Breastfeeding as a Working Mom (aka Pumping Fool!)

Breastfeeding versus formula feeding seems to be one of those extra-touchy, sensitive topics out there in mommy blog-land. Then when you add in the terms 'working mom' versus 'stay at home mom' you are basically playing with fire on the internet and bound to irritate a few readers. So first, I feel like I need to throw out the peaceful comment that I do not think formula is poison. I give mad props to ALL moms of babies because it's ridiculously challenging at times to keep said babies fed and (mostly) happy and growing. If you choose to use formula from day one, or you are forced to use formula after nursing just doesn't work out for any reason, I give you a big thumbs up because you are feeding your baby. Also, whether you answer to a wee little one as your 'boss' most days or you work outside of the home, again---more power to you. It's hard no matter what and every family is different.

So all of that said, I just so happen to work outside of the home part time (3 days per week, nice and balanced and I love it) and I thoroughly enjoy breastfeeding my babes. I mean, I kind of love it but I don't want to get all gushy on you about how the bond I've felt with nursing my children makes my heart literally ache at times. So I won't. But I will say that I know I'm beyond blessed to have had such a great experience nursing Truman for a year and Cecelia for her nearly six months thus far (keep going, baby girl!). I'm happy I've never had to mix a formula bottle for my kids but I'm not opposed to it, either. Because I know it's not so easy for a lot of moms and there are just so many roadblocks that can pop up during a nursing journey.

Especially for moms who work outside of the home--keeping up your supply while you are working is no freaking joke. It takes a ton of hard work, dedication and probably a lot of luck on your side to make it work. Someone once told me that back in the day (our mothers' generation), doctors would say that you had to choose between breastfeeding or bottle feeding. There was no room for both. You had to pick. Which means if you worked outside of the home you didn't have the privilege to breastfeed your baby after a maternity leave. Isn't that sad and totally unfair? It makes me feel even more grateful to have the option of nursing my baby even though I work outside of our home. And it makes me love whoever came up with the idea of a nice double-electric breast pump. Kudos, dude. Killed it.

But pumping? It pretty much sucks. Literally. And it's one thing to pump a bit when you are home with your baby to help establish a supply, or to relieve a bit of engorgement, or to create a small freezer stash for some freedom. But it's a totally different ballgame when it comes to pumping consistently, while also juggling a job with separate demands, for the long run. Pumping isn't *that* big of a deal but it's a huge annoyance, one more thing to fit into a work day for me, and then all of the 'milk management' issues that come with expressing milk out of your tats? Forget it. Totally need an extra hour in the day to deal with it all.



I wanted to write this post to have a 'go to' post for all things pumping/nursing/working outside the home. I am by no means an expert on this topic, but apparently I have a lot to say (go figure). I know I always found these types of posts helpful when I was pregnant with Truman, researching the internet because I was totally scared that breastfeeding would not work for me as a mom who would be returning to work. I already wrote a few pretty informative posts when I was nursing Truman, which you are welcome to browse as you please:

Pump Talk part 1 | This one is all about my choice of double electric pump, and then a few general pumping numbers to live by with links to fantastic supportive websites for the pumping mom

Pump Talk part 2 | Here is where I talk about the actual logistics of pumping at work. Then I go into the gear/supplies that I need.

Hanging on for Dear Life | Uh-oh, things change with Truman's nursing around 9 months. I worry that I'm doomed to end our nursing relationship before I'm ready.

Breastfeeding Journey Evolution | The sappy, celebratory post I wrote about 'making it to a year' nursing Truman.

But I also wanted to update some of my old posts about this topic now that I'm on child #2 in a different job setting than before. Plus if there ever is a child #3, I'm sure I'd need to refer back to this post as a reference. You definitely forget a lot of the details about pumping when you aren't doing it day in and day out.

I still go with the concept of pumping about every 3 hours or less while you are separated from the babe. Which means 3 pumping sessions in a given 8 hour work day for me. It would be SO NICE to drop a session but I know that would probably spell disaster for my supply because I choose not to pump at home in the mornings before work or in the evenings before bed. A lot of girls will add a session in that way but I just really don't like to do that. In fact, I don't even pump at all at home on my days off or on weekends--maybe I should, but I don't. I blame the fact that Cecelia sleeps like crap, because I can't really pump before I go to bed---she will probably be eating a few minutes later (or maybe she already has). And I can't really pump when I wake up because she probably JUST ate and then I usually do pump about an hour after that last feeding before work anyway. See? Totally had to justify my reasoning as to why I only pump during business hours;)

But it should be noted that a lot of times when moms go back to work, they probably don't pump frequently enough and that is the primary reason their supply drops and they can't continue to meet baby's needs with nursing. Right now I average about 5ish ounces per session, giving me 15ish per day (more like 11-18 but who's counting?). And right now, at nearly 6 months, Cecelia is taking 10-15 ounces at Lori's. The numbers game is brutal to the ego if you aren't matching baby 1:1. BRUTAL. It's the part I hate the most about pumping---making sure that baby doesn't eat more than you can pump.



As far as cleaning the pump parts, I had a revelation about half way through my pumping experience with Truman. If freshly expressed breast milk is good for 8 hours at room temperature then why is it necessary to clean the pump parts after every session? Any milk that is left on the parts would technically be okay for 8 hours, right? This is key for me because I pump in my car 3 times per day and do not have access to a sink and soap. Yes, they make wipes to clean your pump parts. But they are SUPER expensive and there is no way I'd continually buy those babies. I'd rather just wash my pump parts and bottles in the evening.

I do use a small ice pack inside my little cooler for the bottles that catch my milk. Now another light bulb moment for me? Why pump into numerous little bottles all day long? Why not just use two giant 9 oz bottles instead? My pump's cooler does fit such tall bottles so it's a no-brainer for me. I just use the same 9 oz bottles all day long and then it's less for me to clean at night. Hallelujah.

Other numbers that are still very helpful for me? I used the guidelines posted on Kellymom.com for all of Truman's milk and am going with that again this time, but I hear there are other timeline ideas out there, too. I store my frozen milk in my in-laws deep freezer, so it's good there for 6 months. If we keep it in our own regular freezer, that would be just 3 months. And once you defrost frozen milk it's only good for 24 hours. But freshly pumped milk can be refrigerated for 3 days which is awesome and helpful for me. I will pump on Monday and use that milk for bottles on Wednesday instead of messing with frozen bags all of the time. But I do pay close attention to my stored bags and try to rotate them out accordingly to avoid any milk going bad. You basically have to pry my fingers off every ounce in my hefty stash. I'm crazy like that. Can't help it.

Because I pump in my car most times, a nursing cover and a hands-free pump bra are a MUST. It's still a pain to get everything set up but then at least I can use those 15 minutes productively while I pump. Like check my phone for various social media updates, duh;)

And can I just take a time out and say that I'm SO GLAD my daughter did, eventually, succumb to our bottle attempts? If she was still refusing all artificial nipples I would probably be 100 times worse off for my mental health. Because I really do like having a freezer stash she can eat from for an extended period of time if something (God forbid) would happen to me or my supply. Thankfully she got over that little diva-stage and downs a bottle like a champ now. Hang onto hope if you are still struggling with your little one and a bottle. It really does get better!

And although my little stinker gave me anxiety attacks about possibly never taking a bottle, the second time around for nursing while working has been a lot easier. I had mastitis three times while nursing Truman (3 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months). I truly hope I don't jinx myself but so far so good. I HAVE, however, had multiple clogged ducts this time which is also really painful but nothing like The Big M.  I never had a single clogged duct the first time. Isn't that odd? My right side is still my big producer, usually getting about three times as much as old leftie. I was so worried that I would be permanently lopsided after breastfeeding Truman, but no---both sides were sufficiently pancaked once I was done with him. Also, I think because I am only away from Cecelia for three days per week now and I was away from Truman for four days back then, I am not as nervous about my supply this time. Meaning, I figure even if I can't match her bottle intake on those three days, I could hopefully make up for that by nursing her on our four off-days at home anyway. A nursing baby definitely ups your supply a lot better than a pump ever could.

(my first time breastfeeding Cecelia. Sigh. )

What else about a pumping career? I don't know. But any mom who has been an 'exclusive pumper'--one who pumps and gives breast milk bottles without actually nursing the baby--has officially earned the title of a badass in my book. I would never have the motivation to pump full time without the reward of nursing my baby. So hard. And yet it's always worth the annoyance of the pump to be able to nurse my babe with each passing day.

Here is an excellent guide to check out, and something I'll be referring back to very soon....since I'm now preparing to return to work after Wallace. Yes, it seems I've had my fourth baby---this post should probably be updated to reflect that!

Also, my cousin Krista runs a very informative website called Nursing Nurture. She has featured one of my breastfeeding posts there and does a great job at answering any nursing questions you may have. I know there are so many when you are just starting out!

Breastfeeding Journey Evolution

What does it mean to 'make it to a year?' Or more specifically, what does 'make it' mean?

I've been asking myself this very question for awhile now. It can mean that you breastfed the baby for a full year---meaning he nursed from you to get that milk (duh). It can mean you pulled a combo of breastfeeding and pumping for bottles if you are a working mom, or one who can't always nurse the baby directly. It might mean you gave your baby breastmilk without actually nursing at all, being an 'exclusive pumper' instead. It can mean you gave only breastmilk as a drink, without supplementing in any way. It can mean you haven't needed to supplement with formula, but you have started a bit of cow's milk in addition to breastmilk. Or maybe you were able to nurse just once or twice a day and the other feeds were formula bottles.

If we look at the bigger picture, 'making it to a year' really only means that you kept your baby alive/fed/growing and kept yourself alive for a full year. Does it really matter if you nursed, exclusively pumped, or supplemented?

When I admitted to my goal of 'making it to a year' I meant that I wanted to nurse Truman for a full year without supplementing. At first I just wanted to make it through my maternity leave. Then I wanted to make it to 6 months. After that milestone came and went without many issues, I went full throttle and pushed for an entire year of nursing and then came the 8/9 month chaos when sleepless nights plus a restless nursing baby meant something had to give. I do not regret my decision to give Truman bottles of pumped milk in the slightest---he has been more satisfied, slept better, and is growing into a perfectly healthy BIG boy. But of course I am sad when I think about that being the pivotal moment in our breastfeeding journey, when I went from nursing him numerous times per day to just twice, and then just once. Becoming a nearly exclusive pumper was not easy for me and yet we all survived just fine.

And now? We are exactly 9 days away from his first birthday. Still nursing in the mornings and occasionally in the afternoons when I am home. And three days ago I decided to stop pumping all together, which of course brought about loads of emotions that I was not prepared to encounter. I was only getting about 2 ounces during a pump session which seemed totally pointless and I decided to cut the ties a few days earlier than planned. I mean, was I just pumping for myself to make it to that magical year mark or was I doing it for Truman? It was hard to tell anymore. I figured I would be celebrating the detachment of that pump from my body and yet I could barely sleep the first night I didn't pump before bed. I just keep thinking of our roller coaster ride of breastfeeding and pumping...

Flash back to our very first nursing session: I remember that my biceps were so incredibly sore and seemingly shredded from pulling my legs back while pushing Truman out that I could barely hold my newborn baby boy to my chest. I remember the nurses helping me with multiple pillows, they inclined the head of the hospital bed (as I still hadn't made that bloody trek out of said bed just yet), and they gave words of advice. I'm pretty sure he latched on that first time but we were both pretty pooped out and overwhelmed by it all.

The Lactation Consultant visited us at the hospital on the second day. I loved Lori to death from the night that we met her during our breastfeeding class, when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. Nate and I both left that class feeling a little more confident that breastfeeding could be an achievable goal instead of just a hope floating by us. During her first visit to us, she gave numerous 'thumbs ups' to us as a nursing pair and she even called Truman 'Mister Perfect' because he had a textbook latch. I fumbled through the various 'holds' trying to find one that suited us best and although the football hold was kind of cute and fun, I stuck with the cradle and reverse cradle at times. I kept in touch with the Lori with frequent phone calls those first few weeks and I've been meaning to call her back to update her on 'Mister Perfect' and his nursing career lasting this long. She was a huge part of our success because of her kind heart, her patience, and her knowledge and I'm forever grateful for her time spent on us.

I recall nursing on night two at the hospital, in a horridly hard rocker---don't they know that post-partum nether regions are SUPER sensitive? I texted Hannah while I nursed, asking her if the intense uterus contractions lasted much longer for her. I didn't think I could stand the searing pain of my ute contracting down to a normal size with every suck, but sure enough that pain dissolved on the third day.

At our very first Pediatrician's visit at one week old, I was ecstatic to learn Truman was gaining weight at an acceptable rate. Nursing was working and even though it felt like he was permanently latched on my boob I was starting to enjoy this incredible bonding experience. Good thing, too, since he nursed 12 times in a 24 hour period sometimes for up to an hour at a time. So basically one hour on, one hour off around the clock. I remember those early weeks being full of uncertainty, lacking confidence that my body would do a good job in feeding my son, and wondering if it was possible that he was secretly starving to death. I feel that there is a lot of propaganda telling mothers that they cannot produce enough milk for their babies and supplementing is the only way to be sure they are getting enough. I am so grateful that I did not fall into that trap in those early 'scary' days and I feel completely blessed that somehow my body did it's job despite being under pressure to succeed.

The first time I pumped I was so discouraged by the teeny tiny DROPS in the bottles that I vowed to give it another week before I tried again. I asked around and apparently that was very normal but it still totally freaked me out and I couldn't bring myself to get into the routine at 2 weeks even though I wanted a nice fatty freezer stash for my return to work. Eventually I became besties with the dreaded pump of course but it was absolutely terrifying at first.

Looking down at Truman's little newborn body while he nursed was one of my favorite things to do. He was so teeny and curled up just perfectly into my chest and I loved looking at his chicken legs wrapping over my waist. I wondered how it was possible to nurse a growing toddler---I tried to imagine what it would look like from above, staring down on a big boy whose legs would dangle behind me somehow. Mind blowing: I simply could not picture it.

I was the lucky recipient of mastitis THREE times over: once at 3 weeks, once at 3 months and once at 6 months. Every time was absolutely horrid, complete with chills, body aches, red/angry streaks across my milkers, and near-mental breakdowns from pain/exhaustion. I always responded well to the antibiotics prescribed, though, and luckily Truman continued to nurse during those times, too.

I have so many memories involving my beloved/hated pump, it's hard to capture them all...

Pumping in my car....while driving (yikes, I know!). Trust me when I say that a hands-free pump bra and a nursing cover go a long way and I'm pretty sure it's not illegal and wasn't as distracting as you think. Pumping in my boss' office after hours, in a corner with lights out, praying nobody would come in the unlockable door. Taking those three clockwork pump breaks at my old hospital job, while typing notes, making calls, and literally juggling my job as a pumping mom. Pumping as a passenger on road trips to Missouri. Pumping during a bachelorette party. Taking breaks from visiting my family to pump in seclusion during a trip home. Pumping with a nursing cover in front of my in-laws. Pumping while knitting, while blogging, emailing, giving/getting foot rubs from Nate, eating, etc, etc, etc.

Not to be dramatic, but I endured blood, sweat, and tears for this breastfeeding journey. Blood: when I looked down at my pumping bottles to see pink milk. I must have rubbed my nipple raw that time and it scabbed over into a sad reminder of how much pumping sucks (get it?). Sweat: pumping in the back seat of my parked car in a Kohl's lot, not wanting to waste gas so I had the windows cracked instead. It was September and unusually hot and I was literally sweating at the end of this session, and then of course I was all cranky about sweating and being too hot. Tears: I remember sobbing while nursing Truman in the early weeks. It was in the middle of the night, I was exhausted, coming down with my first bout of mastitis, and feeling very insecure about my abilities to care for Truman. I cried to Nate that I felt inadequate, like I wasn't keeping Truman happy enough, and that breastfeeding must not be working because he wanted to nurse ALL the freaking time. Nate---as my level-headed partner must do---informed me that I was a great mommy and my milk was keeping Truman totally satisfied. Also, for the tears part, there was that time I spilled 2 ounces of freshly pumped milk as I was trying to screw on the lids to my bottles. Milk splattered EVERYWHERE and after I calculated what I lost, I did my best to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But that saying about not crying over spilled milk does not apply to pumping moms, FYI.

And although I spent a huge amount of time pumping in the past year, what I'm choosing to remember the most and what has made a lasting impression on me more than anything else are the sweet times spent nursing my baby boy. The way his pudgy fingers rested on my chest. The way his round, half-asleep eyes gazed up at me intently. His teeny little jaw moving up and down to gather the milk. It's amazing to me that he instinctively knew how to nurse from day one and he truly taught me all about breastfeeding more than any class could do. The bond that we have experienced through nursing is one I will never do justice in this blog post----there just aren't words to describe how blessed I feel to make it this long in our breastfeeding journey. I know that many women deal with circumstances beyond their control that end their breastfeeding journeys sooner than they had hoped and I am extremely grateful and humbled that I could keep going without major roadblocks. And I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone and not everybody cares to give it a shot. But I can honestly say it's been one of the most amazing privileges I've had in my life.

I am done pumping. I am still nursing. We are mixing cow's milk into our breastmilk bottles created from the last of the treasured freezer stash. And even if he stopped nursing tomorrow I would still say that I made it to a year---the badge of honor I've wanted for so long. Being a working mom who breastfeeds is harder than I ever imagined, and it's been one of the biggest challenges I've faced. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.

I hope that Truman continues to nurse once or twice a day until he wants to stop. But no matter when that happens I know I've done the best that I could do for him. And isn't that the ultimate goal in motherhood?

(my newborn baby---seems like yesterday. Maybe it's the impending birthday or the hormones that come with weaning/stopping pumping but I can barely handle these itty bitty pictures right now)

eleven months

Ah, month of January. What a month. I say this in all of these posts but this was a month of huge changes and it's like we have a different baby headed into February. For real. Someone make time stop slipping by so quickly. Eleven months? Gah!!





(this whole monthly photo shoot thing is becoming QUITE challenging...)


I literally made a list on a post-it note full of things Truman is doing this month. I also write in his baby book and in a paper journal occasionally and I feel like I'm still forgetting things on my list. Bottom line is that this child is more like a toddler---a grown up with feelings and emotions and personality and OPINIONS!!---and less like a baby every day. I tried to hold him like a baby one day when I felt especially sappy and he looked at me like I was a crazed lunatic. 'Mom. Please. You are embarrassing me and I'm too busy for this nonsense.' He either said that in so many words or shot me a death glare and began arching his back in defiance---I can't remember.

(lots of these pics are from our trip to MO in the beginning of January. So much fun!)




EATING:
Truman still nurses first thing in the morning and then takes three or four 6 ounce bottles during the day (one before each nap, possibly one before dinner, and one before bed). With approval from our Pediatrician, we started mixing a teeny bit of whole milk into the breastmilk bottles very slowly this month and he doesn't mind at all. I am only pumping three times a day at this point and am considering dropping a session very soon because we still have a freezer stash, too (and for the millionth time I HATE BEING A SEMI-EXCLUSIVE PUMPER!). I could go on and on about breastfeeding, pumping, and bottles because they still consume a large part of my mommy brain but I think I'll just do a 'working mom breastfeeds late in the game' post at some point instead. Dude loves his milk though, for sure. He can even hold his own bottle and guzzle it down when he feels like it which is both awesome and heartbreaking at the same time---talk about not being needed anymore!



Because he loves to keep us on our toes, Truman will adore solid foods one day and despise them the next. Sometimes he'll chow an amazing meal containing 'real' foods like veggies, meats, and fruits and other times he has a monogamous relationship starchy carbs like puffs, graham crackers, and Wheat Thin Sticks. We are still struggling to find table foods that he likes for longer than .2 seconds and Henry is absolutely bonkers over Truman's high chair now. He anticipates the food toss to the ground with a wagging tail and Truman always obliges. Gotta love when my cooking goes to the dog!



But I guess this moody foodie behavior is normal at this age and he's still a healthy, growing boy at 23 pounds which is back up to 65th percentile. Not sure about length but the kid seems super long these days. He's in all 18 month clothes and even some 24 monthers although I still try to squeeze on his 12 month outfits because I'm obviously having a hard time letting go of the babyhood. Pretty obvious when those small onesies' snaps are popping off his crotch like gunshots. Point taken. Embrace the toddler days.



(airport fun)


SLEEPING:
People, I am insanely grateful that this category is totally not a big deal anymore. When I think back about how Truman didn't sleep through the night until almost 9 months it makes my head hurt just remembering the lack of sleep. But now? Still all good at 11 months. He goes down at about 7 or 7:30 and started to wake at 5:30 this month after a nice stretch of 7:00 wake ups. Basically as long as he makes it until 5:30 I'll get up with him but anything before that is just ridic. And I'd love the nice 7 am baby alarm to return, but really---can I complain about him sleeping for 10 hours in a row as he wakes at 5:30? No. A little greedy on my part and I think I should just go to bed earlier, and enjoy that extra time with him in the mornings. Coffee assists me with this mindset a great deal, obvi. He still naps twice a day, usually totaling about 3 hours or less. So basically, sleeping gets a fatty 'check mark' for now. Instead I get to fill my worry jar with whether or not he's eating enough food or developing fast enough. Blasted worry jar!



MOTOR MILESTONES/PERSONALITY/ETC ETC:
This month my babe learned to do all kinds of fun physical things, such as but not limited to: pushing himself from lying down to sitting up; getting up on all fours and actually crawling a bit; pulling to stand; give open mouthed kisses; fake laugh to mimic our real laughs; and he has become a dancing fool. And yes, I realize that a lot of babies get on all fours, crawl, and pull up long before eleven months but if you do recall, Truman is on his own schedule apparently. Here comes the part when I say that I'm trying not to freak out or worry about him being 'delayed' (because he isn't and our doc is not worried whatsoever), blah blah blah. He's doing what he wants when he wants. Thus is the theme of being a parent and letting go of control, right?

Also, because he is a lightning fast crawler this is the month we finally sucked it up and put latches on all the cabinet doors to 'baby proof' the house. We are constantly moving Truman away from the 'no-no' areas of the house (like the ever-popular cords and Henry's toys) and it's fairly exhausting to keep up with him. We definitely have to parent a lot more now, trying to teach him right from wrong, and teaching him what is safe and unsafe. He will stare up at us with those big eyes as he reaches for something as if to say, 'Guys, is this okay for me to play with? Cause I'm going to do it anyway.'

(first big snowstorm and sledding with daddy---the first of many times as a Wisconsin boy I'm sure)


This was the month when he really amped up his imitation skillz and seems to 'get' it when I ask him to do something. He's really starting to communicate his wants and needs to us and it's pretty amazing to see this. I tell him to wave 'bye bye' to Grandma when we come upstairs and he does it without me gesturing now. He will blow raspberries back at me when I do it first, will smack his lips like he's blowing a kiss to me, will shake his head and 'dance' on command, and definitely says 'da da' referring to Nate. Literally, when Nate comes home in the evening Truman clearly says 'Da Da!' with an excited grin and it's the most adorable trick ever. The 'ma ma' thing is coming along but not yet perfected. Give us another month and we'll be pros with that too, I hope!



Obsessions include but are not limited to: pictures and videos of himself (especially on the computer---then it's a double whammy); electronics like our phones (cannot be tricked by those toy cell phones!); pointing to and reaching for anything of interest (especially pictures of himself); opening and closing doors (slamming Henry's tail in the process scores 5 more points); throwing objects out of drawers or bins (a great one for his neat-freak mama); placing toys on top of other toys (seriously, it's the coolest to put a Little People pig on top of the barn or a cracker on top of a sippy cup----total hilarity); slugging water out of mommy's water bottle; riding horsey on our laps (the rougher the better); and playing 'chase' with mommy. He'll start to crawl away from me then look back with a grin on his face, then I am forced to say 'I'm gonna get you!' in the creepiest voice possible, and he totally loses his mind and squeals as he crawls away in a panic. Iloveitsomuch.





Basically, he is figuring out the whole 'action/reaction' thing now and loves to have objects interact--like putting things into bins then taking them out, placing objects on top of others, opening and shutting doors, holding out an object for me to take and then ripping it back away from me. I love to watch his mind at work and could just sit and watch him play for hours. Oh, but except, he is such a little busy body that he won't sit still long enough to play with anything for longer than about 5 minutes. And if I leave the room he follows me and he's so fast I'll turn around and he's right at my feet. So pretty much I have to sit on the floor and play with him to keep him entertained and even that won't always work. Yes, we definitely have a bit of separation anxiety over here and daycare drop offs have been gut-wrenching for me. Real tears and reaching for me and---ugh---I can't even type about it.

(so much hair! and we switched to the big boy bathtub this month)


Lori and I worked out a plan where I walk in, hand him over and leave ASAP and it's working a lot better than me sticking around to talk. Obviously, seeing him cry when I leave for work is pretty much the worst thing in the entire universe for me at the moment and I know it's harder on me than him, since he perks right up for Lori and has a blast with the other kids. But boy, I miss my baby even more these days especially now that he is so much fun with a definite personality. At least we have our Wednesdays, Thursday afternoons, and weekends together and I really do feel more of a work/personal life balance with home care.



Headed towards a year old---extremely mobile, somewhat exhausting, tons of personality, and the most fun stage yet. It just keeps getting better and better and I'm excited to see what February brings!

Ten Months

Double digits already? Who took my squishy newborn and replaced him with a toddler-esque little dude? Let me simultaneously scream, 'No, slow it down!' and 'I adore each new phase, bring on the next!' because I can't decide which way to feel about this milestone.



oh, the changes.


I kind of like how I divided up the nine month post according to the hot topics in baby life: eating, sleeping, and motor milestones/achievements. Not that our lives can be fully captured in three topics but those are certainly the biggies, no?

Eating:
Let's analyze solids first and wait for the breastfeeding discussion a bit, shall we? Truman eats three meals a day plus one or two snacks but in the past few weeks he's caught his mommy's picky eater gene. At first he only wanted to feed himself and avoided all things spoon related and then that quickly morphed into him only wanting to eat what suited his refined palate at that very moment, which of course changes daily. Sometimes fruit is a hit and sometimes it totally fails. Sometimes graham crackers are like gold around here and other times they must taste like dirt. Basically we are happy when the kid agrees to eat ANYTHING we put in front of him because he definitely has opinions on what is good enough for his taste buds.



He tried his first french fry the other day at a restaurant and of course he chowed that down in record time. Sweets are always a success story, too, so I really do think he is trying to assert his opinion about food these days. Great. Grand. Wonderful. I guess the fact that he is gaining weight and eating 'enough' is what we'll go off of and I'll try to stop stressing about my kid tossing food on the ground, as if it's his personal mission in life to feed Henry the dog 5 ounces of people food a day. :) Needless to say Henry is a BIG fan of Truman these days.



The milk saga continues around here as Truman now nurses only once a day (if that), in the mornings right after he wakes up. That is when he is still sort of sleepy and cuddly and patient enough to wait for my let down. Otherwise, every other attempt at nursing is a no-go and usually leads me to feel like a total failure breastfeeding mom. I hate seeing him push me away as he turns his head to search out a new form of entertainment. But no matter how dark, quiet, and calm of a place we 'nurse' it doesn't work out anymore because this kid is simply on the move and cannot be bound by my boob. His distractedness is even affecting bottle feeding these days, as he can't sit still long enough to take in a whole bottle without NEEDING to get down and play/touch/search for various objects. I admit that when he is too restless for a bottle it does make me feel a little bit better about myself and my 'slow milk flow' because if the fast bottle doesn't cut it in Truman land then it must not be a personal thing against the tats. In fact, I'm certain that Truman is weaning himself from breastfeeding simply because he is a busy-body now and it's not because he doesn't love me. Isn't it sad to know that it took me a long time to be okay with this revelation, and not feel upset about it? He will usually take about 4 bottles in various amounts, totaling around 20 ounces each day. I'm sure you don't care about that but I'm big into milk numbers these days so you must oblige me.



So most days we get a loner nursing session in before we start our day, and sometimes even that is a struggle, and then it's me and my beloved/hated pump for four sessions each day. I am basically an 'exclusive pumper' now and I am usually pumping about 2-4 ounces less than what Truman takes in bottles in a given day. I counted up my freezer stash and we still have 200 ounces left but we have started to add an ounce of whole milk in breastmilk bottles occasionally because of our pending Missouri trip (leaving on Saturday 1/1 and not returning until Saturday 1/8!!!!). I won't have access to my stash down there so I need to make sure we have enough milk on hand or I will be incredibly ticked if I have to buy formula during our vaycay. Seriously. Two more months until his birthday---I am totally going to lean towards the finish line tape on this one and make it at all costs. And so whole milk is my friend to cushion our trip with a little extra milk padding. Wish me luck!

(Dressed up for his first Christmas!)


Sleep:
A much happier topic around here. (Sigh. Smile.) I'm beaming as I tell you that Truman now sleeps through the night about 90% of the time. Pause: let's remember that until he was 8.5 months old he NEVER EVER slept through the night, not even close. So this is still relatively new and awesome and is my one redeeming fact when I get sad about the lack of breastfeeding. Most of the time he goes down at 7:00 or 7:30 and sleeps until 6:30 or 7:00. Of course there are still times when he thinks it's necessary to begin a party in his crib at about 5:00 and then it's a tough call on our part---do we just start the day early since we can't really complain about a nice long sleep stretch like that; or do we have Nate give him a bottle to see if that will stretch it out a little more? Decisions decisions. Luckily we don't have to make that one too often.



Truman naps twice a day now, and has fallen into a pretty solid routine of passing out for about 2 hours in the morning and at least 1.5 hours in the afternoon. Gone are the days of 4 mini-naps and I can see that he'll be a once-a-day napper pretty soon. Again: such a big boy!!!

(spoiled, happy baby)


Milestones/achievements:
As if there was ever a doubt that my son is the product of two first-born, stubborn Germans--he proves he has his own agenda and is just now starting to army-crawl. Yes, I know that most babies check this off the list much much earlier than 9.5 months. But he totally didn't feel like it before, you know? It's like he felt his parents pushing him to crawl and so he defiantly ignored us and did it on his own terms. Now he is all about pulling himself forward on his belly and it practically became an obsession of his lately. Like, 'MOM I HAVE TO CRAWL TO THAT SPECK ON THE FLOOR OR I'LL JUST DIE!' type of a thing. Cute but not so cute when we have to actively guard all the non-baby type things in the house now. I'm sure it will only be worse when he is walking--but if we stay on this slower than the norm path it might be well past his one year birthday for that milestone.



Not up on all fours yet, but close. Not pulling to stand yet, but close. As I've said before this gives me great practice as a new mom who tends to be a little psychotic about my son because I'm learning to let him do things on his own time and not freak out as much. (stop laughing, I'm trying!). What's that saying about all babies doing things on their own clock, when they are ready? And the whole thing about not comparing your baby to others? I'm telling myself that Truman is perfectly healthy and isn't 'delayed' but he has a mind of his own. It seems like he prefers to focus on one task at a time, giving 100% of his attention to it until it's mastered, then he is able to move on and focus on something else. He might not be the first of his friends to crawl or walk but I have to remember it's not a race. He'll hit all the milestones when he is good and ready, I suppose. He is the boss and I'm not. Chalk that lesson up to motherhood's biggest pill to swallow.



He's gotten really into saying, 'Da Da' when he sees Nate. Simply adorable, right? But then again, he says 'Da Da' when I request that he says 'Ma Ma' instead. Not cute. Still waiting on my moment in the spotlight over here! He'll try to imitate a lot of sounds we make and sometimes he gets close. But when in doubt he always revert back to the old favorite 'Da Da.'



If there was a 'Like' button for opening and closing drawers, Truman would hit that baby about a million times per day. Drawers = sweetness. Also totally sweet? Watching objects fall from hand onto ground. It's totally mesmerizing to toss toys and food and everything possible and see how they fall.



Still clapping and waving and shaking head vigorously to say 'NO!' He will also making a farting sound with his mouth on command which is our prized trick of the month. Actually, imitating us make all sorts of sounds is a new fun thing around here and sometimes I swear Truman is trying to talk to us and relay actual information to us through sounds. His faves are still yelling, squealing, and making high-pitched vowel sounds in order to wake the neighbors. We are using baby signs when we think of it and I know he 'gets' some of it, some of the time. Yes, we are totally that couple who signs to our baby and it's actually pretty fun if you ask me. Signing 'more' and 'all done' and 'milk' and 'doggie' are the most frequently used signs when we can remember to use them.



In other news, he now has six freaking teeth. His two top middles came through this month with authority and are basically the cutest things in the world. Speaking of growing things, his hair is getting pretty awesome. A few long strays here and there and it's really filling out compared to his bald days.



Oh, and for at least a month, if not longer, diaper changes have become my least favorite activity. In fact, Nate and I might become professional alligator wranglers because Truman has perfected the alligator roll during changes. I know some of you can picture it: remove old diaper, and as soon as the new one is ready to go on, the baby starts to spin so you grab him by the feet and he keeps spinning. Thus the alligator roll. Horribleness all around. I've actually gotten really good at applying a diaper and various articles of clothing with Truman on his stomach or sitting up, or even crawling around. Sometimes I need to catch my breath and drink a recovery shake after those diaper changes because they are absolutely draining.

(our little hippie baby, straight outta San Fran)




So here we are at ten whole months. Sleeping more, staying in one place less, and worth every second of it. Bring on 2011 because 2010 was freaking awesome. :)

Nine Months

Niner. Three-fourths of a year, people. And let me tell you, the month of November brought us a whole new baby in many ways. Never a dull moment around here and I wouldn't have it any other way.


I wasn't noticing a huge difference between months until I realized that every monthly sticker is the exact same size. So if you compare the first month to the ninth you can see how much bigger his head has grown compared to those circle stickers....dang!


Let's begin with the mecca of all topics: SLEEP.
At his eight month post I reported that T was down to waking twice per night and I hoped that by this post we'd be talking about once or none at all. Then everything fell apart and we almost drowned. But then we turned a corner and I cannot believe that I'm typing this, but Truman sleeps through the night about half of the time now. The other half includes just one wake up time followed by a quick return to sleep. A-MAZ-ING. Life is suddenly happy again, the birds are chirping (through the snowflakes), and I remembered how to smile all because we are getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.

Our strategy? Well, first of all, if Truman does wake up at night, Nate is the one who goes into him. No mommy. Nate will offer Truman a bottle to see if he's truly hungry and since T knows there will be no boob time for plain old comfort he will usually take some of the bottle, or perhaps all of it. I have been getting up at the same time the boys are awake to pump. I know it's rather crazy but it let's me have a little bit of control in the situation and I'm awake at that point anyway. Some might wonder why I don't just nurse Truman if I'm going to pump instead but honestly, it was not working at night for us anymore. He'd only nurse for a little bit then fall asleep and sometimes he'd never even get a let down. But of course, if I tried to place him back in bed he'd wake up and freak out so really it wasn't accomplishing anything. With the bottle at least he doesn't have to wait for my milk to come in before he falls asleep again. Works for us!



Also, I nurse Truman before work like always (usually still a good successful session, too), he gets his two 6 ounce bottles at daycare, then we nurse after work around 5 pm and then I will offer a bottle to him right after that. The nursing session we have here is a short, distracted, quick one and most of the time he will take some of the bottle I give. Then he has a solids meal at dinner at 6 pm, nursing at 7 pm for a short session again, then bath, jammies, books, and a bottle. This extra bottle before bed in addition to nursing is the key to our sleeping success, I just know it. I really think my supply is just lower at night and Truman's attention span is even shorter and thus a nursing session plus a bottle equals a full baby who can sleep better. I pump again before bed to make up for that bottle and although I thought I was pumping a lot before (with my three sessions during work) I am now the queen of the pump with sometimes 5 or even 6 sessions in 24 hours. INSANE. But at least my supply is sticking around for now and at least we still do get to nurse three times in a work day.

(Hi, stuffed Henry dog!)

At his 9 month well-baby check up I asked our doctor about possibly starting whole milk before the one year mark if my supply can't keep up with Truman, and if our stash disappears like I think it will. Our doctor is awesome and was totally supportive of my goal to avoid supplementing if possible and gave us the green light to start mixing whole milk into breastmilk bottles slowly. Obviously, I won't go there until my stash is almost gone but at least I know we can push the cow's milk a little early if needed. It just seems silly to switch to formula for a month or two and then go to cow's milk after that. Gotta have a plan! And really, I'm just trying to take this thing one day at a time to avoid a major freak out moment. I want my baby to be fed and happy and sleep well and if bottles allow that to happen more than my boob, I need to accept that. I mean, we are still nursing for now and it's lovely to also get good sleep at night so I shouldn't complain. The evolution of our nursing relationship is becoming an easier pill to swallow for sure. If anything, I cherish our quick nursing sessions even more now and hope they continue but we shall see.

(Trouble-makers)


Next topic: FOOD

I already beat the breastfeeding horse to death in the above paragraphs, so I think I've covered the milk part of the food equation. :) But also, solids are a huge hit for Truman right now. This month Truman decided that eating purees from a spoon is SOOO last month. He really only wants to feed himself finger foods now which is great but also a little stressful. I mean, when he ate three cubes of purees in a sitting I knew he was getting enough without a doubt. But now he just munches on random things and half of the food ends up on the floor for Henry. Great for the dog but not for the kid.



I've been sneaking in a bite or two of purees between his finger food experiments and it's working okay so far. The doc said that was fine, too, and really Truman can just eat finger foods if that is all he wants. I just have to be creative in figuring out healthy foods that are chopped up now instead of blended. So far peas, blueberries, and apples are the biggest 'healthy' winners but graham crackers and animal crackers are like crack to this child. He definitely has a sweet tooth like his mom and dad, big surprise.

He eats three meals of solids a day and at least one 'snack', too. It's so cute to see him eating big boy foods in his high chair and it doesn't make me as sad as it once did back in the day. This is just such a fun stage it's hard to be sad about the passage of time!

Oh, and the stats from the doctor's appointment affirmed my thought that baby boy is really thinning out.

Weight: 20 pounds, 13 ounces ( 56th percentile)
Height: 28.75 inches (67th percentile)

The doctor assured me that this drop from the 88th percentiles when T was 2-4 months is totally normal. He said breastfeeding babies who start solids and become very mobile will thin out and especially considering that Nate and I are both fairly thin, it makes sense that Truman doesn't stay at the top of the charts forever. I miss my chunky monkey fatty baby but still, a long and lean dude fits in well with our family, too. He's still 'big' I'd say, since he is wearing 18 month clothes but he is less of a hippo apparently, too. :)




MOTOR MILESTONES:

Truman's favorite new things this month are clapping, waving, throwing his arms overhead for 'so big' at random times, pointing, high-fiving his dad, shaking his head 'NO' with avengence and slamming two toys together for fun. He also loves to say, 'da da da' over and over and sometimes I swear he looks right at Nate as if he gets it. Who knows. No 'ma ma' just yet but that is okay. We all know I'm his fave. :)



He gets around like a wild man now and this is the first month we really had to worry about babyproofing things. But the weird thing is, he isn't technically creeping or crawling. He doesn't pull up to a stand yet. And yet, he is totally mobile on his belly scooting around, spinning, rolling, and successfully getting to where he wants to be. I was worried that he isn't getting up on all fours yet, isn't really army crawling, and doesn't pull to stand yet because I'm a psycho first-time mom who worries incessantly about her child's development. But the doc did ease my mind a bit to say that Truman is not delayed at all with these tasks. He wasn't worried and so I guess I won't be, either. Do you see a theme here? Doctor calms crazy mom and tells her to chill out about all worries regarding babe. Good things at that appointment, my friends.

He can go from sitting to his tummy with ease now (less face slamming into the ground at least) and is much better at sitting and turning around on his butt to see different things without toppling over. This child can entertain himself with toys for minutes on end which is pretty good for a nine month old I think. His fine motor skills using his hands to manipulate any and everything is astounding and I just love watching him explore the world.



He also tries to eat the ottoman at times, but whatev. Obvi he is a genius.




So that's that: nine months of fun. A mobile, independent baby who is changing before our eyes every day. He proves that old cliche is true: It just keeps getting better. :)



Bring on December and our first Christmas with baby. Can.Not.Wait.

Hanging on for dear life

The frequency of blog posts: it's a good measure for the amount of chaos in one's life. So it goes without saying that life has been a roller coaster of emotions full of ups and downs in the past few weeks. And thus, one huge post for you to read is a result of this chaos. Settle in for the ride, folks.

There's nothing major going on over here--nobody is sick or dead or hurt. But the main issue we are enduring is related to sleep, or more specifically, the lack thereof. Truman has never been a great sleeper, but we were fairly adjusted to frequent wakings at night and everyone was functioning at an acceptable level during the day. Then things got a little better and T was only waking about once or twice per night, for very short nursing sessions, as I announced in his eight month post. And then? All hell broke loose and the bottom fell out and we started to drown from sleep deprivation. It all started about two weeks ago but I can honestly say that the days on the calendar are like one giant blur and my brain hasn't worked well in what seems like forever.

He began to wake four times in a night, with at least one of those times including an hour or two full of fighting the return to sleep. He'd nurse each time in the rocker, pass out in my arms, and when I'd go to place him in the crib his eyes would snap open and he'd begin to chat or fuss for what felt like an eternity, until I'd cave and nurse him again to start the process over. So basically, we got about 4 hours of broken sleep if we were lucky. And then to top it off, his normally painless bedtime routine---the one that used to result in him falling asleep the first time pretty easily---became another time of fighting the sleep fairy. All of a sudden he wouldn't fall asleep nor stay asleep and the nights were our worst enemies.

Nate and I were at our wits end. We just couldn't understand what happened to our happy baby. Who took our Truman and replaced him with a grumpy, over-tired, clingy baby who wasn't even himself during the daytime anymore because he was so tired? I took him into the doctor AGAIN last week for another ear check (third time in the past few months if you are counting) because I needed to hear that something wasn't seriously wrong with little man. His ears were fine but the doctor did listen to my concerns that something just wasn't right. He said that if Truman wasn't back to his old self in one week to bring him back in and we'd investigate further.

It could be teething. It could be a growth spurt. It could be separation anxiety. Or a combination of them all in one big ugly ball of sleeplessness. But whatever it was, Truman wasn't sleeping and just wanted to nurse all night long---sleeping with boob in mouth only. It wasn't working, my friends. Something had to give.

And so this past weekend we were supposed to travel to St. Louis for Tilly's one year birthday party. We were so looking forward to this trip and had planned to drive down after full day of work on Friday and drive home on Sunday. Midway through last week we started to wonder if being confined to a car for that many hours with a fussy baby was a good idea; not to mention, having him sleep in an unfamiliar place, to further throw off any sense of normalcy. We decided to see how Wednesday night went before making our decision and Truman made it for us when he woke at 9:15, 11:00 and from 3:00-4:30. Ugh. No St. Louis trip for us and we had to miss Tilly's party in the name of our sanity and potential sleep.

It was a tough pill to swallow and reality smacked us in the face pretty hard with that decision. Times have changed. Gone are the days when a 'quick' getaway to Missouri is possible without consequences in baby-land. All of a sudden the distance between Milwaukee and St. Louis seems a whole lot farther and yet, I know we made the right decision---the responsible, adult-like decision. But it still sucks.

I started to really feel sorry for myself. One giant pity party, complete with wallowing, sadness, and of course when you are so sleep deprived you can barely form a sentence life seems pretty bleak. I could barely function at work because all I could think about was falling into bed at night. I was a grumpy mommy with puffy bags under her eyes and a snarled lip at all times. Twas ugly, my friends.

In case you haven't noticed by now, I am a very Type-A, black and white, control freak who needs ANSWERS people. I needed a straight up reason for Truman's decline in sleeping so that I could come up with a nice little solution, one that fit perfectly in a box with a big stamp on it that said 'guaranteed to work'. As I sat at the doctor's office and informed our doc about this need for point-blank answers he sort of smiled and I knew what he was going to say: 'Parenting is fully of gray-areas. And sometimes there are no definitive answers.' In laymens terms: roll with the punches lady and try to sit back and enjoy the ride.

On Friday I decided we needed a new strategy: we would eliminate the boob variable at night, thus eliminating a mommy-appearance all together. Only daddy and only a bottle would be offered to Truman in order to see if he was actually hungry when he woke, or if he just wanted the comfort of the ta-tas. Truman woke twice that night and took a few ounces the first time and a big fatty 6 ouncer the second time. And that morning when I woke up I had a total light bulb moment that made a lump swell in my throat...

Breastfeeding wasn't working well anymore. Gulp.

You see, Truman has been nursing for about 3-4 minutes max for a few weeks now. He gets totally distracted and fussy like, 'Oh, Mom! There's Henry! There's this awesome pillow I must touch! Did I hear a door close next door? What is that interesting picture frame doing over there? Must.Go.Explore!' Typical nine-monther, right? He doesn't want to sit still and after the initial let down he would pull away and I figured he'd had enough.

But after our 'daddy-only' trial I had a feeling of dread that told me something else was going on. Truman wasn't patient enough to wait for more milk to flow from the boob because he is the typical nine month old. But that didn't mean he was necessarily full after such a short feeding. What if he was totally famished at night after a few sub-par nursing sessions in the evening, which is why he would wake up and want to nurse but fall to sleep during the process? What if my baby was just hungry? I had always been so resistant to upping Truman's intake during the day in order to help him sleep at night because I just thought it was a crock and didn't work that way.

So we decided to do another 'trial' of sorts during the day on Saturday: after every nursing session I would offer him a bottle. And sure enough, he'd take anywhere from 1 ounce all the way up to 6 full ounces (in the evening, when my supply is at it's lowest). Which meant that my son who loved to nurse was basically starting to wean himself from the breast, preferring the bottle, because he just isn't patient enough for my slower flow. Weaning? Ouch.

You can guess that I took this pretty hard. I might have cried a bit and moped around and mourned the loss of our old breastfeeding days---even though he IS still nursing a bit. But I just love nursing Truman so much. It's our sweetest time to bond after being away during the day and watching him look up at me with those big eyes, reaching up for my face makes my heart melt every time. Giving him a bottle of my milk just isn't the same even though I know that is what he needs. And I guess we'll still have our 3 minutes of bonding for now. :)

So all day Saturday T got the boob followed by the bottle, including right before bed. Do you want to place a bet on what happened next?

Truman slept through the night that night.

I will pause and let this sink in. This is my son who has NEVER EVER slept through the night in his nearly nine months of life (well, I think he did one time at 3 months but that might have been a dream).

When Nate and I woke up on Sunday we were seriously delirious with happiness. We had heard T 'talk' for a few minutes at 1:45 and 5:30 but he fell back to sleep before we even knew what was happening. He woke for the day at 6:30 and all three of us were like different people: we were actually happy and well-rested! Life was good again and we were beaming with pride as if T had landed a spacecraft on the moon or something. For reals.

Sunday we continued with our new recipe of boob-then-bottle and sure enough, he slept through the night again that night. There is a God.

I'm not naive enough to think that this will always happen from here on out. But I do think we've paid our dues to the sleeping gods with this child and deserve a few nights of blissful sleep in stretches longer than 2-3 hours. Of course we've gotten all kinds of superstitious about this and have to place him in the same type of jammies now, performing the same exact routine at night, etc etc to ensure more nights of success. It definitely feels like it's too good to be true and might be a short-lived fluke but we are trying to just enjoy this restful time while it lasts.

And so that is what has been going on, my friends. My baby is sleeping at night but it cost me my breastfeeding ego. Once I finally realized that maybe my breastfeeding journey will take a detour before I'm ready to go astray, I think the missing piece of the sleeping puzzle was found. I'm going to miss the days when Truman would nurse until he was totally full and satisfied but I knew it couldn't last forever. And you better believe that I'm crazy enough to continue 'exclusively pumping' my milk for him to have in bottles so that I can avoid formula if possible. I mean, I have about 12 more weeks to go until he's one year old and won't 'require' formula. We could go right to cows milk at that point (and maybe a little before his birthday if needed) and then I can decide what to do from there. And yes, I do still have my 300 ounces of breast milk in our deep freeze. I suppose I will have to release my death grip on those baggies, too, in the name of making it to one year.

Nate sweetly mentioned that he's proud of me for handling this so well. I guess he knows that it's hard for me to admit my boobs just aren't cutting it for T-man anymore. It's hard to move on to the next phase of nursing plus bottles, and even MORE pumping. But I'll live. I know some of you won't understand why I'm making this such a big deal and others of you will totally get it, and that is okay. Bottom line is that I still have a happy, healthy baby boy and life is good. Especially when there is sleep in that life---then things are shiny and happy and glorious again.

No-it's not the end of the world but it's definitely the end of an era---one that I thoroughly enjoyed sharing with my first-born baby boy. I hope he obliges me the short but sweet nursing sessions for a few more months and I already find myself soaking in those times more than I have in the recent weeks. I've loved nursing you, Truman. Be kind to mommy and ease off slowly, okay?

Gained: sleep
Lost: sufficient nursing sessions

A lot can change in a few weeks, huh? And in my nine months of motherhood I have learned that just when you think things are figured out, the babe goes and changes it on you again. So we'll enjoy the lull before the next storm for now.

7 months

{I will not comment on the fact that I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks. Life is beyond crazy around here and my motivation to blog is severely lacking. But as I promised before I HAVE to document at least a monthly post so I don't forget the craziness that is our life. Hang in there with me!}

Seven months old. Rounding up to one year instead of rounding down to one day old. A mixture of sadness and excitement comes with this monthly birthday because although I love every new stage Truman enters I can't quite grasp the fact that he is getting so 'old'. :)

(these photo shoots are getting exponentially harder as the months go on. Couldn't get a good one for the life of me)




The month of September was probably the most eventful span of days in this kid's life so far. He had his last day at his first daycare, then flew on his first airplane for a trip to Missouri. When we got back, he started his new daycare with Miss Lori, mommy started a new job, then he popped his first two teeth within days of each other, caught a cold (his third so far), came down with his first ear infection, and then we flew again for Keri's wedding. Needless to say we've struggled with keeping any sort of routine around here and instead focused on getting baby boy healthy again. Oh, and remembering to breathe while treading water--that's the motto for our life these days.

(Any Mizzou fans out there? Truman the Tiger making an appearance...along with wool longies)



I have a new found love for Amoxicillin because it brought my happy baby boy back to me. But that happy baby boy has a new found hatred for the bubble gum flavored stuff and getting him to take it twice a day for ten days was absolute hell. I pray that the ear infection is completely healed and never ever returns, considering I had the worst baby ears ever back in the day. Here's hoping that was the only one! It was awful and he was cranky and in pain and couldn't sleep and I'm patting myself on the back for following my gut and demanding the doctor to see him before we flew for the wedding, even though they thought it was 'just teething' and 'just a cold'. Hooray for a mother's intuition.

(our little family at Keri's wedding. Note the disgustingly cute outfit made by my mom).


(my men before the wedding---swoon.)


(what a ham)


(best shot I have of his nubbin teeth---which are actually a LOT bigger today but he is shy about flashing those chompers, I guess).


As far as milestones go, this past month brought us a semi-mobile baby. He is rolling onto his tummy constantly now and even manages to roll onto his back at times too (a miracle!). Once he's on his preferred stomach he can pivot around and spin in circles, scooting a little bit along the way. No matter how many blankets I put onto the floor he somehow manages to scoot onto the shockingly dirty hardwood just to spite me. He's definitely sitting unsupported now although I don't quite trust him to sit up without me nearby since he'll take an occasional face plant if I'm not careful. Can I just say that I am SO not ready for a rough and tough boy who gets hurt while on the move? I preferred my little blob baby who wouldn't move an inch once I set him down. Much safer that way. :)

(before the rehearsal)


(Missouri Grandma was a fab babysitter during mommy's bridesmaid duties)


(very serious in the mornings)


He loves to grab every.single.object within a two foot radius (ie my hair, Nate's glasses, toys, Henry, our food, etc.) I can tell his grasp is improving because he'll gently turn toys around in his hands and if he's feeling super-loving, he'll even give me a little love pat on my cheek while he nurses. But then again, those hands have discovered his manly bits, too, and bath time has now become 'let me squeeze my junk' time for Truman. It's hilarious and disturbing all at once. I vote for Nate to talk to his son about fondling himself in public---definitely a manly talk that I'll avoid at all costs.



(note the skilled hand usage. Sophie is still a hit)




His stats at the doctor's office still show a big, healthy baby boy weighing in at 19 pounds 6 ounces, and measuring just over 28 inches. He's still up in the 80th percentiles for his growth although I think he looks ultra-slim compared to his two month photos and he's wearing 12 month clothing at this point. His new big boy wardrobe is too stinking cute, if you ask me, but then again--I'm pretty biased.


(a fave for his smile and the cute outfit)


(his weekend lounge wear)




He's eating about 3 ounces of purees at daycare and then another 1-2 ounces here for dinner. So far carrots are the biggest hit around here followed by butternut squash. Peas are still the biggest failure in the history of babies and we will not be trying those again. :) Breastfeeding is still plugging along although I'm pretty anxious over the changes in our routine possibly leading to a decrease in my supply. I'm having a hard time pumping in my car more than twice in a work day and Lori thinks Truman would eat more than his 4 ounce bottles at daycare. So we are trying 5 ounces now, usually 3 bottles but sometimes 2 and sometimes 4 bottles total, and I'm striving to pump at least 3x/day to match his input. It's hard though, and stressful, and I have to allow us to use a bit of our 300 ounce freezer stash without feeling like a failure. I know it's ridiculous to stress so much over the liquid gold especially when we have a stock-pile but I just can't help it---I am determined to make it to one year without supplementing because I'm just that stubborn about goals I set for myself. If we have to use a bit of our freezer stash to make it, so be it---but let's all pray to the breastfeeding gods to ask for my supply to hang in there for big T-man. Five more months, boobies--you can do it!!









Truman is still a happy little dude 90% of the time and all of the cliches still ring true (as annoying as they sound). He really is the light of my life; he really did change our world; and coming home to him after a long day at work really does melt my heart with happiness. He's happy, healthy, eating well, napping like a champ, and is super fun. But if there is any aspect of life that is a challenge for Truman it's definitely sleeping at night. I don't even have the energy to elaborate on the subject but let's just say he is nowhere near sleeping through the night and is still coming to bed with us after waking up in his crib, nursing in our bed multiple times. I'm feeling the pressure from numerous sources to teach Truman to stay in his crib all night since it will just be harder to accomplish as he ages. But I'm torn about what to do at this point. I keep saying once life settles down I'll try nursing him in the rocking chair and placing him back in his crib but every time I try that it leads to hours of lost sleep for me. Totally not cool and very inconvenient when I have to work the next day. Someday he'll sleep through the night consistently and I'm sure he'll have a new 'issue' to work through at that point. But for now this is our biggie. And really, if that's the worst thing we have to deal with (not sleeping through the night) then we have it pretty good, right?

Onto the eighth month....I can't wait to see what this one brings. Let's hope it's a little less-eventful than the last. :)

------------------------------------------------------------------

(I really should do a whole post on Keri's wedding but that requires a lot of effort. Here is one shot of the gorge bride, who held Truman's fascination obviously).



(and here are a few more for fun)





(Race for the Cure the morning after the wedding---celebrating our survivor)







(Tilly and Truman...sitting in a tree)