Moms Make it Work: Priscilla | Full Time Working, Military Mom

Today on the Moms Make it Work series is Priscilla, and her sister-in-law is a blog reader that suggested she write for our series. Priscilla works full time and part of those hours are spent working from home, along with traveling a bit for her job. Her husband is in the military (we've had so many awesome military families featured in this series!!) and she doesn't have family in her area, so that means she does a fair share of solo parenting, too. Priscilla just started blogging at Lola's World Unveiled and is very honest about her current situation: it's harder than she expected but worth it! Enjoy!

I found out about Julia’s blog from a good friend of mine, my sister-in-law actually. She was the one that told me about the “Moms Make It Work” series. When I looked into it I thought it was such a great idea. Showcasing different moms from all over and sharing their story and how they make it work. So I decided to give it a try and tell you my story.  I actually just started blogging, my sister-in-law was the one that got me into it. I do enjoy it and when I have the free time I sit and just write about my life experiences. If you want to check out my blog and read my story you can find me @ “Lola’s World Unveiled.” Until then, this is how I make it work….

What is your background Story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And where are you now?

I waited a long time before I even entertained the idea of becoming a mom let alone a wife for that matter. While I was going to school for my Bachelors and throughout primarily my whole life I had a vision of who I thought I was going to become. I have always envisioned myself becoming a great success. I didn’t know where my journey was going to lead up entirely, but what I did know was that I was going to live in New York City and make a ton of money. I never saw myself getting married or let alone having children until maybe my thirties, if at all. Everything I did in life I tried to succeed at and be the best at it. So when I thought of having a family it wasn’t something that I was looking for, even though I did want one eventually. I always felt that having a family would have hindered me from my goals in life and it wasn’t what I pictured for myself. It’s hard enough for a woman to achieve great success in the working environment and I didn’t want anything to get in my way. But then one day HE came along, and that all changed.

Before I became a Mom I had a Bachelors and was going for my Master’s. I graduated with my Master’s when my baby was only a month old. I was also working as a Sales Manager for a high end Fashion Company while living in New Jersey. Life was good, I was making good money and living a pretty fantastic life. Everything seemed to be going in the right direction, I had a wonderful husband and a fabulous life, what more could I ask for.

The million dollar question, where am I now?

I am living across the country in the furthest place I’d ever find myself from where I started (California), with a three year boy and a husband who is in the U.S Marine Corps. That’s right, this girl right here is a military wife, who would have known?! I work as a Sales Manager for an Engineering Company in San Diego. Life is good right now, I can finally say that things are getting back to how they use to be. It took some time to get to where I am now and the journey was a bumpy one, but it only made me a stronger person. Having a child has really put things in different perspectives but also made me view life differently. Being a mommy is probably one of the best things that could have happen to me. It definitely had its challenges in the beginning because it was uncharted territory for me and I had to give up a lot of myself for it. I made a ton of sacrifices with work and my career moves but it was all worth it.

The Best Parts and the Challenges of my situation?

Best part of my situation is being able to see my baby boy grow up, while managing my career and being a wife all at the same time. I’m so blessed to have a job that gives me the flexibility I need to still be a mom and still get my job done. I do have to travel at times for work but the perks are being able to work from home half the time. So I’m still able to spend that quality time with my little one. Not to mention that being a military wife doesn’t make matters any better for me and sometimes puts a significant strain on life. Being able to travel the world and go to places I would never live in, if it weren’t for my husband’s career can be pretty cool at times. But this too is a great challenge for me, because I find myself living in his shadow and following his dreams rather than mine. It’s a catch 22.

Not to mention my husband has a strenuous job and crazy work schedule. At the moment he is a Drill Instructor, so what that means for me is that I have to play the role of mommy and daddy 80 percent of the time. I basically play the role of a single mom with a husband, if that makes any sense at all. He is always gone and sometimes is away for days at a time. Luckily this is only a three year duty so once it’s done he will go back to a regular schedule, but for now it’s all work and no play. It definitely puts all the pressure on me to balance the household and everything in it. It can be hard at times but my motto is "what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger." Luckily it’s not forever.

Is this what I thought it would be like and is it my ideal situation?

This is not what I thought it would be like at all, considering the fact that I live 3000 miles away from my friends and family. However, for the moment it works for me. This is where God and fate led me and I strongly feel that my future was destined to be where I am at. I’m with the love of my life and have a beautiful healthy boy so I can’t complain.

My ideal situation would probably be to have another baby. I think about having another baby at times especially now more than ever because my three year old is getting so big. What do they call it, “baby fever” but with baby comes a ton more responsibility, which I know I can handle. However, at this point in time it probably wouldn’t be the smartest move for me. I am finally getting to a place in my career that can bring great success and having another baby might delay things for me, which scares me. It’s a catch 22 for women that want to achieve success in the workforce but still maintain a family. I guess my situation is a bit more complex because my husband’s career can sometimes battle mine without meaning to. Moving every so often because of the military is really challenging when you’re trying to make a name for yourself as a working woman. Being a mom and wanting to have a successful career is difficult to begin with but I never thought I would be going up against my husband’s career and his success too. I wasn’t oblivious to the military life and I knew what I was getting myself into when I married him, I just didn’t think it would be this hard. However, he is the man of my dreams and just like having my son, putting myself on hold is what I would do for the two loves of my life. I just hope I don’t have any regrets in the future.

Tips on how you make your situation work for you?

I honestly don’t know. I feel like I am super mom. My situation is tougher than most because I live across the country from my family and close friends. So having the ability to say “Mom I’m dropping off your grandson” is not an option. One thing I will say that works for me is communication, communication, communication with the husband. Since it’s just us two and I do majority of the work when he is not around, I make sure that he knows everything that goes on at home and work. So whether it’s texting or leaving voicemails, my husband is always in the loop. And because I work from home half the time it’s not too bad for me. Daycare is always a big help! Not to mention a glass of wine at night while the little one is sleeping, keeps me sane!

How do you handle mommy guilt?

When I first put my son in daycare, I was so devastated. He is my baby and I didn’t want anyone taking care of him but me. But I couldn’t stay at home forever and money doesn’t grow on trees. Although staying at home started to drive me a little stir crazy and I found myself longing to get back in the real world having adult conversations.  Luckily after a couple of weeks the mommy guilt slowly faded. Besides, he loves daycare and just to see him smile as he says goodbye to me when I drop him off makes me realize I made the right decision.

Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work or if staying home is the right choice?

It will get better! It’s always difficult in the beginning because you are not sure if going back to work makes you a bad mom, but trust me it doesn’t. I feel that it’s good for us to get back to work, because it balances life out. Don’t get me wrong I know plenty of stay at home moms that love to be at home with their kids all day, and hey I commend them. But if you don’t have the luxury to stay at home because you need the dual income or if you just want to work because it’s what you love to do. Just know it does get better and only makes us working mommies that much stronger.

What will the next 5-10 years bring?

 Hopefully, the next five years is going to be about me and my success. I have followed my husband long enough and now it’s my time to shine and luckily he is more than happy to join me in the ride to our success as a family. Fingers crossed that all this education I have, will be my ticket into all my dreams that I left behind the moment I said yes! And hopefully somewhere along the lines baby number two comes along. There is no telling what the future will have in store for me. Hopefully the possibilities are endless, and if you want to read along in my journey you’re more than welcome too. It’s an interesting story to say the least.

{Thanks, Priscilla! To find the rest of the MMIW series click here}