April 25: Hunting for a Denim Shirt

As a spin off to my 'dress me' post, I feel like I need to specifically discuss my quest for a denim shirt. Because the 1969 Deconstructed one from Gap? Nope.

It's a TALL, size small. And although it looks alright from the front, it's perplexingly short in the back. THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT, PEOPLE! I posted these pics on Instagram and immediately took them down after a few minutes with multiple comments about how this reminded others of my pregnancy pictures. No. Same mirror but nothing to report in my womb. Will have to take selfies in a different mirror going forward.




I rolled the sleeves but the arm length was actually okay. It's the torso length that bugs me.

Originally $69 but I got it on sale for $35, so not terribly inexpensive but it absolutely feels like it will shrink after the first wash. I would like to promise that I'll never dry it but let's get real--my clothes need to adhere to the 'survival of the fittest' mentality. I do too much laundry, too frequently, to put forth the added effort of air drying certain pieces of clothing. High maintenance clothing will not last here, I'm afraid.

So anyway, I had high hopes for this shirt. I envisioned wearing it with black leggings, with a pair of salmon colored chino shorts (yet to be purchased), or my bermuda black shorts. I was going to be a hip mom in this shirt. And instead, I am reminded yet again that buying anything that isn't ridiculously long is a bad idea.

Nate's comment on this shirt was 'cute, but it makes me nervous---don't you think if it shrinks you'll never wear it again?' Yes, dear husband, you are right. But I want to love this shirt! But I returned it with sadness in my heart.

I hunted online for 'tunic length denim tops' last night. It was highly entertaining. Nordstrom, JCrew, Banana, and some frightening things on Amazon kept me up until the wee hours of the morning without any results.

This one from H&M might be taking the 'longer length' to the extreme but perhaps this is the direction I'm going because I'm being psychotic about length.

But this one from SoHo Girl is on point, yes?? Longer in back at least, great for leggings. Acid washed and her pose = wow. You're welcome.

Seriously though...This one from Talbots might be a winner. The reviews aren't great however, many saying the fit is odd (super tight in the shoulders and overall runs small). The model makes it look amazing though, right?

Or this one from J.Jill but I don't love the bottom hem here, and I think I want it a little more fitted.  (Also, sorry, mom but apparently with J.Jill and Talbots selections I have become you and it makes me feel very mature and anti-Forever 21. Love turning into my mom but I didn't know I was officially ready to start shopping in her stores, either.)

This one from Orvis seems super promising---it's 30" long which I measured just now and that would be *plenty* long. What is 'Tencel' fabric, anyone? I see this a lot during my hunt. I would pay $74 for this shirt if I loved it and if I could wear it spring/summer/fall with lots of options on the bottom.

So I want it to be long but semi-fitted, but not TOO tight. Good pockets would be nice--not too big or odd. Can't be too tight on my shoulders. Has to be the right shade of denim. Not cost a fortune but I will pay for good fit. Sucks that most everything 'tall' can only be found online because the process is much more difficult to order online without trying on, then waiting for it to arrive, only to return it later. 

No idea why this is proving to be a difficult feat! Anyway, I'm on the hunt and get a little obsessive with these things sometimes. I loved all of your suggestions in my other post about where to shop and have been diligently looking online ever since! (Updated with many many more pictures and links after some great comments on this post!)

Madewell: $79.50. Too oversized? Great color and length although not listed as a 'tall.'

Nordstrom: $99. Pricey, maybe a bit too baggy, but I really dig it for it's tunic-style.

Lands End: $45. Too shiny with that Tencel stuff? Comes in a TALL and is supposed to be a tunic!

Lands End: $60. Another 'tall', not as shiny as it's not Tencel.

J.Crew Factory: $50. Not a 'tall' but seems long as a tunic. Not a great picture but a commenter has this and loves it.

Eddie Bauer: $80. Is a 'tall' and is super cute. Tencel!

Loft: on sale for $33. Is a 'tall', definitely a high-low tail. 

Loft: on sale for $33, is a tall, but no collar and I can't decide if I love that or hate it.

Boden: $75. Not a tall, would probably be too short, but I love this look for some reason. Would never pull off the 'tucked in' version though.

ONWARD!!!!

I did buy this Nike workout top (that will likely be an 'everyday top' for me) last weekend. Good length, kind of fun ruching at the sleeves at the wrists, and not a pastel, that's for sure!

Also went to Nordstrom Rack and Saks Off Fifth, tried on approximately 25 tops and this was the only semi-winner. I should have just bought the sucker but I didn't because I don't love the color and it's an XS which is NOT normally my size. So that makes me nervous that my shoulders will bust out the seams after one wash---but excellent drapey-ness and length here!

April 24: My Childhood vs. My Children's Childhood | Part Two

{Part one here}

The family unit: 

One weighty fact about both my childhood and Nate's childhood? Both of our parents are still married, my parents celebrating forty years (!!!) next month and Nate's parents celebrating thirty-seven years this fall. Pretty amazing, right? Obviously, Nate and I have great marriage role models and I certainly hope that our kids will also be able to say their parents stayed together. That is not a 'given' anymore and I am so grateful that my parents still love each other after all these years. Truly inspirational and sometimes they are a little sickening, actually (love you, mom!) ;)

Aside from not experiencing divorced parents, Nate and I also came from a family with two children and we each have a younger brother. Two first borns being married to each other is another topic for another time--my mom and her love for birth order discussions would love to write that one! But being a family of four was our standard growing up. So now that we have made a family of five, our kids will know a bigger family than we ever did. I like to think this means more love and more chaos and more siblings that they can love/hate with time. Our kids will probably have to share bedrooms because of our larger family in a three bedroom house, and Nate and I didn't get the experience of sharing rooms with our brothers. Actually I think Nate and Jon did share a bedroom for awhile when they were really young but not for long. Really hope that Truman and Cecelia keep loving each other enough to share their room until it's no longer appropriate!

Also, the spacing of children is quite different for our children compared to Nate and I as children. Nate and his brother are four years apart, and I'm six years older than my brother. Truman is 27 months older than Cecelia, who is 25 months older than Porter. So yeah, our three children are quite a bit closer in age than Nate and I were to our siblings growing up. Not necessarily a good or a bad thing, but the family dynamics will be different for each of our children. I hope that our kids have close relationships to each other with their smaller age gap, although I'd say that Nate and I both have good relationships with our own brothers with a bigger gap. I also think it's neat that our two boys are the same spacing as Nate and his brother. Those two certainly competed with each other and fought growing up but they are close now---I can't quite picture Porter and Truman fighting or competing with each other but I'm sure it will happen! Actually, our wild card daughter will probably give both of the boys the most trouble anyway.

When I was an only child. And when dad had a killer 'stasche and Mom's glasses were amazing.

One topic that the original commenter mentioned in her suggestion for this blog post, was the mother's role of working outside of the home or staying at home with the children. Ah, a topic near and dear to my heart! My mom and also Nate's mom stayed home when raising their small children. Both of our moms returned to the work force eventually---Nate's mom went back to work when Nate was in middle school and Jon was in third grade. My mom had a craft business when my brother was really little but didn't go to work outside of the home until I was in middle school. So Nate and I both grew up with stay at home moms who were also home with us every day after school. This obviously creates a different upbringing than what our children will have, since I work part time outside of the home. Our kids have gone to daycare, even if just a few days per week, and Nate and I didn't go to daycare (although I think I went for maybe a few months when my mom originally returned to her job as a social worker, but then she quit and stayed at home). I'm hoping that once Truman, Cecelia, and Porter are all in school (cannot imagine this time in our life, but I know it's coming!) I will be home with them once the school day is over, just like our moms were for us. It shouldn't be too difficult for me to be at home by 3:30 on the days I work, and I suppose I might even work five days per week at that point. But assuming I'm still in home care, I can probably swing being finished with my job at the end of the school day. That feels important to me right now and we'll see if it does play out to be a big deal in the years ahead.

Bonus dental comparison: Both Nate and I had braces growing up, my brother did not need them (LUCKY MICHAEL!). I'm certain all of our children will need braces with their parents genetics of bad teeth. But I think I'm also wearing a Hypercolor tee shirt here, so that makes up for the teeth, right? That six year age difference was certainly apparent here, as Michael was still adorable and so young as I entered into the more awkward pre-teenage years.

What else should I have covered with this post? And have you thought about your childhood compared to your kids' childhoods? 

April 23: My childhood vs. My children's childhood | Part One

Another topic from a commenter:

"Here's an idea for you (that may take more thought than you want to put in), but maybe a post about how your kids' childhoods are/will be different than yours, and feelings on that? I've been thinking that over a lot lately and since I don't blog, I'm passing the idea to you :). I grew up in a rural area with a SAHM; my son is a city kid with two full-time working parents. As he gets older, I'm realizing there are some idealizations of my childhood that I have to let go of, and also some really amazing experiences my kid will get that I never had access to. Maybe that's way too deep ... but an idea. Pictures are totally fine too :)"

I find this to be an interesting comparison and one that I haven't specifically pondered until this comment. My initial reaction was that my upbringing and also my kids' upbringings will be quite similar, which is a subconcious goal of mine since I had a wonderful childhood (Nate, too!). But I guess when you really get down to it, there are plenty of differences to discuss as well. I hope it goes without saying that everyone has different childhood experiences and upbringings and that is totally fine by me! Just because I was raised one way doesn't mean it's the 'right way' or that someone else who wasn't raised like me is missing out. I feel the need for this disclaimer before I touch on a few heavy topics of childhood and priorities in raising children. This is just my own personal story and the ongoing story of my children. Differences are good! Okay then.

Big city versus small town upbringing:

I grew up in Jefferson City, Missouri which is the commonly forgotten Capital in the middle of the state.  I thought it was a 'big city' with a population of about 45,000, which was gigantic compared to the tiny farming towns surrounding us in JCMO. My high school was huge since there were only two in our city: public (mine, graduating class of 800) or private (much smaller but still a huge competitor of ours in athletics). The size of my high school compared to the size of my hometown is kind of interesting, since I never realized other truly BIG cities had suburbs with their own schools, own little world, and their own culture. You either went to the public high school or the private one and that was that. 

My kids are growing up in a suburb of Milwaukee that has roughly 45,000 people living here, which is basically the exact same size as my hometown. And in case this isn't already known: we live in the same suburb where Nate grew up, and his parents still live in Nate's childhood home just a mile away from us. But the big difference is that our suburb is a part of the Milwaukee metro area that has 1.5 million people calling it 'home.' So Truman, Cecelia, and Porter are definitely 'city kids' compared to myself. 

And one of our favorite things about this suburb is the walkability: we can walk to school, walk to the downtown village, walk to playgrounds, etc., which feels very city-like. I definitely did not live in a walkable town growing up, we didn't have sidewalks, and my childhood home was built in the 1980s instead of our current home from the 1920s. That part doesn't really matter when it comes to 'upbringing' but I think our neighborhood and suburb have a much different feel than my hometown, too. I'll call Truman, Cecelia, and Porter city kids---but city kids in a suburb. I was a small town city kid with a side of farm girl;)

I went to St. Louis University and had a bit of a culture shock as I realized that I was considered a small town girl. Not to mention that when I chose a Jesuit college I didn't have a clue as to how different I'd be there since I was not Catholic and 90% of the kids there were at least 'sort of' Catholic. I think a lot of the city kids thought I was a po-dunk-farm girl-atheist or something, which was shocking since I believed myself to be a city girl with a solid religious background (more on that part in a bit)! My family did technically own a beef cattle farm, although faming wasn't my dad's primary job. Dad is a CPA who would change out of his business suit into his denim overalls and steel toed boots in the evenings to inseminate a cow or something crazy. So yes, I guess I was a bit of a 'farm girl' but we didn't live on the farm and I've never driven a tractor;) 

More on my experience being somewhat of a religious outsider at college: I remember the first Ash Wednesday I experienced while at SLU. My friend Keri came to class with ashes on her forehead and I was perplexed, telling her that she had dirt on her face. Ah, I learned so much about Catholicism in college because of the religious studies we were required to take, but also because of my numerous Catholic friends in college. I have gone up to the front of church at more Catholic weddings than I can count---getting a blessing with my arms crossed over my chest instead of receiving communion became more comfortable for me with each subsequent wedding. Which brings me to another topic when comparing childhoods.

Religion:

Although I went to a public high school, I attended a Lutheran grade school from kindergarten through eighth grade. Which is ironic because we went to a Baptist church--one that was a very prominent feature of my childhood as we went every Sunday, most Wednesday nights, did vacation bible school and Sunday School, and my mom was employed by our church for many years. Papaw was even the very first pastor at our church, so it was definitely a big part of my childhood. But my dad grew up Lutheran and attended the same grade school that I did, so I had a nice blend of denominations as I formed my own faith base. Lutheran grade school, public high school, Baptist church, and then a Catholic university. This could have become quite confusing for me but I am thankful for the variety of religions I've been exposed to over the years.

As for my kids: Nate was brought up Catholic but married me in an art gallery with my Baptist grandfather officiating;) And now we attend a Lutheran church because I consider Lutheranism a nice compromise between Catholicism and Baptists. Nate and I really enjoy our church mostly because it's laid back, geared towards families with young children, and the pastors are fantastic. But one way in which my kids will have a different upbringing than my own? We do not go to church every Sunday (shame, shame--I have Catholic guilt for this without being Catholic). For awhile when it was just Truman and even into the baby Cecelia days, we did make it every-other-Sunday and I believe someday we'll make that a priority again. But right now during this chaotic stage of life with three very small kids, it's just not. I believe we can still teach our children about God and faith and religion without going to church every Sunday. 

For instance, Truman is really into this storybook Bible these days:

We will read stories from it and discussions are prompted about God, Jesus, faith, and being kind to others. Truman also loves any of the stories that have to do with battles and death and I sort of forgot how intense a lot of the biblical stories can be. I mean, the crucifixion in general? BIG topic of discussion and something that I'm sure we will continue to talk about for years to come. At least, I hope we do! Cecelia doesn't 'get it' yet but reading stories with Truman is one way that the kids are getting exposed to religion without attending church every Sunday. Plus, Christmas and Easter are both opportune times to steer the kids towards the real meaning of these holidays. But of course, opening presents and eating candy are a hundred times more kid friendly than the birth and death of Jesus. BUT ANYWAY, religion was a huge part of my upbringing and it's also a part of my kids' lives. But probably not as prominent as it was for me as a child. When discussing religion at all, I feel the need to say that everyone is different here and it's alright if you weren't/aren't religious and don't want your kids to be either. I hope talking about faith isn't offensive because yes, it can be a sensitive subject!

Schooling:
Already touched on this one, but Nate went to public schools for elementary, middle school and high school, then met the love of his life at a Jesuit college;) I went to private grade school/middle school, public high school, and was Nate's love of his life at the Jesuit college. Nate even attended the exact same middle school and high school that our kids will attend, different elementary schools only. Our kids will go to public schools until college and then I will pray with everything I have they choose a state school after high school. Private colleges are beyond my comprehension for tuition costs so hopefully all three of our children are GENIUSES and get extremely awesome scholarships somewhere (that goes for a state school or a private school, actually). Be geniuses, kids!

So size of the city=different, religion=same but different, and schooling choice=same. More on the concept of the family unit next.