First time posting this a day early, but I have good reason since today was the loooooongest day in the history of my pregnancies. It seems like it could be Tuesday already and I think I aged at least a year today, so who cares if I round up one day with my weekly post? Might as well commemorate all of the word vomit while it's fresh on my (lost) mind--aren't you lucky??
Also: Most pregnant I've ever been! Yay! Cool! Technically 39w6d as I type this on 7.7.14. New territory is fun.
Well, let's just start with the fact that I was convinced I was in labor allllllll day today. I woke up at 3:30 am with semi-painful contractions and noticed they were about 9 minutes apart. I finally got out of bed around 4:30 and began timing them on my phone. Sure enough, anywhere from 4-5 minutes apart and then sometimes 8-9 minutes apart, lasting 60-90 seconds, and really uncomfortable. I will not call them 'painful' though---but I couldn't ignore them. They were different than the other weeks of random contractions. They woke me up in the middle of the night and stuck around. Has to be a good sign, right?
Plus, the more intense discomfort spread over my whole belly, the fact that they were so regular, some GI issues, some spotting, and the fact that it really just felt like THIS IS THE DAY had me convinced. Sigh.
I told Nate I wanted him to stay at home, although he had planned to work today as his only work day this week, since I was pretty sure this would be baby day. I took my first walk of the day around 5 am and contractions would hit hard during the walk, then at home they'd go back to being anywhere from 6-9 minutes apart and tolerable.
Nate took the kids to Lori's as planned, and Truman was so freaking excited to meet his brother. He demanded to wear his 'Big Bro' tee today and wanted CC to wear her 'Big Sis' shirt. My heart almost exploded from his sweetness--he was a little weepy when leaving this morning but CC had no clue and didn't care at all. How fun to say, 'Yaya might have to pick you up from Lori's today if mommy and daddy are at the hospital. But you can come and visit us if that happens, okay?' I never promised him it would be today but in my gut I really thought it was.
Say goodbye to mommy before she births your brother....oh, wait.
Second walk of the day. Contractions still about the same for intensity and frequency. Nate got home and immediately started cleaning out the cars and the garage, and then proceeded to do some stuff in the basement. Nesting daddy, I suppose;) I was bouncing on the ball, took a second walk, and obsessed over timing these contractions. Why weren't they getting worse? Why wasn't my water breaking? No bloody show or anything to give me a sign that baby boy was on his way? I tried climbing our stairs, squatting, talking to baby and God and my own unstable brain. IT WAS NOT WORKING.
I called the OB office around 10 and the triage nurse called me back after talking to my doctor---basically, I could come in if I wanted to but she didn't want me to have to labor at the hospital all day long. She would prefer that something BIG happened: contractions consistently 5-6 min apart, more pain, broken water, blood, etc. I agreed and said I'd just walk again and see what happened.
Answer: nothing new. At all. Nate and I ate lunch at home, hung out, and then finally around 1:00 Nate convinced me we needed to get out of the house and run errands. ACE hardware, Buy Buy Baby, and a McFlurry at McDonalds all happened...while I was 'sort of' in labor. Constantly thinking 'please, let my water break. Please let me cripple over in pain.' We had our bags packed and in the van in case. And? Nope. Nothing new. I stopped timing the contractions at this point because why bother? They weren't painful but they were consistent. I was in slipping into a dark mental place at this point. Also Nate is really into force feeding me junk food lately---I am not complaining but he keeps pushing ice cream and pizza and all sorts of sweets on me, since he thinks that will somehow help labor (or my mental state?). Okay!
So happy here. Trying to decide if I look like I'm in labor....or just really really frustrated. Correct answer: B.
When we came back home from the errands, we took a long walk together around 2pm (my fourth of the day, yep). I told Nate that I felt sort of embarrassed that nothing was happening. This is not my first rodeo. What in the hell is wrong with my body? Was I making these contractions up in my head? Letting everyone down? I know my friends and family who were on high alert all day, watching their phones for updates aren't MAD at me or anything. I'm not trying to be dramatic by faking labor. We all just want baby boy here, but still. It's easy to get a little depressed with false labor lasting an entire day, one day before my due date...when I honestly thought I would have this child 'early' and here we are---latest I've ever been. Serves me right, I suppose.
Nate is still the most amazing mediator for my craziness. He said all of the right things (such as 'chill out right now') to remind me that it's all going to be okay. So what if baby doesn't come today? He will come eventually. And Nate liked to remind me that this might be like Truman's birth: I was convinced nothing would ever happen with my induction (since it didn't for the first 1.5 days on Pitocin) and that I'd need a c-section. I might have freaked out and broken down a few times along that way. And then my water broke and Truman shot out of there 3 hours later. Even with Cecelia's labor, I wasn't quite convinced anything was truly happening until the pain was OBVIOUS and we went to the hospital, birthing baby girl just 4 hours later. I know. It can happen quickly. That part makes me anxious, too. What if I wait too long and have the baby in the car? I want my likely last labor experience to be as positive as possible, not stressful and rushed and scary. So many unknowns.
He said he is not disappointed in me or my body, that the anticipation is sort of fun, and it will all work out. Again, I love that man. He made me laugh and lighten up and gain some perspective. Which I really really needed at that point, obviously.
I'm not sure I ever updated the blog after my OB appointment last Thursday, but all was well. Good BP, measured one week behind (dropped more?), no weight gain (!?), and heart rate 150. No changes in my cervix, though--still nearly 2 cm but nothing more. We scheduled an induction for this Friday at 40w3d if needed so at least there is an end date in sight. She was originally going to induce me on my due date, since she is on call that day, but the hospital wasn't allowing elective inductions that day due to some electrical upgrade or something. Last week I was relieved we were giving baby boy a few extra days to decide his own birthday but now I WISH we were going in tomorrow!
Well, I wish a lot of things. I wish my water would break. That I would have a 'sign' or a big change in these contractions. Which are STILL happening 17 freaking hours after I first started timing them this morning. I'm not tracking them and truly do not even care how often they come. Unless I'm doubled over in pain or my water breaks, I'm assuming that Friday is the day. I need to move on mentally so if nothing is happening, why can't the contractions just go away? We have the next three full days at home together as a family and I want to enjoy them, instead of constantly thinking 'was that one more painful? Was it closer together? IS THIS IT?' Maddening. I can't anymore.
Yes, I've tried nearly all of the natural induction methods out there and I'm over it. Apparently my body is not ready or baby boy is just really freaking comfortable in there. I'm not even overdue YET and I feel so mentally and physically spent after today.... I cannot imagine doing this type of roller coaster for 3 more days. Please stop, contractions. Or ramp up---but I'm not going to pay attention anymore, so make it obvious, will you?
If I hadn't had all of this false labor today, I think I'd be totally fine to coast along this week and focus on the good stuff. All of last week was great, the weekend was fantastic and I was able to focus on the moment and not worry too much about the WHEN will baby come stuff. But today has just sort of sucked and I want the contractions to stop now. Since, obviously, I'm getting everything I want with these final days and it's all about me. Whine, whine, whine, I know. I'm sure a lot of you can understand on some level----the end is just tough, man. Especially when you spend a day convinced you'll have a baby in a matter of hours and you do not.
One thing that stands out from today that was very very uplifting: seeing my sweet kids after daycare. Nate picked them up while I napped a bit (i.e. threw in the towel on timing contractions). I was so worried that Truman would be confused/disappointed to see baby in my belly instead of at the hospital. But instead, I got a huge hug and kiss from both kids. They were so happy to see me and couldn't stop talking all about their days. I told them that '(Baby's name) didn't come out today, but he will soon,' and Truman simply said, 'Okay, maybe the next day.' That was it. God, I love that child. CC was especially adorable this evening, too, requesting to ride with me to pick up Panera (because: multiple daily treats, Yesssssssss) and talking the entire way. Both of them basically just confirmed that it's not a big deal and he will be here soon, so whatever. Life is good.
So that's where I'm at tonight. The most pregnant I've ever been and now the most false labor I've ever had. And probably the craziest I've been, too, but that's expected. Tomorrow is my due date and we have a family day at home planned. The 'maybe baby day' thoughts are being pushed aside in place of 'let's enjoy our family of four' thoughts. Because longest case scenario: he comes on Friday. I will not be pregnant forever. Amen.
(I'll try to update here each evening until I deliver if I can)
Updated later to add a highlight of last week:
Fourth of July is the best holiday ever! I love it so much. This year it was on a Friday which made it extra fun. We went to the local Tosa parade with Erin/Dave and met Dizzy/Andy and her sister Katie/Steve. Seriously PERFECT weather, the kids were in heaven with candy and each other. Lots of pictures were had. It was wonderful.
Later that day, after C's nap (and I think I took one, too?) we all walked to a local 'Family Fun Day' event at a playground. Tons of bounce houses and my new favorite Hawaiian shave ice was there. Then dinner at our house with Tony and Lois. Pretty much perfection. Summer is the best!!!