Moms Make it Work: Megan in Kansas

Today we have Megan posting for our Moms Make it Work series, one of my 'internet friends' who happily agreed to write her take on this post. Megan is a SAHM to two adorable boys and I love her view on 'grace in parenting.' So true that we all need to grant ourselves a little more grace and not dwell on guilt. Thanks for sharing, Megan. Enjoy!



Hey all!  My name is Megan, and I (very sporadically) blog over at Girl Meets Life, but will most likely be found more on Instagram as @megkeith.  I’m married to Tyler, and we have two amazing boys, Jaxon who is 5, and Cohen who is 3 ½!

Wow Julia… how far back do we even go?  We met on the D&R board of The Nest back in 2005? 2006?... something like that.  We’ve been “blog buddies” ever since and I have loved watching our two worlds change sooo much since those good ‘ole D&R days!

Anyway… here we go!

-What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And now where are you?

I am a small town Iowa girl through and through!  I loved my childhood and met my sweet husband in high school when we started dating in 9^th grade!  I’m honestly trying to remember what I wanted to be when I grew up… it changed daily!  I felt called to go into Music Ministry, so I packed up my small town Iowa girl bag and left for Colorado Springs, where I graduated with a degree in Music Ministry.  My high school sweet heart, then fiancé, attended college in Denver, so we got married at the young age of 18 and 19 and started life together!  After he graduated, we moved where his first job took us, to Palm Springs, California.  Since then, we’ve moved 7 other times!  It’s been a wild ride, to say the least, but one that I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Oh, okay, back to my career.  After I graduated from college, I kind-of took on this “house wife” role, and because we lived in each place for such a short time, I never got back into ministry.  I took a couple different bank (management) jobs, and though it was something I never really loved, it helped pay the bills! 

Then one beautiful July morning, we found out we were pregnant with our first baby!  During my entire pregnancy, I thought I’d be the one exception to the Moms who had a hard time coming back to work… I remember telling my boss “see you in 6 short weeks!” as I left for maternity leave, honestly thinking I’d look forward to coming back.

Ha. Ha. Haaaa!

Jaxon rocked my world in the most amazing way, changing my heart forever.  Due to our tight budget, we knew I needed to work, so most days I cried the entire commute there, while leaving my precious baby at home or with the sitter.  I hated, HATED, every moment away from him and we started trying to figure out how I could stay home, something I never thought I’d want to do!  Unfortunately, we were never able to make our financial situation work out “on paper”, so I continued to work… until one day, I (very very unexpectedly) got let go from my job.  I’m sure you’re expecting me to say “yayyy!”, but 2 months prior to this, my husband had also been laid-off from his position, so I was the sole income at this point.  It was a heart wrenching situation, where he ended up taking a temporary job in Colorado, away from us, and so many other hard obstacles we faced for about a year. During this time, we ALSO found out I was pregnant again!  Because Tyler was away for work, and because I was pregnant, I stayed home with Jaxon (still thinking it was only temporary), but The Lord somehow worked it out that I never needed to go back to work.  Man, it’s been tough, and most months we still REALLY struggle financially!  But my dependence on HIM has grown ten-fold!  And I love the way The Lord KNEW the deep desire of my heart, to stay home with my babies, and even though His way of giving this job to me was by going through some REALLY hard situations… I now have the best job ever!  I am not sure if I would have ever been able to trust Him enough to provide for our finances, if my job wouldn’t have been taken from me unexpectedly.  I can almost guarantee I’d still be stuck at that bank, hating it!  Every time I “relive” our story, I am reminded of HIS goodness, HIS faithfulness, and how He truly does have our best interests at heart.

So anyway!  Besides being a Full Time Mama, I am also super heavily involved in our church. I lead a couple different ministries, as well as serve on our worship team.  I also have my own photography business, Megan Keith Photography, and am heavily involved in our gym as well.  Sometimes I love being so busy, other times I wish I could drop everything and just focus on my babies.  I need to somehow find an in-between… but that’s another post for another day.  :)

-What are the best parts of your situation? What are the biggest challenges? 

Let’s start with the hard parts.

Umm… where to begin.  :)

The ways I struggle with MY identity (outside of being a Mommy), feeling like I don’t get enough “me” time, Mom guilt (ughhh!), feeling tired constantly, never being able to NOT be at work, sick days or lack-there-of, trying to juggle my many different responsibilities, fighting this unrealistic expectation to “have it all together”… do I need to continue?

But the best part?  It’s cliché, I know, but just being with my babies.  I love that my “job” is to be a Mom.  Anything else above and beyond that is just extra.  I’m their person… I’m the one caring for them, loving them, playing with them, cooking for them, comforting them.  Even on the long, hard, exhausting days, I am so thankful that I was chosen to be their Mama.

 

-Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?

Honestly, I can’t even remember what I expected it to be like.  Other than knowing I would never let my kids do this, this, or this… all things that my kids currently do.  And knowing that I would never have a child who acted out in public… haaa!  Everyone is the perfect parent BEFORE they actually become a parent, yes?

-Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?

For now, I think it is.  I am so thankful for this “content” feeling I have most days.  Just happy with where we are.  Yes – there’s always something that could be better.  But I have a husband who adores me and works hard for our family, and two boys.  Life is good.

-Do you see yourself making a career change in the next 5-10 years, or is this current set up staying put for the long haul?

Ideally, I’d love to work in ministry again at some point.  My dream job would be to be an Admin for a Worship Pastor part time, while my boys are in school, so I could still be home with them when they are home.  On the other hand, I can see myself happy just being a homemaker and Mama to the boys when they get home from school.  Thankfully, that’s a few years off!  So much could change by then!

  -Tips on how you make this work for you?

For me, I have found I am the best Mom to the boys and the best wife to Tyler when I am consistently spending time with the Lord, AND when I also have alone time to myself to do whatever I’d like.  Whether that’s a mid-day nap time show I like to watch, or sneaking out in the evening to a coffee shop alone, or spending time with friends… it doesn’t really matter what it is, but I have to have time to myself.  It makes me a better Mom.

Another tip: BEDTIME!  Not only yours, but be consistent with your kids bedtime as well.  Not only will this help with behavior issues, but manohmanohman, I LOVE my quality time with Tyler after the boys go to bed.  Usually we’re just watching something on TV that isn’t a cartoon, but we’re together.  Without little boy interruptions.  I always struggle the following day if we don’t have this time together the night before!

-How do you handle mommy guilt?

I don’t think it matters what position you find yourself in, there’s always some kind of guilt attached to it.  Working Moms feel guilty that they don’t spend “enough” time with their kids, Stay at Home Moms feel guilty for not contributing to the family finances or for “wasting” their college degrees. 

For me, any time I feel guilty about something, I just try and change it.  So, maybe my kids watched way too much TV that day and now I’m feeling guilty about it… the following day I just try and monitor closely.  Maybe one day I feel guilty about spending too much time on my computer editing pictures (or on Facebook, ha!)… the following day I try and only get on while they are sleeping.  I’m a work in progress.  I like to believe there’s lots of grace in parenting!  And on the days that I feel like I absolutely screwed up in every way possible, they are there the next morning to greet me with the biggest hug and kiss, and we get to start over fresh.  I’m so thankful for grace!

-How do meals work in your family? Meal planning? How often do you grocery shop? Who does that task in the family?

I do this task, as well as most tasks around our house!  Every once in a while I will recruit Tyler’s help, but 9.5 times out of 10, I take care of it.

I meal plan one week in advance, and grocery shop every week and a half.  If I wait until week 2 to grocery shop, we end up eating out because we’re out of food, and if I grocery shop 1x a week, I spend too much per month!  So I have found every week and a half is just about perfect. 

When we first got married I was horrible about meal planning and our grocery bill and eating out budget was ridiculous!  Now, because of our tight budget, I have to stay on top of meal planning and grocery shopping.  Our youngest son, Cohen, LOVES to be on “the go” so I usually bring him with me… that’s one of our ‘treats’ we do together while Jaxon is at school!

I know a lot of people dread this chore, and it’s not my favorite thing ever, but because I am a “planner” by nature, it’s something that comes fairly natural to me.

-How do you keep the house clean? Power cleaning after bedtime? Staying out of the house as much as possible? Cleaning while kids are awake? Purging stuff often?

Each day, I pick up the house.  Whether that’s throughout the day, during nap time, or in the evening, if I don’t spend time picking up each day, I lose my mind.  So that is is an EVERY day priority for me.

I also try and do some light cleaning each day.  Whether that’s a load of laundry, vacuuming, organizing a closet, etc… I try and do something small each day to stay on top of things.

Then, usually one morning a week, I clean like a crazy lady.  Yep, my kids watch too much TV that particular morning of the week.  I spend 2-3 hours DEEP cleaning my house and am usually done by lunchtime.  (one perk of living in a tiny rental home!) If we happen to be home that weekend, I spend my Saturday doing this, while my husband watches the kids.  I love the way I feel afterwards!  I’m a weirdo and don’t hate cleaning.  Even though it’s also not something I love, the way I feel afterwards when my house is clean is priceless!

-When do you find time to blog? 

Ha. I don’t. :)

I need to be better about this though, because I genuinely miss it and know that one day I’ll regret not staying on top of it!

(Thanks, Megan! Find the rest of the MMIW series here.)