A random update in the name of typing as my therapy:
First/best thing: Mom is visiting us again, as one final time together before I return to work. This round she will be here for twelve days and holy man, it's always ridiculously amazing to have her here with us. Being able to keep Porter at home with mom as I walk Truman to school, or pick Cecelia up from Lori's, or run errands....it's just so much easier with her help, obviously! Because baby still despises his car seat and I just cannot deal anymore. Not to mention that the big kids eat up the added attention from mom like nothing else. Mom brings all kinds of Pinterest-y craft projects to keep them entertained, she helps with meals, and is basically just the best grandma anyone could imagine. For real. We are so lucky/blessed to have her.
Now. I return to work on September 29th, which is about a week-and-a-half away. Totally crazy to think it's that time already, especially since I took a whopping 12.5 weeks off from work. Of course, the first week of my leave I spent overdue and super pregnant but that seems like a different lifetime ago. I just don't know where the time has gone despite trying to be present and enjoy this time at home.
I guess it *is* Fall, anyway.
Here is the kicker: I'm really surprising myself this time and feel that sense of dread when I think about going back to work. Which is not at all like me, since I *do* enjoy my three days per week as a PT. It's personally rewarding to help other people, to get out of the house, to have a routine, to use my therapist brain....I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I love my job. The biggest being 'balance.'
But I just feel....tired thinking about being 'professional' right now. It's just one more thing. One more adjustment, right when we are sorta kinda getting into a groove with three kids. One more thing to conquer when I admittedly feel stretched fairly thin at the moment. How can I do one more thing and remain semi-sane? How am I going to treat patients on such microscopic amounts of sleep? How can I seriously tackle the game of pumping and calculating milk ounces and bottles? Plus the schedule shuffling of *three* kids? Of course I will also miss my baby boy while we are away, but my dread is more related to mustering up energy to deal with another change. Did I mention that I'm really tired?
Oh, how I love them even through my sleep deprivation.
I think I can. I think I can. I'm sorry for whining when I know I'm lucky to have a great, flexible, rewarding job. I'm just sort of dreading the next phase of digging deep to find extra energy and whatnot. Perhaps you will understand.
So I will do my absolute best to savor these last days at home without the added role of being a part-time PT. Maternity leave is just the best. But I know I can handle being a working mom again, too. Especially since we'll have all day Tues and Thurs and evenings and weekends to ignore my job;)
Heck, maybe having Porter at Lori's a few days per week will be a very good thing anyway. She is awesome with baby schedules and routine and will probably do a great job of getting him to take *real* naps. I just hope he doesn't start to dig the bottle more than my boobs. Feeling very anxious about that possibility, too---since he still has random days when he really hates to nurse. I told Nate that Porter is definitely my most difficult baby to nurse and he's only two months old! Snacking for five minutes, then pulling off and crying when the flow slows down, getting angry if I attempt to continue with the session? Not the worst thing in the world, no, but still really stressful when I feel like my baby has to be starving and he's not willing to nurse to get his food. Sigh.
Moving on. Porter is ten weeks old now (!!) and sporadic nursing issues aside, he's doing really well. He's ridiculously smiley and adorable and we are all BIG fans of this sweet baby (duh). His sleeping skills are a little less than outstanding, however, and I've stopped looking at the clock at night because ignorance is bliss. Makes me less tired when I'm not calculating the broken sleep we're getting. I did note that last night he made it until 1:30 in his swing which was HUGE 5.5 hours, and then was up again at 4:30 until 5:15 once he was in our room. Not bad! But unfortch, most nights he's up quite a bit more than twice. And naps anywhere but in the Ergo or my lap are a joke, but he did make it for two 40 minute naps in the swing today. So whatever, he is sort of sleeping. Sometimes;)
Chin dimple is sticking around.
(ah, the life of a third child)
I just cannot.
So the baby is awesome! Thankfully he kicked whatever bug landed him in the ER by the next day.
After the fun of taking my newborn to the ER, Truman barfed all over the couch and rug the following day last week. It totally came out of nowhere and cleaning up his vomit while Porter screamed for me in the other room, CC cried because the puke scared her....well, it was a low moment for sure. But Truman felt better after that and we all survived that little episode.
Next up after baby in the ER then barf? Truman's eye swelled shut one morning after we noticed a few bug bites on his face the day before. Like, woah. WHAT? I know. It's been a weird week.
Mom thought she noticed a bug bite on T's left cheek on Sunday night after we had played outside that evening. Monday I for sure noticed a bite on his cheek and one on his left ear, and his left eye seemed a little puffy. It seemed to get a lot worse that day and looked like this at night.
Hmmm. We figured we'd have to see if it magically went away or what---since he has had a few bug bites that seem to blow up a bit. Once it was this SAME EYE (??!!) and it was better the next morning, and the other time he had a reaction on his arm. Both times it went away over night, pretty much.
Well, Tuesday he woke up like this. CRAP. OMGGGGGGG.
I kept him home from school, gave him Benadryl, and got him into the doctor (again, SO glad mom was here to keep the other kids at home for this!). The doc thought it was likely just an allergic reaction to the bug bites, because at this point it looked like two small bites above his eyebrow plus the one on his cheek and another on his ear. But since it looked so awful and you don't want to mess around with the eye, he also prescribed antibiotics for a possible infection. He said *if* it was infected it could spread very quickly to his eye socket and eye itself...and then we'd be in big trouble. The doc said if the meds didn't help and his eye was more swollen the next morning, or not any better, we had to take him directly to the ER. Sounds familiar. At least I know where it is now.
After starting the meds and giving Claritin, it looked better. This is him on Tuesday in the morning versus the evening.
The next morning (Wednesday) it was even better. He went to school and it started to look mostly normal by the end of the day. Morning versus evening.
Just such an odd place to get four bug bites, right? The doc thought they looked like mosquito bites but I think it's really weird for a mosquito to go nuts on one side of his face like that. He actually did have another episode of eye swelling about three weeks ago, after what we thought was a mosquito bite under his eyebrow. Very weird to have this happen twice, although this last time was MUCH worse with the swelling. Who knows. Just hope it doesn't happen again and have changed his sheets, searched his bed, and vacuumed like a mad woman in case it was a spider. (Shudder).
What else besides my mom visiting, me dreading the end of maternity leave, a baby who is awesome but giving me a run for my money with eating and sleeping, puke, and a scary swollen eye? Is that enough for one post?
(weirdos! Love them!)
Oh yes, I also submitted Porter's nursery to Project Nursery. Just because. Rate it for me if you'd like;)
And the Moms Make it Work series is still chugging along but I will only be posting on Mondays at this point, instead of twice per week.
And Cecelia is wearing pony tails these days. TOO BIG. SLOW DOWN CHILDREN!
And I've had afternoon Starbucks five out of the last six days. Whoops. Tough habit to break. Yikes.
And I'm wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans which is a big enough milestone to celebrate with Starbucks, I'd say. Can't really believe this baby was inside of me just two months ago! The human body is freaking crazy.
I think I'm out of random updates and I know you must be disappointed;) Happy weekend!