39 weeks | Baby #4

And he's going to be a July baby! This is the month, no matter what. Yowzers.



Looks bigger from the other side for some reason:


Some fun end-of-pregnancy info for you: on Thursday evening I got a prenatal massage and it was so delightful that I cannot even explain. So relaxing and just what I needed, why didn't I get these every week for the past month?? I walked to and from the appointment in an effort to get things slightly moving in the right direction, cervically speaking. ;)

Then at 1am the next morning, I woke up to pee and felt pretty crampy. Then I noticed very obvious contractions that were coming regularly. Hmmm. Interesting and annoying since it was the middle of the night and I was tired. I started timing them at 2 am to find they were coming every 5 minutes like clockwork, lasting 1 minute and were difficult to sleep through. By 3 am I decided to put in my headphones and listen to Hypnobabies tracks. It was either the start of the real deal or not, but either way I just wanted to collect my thoughts and try to rest. I knew I could hop up and start walking around the house, bouncing on a ball, take a shower or something else to push things into labor.....or I could just lay down and see what happened. I decide to stay chill and by 5 am, Nate's alarm went off for the day, and my contractions were coming 6-9 minutes apart. I fell back asleep for about an hour and my alarm went off for work at 6am. Bummed that nothing had come of that little stint of contractions, I got ready for work feeling like the switch had flipped and I am now officially ready to have this baby.



I got to work a little later than usual, just moving slower and feeling slightly strange like, 'is this a good idea to be at the office today?' and arrived to see my co-workers sitting around waiting for me. A big table full of amazing breakfast foods, coffee, flowers and a sweet card with a gift certificate for ANOTHER pre-natal massage awaited me. My sweet co-workers were throwing me a baby breakfast and we sat around eating and chatting for a solid 45 minutes before we actually got to work. Of course, now this means that going into the office tomorrow on Monday will feel like a bit of a let down, but with the holiday week not everyone will be there anyway. It was very special and unexpected and made for a great Friday.



Seems to have dropped!


My OB appointment was at 2pm and when she walked in she said, 'Well, you're still pregnant, huh?' I told her I didn't think I would be based on the early morning antics, but she agreed that just resting was probably the best thing to do since it was the middle of the night. I'm now a 'one plus' dilated, up from a regular old 'one' last week. Then I'm 75% effaced instead of 70%...so really no different but my goodness he is so low. And he's active and seemingly very happy, so there's nothing to do except keep waiting. We haven't talked induction because I have another appointment the day before my due date, this upcoming Friday. I'm thinking we will talk induction at that time and I will probably have my choice of how far to push this thing. I REALLY want to go on my own but I also agree that going past 41 weeks is not a great idea at this stage in the game for many reasons.



My mom flies in on my due date and Nate is off work the week following my due date. I really want to have him on or by my due date! Do you hear that, baby boy?? Come out and meet us, we are ready for you!

But then again, I know it's still pretty early to expect labor at just 39 weeks. The false alarm on Friday morning, plus feeling constant BH contractions, strange 'leaky' sensations (TMI, TMI, Sorry!),  and zingers down there have me feeling positive like it's going to happen on it's own. I pulled out the exercise ball and started bouncing on it one night this week and plan to keep walking as much as I can tolerate. I'm so freaking out of shape, too---not sure when I stopped walking on the treadmill and outside during this pregnancy but yeah, should have probably kept that up! Anyway, it was a good appointment and she gave me a big hug, hoping to see me at delivery instead of my next appointment. I also found out her daughter's birthday (her fourth child!) is on July 4th, so she can't be there to deliver me on July 3 or July 4, celebrating her own fourth kid's birthday. So now I hope I have him tonight on July 2, or just wait until July 5-9th. Putting that out into the universe!!

Friday evening after work, I did not feel like cooking or compiling any sort of dinner, so I texted Nate that we should meet at a nearby pizza place for dinner. He had golfed that afternoon (rough life) and agreed that pizza sounded perfect. I pushed CC and Porter in the double stroller and Truman walked with me as we headed to eat. It was a glorious evening outside with delicious food and perfect weather. I slept amazing Friday night, which was much needed, and woke up feeling more like myself on Saturday.







Root beers, don't worry:


It's been an excellent weekend with the fam, even though I definitely feel the 'could this be the day??' maddening thought entering my head already. I'm focusing on staying positive that things will go down just the way they are supposed to happen. He will come when he's ready. He's in the perfect position for a wonderful birth. My body knows what to do. I'm ready to do this whenever he is ready to do it with me! And I will do my best to remain patient even though we are just so stinking excited to hold this baby boy and get the show on the road. End-of-pregnancy is such a trip, as many of you know.

Beautiful Saturday night on a friend's farm.


Frequent couch naps:


Took a major digger on the concrete yesterday, poor buddy!! He will probably look fairly rough for his first 'big brother' pictures. Good thing he is super tough and barely cried.


Summer! Strong (gangly) dude:


So basically, I'm feeling good overall. I'm not at the end of my mental rope or anything but I'm headed in the direction of being REALLY freaking ready. The track 'Visualizing Your Birth' on Hynobabies is my new favorite. Bags are packed, nothing else to buy to prepare for his birth....hoping this is my last weekly post! But if not, and I hit 40 weeks on Saturday, it will be okay that way, too. I think I was already shedding some tears or at least I was getting extremely cranky with Porter's pregnancy at this point. I still had another nine days to go, too;) With Cecelia's pregnancy, I was doing alright but felt eager to get her here safely at this point, but she would be here in just four more days. And with Truman? He was already a week old!!

When people ask me if I'm ready, and if there are any signs of this kid coming soon I like to say that I've been two weeks early, two days early (basically right on time), and three days late with my other pregnancies. So it's anyone's guess as to how this fourth babe will enter this world. I have a feeling he's going to be his own little person with his own opinions and personality and we cannot wait to see his sweet baby face. Gah, I get so emotional just thinking about it. Reflecting on pregnancy, imagining his birth day, and then preparing for life with a newborn and FOUR kids....what a special time in our lives. Insanely special, actually.

Signing off for now, but you know you can find me (stalk me for an announcement?) on Instagram a little easier than the blog: user name mrsjuliagoolia.

Will probably be posting here next weekend with an overdue update! ;)

38 weeks | Baby #4

Last possible comparison of all four pregnancies, since Truman was born right at 38w0d (because of induction with pre-eclampsia)!



So, this photo comparison really stressed me out for awhile today.  I ended up tossing the original, and took the above current picture tonight instead of using the one I took this morning. It just seemed like my belly looked SO SMALL and I started feeling a little panicky, like, 'Maybe everyone is right, I'm really too small and this baby is having a growth restriction or something.' Which is ridiculous and not at all 'zen' like I'm intending to be, but still. It was a very real concern for me this morning. Now the above picture doesn't seem so starkly different this time compared to the others. I mean, I'm carrying differently all four times (I actually think this belly looks more like Cecelia's than anything!) but I certainly don't think this baby is 5 pounds while my others were 7-8, you know? Just goes to show that my belly is definitely bigger in the evenings, or he's settled down lower as the day goes on.

It also goes to show that I'm a head case, in case you weren't already keenly aware of this fact. Yes, the end of pregnancy 'crazies' have entered. Watch out.



I've also been a little bit obsessed with birth stories this past week, listening to The Birth Hour podcast every day, and looking up 'positive' stories online. I also watched The Business Of Being Born again, on Netflix, knowing that it really knocks hospital births and also features a birth go 'wrong', with a breech baby coming at 34 weeks and needing a C-section. That baby had a growth restriction, which is probably why I was concerned with that issue today, I guess. I've come to realize that no matter how many 'positive' birth stories I read/hear, there are still going to be scary things that happen along the way. One of the stories on the podcast was great, but even just having her mention that she knew of two full-term babies dying in utero 'from being overdue' was enough to make me panicky. Yes, horrible things can happen at the end of pregnancy, during birth, and immediately after...and beyond. But I still get to choose my thoughts and have to let go of the fears. Deep breaths.

Despite all of that mumbo jumbo, my Hypnobabies tracks have been super helpful and I really like the Fear Clearing Session the best, plus the Visualizing Your Birth track is amazing. It's still incredibly challenging to stay awake during the tracks but it is possible;) Aside from some heavy worries creeping into my mind, I'm mostly feeling super excited for labor and delivery. The sense of dread that arrives, knowing what I'm up against, hasn't hit me yet. Perspective can be a beautiful thing when it comes to motherhood---subsequent children have reaped the benefits of me being more laid back, more 'this too shall pass,' and less 'OMG, is it going to be this hard FOREVER?' But aside from perspective on motherhood, I now have perspective on birth itself. I haven't had 'bad' births by any means, but they have all been fairly riddled with anxiety and worries over what could go wrong. When the first killer contraction hit with subsequent labors, I vividly remember being like, 'Nope, I hate this, I cannot do it again.' This time I want to hold onto the perspective that I can and I will have to do it again. The intensity of labor will be a microsecond in the big picture of my life. Temporary and worth it.

I can't control how or when it all goes down but I can absolutely control my thoughts. I will tell myself that it's going to be a beautiful, peaceful, quick birth. And that I deserve that! It really is one of the most magical moments imaginable, isn't it? As mothers, we get to bring another human being into this world, from inside our bodies. It's seriously indescribable and gets me all emotional just thinking about it....yes, even the fourth time around. What a privilege. Man, it's hard to wrap my head around giving birth SO FREAKING SOON.

Veins are out of control.


Anyway. OB appointment on Friday went well. Baby measures on track (but again, I'm wondering if the uterus measurement is really that accurate), I'm up two more pounds, BP is good, and I'm still 1cm dilated but now 70% effaced. Looking back at other pregnancies, I was totally closed and not effaced with Truman's induction, was closed but 50% effaced two days before Cecelia was born, and was 1.5-2 cm and 50% effaced with Porter the week before he was finally born. I wasn't even going to have her check me on Friday but figured, 'what the heck?'. Internals don't really bother me and I don't think it means much either way, but it's nice to know SOMETHING is happening down there.

Side note: I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about how I should do an excel spreadsheet comparing my four pregnancies in various categories. #Loser

This is how my belly looks when I wake up in the morning. CRAZY compact and lumpy, and yes I've been sleeping in a sports bra and shorts lately. I'm a heater, can't help it.


We had a good discussion about induction this time: I told my OB I really want to avoid Pitocin if at all possible. She didn't bat an eye and said, 'Of course, that's not a problem, as long as you aren't more than one week overdue.' She said if I hit my due date we will discuss a date for induction a week later, and honestly---as much as I hate Pitocin, I think going past 41 weeks with my fourth baby sounds just as horrible;) I feel like if I DO surpass my due date, I could probably convince my OB to just break my water instead of using pit to start an induction. I mean, both breaking my water and starting Pitocin are game-changers for me. Once my water breaks (happened naturally, pretty early on in labor for both Truman and CC, my OB broke it for Porter at around 4cm) the contractions get crazy intense. And of course, Pitocin with both boys meant that the contractions were right on top of each other, very intense, and sometimes would piggy back without a break. If I have any shot of remaining calm, peaceful, and in control it has to be without Pitocin, it just has to! So I'm visualizing a birth similar to Cecelia: no pitocin needed, no artificial breaking of my waters, really pretty quick overall (I went from a 2-10cm in 3 hours). BUT, I want less anxiety and want to remain mentally in control the entire time, without the pivotal freak-out moment.

And as far as the epidural goes, the more I contemplate, the more I think I can probably convince myself to just forgo the wretched 'waiting' period from the time when I decide I need it and the time I actually get it. Not to mention sitting still while the anesthesiologist places the gigantic needle is THE WORST, and the last two of three epidurals I've had really did not help that much. I just read back over my birth stories for Cecelia and Porter and noted that by the time I got both of those epidurals, I was already at an 8cm and really didn't think they helped with pain management all that much. SO AGAIN, perhaps I can just skip the agonizing wait, sitting still, and then being disappointed by the continued pain of labor with an epidural and go without? The key here is time: if I can progress quickly, I have confidence I can just plow through without the drugs. If things are happening slowly (please, God, no!) then I know it will be really rough to stay focused.

Lots of rambling in this post already, huh? It's like a stream of consciousness, 100% focused on birth. Yay? Yikes.

This week at work I noticed myself wrapping things up, to prepare for maternity leave. I still plan to work until my due date (at least?) but it's nice to know that as I walk out of the building, everything is pretty much in order in case I'm not back there until October. Having typical thoughts about my water breaking at work (the horror!), or as I'm driving home for the day. It's wild to think I will be there maybe ten more days, max!

Nesting is in FULL FORCE this week. I am super proud to say that the basement is now officially organized and everything for the baby has been sorted/washed/set out and ready to go. The attic is also completely bare, ready for one more haul to the dumpster or recycling. I found a Mamaroo swing on Craigslist and picked it up this week, which is something that's been on my list since....forever? Really wish I didn't sell ours but I'm glad I found another one online;) The baby's adorable coming home outfit arrived, my mom sent me a new mother's necklace with all four names on it (!!) and my hospital bag is basically ready to go.

Taking it to the next level, I scrubbed our shower tile while listening to a podcast this week. I cleaned toilets and our kitchen sink, which I tend to label as 'semi-deep cleaning' and something that I definitely don't do every week. I'm definitely feeling like this baby cannot come home to a filthy house and also, I have a feeling my standards for what 'clean' really is will change vastly after this child arrives. It will have to change or I might go crazy, so might as well get everything up to par now while I can!



ALSO, we officially broke ground on the house construction this week. We are now have two giant holes in the backyard with the beginnings of 'footings' for cement and soon-to-be support poles. Also a digger and a Bobcat are hanging out in our backyard, which means the kids are in heaven (one nearly three-year-old in particular). It's been fun to watch the transformation happen and we are pumped that it's finally a real thing: we are doing a big addition on our house! It's going to be wild and we cannot wait.





Overall, I'd say that I'm feeling 'too good' for being 38 weeks pregnant. But I have great energy until about 5pm when I just cash out. Then my patience for the children's shenanigans is at an all time low. We are also just adjusting to their summer schedules and different dynamics now that all three are home, and it's been fine but a little bit brutal. The whining and the arguing and the lack of listening (all past 5pm, mind you) has me near my breaking point many evenings. Nate was gone for bedtime a few times this past week and so Saturday I declared I needed some mommy alone time. I got a manicure and pedicure all alone and it was glorious! I plan to do a pre-natal massage next weekend and really really want to chop off my hair, but I know my stylist will try to talk me out of it right now.

I've been eating ice cream almost every night and fully enjoying it, but otherwise food is pretty meh. Baby loves ice cream, though, and who am I to say 'no'? He's super active after I eat and mostly in the evenings, but I'm also having a lot more BH contractions throughout the day. Nothing painful but definitely noticeable several times every day. I'm thinking one of these evenings the BH will turn into the real deal and we will have a baby with us by morning, but I know it could theoretically happen during the day, too.



My gut tells me I have a few more weeks of being pregnant and could very well be overdue again. I'm not sure why I think that, Nate is totally adamant that I won't go past my due date but we will see. I'm feeling all of the feels though, you guys. Truman is just ecstatic and keeps kissing my belly, saying he cannot wait to meet his baby brother, and is predicting that I will have him early just because he's so impatient to meet this kid. Cecelia is extra sensitive lately, too, saying she loves me and loves the baby, and can't wait to hold him. Porter has been sweet in his own way, speaking to my belly and asking if today is the day he's going to come out.





We are soaking in as much family time as we can! It's such a special time in our lives and I know it's the calm before the storm in a way. I don't feel like I've hit the wall with this pregnancy and can't really let myself think about it being the LAST last time I'll feel a baby kicking inside of me. It's all so surreal and bittersweet, but mostly sweet;)

End of rambling! Longest weekly post ever.

37 weeks | Baby #4

Full term! WOAH!

Dressed up for our date night this past weekend, otherwise you know my hair would not be down/makeup on/black dress worn on a weekend. No way.


I'm going to make this pretty short and sweet, and will likely forget a lot of extremely important information in the process. ;)

OB appointment went well, and I'm dilated 1cm and 50% effaced. So literally exactly where I was with Porter's pregnancy at this time and he was overdue and induced (means nothing). My OB still said, 'You can have this baby tomorrow now, you're full term!' She also noted my varicose veins in my groin and legs and assured me they should go away after the 'tumor' comes out. ;) Baby is head down, HR was 150, he's moving like a mad man and my bladder is barely hanging on these days. The pressure down there is insane and I've had several zingers to the cervix/groin that make my legs feel like they might collapse. Still with Braxton Hicks and I even downloaded a contraction timer app this week, when they were coming every 5 minutes for a solid hour. I stopped timing them because they were not painful and I feel like I'm not actually going to go early this time, and sure enough---they must have stopped because I'm still pregnant.



I'm up 30 pounds but food is not my favorite anymore. I get full so freaking fast, but am craving all fruits and popsicles. I've been drinking a lot of water, La Croix, and even root beer this week to beat the heat and stay hydrated. Plus, I've been taking a daily nap whenever possible and I'm not mad about it. Reading back through old 37 week posts with the other kids makes me chuckle--I was all bent out of shape about NEEDING to nap 'three times per week' and still feeling tired. This time? Give me all of the naps, I do not care about losing productive time. It's the only option many days, even if it's just a 30 minute power nap!

Getting off the couch is becoming rather comical and if I drop something on the floor I prefer to pick it up with my monkey toes if at all possible. I'm not sleeping the best because I just can't seem to get comfortable, definitely have to pee at least once in the middle of the night, and because Porter still likes to wake up and screams for me for fun. I don't know anymore, I just cannot with him.

Non-materity tankini is probably going to be forever ruined but I don't have a lot of options for pool wear. I did wear a regular bikini once but the amount of veins on my very-white belly seemed offensive.


Biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally moved all of the bins and storage items from the attic to the basement, to get ready for the house renovation! This thrills me like nothing else because it's something I've wanted to do for about four months now but I just cannot carry all of the heavy items myself. Don't get me wrong, I've been putting in plenty of hours in the attic, organizing and purging and taking things to Goodwill. I even carried down four giant hanging wardrobes from the attic to the basement before proclaiming, 'THAT'S IT, NO MORE HEAVY LIFTING!' Nate and his dad made approximately 20304 trips up and down alllllllll of the flights of stairs in our house to help with this project, and now I just have a little more organizing to do in our storage area of the basement. YES.

Ugly pictures but must commemorate:
The attic now, basically empty compared to before!


And the unfinished side of the basement now, busting at the seams but still organized. These are all kids' clothing bins. Absurd.


Also, my mom and Memaw bought the baby quite a few new items on Amazon--diapers, sleepers, swaddles, a pacifier. He is SET and it's so much fun to wash and hang all of his stuff in Porter's closet! I even pulled out a bag and started throwing a few things into it as a 'hospital bag', creating a real list for items that need to be in there this week. I faxed the order for a new breast pump to a company and we have the co-sleeper folded up, but ready to go in our bedroom. All of this means one thing: we are having a baby SOON and we are almost ready for him to arrive. GAH!!!!



Supposedly we are breaking ground on the house tomorrow, which is why we did the whole attic to basement purge this weekend. But also, we have a matter of weeks before this child comes no matter what and it's time to really focus on the to-do list, right? I've also decided that when we have a nursery to decorate in about six-ish months, I want to do a black and white and geometric print theme for our cool dude. My mom is requesting a theme so she can make him a quilt, like she's done for the other kids, and it's all going to come together so nicely....when we can actually decorate the new bedroom! I'm nesting in a big way over here and loving every second of it.

Also, we've just been having an awesome summer thus far. Splash pads...


Ice cream dates...




Water balloons...


Sweetness between siblings...


These two dudes went to the US Open and had a freaking ball;)


The pool! .... we love it all!


I kind of cannot believe I have a few weeks left at work. The more I think about it, the more I'm thinking I might just be done after my due date even if I haven't had the baby yet. My due date is a Saturday and I don't know that I'll really want to be at work that Monday morning if he's still cooking away. I'm doing great at work right now and am very thankful for the air conditioning, real bathroom, and comfy desk chair compared to treating patients out in the field. I'm feeling like I'm really hitting my groove with my new job, which is unfortunate since I'll be gone for 12 weeks. We will see if I can jump right back into it when I return, or what! My mom just bought plane tickets to arrive on my due date and leave on Porter's birthday, hoping to catch the birth and meet this little man as soon as he comes out...but of course we know that might not happen. I'm so excited for her to come though and hope the timing works out.

My focus this week has been on visualizing the birth, positive affirmations, and listening to my Hypnobabies tracks without falling asleep. It's so hard to stay awake but I managed to do it a few times. I'm really excited about this birth although it feels very abstract, like it's not actually going to happen in a few more weeks. But it is. I know it will. But it seems impossible.



Favorite comment: "What is this, baby number one? Two? Three?" (Me: 'Keep going'). "OH WOW, number four? You look great for having four kids." What a back handed compliment, right? Like, 'I expected you to look very haggard and tired but you don't look too horrible, I guess.' I mean, I haven't birthed the fourth yet, so my haggard-ness is bound to come. I've had a few people say that I'm finally getting 'big' but most still say 'you are SO SMALL'. I'm really glad my uterus measures right on track at each appointment so that I can be assured other people's opinions on my belly don't mean a whole lot.

Nate and I celebrated our tenth anniversary a few weeks late this year. Tony and Lois took the kids for a sleepover while we went out to dinner, walked around downtown, and woke to a quiet house the next morning. We ate breakfast here, did some organizing, and then went out for coffee. An excellent way to spent our tenth anniversary, even if it wasn't fancy or wild. Plus, Fathers Day weekend with Nate and Tony, and texting my dad was also successful.

TEN YEARS, baby!! My how things have changed and truly, how much happier we are right now compared to our wedding day.


So I'm full term, feeling quite pregnant but happy and content to keep him cooking awhile longer, and I'm in disbelief that I will have this baby in my arms really freaking soon. I'm going to miss pregnancy when it's over, guys. It's just so special to have him all to myself, to marvel at how my body knows how to grow this child, to feel (and watch!) him kicking from the inside, imaging who this little character will be on the outside. The anticipation is still quite magical at this point, and watching all three kids get so excited to meet their brother is something I'll never forget. I know I'm incredibly lucky to feel good at 37 weeks pregnant and I certainly hope that continues until the end!

And with that, I'll head into the week with a clear mind and gratefulness for all that we have in this life. Yes, end of pregnancy emotions are all over the place, it's true.

36 weeks | Baby #4

It's my golden week of pregnancy, when my weekly count matches my age. Hilarious to think that with Truman, week 28 was golden. Oh, how far we have come!

36 weeks, all four times: carrying differently every pregnancy!


Also, surpassed the 'one month' mark this week. Four more weeks seems ridiculously soon, right??

My weekly OB appointments have begun, and yesterday was a good one. I'd been having a lot more Braxton Hicks all day before the appointment, even just sitting in my desk chair, so it was nice to have a check up and NOT go into labor after a strange 'practice contraction' day like that.



I declined an internal exam because it's too early to get my mind set on any progress. Perhaps next week I'll cave? But baby boy measured well, heart rate was 152 and he was actively kicking the doppler the entire time. I lost two pounds somehow (?) which brings me back down to 28 total and my BP remains normal. Hallelujah!



Also, I finally told my OB that I'm listening to the Hypnobabies tracks and she is 110% behind me here. I don't know why I was nervous to tell her that I'm trying to stay mentally prepared, to be focused with positive thoughts, so that I don't completely lose my sh*t during labor. I mean, she's had four kids of her own and three of those were without epidurals---so she's a pretty 'natural' OB and totally gets it. Also, she's delivered 2/3 of my kids so she knows that this certainly cannot hurt to try!

She said, 'I love it, I love that---I wish more of my patients would listen to those tracks!' And I reiterated that I'm not saying I *won't* get an epidural, but I despise that time frame between deciding I need an epidural and waiting for it to arrive/take affect. It's the WORST. If I can ride the waves and eliminate the fear and anxiety that comes with labor, remembering that every contraction brings me closer to holding my baby, I will be able to embrace this final labor and delivery for all that it's worth. In envisioning it happening quickly, peacefully, but it will no doubt be intense;)

Baby boy has dropped if my bladder has anything to say about it. I seriously think I pee nearly every hour now, which is absurd and annoying, but I'm also trying to force down the fluids more than ever with this summer heat wave we're experiencing. When I drink more, and have to pee more, it seems like I have more BH contractions, just because there is so much pressure down there! I can feel him punching my bladder and cervix and definitely feel the 'lightening' sensation that I can breathe easier and have more room up top now. Oh, and did I mention that I have some wicked varicose veins in my legs and groin this time around? Really hoping those go away after birth, some are pretty gnarly but not painful so I won't complain too much.

Still not feeling very hungry lately, but I'm trying to eat a lot of protein along with my massive fluid intake. Also, have discovered the best ice cream known to man: Ben and Jerry's 'The Tonight Dough'. I need you to stop what you are doing right now and seriously consider going to the store if you've never tried it. Nate introduced me to this flavor, as a true ice cream lover, and I have come around to the idea of having several bowls per week. SEVERAL. Because this stuff is mind blowing, for real, and I don't usually love ice cream like my husband does.

It's fun to see how different my belly looks in the morning versus the evening hours. When I wake up he's super high and pointy, just floating around and giving my bladder/cervix lots of space. Then by about 4pm he's a bowling ball between my legs. I can't stop rubbing my belly to feel various appendages jut out at me and he's an acrobat that prefers my belly button for a punching bag. We all love to watch the Belly Show and frequently discuss what type of little person he's going to be. The kids (ahem, Porter) also gave me their cold this week and now I feel like my sinuses are going to pop out of my cheek bones, but I'm definitely better than I was a few days ago. Being sick when very pregnant in the summer is the opposite of fun but I'm glad it wasn't anything too bad. And I'm very thankful for Kleenex but can't wait until I can take Ibuprofen again.

Porter has been randomly asking when the baby will come out, tells me that he loves his little brother, and wants to hold him. He also asked me when the baby will start talking and frequently refers to himself as a baby, but whatever. Cecelia and Truman love to feel my belly jump and are practically giddy when they talk about this baby being born. They both had their last day of school yesterday, so it's feeling even more real when we discuss this baby's birthday happening 'this summer'. It's summer! And it is going to happen pretty freaking soon!!

I will not cry, I will not cry. BUT COME ON.




First day//last day. Bah!

So proud of this guy, who will be in Second Grade in a blink.


And this little lady rocked her first year of school, she's ready for Senior Kindergarten!


As if that's not enough to get me right in the feels, Truman lost his seventh tooth this week. AND I helped the kids in his class put together a sweet 'thank you' book for their teacher, which made her cry when we gave it to her, which made EVERYONE cry.


And this girl and I cannot get enough of popsicles, so there's that.


I finally started working on my list of things to buy for this baby. It's nothing major, but I added a bunch of new sleepers (some with magnetic closures, what??), swaddle sacks, a new Wubbanub pacifier, some diapers, and Aden and Anais blankets to my Amazon cart the other day. ALSO, I felt the urge to treat this fourth baby to a 'real' going home outfit from Etsy. Personalized, freaking adorable baby onesie, leggings, and a hat? YES. Not his name but the real deal will announce it. Hopefully it arrives in time as it can take 3 weeks to ship!



The other thing on my list is to figure out what breast pump to use, then order new parts and bottles and storage bags. I have two pumps right now, one Hygeia from 2010 (!) and one Medela from medical insurance with Porter. Both have seen better days and when looking into ordering new tubing and parts, I realized that I can probably get a brand new pump with my insurance again! So I'm going down that path this time and feeling like it's a major check mark to have a working breast pump and all of the supplies ready to go. Pretty sure I had my pump and all parts ready by 20 weeks in the past, but who is counting?



Another boy will soon be a part of this crew. Sigh.


So, I'm just hot and tired but not nearly as d-o-n-e as I was with Porter. Even with Cecelia, I was timing some concerning contractions at 36 weeks and was worried about her making an early appearance. I was navigating the waters of high blood pressure and intermittent bed rest with Truman, and I had no idea he would be in our arms just two weeks later.

All things considered, I'm hitting my golden week feeling grateful and really pretty good! I hope it continues and plan to enjoy this part of summer when baby is still on the inside;)