I have some big news for you guys today:
Yep. I'm pregnant. Again. This is the last time, I swear. No really. Seriously.
I'm 13w3d today, due on July 8th, 2017. Which was the exact same due date as Porter, three years apart. Mind blowing, right?
Let's just get right to it, shall we?
Q: Were you trying?
A: Nope. Without getting into ultra-specifics, let's just say that even when tracking your cycle and avoiding at fertile times, sometimes you have to just assume fertility beginning on day 9. Which is insanely early and perplexing but now we know it's completely possible. Nate and I had been discussing his future vasectomy for all of 2016, but he never bit the bullet. So, yeah, 2017 will be his year to get it done. Seriously.
Comment: But I thought you guys were done having kids!
Response: So did we! There was always a tiny voice in my head that didn't feel DONE, and that darn voice just wouldn't quit. But I did a swell job at quieting those thoughts by reminding myself of the plenty of reasons to stop at three kids. Because there were plenty of reasons to be done. Apparently we were meant to have four though, and it's going to be wonderful. A big family, full of even more noise and laughter and chaos....what a blessing!
Q: How is Nate handling this news?
A: (Furrowed brow from me) He hasn't been the one sick and tired and pregnant, so I'd say he's going to be just fine. Yes, he wasn't even sold on three kids and his famous quote this time was, 'Huh, I just always pictured us with two kids.' A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT NATE!
Q: Will you have to move?
No, but we will need to tackle our house addition soon! We've been getting quotes and talking to the bank and we might even move forward with it in the next few months. Yikes! But exciting.
Q: Will you quit your job and stay at home now?
Probably not, but who knows. I love my very part-time schedule and need that structure and balance. Then again, four kids is a totally different ballgame so never say never!
Q: Are you excited? Are you insane? You are so screwed. Four kids is a lot.
Yes, thank you for that. We are extremely excited now! Full disclosure: when I saw the two lines on a pregnancy test, I cried and they weren't happy tears. I was shocked and confused and in total disbelief. I mean, on October 28th, I was two days late with my period but my cycles were short, so I figured they were just lengthening out to normal. I took a test right before hopping in the shower and saw the positive test before getting in. I was so overwhelmed. It was surreal. I was nervous to tell Nate, scared for all of the changes this would bring, and sad for the loss of sleep/my new self post-babies.
I didn't tell Nate in a cute or thoughtful way. I simply tried not to think about it all day long while I was home with the kids, we put them to bed that night, and then as the two of us were sitting on the couch I knew I had to tell him.
Me: "So.....I was two days late.....and.....I took a test....."
Nate: "AND? YOU'RE PREGNANT?"
Me: (Nodding my head and wanting to cry).
Nate: (Throws head back and cackles, laughing) "Holy cow. Okay then!"
He honestly took the news better than I did at first. We talked about the logistics of having a fourth that we never pictured having. And over the next few days we started feeling less panicked and more excited.
And then I started to bleed pretty badly right before 6 weeks, JUST like I did with Cecelia. I'll go more into it in a later post, but after I bled I started to want this baby even more. It felt like, 'Wait a minute, don't take this baby away from me, we can do this!' I started praying for another miracle, just like we got with Cecelia.
We had two ultrasounds and saw the giant bleed get smaller. We saw a heartbeat. We continued to think positively. I decided to switch back onto my own medical insurance for 2017, so that I can see my beloved OB who I've had for the three other kids. And so my first real appointment isn't until January 10th, and I've only had those two ultrasounds and some HCG blood draws so far. Oh, and my home doppler---that is keeping me sane for sure.
Q: How have you been feeling this time?
A: Extremely exhausted, downright barfy, bloated, peeing a lot...the usual. I also had strep throat around week ten and seriously wanted to die. Luckily I could take Amoxicillin but not Ibuprofen. I would have done anything for some Ibuprofen with the fever I had. I was just starting to feel less awful before Strep, then that set me back a bit. But as of today I'm not napping daily and can function without needing to hurl, so hooray. I will say that being pregnant with my fourth child means caring for three other children at the same time, which always seems to make the first trimester exponentially harder!
Q: Will you find out the sex?
A: Duh, yes. You know me better than to wonder that! I am feeling like it's a girl because of the similarities to Cecelia's pregnancy and the early conception date. The kids all want a sister, too, which is adorable but a little scary because it could very well be a boy. Either way will be great, and no we haven't picked names yet. We will find out the sex sometime in February, I believe, since I'll be 20 weeks in mid-February. I didn't do the first trimester blood work that you can have at age 35 (!!), so we will just have to wait a bit longer.
Q: How did you tell the kids?
A: We waited until Christmas Day, right after I hit twelve weeks. I knew that as soon as we told Truman, the entire world would be aware of our news. It was hard to keep it a secret from them for so long but they reacted as expected, and it made this baby seem a lot more real! I have a video to share in another post but spoiler alert: Truman jumped up and down, Cecelia just stared at me, and Porter hit me and said, 'No, not funny.' TYPICAL.
Hopefully these details suffice for those in shock and horror right now;) I have plenty of drafted posts ready to go up each day until we are caught up in real time. Until then, here is a little slideshow I made to commemorate the first trimester. Newsflash: I started showing ridiculously early this time. It's like my uterus is an old pro or something.
FOUR! from Julia H. on Vimeo.