11 weeks | Baby #4 (Hidden Baby Chronicles)

12/21/16 | 11w4d

(Did I even take a weekly picture? I don't think I did. What am I going to do for weekly photos though, the old selfie in mirror seems so boring).

11w1d, no makeup, bathroom mirror:


Super late with this (hidden) post, but it's the week before Christmas and life is NUTS. I doubt next week will be much better and alas, I refuse to let this baby be undocumented. We will see if this inspiration continues through pregnancy and beyond, or if I just wave the white flag over consistent posts for baby. Poor fourth kid.

Things that happened this week: I got sicker than I have been in years. Last Thursday I woke up and seriously could barely stand up, couldn't shower, and wanted to puke. Also my throat hurt so badly I couldn't swallow. I eventually figured out that I was not going to work that day, and went to Urgent Care instead. Strep throat, positive rapid test. The rest of that day was seriously the worst and I was pretty anxious that the baby was going to shrivel up inside of me because I ate two popsicles and maybe one glass of water got down the hatch that day. Really, really rough.

Within three days I was back to normal, with Amoxicillin on board. I wanted to take Ibuprofen more than anything in this world for some relief with fever/aches but could not. At least I could get the meds! Then Lois tested positive, then I took Cecelia and Porter in since both seemed to have a cold and they were BOTH positive. The next day Nate woke up and wanted to die, and got his positive test that day. Holy strep bug, Batman. Very glad this wasn't all happening on Christmas Day itself or anything. Still, not great timing.

I used my Doppler a lot this week, mostly because I was feeling so horrible and wanted some assurance that baby was doing okay. The heartbeat is still fairly easy to find, but one day I felt like it was down from the usual 180s into the 160s and that bothered me a lot. Now it's usually at 160-170 and perhaps baby is just getting big enough that the heart isn't pumping quite as crazy-fast? Trying not to be psychotic;)

Also, I told my boss I'm pregnant before my second interview at work. I was feeling very guilty and wanted to be upfront and honest with her. She was excited for me and says it won't affect my potential for this job. Sure, she has to say that but I shared with her several other concerns about this promotion and was very honest with my thoughts. Plus I don't want to keep it a secret from the world much longer, so once we tell the kids on Christmas the word can be out without saying 'but the kids don't know yet, so shhhhhh'. Yay! Coming right up, and I'm thinking of ways to tell them (scavenger hunt for clues?). Also we will have pro pictures done next week when all of our family are here, so might as well do some sort of reveal photos. Time will tell what we come up with, certainly feels like all of the options have been exhausted at this point!

For symptoms: I'm still really freaking tired but I think that might be more recovering from Strep than anything. If I nap, then I can't fall asleep at 9pm anymore, so maybe my napping days need to be done. I'm not as nauseous this week but every now and then food looks or smells disgusting. I'm just happy to be eating something other than popsicles and drinking water again! Still peeing more than usual, boobs are tender and seemingly more full, and I'm extra moody. YAY.

The nurse at Urgent Care was the first to be like, ''Oh, was this 'an oops baby'?'' and it made me feel a little rage-y. I hate the term 'oops baby' because we are adults and know how babies are made. But yes, it was a surprise, not that it's any of her business (the blog and telling the entire public internet is different to me, but the nurse asking me about it was annoying---makes sense, right?). I think she was shocked when she saw I was on the pill earlier this year, and now obviously NOT, but when she asked how old my youngest is she chilled out. I mean, Porter is just two, will be three when baby is born. It's not like it's a ten year gap or something! I hope she wasn't inching towards calling me 'old' but I was probably being oversensitive and very, very sick with little patience for anything, including sitting upright. Anyway, will be interesting to hear everyone's opinion on this baby! Makes me more protective about this little one, like, 'Hey, we might not have planned for it but it's going to be amazing, no need to be shocked.'

Current mood: tired, bloated, hungry, head-spinning with Christmas To-Do lists, and excited to tell the kids. My prediction is that Truman is excited but not super verbal about it, Cecelia takes awhile to warm up to it but then she is pumped, and Porter is freaking clueless. Lord, don't let Porter and this baby share a birthday---he will never approve!