Moms Make it Work and Podcasts

I definitely haven't been posting much on my blog since I returned to work, and it's not because I'm lacking topics. I'll often think, 'Oh, I want to blog about this,' or 'Man, this would be a good/necessary thing to record on the old bloggity blog.' But then it just disappears from my mind and I choose sleep/preparing for work/vegging out on the couch over blog time in the evenings these days.

I suppose this is expected since I've ridden the ebbs and flows of blogging frequency over the years. Time is a luxury for all of us and I'm re-discovering that posting here is an 'extra' but not a necessity, when so many other items on my precious To Do list warrant my attention instead. So bear with me as we 'ebb' and this space gets quieter for a bit while I regain composure and find a groove, since I'm absolutely not ready to let this thing get TOO dusty in the process.

(Although, I must be a little rusty with this blogging thing since I literally spent a good hour typing this post last night and apparently didn't save it before logging out. Let's begin again, I guess. Boo/Hiss.)

One thing I wanted to write about today is the Moms Make it Work series. 2014 has been quite the year for this little idea I concocted last December. When I first sent out the email to my blogger friends asking them if they'd like to participate in a guest post series about how we all make it work in our different situations, I had no idea if anyone would post for me. Little did I know that not only my blog friends but also many readers would offer up their stories and we ended up with seventy-seven posters. SEVENTY-SEVEN, you guys. Moms from all over the world, moms with many different but strikingly similar challenges, moms working outside of the home or staying at home or a mixture of every label possible, military moms, single moms, moms with special needs children, older moms, moms with lots of kids. You name it and we've read it. These moms presented us with inspiration and camaraderie and support. Even if I couldn't personally relate to every part of every post, I value our differences as much as our similarities as mothers. I think this series has been a big time success and I hop you do, too!

For now I'm going to close the series and revisit the idea next year if there are more of you that want to share your story. But thank you to everyone who posted and commented and read along. (fist pound to all of the moms making it work, even when you think you aren't).

Something related to the MMIW series: I've been getting really addicted to podcasts in my van while driving for work lately. One that was recommended to me was Slate Radio's 'Mom and Dad are Fighting' podcast which is all about parenting. I randomly selected one episode called 'The Disdaingate Edition' and it took me a second to realize what the title even meant, since I thought 'disdaingate' was a fancy word I couldn't pronounce at first. But really, the male host (Dan) dropped a huge, charged, intense bomb on his listeners in a prior episode when he admitted he has disdain towards stay at home parents. Oh no he didn't, right? It was a rude, disrespectful, hurtful comment if you ask me and drew a line of division between working moms and stay at home moms even further. Basically the opposite goal of the MMIW series, Dan!! ;)

Listening to the episode was really interesting though, because it brought up a lot of important points on this topic. Dan elaborated on his stab-in-the-heart statement from before by saying he envies families who have a parent that is home with the kids. That he worries maybe his kids are worse off because neither of their parents are home with them. He sometimes feels judged for not staying at home (or because his wife isn't at home), and a lot of this tension stems from insecurities on both sides. The image he had in his mind of what a stay-at-home mom looks like was really ignorant, in my opinion, because it seems like he thought staying at home with the kids is 'easy.' Hahahaha. Oh, Dan. Thankfully many of his listeners set him straight. Staying at home is hard. Working outside of the home is hard. But making it work is key (cheesy but true).

At the heart of this issue, I think we are all worried about doing the best for our children. We're worried that we'll somehow screw up the most weighty job in our lives, which is raising our kids. We worry about how our kids view us and our choices related to them. We might worry what others think about our parenting choices because we're insecure about them ourselves! Maybe nobody is really judging each other because we are all too busy worrying about who is judging us. Interesting thought about this 'mommy war' is that maybe it all stems from an internal battle after all.

Anyway, I found the episode a little tough to hear at times since I really hate confrontation and would rather we all just hold hands and give hugs instead of tearing each other down. But I thought a lot of the resultant conversation was positive and uplifting to hear, too. Have you guys listened to this episode? What did you think?

Moving on...

I mentioned my new obsession with podcasts. 'Mom and Dad Are Fighting' is a favorite, as is 'The Shortest Longest Time'--especially the episode about changing breast pumps to suck less, and the one about how it's almost impossible to share mommy-triumphs without making another mom feel badly about her own situation. So much food for thought here!

But my ultimate for a podcast? Like the rest of the world in social media, I am obsessing over Serial. As in, I listened to the first eight episodes in two days while in the van alone and in the evenings. It's seriously so good. I'm not really sure if Andan did it or not but I want to believe he didn't. Maybe he was involved in Hae's death but I just can't believe he did it all himself! Are you listening to this one? Thoughts? It's seriously fascinating.

More random thoughts to come in a different post. This one is getting lengthy and chalk-full of talking points, I think. Would love to hear from you on these matters even though I know commenting on blogs is hard and annoying and 'out'. But I refuse to believe blogs are totally dead…they just aren't what they used to be. Right?

(I get twitchy if I don't include at least one picture in a post. Here is one that is unrelated but sort of related, since these three kids are GROWING and our parenting is adapting. Or something. July versus November. Holy man, time flies)

Mothering During the Little Kid Years

This boy and I, we sure can butt heads.



I get onto him about whining, about asking for TV constantly, about not listening, picking on his sister, needing to do things more independently. I push him to be more grown up than his four years. I loose my cool and yell at my sweet boy when I boil over past my patience limit.

I am human. I am not a perfect mom. I feel guilty for snapping at my Truman when he unknowingly (or sometimes knowingly) pushes my buttons.

But my goodness, how I love him with a fierceness that overwhelms me sometimes. His sweet dimple, his innocent eyes, his hugs and kisses for no good reason. His, 'Did I do a good job, mommy? Do you like what I made for you? I love you mommy, you are my best friend.' My big boy is such a blessing in my life and I'm grateful that the challenging moments are not the norm. They are a chance for growth and an opportunity for me to stretch myself a little bit more as I journey through this motherhood thing. Truman is my first born, the one who has taught me to parent and the one who will provide me with numerous opportunities for growth.

I just glanced at the date today: 3/14. Truman's original due date. I will never forget it!

(He grabbed this and stated, "This is Crest Pro Health." (??!!) )




This girl and I, we sure can butt heads.



I get frustrated when she won't hold still for a diaper change, an outfit change, or teeth brushing. She gets frustrated when I try to help her do something she can quite certainly do alone (according to her 21 month old mind). She throws a tantrum when I can't interpret her needs from constant screams. She does and doesn't want to be held, does and doesn't want assistance with everyday tasks, and does and doesn't like me to ask her questions.

She's a hot mess and the most beautiful little creature I could imagine.





And I love her with a fierceness that overwhelms me sometimes. Her pats on my back, kisses unprompted, 'Hi, Mommy! Love you!', and her angelic smiles all melt me. She is my spitfire who challenges me and entertains me regularly. I could watch her play with her toys all day long. I could watch her run to her daddy after a long day apart over and over again. I could watch her imitate her brother for years and never tire of my Cecelia.

Molding little lives is the hardest and the best. The most exhilarating and the most exhausting. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom for yelling, snapping, lacking patience. Other times I want to cry out of sheer gratitude for these precious little lives. Occasionally I feel like I rock it as a mom and occasionally I feel like I'm just surviving. Most of the time I'm just soaking it in because I'm told it goes so fast....and it does.

But life with littles is nowhere near perfect. It's messy, frustrating, guilt-inducing, and challenging. It's the best and I would never trade it for any other phase in my life. But it is not perfect.

Some weeks, like this one, are all out of sorts. Sickness, missed work and routines, puke buckets, wiping away bodily fluids, digging deep for energy that just isn't there--those aren't the things you imagine in your pre-mommy days. But those things are a part of motherhood, just the same.

I took the kids to Target once we finally started to pull out of our sickness haze. We just needed a few items and I found some (secret) gems in the Dollar Spot for Easter baskets. The kids never ask for toys or treats when we are shopping and I never splurge on them 'just because'. Don't want to spoil them or make them bratty little entitled monsters or anything, right?

But this day? I told Truman he could pick out a small toy and his excitement nearly bowled me over. He picked a small $5 train and then we found a $5 'princess' nail polish set for Cecelia to keep it even. Their smiles made this treat more than worth it. Truman's constant, 'Thank you for my train, mommy! You are the best' made my day. Sometimes it's okay to say 'Yes' even when they aren't asking for anything. It's okay to be spontaneous and fun and spoil them a bit, if for no other reason but because I'm so proud of them.











Room sharing like pros, handling sickness and a grumpy mommy, a lack of routine and the longest winter in the history of ever---Yes. They deserve a fun surprise 'just because.' Not because I feel guilty or am trying to make myself feel better for being a little less than a fantastic mom this week. Not because I'm trying to make it up to them somehow. Obviously they will still love me even when I'm at my worst and hopefully I won't scar them for life in the process. I'm their mom, the good parts and the bad parts of me. That's the wonderful thing about family: we love each other in spite of our flaws. Unconditionally. Whole heartedly. And thank goodness for that, because don't we all need a little grace sometimes?

This is real life, kids and it's not always pretty. But it's still awesome and always worth the ugliness.



I'm happy to be their mom, imperfections and all.

Questions from the Internet: Part 3

The next round of questions that came from the Six Questions interview all have to do with 'advice.' And more specifically parenting advice. Popular topic!


What is the best and the worst piece of parenting advice you've received? -Amy B.

What are the best words of wisdom you've ever gotten/read? Advice, comfort, what's stuck with you the most? -aligibbs24

Hi, Julia, what advice would you go back and give to yourself pre-baby or to someone thinking of having kids? Thank you! -rees_bk

I just recently posted about one of my favorite quotes of all times:

(hand lettering by seances)

I believe good old Abraham Lincoln is credited with this quote and I really could not agree more. I guess this isn't advice as much as it's considered my 'words of wisdom'. Choose happiness. Find the positive in a situation. Enjoy life and be happy. Sounds simple enough, right?

When I was pregnant with Truman, I was *that* first time mom who read all of the books. I researched, I prepared, I was determined to be a great mom. If I could go back to my pre-baby self to impart all of my hard-earned mommy wisdom, I would just say this: go easy on yourself. You have no idea the incredible amount of joy this thing called motherhood will bring you, and yet it will be the hardest role in the world, too. Read all of the books you'd like, dear friend, but nobody can be totally 'ready' for their own baby. All babies are different, all families are different, and if you decide to make decisions from your gut based on what you feel is right for your child you will be golden. Push all of the other outside pressures or expectations or dare I say it, mommy wars aside. 

I feel like living in a time of social media is both really cool and really unfortunate. We just know too much about each other's lives these days. Do you think moms of our grandmothers' generation really cared if so-and-so down the block breastfed or bottle fed their baby? If they co-slept or not? How they parented? Were there mommy wars back then? Competition? Or was it just a simpler time with different priorities? I've thought about having my grandma (Memaw!) write a bit for the Moms Make it Work series because I know her perspective as an octogenarian is so incredibly interesting compared to what we are accustomed to today. One thing she emailed to me after a MMIW post was that the concept of 'me time' was nonexistent back then. They just didn't think much about carving out time for themselves as mom and probably just got the job done without spreading themselves too thin to 'keep up' with all of the other moms out there. I don't know. I mean, I CRAVE my beloved 'me time' and can't imagine that not idea not being in my head. She also doesn't understand the big deal about 'mommy guilt' and thinks the moms of our generation are way too hard on ourselves. Just do the best you can and move on---simple enough, right? I love hearing Memaw's opinion on parenting especially because she says her transition from two to three beautiful baby girls was not all that difficult;) Perhaps I will get her to write something for us on this old blog---to breathe new life into this modern day mommy blog from an old school professional author.

What I'm saying is that moms-to-be can go a long way if they do their best to follow their gut and ignore all of the noise out there regarding the 'best' choice for their child. I guess that is what I'd say to my pre-baby self or any other girl getting ready to become a mom. It's more amazing than you could ever imagine and also more challenging. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows. And totally worth it, 100%.

As far as the best and worst parenting advice I've ever received? Hmmmm. I guess the best would be to follow your instincts. Enjoy the moment. Look at the big picture. Be present. You know, all of those really EASY things to do as moms;) And the worst advice would be something about how newborn babies are smart enough to manipulate you into wussy parents. As in, your baby must be crying to get attention and if you don't put your foot down and show them who is boss, they will always 'own' you or something dumb like that. I don't think babies need to be held 24/7 or that you have to run to their side with every whimper (as if that is even possible, especially with more than one child). But anyone who claims that a baby (and I'm talking LITTLE, like less than 6 months) is trying to manipulate you does not remember what it's like to have a tiny, fussy, human baby. Sometimes they just cry for no good reason. You might make yourself certifiably insane trying to figure out the cause of their crying but I truly do not agree with the notion of a baby trying to 'manipulate' a parent. They are babies, and therefore not the smartest. They have other great qualities of course (adorableness, innocence, amazing smell, squishiness) but they aren't that smart. Again, just follow your gut and if you think your baby needs you then go to him. There will be plenty of time in your parenting career to 'put your foot down' and show your child who is boss (i.e. ages 2 through forever?). 

I have heard the 'don't let her manipulate you' type comments before when CC was really little. I won't say who told me things like, 'Oh look, she totally has you wrapped around her finger' but it took a lot of self-restraint to avoid rolling my eyes at that one. Now that Cecelia is almost two? Sure. She probably tries to test my limits and see if I'll follow through with what I promise. I still don't think she wants to 'manipulate' me when she is being naughty. She is almost two and needs me to teach her the rules and limits while also proving my love and earning her trust. She is also completely different than her big brother when it comes to pushing the boundaries so I'm sort of learning this whole 'guiding a two year old' thing all over again. Gotta love how these babies keep us on our toes!

Miss Priss:






Mister Too Big for his Britches (going back to my Southern roots for that term!):





Love them so. Hope this post was somewhat insightful about 'advice'. One more installment of these Internet Questions to go!

Questions from the internet: Part 1

I have fifteen questions that remain unanswered from the Six Questions experience. Nothing like a little 'ask me anything' to produce a ton fuel to the blog post fire  (aren't you lucky?). I will break these up into lots of parts because apparently I like to ramble when answering questions. Or I could just call it 'being thorough' but yeah, this got pretty lengthy. Whoops.

The first installment of these internet questions? My hair, and the concept of 'doing it all.' Love a good variety of topics in one post!

Do you still like your haircut? I know you were experimenting with different ways to style it. Favorite? Default style? -Sarah D.


Yes, I really do love it short. I'm a person that likes to be extreme with my hair so I'm used to growing it out, then cutting it off, having bangs then NOT having bangs, etc. I haven't colored my hair since my wedding in 2007 (and that was just subtle highlights) so that isn't really my 'thing' for curing my need for change. But since I went super short last August I haven't even felt the urge to do something different with it.

Actually, that isn't entirely true. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started to considering growing it back out to a stacked bob. Not because I'm sick of it being short but because I'm scared that as I gain weight (and double my chins) I won't be able to pull this off quite as well. Also my hair grows really quickly when pregnant so it's sort of annoying to get it cut every 6 weeks when I was used to going 3 months or more before this. But I think the short style is here to stay unless I gain more than 2 chins. 2 chins = acceptable, but 3+ means I probably need to distract people with longer hair. Time will tell.

After the initial first cut, I have gotten two other short haircuts. One I loved, the last one not as much. I guess I have to learn what shape I like when it comes to the sides and the top and back. Very different than asking for 'just a trim' since my hair is already so short! I don't really wear it wavy anymore because it's too short to look right, but if I let it grow a bit I can attempt letting it air dry with some wave. I get very nervous about allowing curl with this shorter hair because my greatest fear is looking like a 1980s mom with a horrible short hair cut, a bad perm, and really weird bangs/sideburns. Do you know what I'm talking about? Bueller?

Usually, I will blow it dry in literally 3 minutes and then run the flat iron through the bangs and back in another 2 minutes. It's SO freaking easy! I do not miss my wet pony tail and headband at all. For real. I feel much more put together with a 'style' that isn't really even a style--more like a good cut that styles itself. I think my hair is 100x healthier when it's this short and I'm not sick of it yet!

(This was from the fall and I like the shape/length a lot like this! It's more flat now and I think I like it fluffier like this)



(see, this is now. Not quite the same as the above pic but it will do. And CC is super cute here.)




How do you find the time to work, clean, blog and find time to be with the kids? -smarley2
(and similarly)
How do you manage to find balance in your life with kids, a husband, work, exercising, blogging...do you sleep? How do you get it all done? -Brittany A.

Oh, sleep. I do sleep now but haven't done a ton of it in the past four years. Mostly because I have two fairly terrible sleepers who just recently figured out the glory of a full night's rest AND WE ARE LOVING IT. Because seriously, Truman's first 2+ years of his life included multiple night time wake ups and then 5 am start times to our days. Sometimes he will still call out for us at night needing a special tuck in after a bad dream. Cecelia didn't sleep through the night until 11 months and was pretty inconsistent after that until very recently. And let's get real, she will still wake every day around 4-5 am because she drops the pacifier and needs my help to find it (another story entirely, want to burn those nuks right now). Luckily she will usually whine herself back to sleep for a bit after that, but it's still semi-broken sleep for us. So yes, I do sleep from approximately 10:30-6:00 most nights. Hallelujah. It won't last much longer.

But that isn't your real question, I suppose. You want to know how I juggle all of the roles in my life. The golden question of 'balance'. Honestly, I do not want to make it seem like I have my stuff together at all times on this blog. I SO do not. I have my days/moments/weeks when I feel like a failure to all of the above mentioned tasks. Are you ready for me to keep it real here? At the risk of sounding like a whiny baby, here it is: sometimes it feels like I'm doing a lot of stuff but none of it well---like I can't give 100% of myself to anything since I'm doing so many different things. I don't think I'm alone in this and I'm willing to be a lot of women out there, and especially moms feel this way. It's hard to do it all and in reality, NOBODY can do it all, right?? The older I get (ahem, more seasoned?) the more I am willing to let go of the concept of doing it all.

I admit to being a perfectionist, Type A, first born, over-achiever and I can be pretty hard on myself at times. I feel guilty for losing my cool with the kids, for making a mistake at work, or for snapping at Nate. Luckily I realize that I'm not perfect and everyone has rough days. Those rough days make the awesome and 'mediocre' days a lot sweeter and I'm happy that the tough ones don't happen too often. Thankfully my family and friends still love me even at my worst. And thankfully I have a sense of humor, a husband who makes me lighten the heck up, friends who support me and my neuroses, and a bit of a laid back personality deep inside of me, too.

Because even though my Type A tendencies/perfectionism can be too much and therefore bad, other times those characteristics can be really helpful. I am usually good at multi-tasking (again, aren't all moms?). I don't actually mind making a phone call for work while fixing Cecelia a snack and whispering to Truman that he needs to search for Monkey on his own...and contemplating what I'm going to make for dinner. I like to be on the go and have trouble sitting still without being 'productive' in some way...even if that is just returning emails while lounging on the couch. I cannot stand to have flagged 'need to respond' emails sitting in my in box for longer than a day. It's a sickness, really. I hate to procrastinate and cannot deal with being even a few minutes late to an appointment. Again, these could all be seen as negative qualities or really helpful ones---depending on the day.

Now for a big one: I live and die by my To-Do list and thoroughly enjoy checking items off each day. This is how I accomplish blogging ideas, cleaning the house, exercising, and paperwork for my job all within the elusive 'free time' hours of the occasional dual nap and post-bedtime. I make the most of the time I have because one of my strongest qualities has always been time management. I'm a pretty organized person and like to keep tasks compartmentalized. I remember my high school teachers saying that I manage my time well on report cards or something, and I feel like this probably stemmed from high school sports. I HAD to prioritize my time after basketball and volleyball practices, games/tournaments on the weekends, camps, etc. Because I was also a perfectionist and needed a 4.0 along with extracurriculars (nerd alert). So yes, I like to take charge and get things done, which is greatly beneficial to our family and all of my pans in the fire (if you will).

But this question brings up a good point, and it's something I've been pondering for a bit now: Life is really good right now, so are we totally asking for chaos by adding to our family?

Right now, at this time in our lives with our oldest approaching four years old, and our littlest just over one-and-a-half I really do feel a sense of calm (before the storm?). It's like we are really hitting our stride with two kids, schedules, and work/life balance. On top of the ball. Owning this parenting thing (for the most part) compared to feeling like we were being owned by it all. Settled phases like this come and go and right now we are in a great phase. It won't always feel this way, obviously, which of course worries me. Will I ever feel like we are settled again with three kids, the school years, so many CHANGES ahead? Will I ever feel like I'm in control of anything--my body, our routine, my numerous children? I think if I can let my inner zen/laid back self come to the surface and push back against my tendencies to over-plan and control we will be just fine. Actually, I know we will be just fine but it's a matter of changing our definition of 'fine,' I think.

I need to grant myself some grace (inspiration from Kate's recent post) while we adjust to being a family of five and sacrifices will need to happen. Maybe I won't be able to blog as much, sleep as much, respond to emails as quickly, mask our house as 'clean', or knock out a to do list on my days at home. We will be in survival mode for a bit---just focusing on the basics (i.e. keeping everyone fed and clothed and loved) and not worrying about the 'extras'. Priorities will shift again. I feel like if I go into the newborn phase with somewhat low expectations for myself then I will be less frustrated by the changes that will surely occur. I mean, we've done this before---twice before. Which means we should know what we're doing but having three is going to be a different ballgame. This I know.

Because honestly, I am beyond grateful for this gift of pregnancy and welcoming another child into our lives. It's going to be so much fun. Hard as heck, expensive, chaotic, and different for sure. Transitioning to being a mother of three will be quite the ride and part of the beauty is that I can't predict how our story will go. Maybe we will get an awesome sleeper this time (hahahahahaha)! Maybe we will get the neediest of all babies and Nate really will get a vasectomy before we come home from the hospital. I'm excited for this change, I'm ready (well not YET, but in a few more months!), and I can't wait to share all about it. Whenever I make the time to blog, that is, and I'm not making any promises. ;) Back to the basics (ie iPhone pictures without captions, one post per week at best). Hopefully someday life will settle down again, there will be a teensy bit of free time again, and we will be in another 'great phase.'

But for now, we are soaking these two stinkers in as much as possible. Such fun stages! Yep, had to use this post as an excuse to show some cute T and C pics;)







Up next? Lots of specific questions about blogging, so I will be blogging about blogging. Stay tuned!

Aug 18: He Sleeps on the Floor

"Mommy, I'm scared," Truman told me when I entered his room at 9:45 pm, hearing him call me over the monitor a few minutes before.

"What are you scared of, buddy?" I asked as I got down on the floor next to him.

"I just need you, that's what I'm scared of. I just need you right now."

So I laid down and 'spooned' my boy. He rubbed my forearm for a bit and cuddled in next to me. My big three year old boy gets scared sometimes. He sleeps on his floor right now with the lamp on for the whole night. Sometimes he even asks to sleep in our bed. It's just a 'scared' phase and he won't need me forever. But right now he does and I'm in no hurry to push him further into his childhood just yet when it comes to moments like these.



I find myself being fairly laid back with parenting my three year old. I'm not a push-over parent though, as I pick my battles and feel like I butt heads with Truman more often than I'd like. Because he's three and obviously needs discipline for The Big Stuff. When it comes to listening to me, obeying me, and respecting me (and others) it's non-negotiable. I follow through with my consequences I give as a result of his poor decisions, and time outs still work pretty well for us along with removing a privilege like TV or dessert (really hitting below the belt there, I know). He knows I'm the boss and tells Nate this frequently---something that I'm sure irritates Nate but since I'm with Truman so much more, I do have to deal with the discipline more often. And I am bossy sometimes, as Nate knows all too well. ;) So anyway, I'm not a push-over parent but I'm still pretty laid back.

Because everything else that's not an earth-shattering event? Meh. I'm not going to battle with him over those minor things. Truman doesn't like to eat vegetables and even some fruits are iffy. He watches a fair amount of TV. He 'needs' my help putting on his shirts each day. The kid sleeps on the ground with a light on, did I mention that yet? But I just can't get worked up about those things because he's a little kid. It's all a phase. And my job as a mom is to teach him the rules, to discipline him so that he's not a spoiled brat, but it's also to support and encourage and let Truman be the best T he can be. Sometimes you gotta let the kid be a kid and just roll with it.

I pinned something the other day that made me grin. Age 3: Let me play (trust me, I'm learning). YES. Truman can't start 4K until next fall because his birthday is in March, but I've wondered if I should search out a more structured 'pre-school' setting for Truman right now. There's certainly nothing wrong with preparing a three year old for school, practicing letters, learning in a formal setting, etc. But Truman likes the 'free play' style at Lori's. On my days off I'm more than capable of sitting down and practicing the alphabet with him (if we make time in between playing with trains and digging dirt in our flower beds). A big part of me feels like he is going to be in school for nearly 20 years of his life. It's fine to let him explore and loaf and be three right now. It's fine for other moms to send their kids to 'pre-school' at this age, too. Whatever works, since every family and every child is so different. But for us, I'm happy to postpone the more formal school setting for one more year. He's learning and will hopefully be a good student someday regardless.

I didn't mean for this post to be about labeling my 'parenting style' because I don't think it's necessary to put a stamp on my relationship with my son. I guess I just realized the other night, laying on the floor with Truman to help ease the scariness, that some moms might raise their eyebrows at this scene. Some might say I need to lay down the law, put the kid in his bed, turn off the light, and teach him to sleep like a big boy. And some kids 'need' that firm hand guiding them. But my boy doesn't need me to be a tough mom all of the time. I'll be tough on the topics that matter in my eyes. But I believe in being a big softie when it's warranted, too. I'll take all of the cuddles I can get right now.

Just as long as it's not every night or multiple times in the night. I draw the line there ;) But occasionally? Sure, I will go with it.

Everyone has different philosophies about how to discipline, guide, and mold a child during these impressionable years. There is no right or wrong way, only the way that parents think is best for their child. If you are super strict, that's fine by me. I'm not, but no judgement for moms doing it differently than me. We all have to figure it out as we go anyway. And I'll be the first to admit I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time, especially with my first-born. I've never parented a three (almost three-and-a-half-year old) before. But overall Truman is a great kid. He's pretty laid back and I am, too (but we both have our tendencies to be dramatic, for sure). I wasn't raised in a super strict household so I'm probably parenting the way I was brought up, which is kind of cool to think about in a way. We're all doing this motherhood thing differently which is great because variety is the spice of life (or something like that).

Two light bulb moments for me, to summarize this random post:

1. Parenting is hard but it's a lot more fun when I don't take it all so seriously.

2. I might have to parent Cecelia differently than Truman because she is going to be our wild child. Hold me.