Powder

Once upon a time, there was a man named Nate who was forced to use an outdated drivers license. By "outdated" I mean that the picture was seven years old, and let's just say that a lot has changed in seven years.

Every time Nate presented this outdated ID the inevitable happened. It would go something like this:

clerk: Are you sure this is you?
nate: Um, yeah, why?
clerk: Because you have so much hair in the picture.
nate: Gee, thanks for noticing, buddy. That was seven years ago. Let me just go throw myself out of a window now.

Or maybe something more along these lines:

clerk: So is that a 5 o'clock shadow on your head?
nate: What the hell does that mean?
clerk: Well, my son shaves his head every morning and gets a 5 o'clock shadow each day.
nate: Hmmm, it's only noon and this is my real hair. Not just a shadow, lady.

As if that wasn't hard enough on the old chap, his fiancee forced him to take professional pictures throughout the year of their engagement. One particular afternoon, Nate decided to take his shaver down a notch or two-- just to see how a shorter cut would look. Well, sure enough, the next day was a scheduled engagement session. When the pictures arrived, Nate's fiancee joyously asked, "Don't you just LOVE these pictures?" Nate became very quiet and didn't utter a word for a few minutes. Then he proclaimed, "I effing hate the pictures." To which his fiancee replied, "Why, darling? They are so wonderful!" Nate then said, "Because I look like freaking POWDER in them." Nate went on to blame the Browers' poor camera lens and the crappy natural lighting used for the outdoor shots. It certainly couldn't be his own fault for shaving his head too short.

Nate's fiancee tried to console him with the notion that MANY bald men are sexy. For example: [She wasn't really sure who the last guy was, but Nate seemed to like the correlation.]

And so, embracing male pattern baldness, they lived happily ever after. And had fond memories of Powder. :)