6.24.14: Two more weeks until my due date!!
OB appointment update: no big changes in the cervix-region. In fact, with this internal I think she was about to tell me I'm 'totally closed up', but then I was like, 'huh, that is weird since you said I was a 1cm last week.' To which she replied, 'A very tight 1cm then.' Ha! It really doesn't matter to me and unless I was found to be hanging out at a 3cm or something, I wouldn't have cared much either way. That would have been really cool and different! Again, I just don't seem to dilate much (or at all) until right during labor. I am 50% effaced now, though, which is something. Again, with Truman I was induced and had no cervical changes whatsoever before he shot out of there with 2 days of pitocin coursing through my veins. With Cecelia I was 0cm and 75% effaced two days before I had her (quickly!). So whatever, I guess.
His heart rate was 132, he's still head down, measured on track, and was kicking me like crazy the entire appointment. Me? My blood pressure was good, I'm up 30 pounds, and guess who is three for three for being Group B Strep positive? This girl! Meh. All that really means is that I should get to the hospital sooner than later when in labor, just to have some of the antibiotics. Remember: last two labors I was also GBS positive and only got one out of the four bags of IV antibiotics, and both kids were fine. My OB says there is a 1% chance of the baby getting a serious pneumonia or respiratory issues if the full amount of antibiotics are not received during the delivery. So I'm not too concerned and will just do the best I can to get to the hospital when I'm 100% sure I'm in labor and won't be turned away.
(shadow tricks--3pm makes for a giant belly)
Which reminds me: last week I found a drafted blog post that I used to journal all of my inner most thoughts at the very end of Cecelia's pregnancy. I started babbling about the fun of The End at 39w2d and continued through 39w4d when I officially went into labor at home and doubted every second of it. Ahhh, just reading back over those thoughts brought me back to the magical, crazy, scary, exciting time of labor and delivery. I mean, it can all change SO QUICKLY....I had no early labor signs, really, just started timing contractions that weren't too painful (sounds familiar) around 10pm and had her in my arms by 8am. Craziness. Cannot. Wait.
Actually, I will say this for my current mental state: I am not d-o-n-e yet. I have not hit the wall, like I thought I was reaching last week. The weather has been cooler, I haven't been having as many contractions lately, and I am not quite as 'could this be it?' every second of every loooooong day. Don't get me wrong: I feel ready. I want to meet this boy. And it's like a switch has been flipped now that I am 38 weeks---he can come anytime now and I will be less worried about his readiness. BUT. He is going to come when he is good and ready, so for now I'm mostly relaxed about it and not slamming pineapple cores or eating super spicy food to evict this child from the womb. Yet. It probably fluctuates by the hour, though;)
(still not looking all that pregs from the front, but for sure knocked up with the side view)
This is a peek into my brain for this entire pregnancy:
Weeks 5-12--->Holy crap, please stick, please stick, please be healthy, please show a heart beat, holy crap, I feel like crap, is this really happening? I'm tired, naps are the best, I might puke, please stick.
Weeks 13-28-->Holy crap, is this really happening? I'm really pregnant, I'm starving, please be healthy, please be healthy, please be healthy, holy crap, grow baby, grow.
Weeks 29-38--> Holy crap, this is really happening, please don't come too early, please don't come too early, please be healthy, I'm tired, grow baby, grow.
Weeks 38+ -->Holy crap, any day now, come on out baby, please start labor, please start labor, but I'm not ready yet, I'm ready now, I'm not ready yet, I cannot wait to meet him, I'm huge, I'm not so huge, I'm tired, I'm so so so tired, I'm ready, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm a mess. Please come out now.
It's so strange and so surreal to be at this stage of pregnancy. He could come tonight and he could come in two more weeks. NOBODY KNOWS and it's insane to have something as monumental as birthing a tiny human being as a 'maybe' each day. Messes with this Type A mind, because I have no control and I dislike that feeling quite a bit;)
So yeah, mentally I'm playing the mind game of the final weeks of pregnancy. A bit moody and lacking patience, for sure, but hanging in there. The kids seemed especially testy last week and really pushed a lot of buttons on my parenting switch board---some buttons I didn't know I had. I mean, my normally sweet, happy, lets-all-get-along children seemed to fight like mortal enemies all.day.long. Picking on each other, refusing to listen, lots of tears, time-outs, etc...fun times. It's either my lack of patience that fueled this naughtiness or they can sense change in the air. Or it was just a bad week. Here's hoping!
Physically I'm just really freaking tired. Like, first trimester-going-to-pass-out-mid-sentence tired. In fact, on Sunday I had to take a 1.5 hour nap at 10:30 am randomly. I slept HARD and dreamed and everything---very odd since I felt fine right before then, but it hit me and I had to sleeeeeeep. I find that I can't be too active with the kids for longer than an hour or so before I get crampy and notice more contractions. My back/rib feels better but isn't totally healed----maybe I'm just getting used to that type of pain? I really cannot wait to lay on my stomach again.
(Erin and I, 30 weeks versus 38 weeks. Likely our last comparison shot!! Will miss being pregnant with her but not *too* much when I have this baby to hold and she is going through the brutal final weeks.)
Baby boy feels so LOW it's nuts. I think I've dropped, am noticing more and more sharp 'zingers', and yet his movement hasn't slowed down a bit. Strong little bugger in there, I think! I'm peeing all of the time, including at least once at night. It's pretty good sleep I'm getting but I really hate that 'explosive bladder' feeling that wakes me up around 4-5am each day. I'm a little hungrier lately and cannot get enough watermelon or Bomb Pops. Mmmmmmm.
I've decided that when I'm done with work (July 2, baby!), I might have a better mental outlook on life. Work is very difficult for me right now. It just takes everything I have, both mentally and physically, and it feels like it's one extra ball to juggle---I have very limited ball juggling abilities at this stage of pregnancy/summer/two kids/etc. I am worthless on work days after about 4pm and on my days home I can make it until about 8pm before my worth is lost. Once I'm on maternity leave, assuming baby boy is not yet here, I hope I feel extra relaxed and can just wait with a zen attitude/less exhaustion. I wish I could be finished RIGHT NOW, trust me, but four more work days and I'm there. One day at a time, man.
Comments of the week:
-''Are you SURE that's a boy in there?'' Yes, thank you.
-"You look tired." Thank you.
-"Your belly looks like a pancake." -Truman one morning staring at my bare belly (?)
-"You look like you could be pregnant for two more months." Agggghhhhhhhh, noooooooo!
-"Why three kids? Most people have two or four. With three, there will always be someone left out." Huh? Haven't heard that one before and I feel like a lot of families have three.
-"That baby looks REALLY small." Didn't know you had xray vision to see how big my babies are, thankyouverymuch.
And this would be why I do NOT feel small, most of the time. Major change from my pre-pregnancy self, and even from week 17...when I happened to wear the same shirt as now. Hahahahaha. Wow. My hair is getting longer, too! Boobs/belly/butt = woah.
My predictions/in a perfect world:
If I had my way, I think I'd like to have baby boy this weekend. Or maybe July 1. That seems like a fantastic birthday to me! I'd be exactly 39 weeks, Truman was a first-of-the-month baby, and we could be home from the hospital by the Fourth of July. I predict that I will go into labor in the evening since I always feel so many more contractions/labor-could-be-coming vibes at night. It could even happen some evening after work since that's when I'm cashed out completely. I think it will go pretty quickly once it actually happens, and I really hope that I can enjoy my final labor and delivery experience without a lot of anxiety/pain/negativity that sometimes creeps into those intense moments before/after birth. There is just so much that can go wrong and I haven't felt a lot of panic this time around until right now. Maybe it's just because we are so close and this pregnancy has been so calm----keeping my head in the game, trusting that all is well with mister man, and looking forward to holding him in my arms. Soon.
Or I could play the guessing game for another two weeks and be overdue by the end of it. I know. Torture. We will see, no point in trying to plan just yet....because no matter what he is coming SOON, you guys!!!
Highlights of last week:
Treating myself to a fabulous mani/pedi for no reason but because I'm super pregnant and treats are a must right now. Quick pool dates with the whole family both on Tues and Friday evenings. Walking to the Farmers Market Saturday morning, a coffee shop Sunday morning, ice cream Saturday night...lots of walking and fresh air! Starbucks alone time with my laptop on Thursday. Cleaning and organizing the house, as always. And lots of progress made in the basement remodel!
At 38 weeks with Truman, I birthed him! I was in labor for almost two full days but out he came. I remember taking this picture the night before we went to the hospital---definitely retaining fluid with the high BP and oh, first time belly was so 'flat' looking to me! There was a 7lb10oz baby in there, you guys. And now his brother is just chilling out inside, getting ready to meet us. Sigh. (Totally wore this shirt on purpose this time, remembering I wore it at 38 weeks with T).
At 38 weeks with Cecelia: marveling that my BP was still good and I was the most pregnant I had ever been. I had a growth US because CC suddenly measured behind, but all was well. Jealous that I got to see her again! I guess I got growth ultrasounds with both babies before birth, but not this time (so far). The fatigue, cervical and ovary zingers, LOW feeling belly, and weight gain are all identical to this time around. I guess somehow I managed to hang in there for another 11 days even though I really hoped to go 'soon' and 'early'. Very reassuring to read this! I still think this third time belly is a little rounder on top and bigger than last time but it's hard to say for sure. Wish I would have worn the same shirt with CC as I did with T and this baby!
And because it's fun, the last weekly pictures I will have from all three pregnancies together:
Or black and white, bare bellies if you prefer:
Had Truman technically a few days before that picture, Cecelia came 11 days later, and WHO KNOWS about Baby 3? Isn't it interesting to see how differently my bump can be with each child? So much flatter and higher with Truman, then low and round on bottom with CC, and now round on top and I think a little bigger. Also: gained 43 lbs/36 lbs/30 lbs at each of these points. And of course boy/girl/boy. I love comparison shots----can't do another one of all three bellies after today!