and read alllll the way through - which I'm glad I did now!

    SO EXCITING!! I have butterflies for you! Sending prayers and thoughts!!

    xo,
    B

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  63. Hope everything is going well! It's okay to be emotional--you're bringing a life into the world! Can't wait to hear the news. All my best!

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  64. I keep checking in on you for updates! Will be thinking if you all day and wishing for things to go just perfectly for little Carlos :) hang in there strong momma!!

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  65. I've been checking your blog for the past 2 days and am so excited for you! Hope he's out safely and you are enjoying him right now, or in the very near future:)

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  66. I found your blog a while back from EADL, but this is the first time I've commented. So as a fellow Billiken, I wanted to wish you the best of luck and pray that everything goes smoothly.

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  67. I just came across your blog yesterday and spent a majority of the day reading through all your pregnancy posts. Good luck with your delivery...it will all be worth it to hold your sweet little man when it's over!

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  68. I'm hoping the fact that you haven't updated your post since this morning means you're labor is progressing! Keeping my fingers crossed that things go according to plan for you.

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