Twin Cities Marathon 2022 (Third Time's a Charm)

I love reading back on these posts, and know about 2 other people that will enjoy all of the nitty gritty details of my third marathon experience. Avert your eyes if you don't care at all (the masses agree)!

After Chicago 2021, my second marathon ever and the first since having kids, I didn't really know what to do next. I was real tired and pretty defeated by the Chicago race. I really wanted to beat my pre-kid marathon time in Chicago and I really did not do that. 

I ran a half marathon in May 2022 to test the waters a little bit. It went well, I came close to a PR for my 11th half, but I still couldn't quite pull the trigger on tackling another full marathon. But I also couldn't quiet the voice in the back of my head telling me I had unfinished business with 26.2. This annoying voice got louder and louder in my now 41-year-old mind. And because I know myself, I knew that if I signed up for another full I'd want to go ALL IN, which requires a mega-time commitment from myself and my family. Sigh.

I talked to Nate over our anniversary trip to Napa Valley, and told him I really wanted to run the Lakefront Marathon for a bit of redemption from Chicago. I knew I could get a better time and I *still* wanted to beat my 2008 Lakefront time. Younger, carefree Julia was becoming this evil character for me to compete with---I wanted so badly to prove I'm a better runner now, faster, more efficient. I also wanted to hire a running coach for the first time ever, because I wanted a customized training plan for my very specific goals. We talked it over for a few days and he gave me his blessing, saying that 'at least one of us should hit our goals'. His hip has been acting a fool for about a year now and it's a real bummer. 

In early June, signed up for the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee, set to happen 10/2/22. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, miss as little soccer that weekend as possible, and have my kids and friends/family THERE at the race. Plus, Lakefront was where I ran my first marathon back in 2008 so I could just taste the redemption. I knew the course had to change this year because of construction, so it was no longer straight downhill the entire time. Darn!

I used a training plan from the internet starting June 6th, and by June 27th I had hired Tristen at HAT House to be my running coach. This is when things got real for me. I trained for a total of 17 weeks, 13 with Tristen, which boasted a total of 567 miles all together. I ran 5-6 days every single week. My longest run was a 20 mile run, which I did twice, both of which had a 'fun' 10 miler tacked on the day before or after. I did speed work at the track which involved running 800s at a 7:00-7:20 pace....something I never thought possible, but I did it and shockingly loved it. I ran hills and didn't totally hate them. I ran mostly alone but sometimes with friends, but the relaxed social time I was accustomed to getting 2-3 times per week morphed into more intense, fast solitude. 

I trained my butt off, made sleep a priority over several social events, woke up at 5:00 or earlier to get my runs finished before starting the day with the kids. It was a lot. But it was awesome and it definitely gave me a boost of confidence to know I could hold FAST paces when I needed to, and I ran my fastest half marathon ever during training with a 1:52 time (8:26 min pace). I felt amazing after that 13.1 and knew my training was working.

I tell you all of this to say that I was ready. My training was successful, I didn't get injured even though my peak mileage was 47 miles in a week and I typically run about 15-20. Completing a training cycle like this was absolutely worth celebrating, regardless of what happened on race day! 

But it also put my head in a place where I was (really) amped up to see what I could do on 10/2/22. I had four time goals: 

1. Beat Chicago 2021's 4:40, 

2. Beat Lakefront 2008's 4:19, 

3. Beat Nate's Chicago 2009's 4:15, and 

4. Get sub-four hours. 

I told myself I'd be happy with any of those check marks and tried not to get TOO focused on my time goals, but oh it's so hard as a runner to be a free spirit and to 'have fun' and 'be chill' as they say. Or maybe it's just hard for me because I always seems to put pressure on myself to achieve goals, and may be a little tough on myself at times. :) 

Regardless! The Lakefront Marathon was cancelled just three weeks before race day, which was a small crisis averted only because Nate and I decided traveling to the Twin Cities Marathon on the same day would be totally doable. We pivoted and decided to make it a semi-family event, pulling Truman and Cece from school and sports and Nate took off work so we could make the 5 hour drive to Minnesota. I am not a flexible person (shocker) but once I wrapped my head around the location change, I was all in for the experience. 

The week before the race, I got a bit of the kids' cold and tried to sleep as much as possible and lay very low during my taper. I focused on mentally prepping for the race while still running almost daily but less mileage, blowing snot rockets and feeling like a garbage can for a few days. Then I talked to Tristen on the phone about race day. I was kind of freaking out as you can imagine, but this pep talk got me all fired up.

She wanted me to break the marathon into three chunks of time: miles 0-14, miles 15-19, and then finally miles 20-26. She wanted me to shoot for a pace of 8:35-8:43 min/miles depending on how I was feeling and depending on the millions of other variables that go into race day. She said to avoid getting TOO SET on my pace, to be flexible and willing to roll with whatever came my way (ahem, SO HARD). Tristen told me I'm so much stronger now, a faster runner, and that I am 100% capable of running these paces as proven in my very consistent training. She cautioned me to stay away from falling back into old routines of running 9 minute miles because I'm capable of more now. I decided to trust my training, trust Tristen, and trust my own body in this race. I knew I'd leave it all on the course and give it my best. AND I REALLY WANTED TO MEET ALL OF MY TIME GOALS.

The four of us made it to Minneapolis the Friday night before the race. We stayed in a hotel downtown 1 mile away from the start line, hit the expo, ate lunch with friends, and welcomed my sister-in-law Brittany from Oregon. We ate a big Italian dinner out that night and I was feeling pretty wiped out/tired/nervous afterwards. All day long I felt like my chest was crampy/tight/spasming and didn't know if it was my lingering cold or plain old anxiety. I went to bed around 9:30 and woke up at 1:00 and then at 3:30 am I was up for good, unable to fall back asleep. I know this is normal before a race but I also think I require more zzz's at my old age than ever before, and my energy was already pretty zapped.

I got out of bed around 5:30 and started getting ready in the tiny bathroom with the door shut to avoid waking the children. Nate got up with me, and after my coffee and choking down my breakfast of cold/untoasted English muffin with PB, I said I was ready. We let the kids sleep, although Cece did wake and give me a hug goodbye, and walked to the start line together. It was dark and pretty chilly at about 50 degrees, and there was hardly anyone else walking down (very much the opposite of Chicago's start line experience). I hit the porta potty, we found Katelyn and talked with her a bit, and then I hugged Nate goodbye as he went back to the hotel to get the kids moving. 

One more portapotty stop with Katelyn and her friend, who are both at least 10 years younger than me and shooting for 3:30s as their finishing times (!!!!), and it was time to line up in my corral. I was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt that I could toss in the donation bin at the start line, but noticed I was shivering/shaking and my jaw was chattering as I waited for my 8:06am gun time. I tried to relax and calm down because I was super excited and just wanted to RUN already. But I realize that killed a lot of my energy along with sleeping like dog crap the night before this race. I took a gel at the start line beacause it had been awhile since I ate breakfast, and sipped on the disposable water bottle I wanted to use for the first few miles to avoid the water station bottle necks.

No time to overthink when I cross the start line, because I was getting the show on the freaking road! The first two miles went quick but I also had to keep finding 5 sights, 4 sounds, 3 feels, 2 smells, 1 taste to keep my mind focused. I did find my 8:40 pace pretty quickly. I was right by the 3:55 pace group from the start and felt really strong and consistently hit 8:36-8:43 for the first six miles. I took my second gel at mile 3.5 and continued to focus on being present and really looking around at every spectator, sign**, and beautiful fall tree.

At mile 7, I remember celebrating the halfway point of my first "chunk" of this race. AND I saw my family with signs and happy smiles, which energized me greatly. I took gel number three and continued to sip my water. Oh, how I wish we had pictures or a video* of me here because it might have been the best I looked all race day! Here's the race photo I did purchase because I love it, and it's probably from around miles 5-9. 

At mile 8, I started saying, "8 and feeling great." Over and over again, in my head, and reminded myself to stay in this mile and think of nothing ahead of me. Let the mental workout begin.

 
At mile 9, I repeated, "9 and feeling fine." For these two miles my watch was beeping that I was behind, because I crept up to an 8:50 pace. I tried not to worry too much about it and noticed an awesome drum line under bridge here. 

"Mile 10, and gonna win". I don't know what that means but it rhymed. I took my pace back to a 8:33, which pushed it a little, and in hindsight this was probably WAY TOO FAST. I think the 3:55 pace group was right behind here, and heard them chatting about pace and felt annoyed because they were supposed to be doing 9:00-and I felt like I was going WAY faster. 

Also, looking back my heart rate was INSANELY HIGH (for me) at this point. It registered as 177 bpm at mile 10 and I usually never get above 145 bpm even with my longest, hottest runs or with speed work. I know this is very weird, to have such a low HR during training runs but it's my norm---so having a rate that's over 20 bpm higher is real stressful for my body (I think!). Here's where I say my heart rate was high from the beginning of this run, even at rest BEFORE the run, and remained too high throughout. More overanalysis on this later.

At 11, Nate had planned to see me again but he texted a few minutes after I passed the mile marker saying they just missed me. I know my water bottle was empty and I was concocting an elaborate plan to have Nate refill it and hand it to me again at 14, but when they weren't there I think I stopped at my first water stop because I needed to take gel number four. I walked super quick through and sloshed it all back, replying to Nate I'd see them at 14 instead.

Mile 13: I saw my family unexpectedly at a turn and felt SO happy about that, and also being at the halfway point. Possibly around now a spectator said “all of you are finishing under 4 hours, you got that?” And I believed it. I briefly dreamed of how it would feel to be finished with a half marathon right now but also felt strong, and knew the 3:55 pacers were still behind me. 

With mile 14 came Erin's crew, and they were so pumped to see me! I loved that because they totally didn't understand WHY anyone would run a marathon and I think they sort of get it now:) I told myself I’d start my music after seeing them, so I did, and popped in both AirPods but kept them pretty quiet. I remembered to celebrate my first chunk of the race being done. Whoo hoo! I hit a 9:00 min/mile average here and started to feel tired, but I was super happy that my quads were okay. In Chicago, they started shutting down at mile 14 for some reason and I've pondered that issue ever since. I had my tiny water bottle handed to me from a random spectator, which I may have grabbed around 13 and kept til maybe 15 but it's a little blurry. 

Next came the second chunk of this race, miles 15-19. And as per Tristen, I really needed to focus on these because they were the most important miles. I took my fifth gel at 15, and told myself only 2 more god awful gels! I probably drank from the water stop, too, because I had the tiny water bottle but was feeling so thirsty. I noticed my diaphragm was cranky like I couldn’t take a deep breath, or felt water logged. With my music in my ears, I lost focus on the spectators/other runners/my pace and form a bit here. I knew I wouldn’t see my family during this chunk and needed to prepare for my hills, but looking back I probably should have skipped the music as a distraction. 

From miles 11-16 I hovered right around a 9 min mile. Watch kept beeping at me but with music on I could block it out, (don't nag me about my pace, GARMIN). I knew I was slightly slowing down but also felt secure in keeping right under a 4 hour pace. 

At mile 17, I officially started feeling like a slug. My friend Ali called and I figured out how to answer it with my air pods. I was struggling, and couldn't even lie to her when she asked if I felt awesome (no). There were hills now and my legs didn’t want to go up them. I remember my watch said 9:30 pace which isn't horrible but I knew I was slipping. I indulged in my first water stop where I walked more than 3 steps and tried to regroup. The 3:55 pacers hadn't passed me yet. I wasn't panicking just yet.

Then mile 18 happened: a 10 min mile. I tried so hard to push harder, thinking, "Well, this is a classic wall point." I told myself I would NOT run a 10 min mile, knowing Tristan said even a 9:00 isn’t my full potential anymore. I just literally could not get my legs to go. I started bargaining with myself to not care as much and just keep moving. I wanted to walk, as my brain told me I’d feel instant relief. But I didn’t walk because I knew it would feel impossible to start back up again (the lesson learned in Chicago). I did feel myself getting passed a ton though, and I didn't even notice when the 3:55 pace group pulled away. Notable: there was a big screen of fans sending videos to runners, which was super cute. I think I had one AirPod in here and started hearing a few random text messages from friends come in. I knew so many people were tracking me and thinking of me and I didn't want to let them down, but by God I was tired. Why are marathons so hard?

At mile 19, I took in water and my sixth gel. I had to choke it down, and my stomach was feeling super gross. I definitely walked a few extra steps to recollect myself, then tried to find a few people in front of me and pretend to pull them in with a rope. Somewhere around here saw another Strider with Team Rehab shirt and let that feel like a good sign. I knew this was the final leg of my second chunk and I'd be crossing the Mississippi River next, ready to enter the last phase. 

Mile 20 was the start of my final leg and the start of the hills. Tristen had prepared me for the hills and they didn't scare me, and honestly they didn't affect my pace all that much. I was still hovering around a 10 minute mile and then I (finally) saw my family. I wanted to show them a big thumbs down and cry a little, but instead I just blew a big raspberry with my lips, and gave them high fives with a half of a grin. I was so tired but didn’t want the kids to be worried. 

Nate jumped in and jogged with me thankfully. He asked how I felt and I said not good, tired, wanted to walk, thirsty but might puke. He said I was doing great and the 4:00 pacers were in sight. I looked up and did see their little sign about 5 people in front of me. He said 'just a little faster and you'll still get under 4.' I found that hard to believe but it was slightly exciting. He said my estimated finish was at 12:04pm and I started at 8:06. "Ok I can do this, I want to get up there so badly but I'm also giving it my best right now and can't dig any deeper." He said I just needed to get over the hills then push and I'd be there. "I’ll see you at the finish. I love you," and he went back to the kids. I wish he could have run with me the rest of the way to pump me up but it wasn't in the cards this time! 

Miles 21-23 were (as promised) one big long gradual hill. They weren’t killer because I was already in the pain cave and I did expect them. I think I stopped for water both at 21 and 23. Saw a woman really struggling and crying and being very negative. I didn’t have it in me to pump her up. I was solely focused on moving forward and not walking. I saw many many people walking. I saw a mom stop running to get a group family pic and she looked so happy, which made me smile and feel slightly envious that she was enjoying this race while I was hating it. People were calling me out by name and I would muster up a thumbs up in return, but no eye contact because TIRED.

I remember at 20, 21, and 22 staying IN that mile, flashing my fingers at my side to remind myself where I was. (2, 1, 2, 1, 2....2, 2, 2, 2, 2). I would say goodbye to each past mile by slightly waving my hand at the ground, like BYE MILE 21, NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. These hills did completely kill my pace though, as I registered 10:39-11:08 here. I'm a broken record at this point, but I definitely wanted to pick up the pace but my legs said otherwise. I will never stop overanalyzing why this happened. :)

At mile 23, I told myself 'just 3 miles. Let’s go.' Some down hills now appeared and I knew the uphill was done. I was getting tons of texts here that I loved hearing. I decided that I may be slowing down like CRAZY but I will not walk! Did stop for my final water stop at 23 but didn’t take the final gel here. Felt thirsty but water logged. I took a small sip and dumped the rest down my back as I was getting pretty hot. I also felt like I was passing a lot of people who were walking, and I would not allow myself to walk no matter how slowly I was running. Forward is a pace and all of that. 

Okay, let's go! Mile 24-saw Erin's family again!! And I told myself this was my old basketball number, I must have done hard things in high school and pulled through so I could do it again now. Pulled out both AirPods here right before seeing Erin cause I noticed the crowds were awesome and many cheer sections. Possibly some good music too, I think I remember half-dancing to Ed Sheeran.

Mile 25--I dug out my phone and took pic of the mile marker flag. It was so beautiful. I knew I could do one freaking mile. I wasn’t looking at pace at all (it was a 10:30), and just told myself to keep moving. Saw the Capitol and whimpered got a pic. I think I was grunting and mumbling here. I was almost finished.

My family was on my right side by the finish, just as Nate had texted me. I was looking for them and staring at the finish line at the same time. It was all downhill at the end, and I tried to push it but also didn’t want to fall on my face because my quads were now toast. I think I said, 'Aw man!' when I saw the clock time of 4:14, because until this point I didn't do any math in my head to know what my finish time would be. I also didn't feel *that* bummed because I WAS ALMOST FINISHED! PRAISE BE. 

I saw my family cheering for me, remembered to raise my arms up, and felt the sweet relief of stopping when I crossed the finish line. Official time? 4:07:38.

I saw my friend Ali to my left as she works the entire finish line, she asked how it was and I didn’t know how to respond, kinda stunned. Legs felt like actual jello and I wasn't walking in a straight line, which felt a little concerning. A guy said to keep walking, don't stop. I got my precious medal, Ali said to walk slowly and she’d get my people from their VIP spots she had secured. I grabbed a fruit cup and took a selfie, then chugged some water. I kept walking and went all the way out but should have waited cause the fam was inside the gauntlet too, but I didn't really know what was happening at this point. I found a curb by the big screen, Nate called me, I sat and removed my shoes (SWEET RELIEF). 

My family appeared and I got my hugs, a picture with them, and we chatted with Katelyn (who finished in 3:32 like a boss). We couldn't find Brittany, my amazing sister-in-law, who had watched the finish line from the other side. Nate called her and he was going to have her meet us inside the family meeting area, but I quickly decided we just needed to meet her at our car and get the heck out of the sun. 

I started to return 78 text messages from friends and family because I have a helluva support system that I don't take for granted. I texted Tristen, my coach, and felt nervous she might be disappointed in me for slipping away from my ultimate goal of a sub-4 hour race. Turns out coaches don't get upset with you for giving it your all, and she was super proud of me (just like everyone else). 

Well, they are all *proud* of me but Truman did admit that he's a little disappointed I didn't get under 4 hours. He's our first born rule follower who likes to follow a plan (Ahem, like his mama) so he doesn't quite understand why I didn't 'just run fast every mile.' He wanted it badly for me, and now that I've had a few days to decompress, I'm also feeling a little disappointed.

I know that smashing three out of four time goals is amazing. A 12 minute PR over my pre-kid self is truly everything I wanted out of a marathon....except that I wanted a little more. A 33 minute improvement over my Chicago marathon last year is also pretty impressive. But I feel like sub-four is also very attainable for me. I had perfect weather, amazing training, no injuries, did great with hydration and nutrition, tapered well, carb loaded, and my stomach was rock solid during race day. ALL SO GREAT. But still...

Other runners understand the mixed bag of emotions after a marathon. Non-runners absolutely do NOT get why I'd be even slightly bummed right now, so I'm not complaining to anyone (besides Nate) unless they specifically ask how I'm doing and I can tell they really mean it. I think I need more time to process and figure out why I couldn't hold my race pace. Maybe I needed a few miles to warm up? Maybe I just went out too fast and should have tried for more of a negative split despite the looming hills? Maybe my heart rate was high because I was more anxious than I thought I was? Maybe I was dehydrated even though I felt like I was good? My heart rate average was 157 for this race (usually 130s/140), and even my resting heart rate before the race was up near 75-80 and it's usually 60. 

Maybe I just cannot run less than a 9 minute mile average for a marathon. Maybe I should stick to halves and get faster and faster with 13.1. Maybe I was just overreaching with my goals I set for myself and I should cut myself some slack for once. Maybe 4:07 is good enough.

One thing I know for certain is that I'm taking time to rest, recover, and NOT run. I'm about to lose 1-2 toenails, my foot is killing me in a 'stabbing, something is NOT right' way, and I have absolutely zero desire to run right now. I am LOVING sleeping in until 6:40 and not working out at all, but it's only day 4 after the marathon so who knows how long this vibe will last. 

I might sign up for another marathon next year (cringe, breath hold, cringe). I don't do well when I can't check a box that is important to me. The question is, how important is it for me to run a sub-four hour marathon? The jury is still out on that one, my friends. 

--------------

*many more pictures found in Instagram, I don't feel like adding the same ones here!

** My Favorite Signs: 

"Why?” With a dog picture
Giant heads of people. One giant dog like 10 feet tall
You run better than our government 
You are really good at exercising
Where’s everyone going?
If it were easy, I’d be doing it
Run like your mom used your full name
Vikings score is…
Run like you got the last beer from Wisconsin 
Power up, punch here 
Believe 
Giant Dino guy 
I’ll run with you tomorrow at 6am, meet here!
Tomorrow is a rest day
 

My Chicago Marathon 2021

In 2008, I was 27 years old and a newlywed, when I ran my first full marathon. Then I ran 9 halves, had 4 kids, and decided I wanted to do the impossible: run another full marathon, post-kids at age 40. I know, I'm a little bit crazy, as most runners are:) I trained with my friend Katie the summer of 2020 until I injured my calf and then the marathon was cancelled anyway that year due to Covid. On the scheduled race day of October 11, 2020, I was actually in bed with Covid. Sick, exhausted, and finishing rehab on my calf. It was not a fun time. 

Enter summer of 2021, when the Chicago Marathon was set to be ON, even though Covid is still not off. It would be the first time in 2 years that road races (not the virtual kind!) would happen. Chicago is a 'major', it boasts 35,000 runners and an incredible spectator turn out of at least 1 million people. So we trained beginning in June, through a hot/humid summer, in the dark, waking at 4:30am and running long runs at 6:00am on weekends. We'd run another 2-3 times during the week and I'd strength train 2 days per week, plus another day or two of cross training (Peloton!). There were Covid scares and quarantines, Nate had knee surgery the week before my race, I had started a small business, and so many other life distractions during those months of training. 

The time commitment to running a full marathon is what gave me pause, waiting 13 years in between my last. But Nate and I agreed to make this a priority in our family for this summer, knowing he'd have to pick up the slack in parenting most weekend mornings while I was out running for 3+ hours. I'd miss soccer games and social events. But team work makes the dream work, right? 

I had one really big goal for these 18 weeks of training: avoid injury. At 40 years old I know I cannot run 70 miles per week, nor do I want to. I'm proud to say I achieved this goal during our training cycle, which was no small feat in itself!

I had four goals for the race itself, in order of importance: have fun, finish, beat my previous time of 4:19 (or even Nate's previous time of 4:15), and don't poop myself. I totally smashed 3 out of 4 of those goals as you'll read soon. 

So how about I recap the marathon itself now, as it's taken a full day for me to compose my thoughts? 

Katie and I met at the starting line at 6:30, but our wave wasn't set to take off until an ungodly late 8:00 am. We were nervous as we kissed our husbands goodbye, but so READY to get the show on the road finally. We hit the porta potties, sat on the concrete and chatted, and then Katie waited for one more porta line before our corrals closed at 7:45. I was in awe watching all of the thousands and thousands of runners fill in the gaps in our corral. These are my people, a diverse crowd of runners with a common thread of focused determination to run 26.2. Old and young, big and small, but everyone tied together by grit and maybe a touch of stubbornness. The energy was pure electricity that morning, and we chatted with a few runners around us to get pumped up. Notable was the couple behind us, who had been friends since high school. It was her 9th marathon and his 3rd, and they were so positive and upbeat about the race ahead. 

When our wave FINALLY started to move, I knew it was game time and snapped a picture of the start line. No more anticipation, it was actually happening! 

I was prepared to go super slow in the beginning, because of the crowds of runners and because a classic rookie move is going out way too fast in the start. We did manages to stay under a 10 min/mile pace, for the first five miles which was perfect.  In those first four miles, I saw two sets of our friends from back home on the sidelines, each and every time we saw familiar faces it felt like a biggest surge of energy. We first found our husbands and Katie's kids and parents at mile 4 and I felt SO stinking excited to see our crew! 

Another remarkable memory is when we ran past an older couple, with signs on their backs that read 'this is my 100th marathon' (!!!!). I yelled over to them that they were incredible. I asked where their first marathon was, and they said 'Chicago!'. They said it was in 1980 or 1981, and I told them this was Katie's first marathon:) They were adorable and pumped us up, saying we needed to enjoy this race because it's just the best. I asked if this was the hottest marathon they've done and they said, 'Well we are from Arizona, so no.' They said the coldest was in Fargo, we thanked them for being amazing, and we were off. One hundred marathons, you guys. 

I took 1/2 of a gel at 5.5 miles, and then by mile 8.5 Katie waved me on while she made a bathroom break. I had hoped to run the first 10 with her, but I also had high hopes of my time goal and for her first marathon, she just wanted to finish (spoiler alert, she totally did it!). So I gave her a quick hug and a pep talk and went ahead. I wanted to push faster but still felt like maybe I should keep my speed in check until the first half was completed, not wanting to tank later.

At mile 11 I took a full gel, and realized my stomach was feeling mighty fine! I saw more friends on the sideline somewhere around here and got another surge of energy, right before rounding the corner near 13 and seeing a man down. 

He was on the left side of the road, someone was lifting his legs overhead (to get the blood back to his head, I guess) and another person was rubbing his chest because he wasn't responding. Immediately I started to spiral mentally. I saw an RN and then an MD with an AED walking towards the scene, and another runner said 'You need to get back there fast!' It really shook me up more than it should have, but I just kept wondering what the hell we were doing out there. That was someone's husband and I felt teary just thinking about him when I heard sirens starting from afar. I still have no idea what happened to him but I'm hopeful he was 'just' passed out from exhaustion and dehydration. 

Crossing the 13 mile marker, I remember telling myself to pull it together. I think I first popped in one AirPod to listen to music and vowed to myself that I'd listen to my body even MORE than before and I honestly didn't even look at my pace again until mile 20. This is also when it registered that my quads were on FIRE. I knew this was really really early in the run to have burning quads but had to push along. My legs never felt this bad on any of our long runs but I tried not to think too much about it while jamming to my marathon playlist. 

Here is where I should mention the Event Alert Status system for marathons. 

The week before the marathon, we started getting emails about how the event had moved into the Yellow/Moderate zone because of the heat and humidity. Slow down! Hydrate! Find extra water stations/ice bags/wet sponges on the course. They were less than ideal conditions for sure, and although temps in the 70s aren't usually that oppressive in October, they certainly feel horrible when running for multiple hours. Later in the race I noticed that they had moved us into the Red category. This was the forecast from the marathon app, check that humidity. Barf.

Anyway, I saw Nate and Katie's husband at mile 14 and instead of just pumping my fist 'hello', I wanted a hug from Nate. So I ran over and snagged a sweaty hug and told him my quads were on fire, and that I saw a guy down back there. He assured me I was doing great and he'd see me soon, so I was off on my way towards 15. 

Boys town was up next and I yanked out my AirPods to fully experience the joy here. I freaking LOVED this neighborhood with the drag queens dancing up on platforms, along either side of the race. The signs there were hilarious and the happiness was just contagious. 

I was running along side of the 4:20 pacers for awhile there. It got us a lot of cheers 'FOOOOOOUR TWENTY, BABYYYYY!' and I was thinking that I still really wanted to be ahead of this pace group. But my quads were failing me big time at this point and I was nervous they'd lock up all together. I was taking in a ton of water along the way, carrying my own water bottle at first and then I started using the water stops by mile 15. I'd take a small sip and then dump the rest on my head and down my back to cool off. The wet sponges were pretty cool too, and I did grab handfuls of ice to put under my hat and down my sports bra. 

Mile 16 seemed impossibly slow and so far from the finish line. Looking back at my pace, this is when I struggled to stay quicker than an 11 min/mile average.  I kept repeating 'sweet sixteen' in my head and tried listening to music, pulling out my air pods when I'd come across 'real' music in a neighborhood. I wanted to pull energy from the crowd and talk to other runners around me but I also felt so depleted that I just couldn't. I had to go internal for a bit and work things out alone, in my mind. 

At mile 17 I took another 1/2 of a gel and started making myself walk through each water station, just a little longer each time. I also stopped to the side and stretched my quads for the first of about 3 times at this point. It hurt so badly to stretch but I was still scared they'd lock up if I didn't. I saw another person down, stretcher on the way and had to avert my eyes to stay focused. 

Some of the signs along the route were seriously epic. A few of my favorites that stuck with me: "Smile if you peed a little", "Your legs hurt because you're a badass", "Toenails are for losers," "You obviously got Moderna", "Remember that you paid for this", "You're almost done #fakenews" at mile 2. There was a guy dressed up as a vintage coach with a clipboard that made me LOL, actual nuns, a runner dressed as the pope, spectators in blow up panda costumes (that gave me an aggressive high five), and a ton of signs that had the mushroom from Mario Brothers on it that said 'touch for power'. I tried to slap every single one of those along the way! 

I saw Nate on the left side of the race at mile 18, so I hobbled over to him for a quick chat. He said he was going to meet me near the finish line and my heart sank a little because I wanted to see him again before that. It seemed so far away. He asked how I felt and I said 'not great, can we PLEASE get an Uber after this to get back to the hotel?' and he agreed. I kissed him and hobbled off, and he texted me a few minutes later to say 'You are crushing it'. I think he knew I needed more pep talks and it totally worked. I had my phone in my pocket and when I had an AirPod, I could sort of hear when a text came through. I was getting so many texts all morning and couldn't read them all but did glance down a few times. So many of my crew were tracking me on the marathon app and apparently it was working well all morning. Saw Truman say 'Good job mom' once and felt teary. Oh, the emotions at mile 18. 

Every time I stopped for water, it felt harder and harder to get started again. I had to talk to myself and dig deep. And somehow it was mile 19! I took a picture because I remember thinking 'this is the most beautiful site I've seen and I want to remember it.' I also took one at mile 20, plus a selfie, and saw a sign that said '6.2 to go' which got me seriously amped up. We did a 20 mile run for the longest training run, and I told myself this was officially the longest I'd run....in 13 years. :)

At mile 20, I also looked at my watch and saw I'd been running for 3 hours 45 min. My initial goal of beating 4:15 was very obviously out of the window, but I let myself dream of being done in just 30 minutes away. Instead, I thought about finishing in 4:30 which I knew would also mean a big push. I tried to go a little faster here and my legs would.not.do.it. I took my last 1/2 gel at mile 21 and threw the packet away aggressively, the taste in my mouth was so disgusting! I had also been using my own LMNT electrolyte drink in my holsters which really tasted like hell, but I knew I needed electrolytes and didn't want to deal with the Gatorade on the course.

Everything gets a little blurry after this, but I ran through Chinatown and didn't even see the big paper dragons---the one thing Nate prepped me to enjoy. I snapped another pic of mile 22 and saw my college friend again with signs just for me. I wanted to take a picture of her and my sign but I just couldn't muster up the energy, but it did give me a little more pep in my step! I refused to quit on myself and my stubborn tendencies were shining at that moment. I remember checking my heart rate, which strangely never really gets above 145 bpm even with super hard workouts. It was right at 146 which reassured me, because it definitely felt a little fluttery/weird for a hot minute.

Mile 23: 'Just 3 more miles. A simple 3 mile loop at home. Just 3 more miles. I can do this'. I must have allowed myself to walk even longer at this mile marker though, based on my slowest pace of the entire race. I saw Katie's sister waiting for her to jump in and run, and I gave her a huge high five. I told myself I would never, ever do another full again. I'll stick to halves, and try to get faster. Or maybe I'll never run again, or just take a month off....I don't know, but I was bargaining with myself that I never have to run again if I don't want to. I repeated 'beast mode' as a mantra along with 'we can do hard things' and anything else that I could pull from the depths of my soul to KEEP GOING. I wanted to walk forever and ever but I also just wanted to be finished as soon as possible.

Mile 24: 'Just two more freaking miles. 20 minutes. I CAN DO THIS!!!!" I remember stopping to stretch, walk for about 20 seconds, and then almost started to cry when I got started again because my quads hurt so badly. They were just wobbly, like they might give out on me but I knew I couldn't let that happen. I tried to tell myself that this was nothing compared to childbirth, especially to Wallace's med-free birth when I was stuck at 7cm for 2 hours. It honestly didn't help my mental state that much to think, 'I didn't die then and I'm not going to die now!' :) I told myself that pain is just temporary and I'm equipped to handle the pain. But I also wondered how long it would take me to recover from this race.  

I hit mile 25 and got a text from Nate saying he was up on my right side. I was very aware of how tired I looked and like my gait was totally sloppy, out of control. I pulled my AirPods out for the final time and tried to just be present. I counted my steps like, '1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3' and just tried to get one foot in front of the other. I saw Nate at 25.5 and tried super hard to muster up a smile for him. Which reminds me: every time I saw a pro photographer I decided to fake it until I made it, with goofy smiles and poses that I hope will translate into pure insanity. 

I looked up and saw the infamous hill around mile 26. I told myself that I could NOT walk it, no matter how slowly I jogged, and I didn't walk. I kept going. Even when I saw a woman sitting down, passing out, and someone was grabbing her by the shoulders. I kept going, wanting to see the finish line so badly.

I turned my head to the left and saw the most glorious site of my entire life (at that moment). The finish line!!! I snapped a blurry pic and went for it, my legs and feet basically numb at this point. I choked back an exhausted tear and remembered to smile for all of the cameras. They were announcing our names as we crossed the finish line, and if they did say mine they totally botched my last name but I didn't even care. I did it. I finished in 4:40 which is not at all what I hoped, but I can promise you in that moment time didn't matter. 

Crossing the finish line after a race that brutal, that humid, that intense was truly magical. Euphoric, even. The relief was immediate and I gladly accepted a water bottle as the herds of champions walked through the gauntlet. I heard the medals clinking and someone handed me mine. It was beautiful. I high fived a dude next to me, and we kept walking down to collect protein shakes and bananas and whatever else we could hold. I got a reflective blanket and a wet towel for my neck and called Nate to see where to meet him. 

Notable: not one time did I have to stop for a porta potty! Yes, I peed my pants but no poop issues, praise be! And if my Strava is accurate, which it doesn't appear to be, I only walked about 4 minutes total for the whole race. Total steps that day: 54,411 and 31.16 miles trekked. DANG.

It was a bit of a bottle neck getting out of the finish line area and I ended up sitting on a curb, removing my socks and shoes, and telling Nate to come and find me on the corner of Jackson and Columbus. I sat starting at my poor blistered feet, sipping a disgusting banana protein shake, and returning a few texts to friends. I felt so much support from my girl gang, my family, my friends, and even YOU, dear internet. So many people were pulling for Katie and I all morning, and we are pretty lucky to have such an awesome support system! Then Nate called to say he couldn't get in to me, and I needed to walk out to Michigan ave. I said I would try but I would be barefoot because NOPE to putting on my shoes again. 

I had a stranger snap a picture of me as I walked past tall buildings (barefoot, ha), and then I found my guy. He gave me my slides and held my stinky shoes and gave me a big hug. I had another stranger snap our picture and then Nate told me he had bad news: no Ubers available for at least 30 minutes, so we had to walk the mile to our hotel. I fought back a tear and just said 'ok but I'm going painfully slow'. 

We made it back, I showered and discovered about 5 places of intense chafing, and collapsed into the bed. I tried to nap a little bit since I had slept awful the night before and had just run for 4.5 hours:) I honestly haven't been sleeping great since the night before the marathon, but I know my body needs the rest. We stayed the night in our hotel Sunday night, and left Monday around 11 to come home.  I missed the kids dearly but also feel some serious post-race blues. I'm exhausted beyond words and so incredibly sore. But I'm happy and proud of myself for not giving up. 

I know that runners are more than their times. Missing a time goal is really small potatoes in the grand scheme of things and yet, it feels pretty lousy after the fact. I definitely gave it my best that day and for all of my training. But I don't feel like my time accurately reflects my training, my fitness, or my abilities. For reference, my typical half marathon time is 1:52-2:00. I really wanted 4:14 or less on Sunday, and I'm not totally sure what went wrong (besides humid conditions, and crazy-angry quads). While 4:40 isn't 'bad', it's just not even close to what I had hoped to get. Fellow runners will understand this, right?

*If* I do another full marathon again, I'd do just a few things differently: I'd remember to make a sign with my name on my chest, so strangers could cheer for me. I'd line up friends to run with me in segments to keep me going. And I'd really love to see my kids as spectators! Chicago's crowds just did not allow for that this time, and Nate had planned to run with me but then he needed knee surgery so that was out. I'd train about the same, I think----maybe focusing on more speedwork, but I'm also really glad I didn't push so hard that I got injured. 

Before the marathon, when Nate and I were eating a big Italian dinner, he asked me if I was planning to run another marathon after this. I said, 'It depends on how I do tomorrow. If it's a great race and I'm pleased with my time, then I'll be done. If not, I'll probably have to do another'. The night of the marathon, he said, 'Well, so are you going to do another?' I want to say YES. It's just too soon to tell. Once I can walk without a limp I'll let you know. I still feel pretty chewed up and spit out by Chicago, and need to plot my revenge once fully recovered. 

I know that nothing in life is a guarantee and I feel serious gratitude for being able to complete this Chicago Marathon. I did it. What a whirlwind, a magical, horrible, wonderful whirlwind. 

Half Marathon Number Eight | Brewers Mini Marathon

Yesterday I completed my eighth half-marathon, and earned myself a PR on a course that was hilly, and wet from rain. Today I am sore and am controlled-falling down stairs, but I'm reflective on this accomplishment and want to blog the beast of thoughts in my head.

I haven't run in two half marathons in a single year since before kids, but coming off the last race in June, I knew I wanted to continue training into the fall for another go at the 13.1. For most of the summer, I trained alone and stuck to a fairly rigid schedule of 4-5 miles on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, leaving the house at 5:45 am or earlier. Then on Saturdays I'd do my long runs around 6:00 am and worked up from six miles to my longest of eleven miles the weekend before the race. I was used to the Tues, Thurs, Sat schedule from the training in the Spring, although the start times kept getting earlier and earlier with Nate's work schedule starting earlier during the week.

I downloaded a bunch of fun running music (i.e. lots of early 2000s pop and rap!) and hit the pavement by myself many times, but also occasionally with a friend or two. I found myself running faster and faster during these training runs, and started feeling stronger and less horrible after a run. My previous comfortable pace was right around 9:00 min/mile and all of my half marathons have been clocked right around the 2 hour mark. But I found myself averaging 8:45 min/miles and even sometimes 8:30 min/miles for 8, 9, and even 11 mile runs. This was huge! This was scary. This meant I could potentially pull a PR for the half as long as the stars aligned with weather, my GI system, and my mental stamina. I'd done the training and I knew it was time to push myself to run my fastest 13.1 miles yet. I was nervous, but excited, on Friday night before the race.

At the Expo with my helpers:


Saturday morning, I woke up at 5:15 am and did my usual pre-long run routine: half of a cup of coffee, a whole English muffin with PBJ, and water. I got dressed, stretched a little, pinned my race bib to my tank top, and started to feel the butterflies in my stomach. What if I had to make numerous port-potty stops during the race? My GI system had been iffy during a portion of my long training runs, for no other reason than to frustrate me. What if it was thundering and lightening and they cancelled the race? What if I just mentally freaked out at the need to push and focus on pace, and what if I bonked?



My friend, Cathy and her husband Nick picked me up at 6:20 for the race that began at 7:15. We made it to the Brewers baseball stadium in plenty of time for a porta-potty stop and some selfies.


Technically we were supposed to be in different corrals to start but we cheated and all three of us lined up in 'H', which was right at the 1:55 pace group. Going into this race, my personal best time was 1:57:23 and that was in 2015. I ran the Brewers mini marathon in 2013 and clocked 2:00:06, then promptly threw up in the parking lot afterward, because I was sick with a fever when I did that nonsense. I knew I would beat my old time at this race, and was pretty sure I could PR past the 1:57 mark, too. I my heart I really wanted to be 1:55 and knew because I ran my eleven miles at an 8:32 pace, that I could maybe inch towards the 1:51 mark if I really pushed myself. I did not take into account the mega-hills on this course because I blocked them from my memory. I sort of started remembering them when the murmur of the crowd mentioned 'crazy hills' at the start line. But even so, my first goal was to PR and second goal was to be less than 1:55.

The gun went off and the rain started right on cue, just enough to coat our skin with a wet mist but nothing major. We held an 8:40 pace for the first four miles and then I decided to push it a little bit, fearing that I'd go out way too fast and then crash at the end. I left Nick and Cathy at mile four and watched my Garmin to keep my pace closer to 8:20s, which felt super hard. The hills started coming, the rain got a little harder, and then it pretty much stopped.

By mile seven I started feeling a little panicked at this fast pace. I didn't have my headphones with me because I've never listened to music during a race. I think it's best to 'take in your surroundings' and let the other runners and spectators entertain you, but I've always had a running partner during races to keep me chatting away, too. This time I was alone and sort of bored, and over-thinking things beyond reason. Gah, six more miles at this pace? Is my heart beating out of my chest? I mean, my stomach feels awesome and my legs are good, but my mind is just freaking out a little bit.

At mile eight I pulled back to an 8:30 pace, just feeling really over the constant checking of my Garmin. I wanted to play music, because I did have my phone strapped to my arm, but without headphones I wasn't sure if other runners would appreciate my love for techno and 2000s rap. Also I didn't want to stop and hunt for my Spotify music app while I ran, so I trudged on without music and with too much mental talk in my head.

This race had a TON of aide stations, with a total of ten throughout the race. I think it was the first time that I didn't stop at every single water station, instead going for every-other station. I found two girls running together right ahead of me with a strong pace and decided to follow them the rest of the way. I wouldn't let them get too far ahead of me before I pushed harder to keep up. I envied their camaraderie and their headphones for music and vowed that next time I'd have my own headphones if I didn't have a running partner for the whole 13.1 miles.

Mile nine: I found myself running along side a military man carrying a flag on a pole (heavy!), and another guy ran up next to him and started talking. They were both military, one from Green Bay and one from D.C. The flag carrier was running in another half marathon the very next day, and the D.C. guy said he was just along for the ride on this race, with his wife 'at least ten minutes ahead of us'. I started talking to them, too, craving a distraction from my own thoughts in my tired brain. We didn't talk too long but it was just what I needed to get over a hump, because I knew that mile ten boasted two large hills.

One of the girls I was following had bolt for the porta-potty at the next aide station, and I saw her sternly tell her friend 'you keep going!'. So now I was following another lone ranger as we headed up the massive hill at mile ten. We hit another one right after that and my lungs were burning. I noticed my pace slowed to around 9:00 min/mile at the top of those hills and decided now was the time to plow forward, as the 1:55 pacer yelled out 'the rest is downhill, the hardest part is over!' I was pretty sure he was lying but knew I had to keep going anyway, and I hoped that he was going a little faster than his predicted pace because he was literally breathing down my neck. All of a sudden Nick sprinted past me at this point, saying Cathy set him free, and he was going for it! I asked him if she was okay, but he didn't hear me, and then I tried to keep up with him for about ten seconds before I realized there was no way in hell. He later told me he ran those last three miles at a 7:10 pace. HA! Nope.

I had two GPS trackers going on this day--one with my Garmin on my wrist, and one with Map My Run app talking to me on my phone. The app was on crack and was seriously calling out mile markers at least 0.25 before I'd actually hit them, which was such a false sense of excitement. Nothing like saying 'you've hit eleven miles at this amazing pace' when in reality, I still had a quarter of a mile to go and my pace was not nearly that fast, since it wasn't calculating my distance correctly. My Garmin did seem to be spot on, though, and I probably should have just turned off my phone at this point but didn't want to even expend the energy to go there.

Mile eleven came during a straight away, then we hit mile twelve and I could see the stadium. The glorious, glorious stadium. This entire time I was keeping my eyes out for Nate and the kids, because he was considering taking Truman and CC in the Burley on his bike to see me at various places. But I had told him that if it was raining, he shouldn't get them out in the rain and it would be fine to just see them at the finish line. He also told me that Truman really wanted to see me inside of the stadium, when we run by the dug outs right before mile 13. Since I didn't see them at mile twelve, I was pretty sure I'd see them in the stadium but I didn't want to get my hopes up too high.

We entered the stadium and I felt like I was sprinting at this point. Less than a mile to go and I knew I had to empty all of my energy into the last leg of the race. Sure enough, as I entered the stadium and started running on the dirt by the dug outs, I saw Nate first in the stands! Then I saw Truman, Cecelia, Porter, Tony and Lois next to him. I was so excited to see my crew and they were all smiles and waves, so how could I not get amped up with my cheering section in full effect? Porter had the sweetest half smile/half sad face on----like he was happy to see me but also confused about why I couldn't stop and hold him for a bit. I rounded the corner and passed my family, feeling like my legs might actually go numb from sprinting. But as I exited the stadium, I heard the finish line and knew 'this is it, almost done now.'





I saw the 13 mile marker, turned the corner, and saw the glorious finish line. I was sprinting and probably grunting and praying that my legs didn't just get tangled up underneath me. The main clock read 1:54:30 and I was guessing that I started about 30 seconds after the gun. I tried to remember to smile as I crossed the finish line, hit the stop button on my Garmin, and felt the immense relief of being FINISHED with a hard race!

I got a bottle of water, my medal, and then heard Nate yell, 'Julia!' directly to my right. I went over and suddenly felt extreme happiness and not as tired and I thought I'd be, just seeing their faces again. I got kisses from Nate and the kids and we talked briefly. 'How do you feel? What was your time?', Nate asked. 'I'm tired and I don't know,' I replied, as I handed him my phone and tried to figure out my Garmin. 'I think a little less than 1:54,' I told him and then we high-fived, before I went down the gauntlet to get all of my post-race food.

Although I wasn't super impressed with the expo before the race, the numerous aide stations during the race and the post-race food were both amazing! I got plantain chips, popcorn, Clif bars, Kind bars, bananas, both chocolate and vanilla protein drinks, string cheese, and more! I am not joking when I say that Porter ate 75% of this stuff within the first five minutes of us reuniting outside of the race gates. He was starving and is figuring out that watching half marathons means lots of food at the end! I am never very hungry after finishing a run and this time I just forced myself to drink water. Boring, I know, but at least the kids were happy!

We were all hanging out and talking, CC and Truman were really proud of me and kept hugging me, and Porter was in the double BOB just munching away. I got our family picture and then we noticed a man with a huge camera aiming it kind of towards us. He kept getting closer and then passed us, moving towards the stadium. I turned around and saw a guy proposing to his girlfriend right behind us!! She had just finished the race and he was wearing street clothes, he was down on one knee and she was crying with her hands at her mouth. I could not believe what I was seeing, such an awesome and emotional moment---I'm guessing the dude with the big camera was a hired photographer, and we noticed some of their family around them, too. Ah, what a day!!



The proposal aftermath!


Porter:


Next we hit up the playground, after failing to get a picture with Bernie Brewer because he went back inside of the stadium. Nick and Cathy met us at the playground. Cathy did well at a 2:04 finish time, and Nick's first half marathon time was 1:50. As we were chatting at the playground it started to pour, so we scattered about and gave a few more high-fives before parting ways. Tony, Lois, Nate, the kids and I ran to the van...or, more accurately, I hobbled. We headed home where I showered, did one errand with CC, we ate lunch, and then Porter and I both took 2.5 hour long naps while Nate and the big kids attended a birthday party. Yes, two-and-a-half hours! It was almost as amazing as my shower that day.








My official time for this race was 1:53:51, which is an 8:42 pace for the 13.1 miles. I really felt like I was going faster than this pace for the race, but I'm pretty sure the hills were more than my 8:30 pace could handle. I know that during the race I kept telling myself, 'No regrets, you are truly going as fast as you can without overdoing it. No regrets. This is the fastest race you can possibly run right now!' So I'm going with that mentality, because it really was such a great race. I found out what it means to push myself and care about my pace. I found out what it means to PR by three-and-a-half minutes. I beat my previous Brewers half race time by almost seven minutes!



Ha, I wish my pace was that amazing! Definitely did not run 13.70 miles, Map My Run :(


Pretty good official stats! I've definitely never been 27th for my age group!




I am officially much faster now than I was before I birthed three children. This fact is something that has me thinking a lot about what our bodies can do. We, as women, are so incredibly strong. We are powerful and determined. We grow tiny humans inside of our bodies, birth them into this world, sustain them and raise them. We take care of our families and we take care of ourselves. We do SO MUCH as women, as moms, and wives, and we often don't give ourselves enough credit. We doubt ourselves, we beat ourselves up for perceived failures, we often feel like we are spread too thin and we absolutely deplete ourselves when we try to do.it.all. And yet, we really can do anything we set our minds to do, can't we? I'm feeling very #GirlPower right now, in case you can't tell.

Running used to be something I did to stay in shape during college. I was never a long distance runner in high school, because I had basketball and volleyball practices and games to keep me active. Then college came and I ran to burn some calories and cancel out the late night partying that happened after studying my face off. After college I kept running pretty casually and we ran our first half marathon in 2005, at a 10:00 min/mile pace.

Then came our kids and running took a back seat to motherhood for awhile. Slowly but surely, I started to see running for what it is right now in my life: a coping mechanism. A stress reliever. A way to take charge of my time and myself, to feel accomplished and more in control of a sometimes chaotic and and very loud life. It calms me, it sets my day off in a positive light, and it allows me to be a better, more patient mother. As I age, I fully realize how blessed I am to have this capable, healthy, imperfect body of mine. I can run when others cannot. That right there is reason enough for me to continue as a Mother Runner.

Faster now than I was before my children came along, I can tell you with all certainty that I love running. Or at least, I love the feeling of accomplishment after a run. I'm sure many of you can relate.  :)

Half-Marathon #6

Despite our very sub-par training, Nate and I managed to complete our sixth half marathon together. It was rough, it was awesome, and we still really love the 13.1 mile distance for races. Kind of want to do another one this fall but we will have to regain the ability of walking down stairs without crying in pain first.

In the twelve week training program that we always (loosely) follow, this time we were the loosest ever and even skipped three long runs during training. Not okay, and I know I've never missed a long run before (maybe Nate was a rebel and missed one here and there) but apparently May was a very busy month for us. Traveling, having visitors, and gearing up for summer meant we just didn't fit in training like we should have. Three weeks ago I sort of panicked thinking there was just no way we could actually run in this race, then Nate hurt his Achilles tendon in our nine mile training run and proclaimed himself OUT. He sucked it up and we each did our ten mile training run separately last weekend, feeling pretty good about things again so we forged ahead. I told myself that even if we had to walk a bit we would be running this race, dang it.

We always say this, but we really meant it this time: who cares about time, let's just have fun with it! So last week I did two shorter runs on weekday mornings, Nate did one, and we confirmed that Nate's parents could watch the children while we subjected ourselves to the thirteen point one.

One reason we picked the Hartfest Half was that it's local, and by 'local' I mean that we could literally walk to the start line from our house. Can't beat that! It was an 8:30 start time which meant we didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn and drive somewhere a few hours away for a race, like we've done in the past. We woke up around 6:30, ate breakfast, drank coffee, and tended to our daughter who was the only one of the crew awake before we left at 7:45. Tony and Lois came over and played with CC, and eventually the boys did awake at a whopping 8:30 (but don't worry, Porter was up at 5:00 for a bottle, too). So we left at 7:45 but not before I made Nate take a selfie with me, of course.



This was the smallest race we've done with just 275 runners, and we got our bibs and shirts right before the race started. We went to the bathroom, remarked that it was a LOT colder than expected (upper 40s to start) plus it was drizzling and foggy. At least it wasn't 80 and sunny, I suppose! I struggled to decide between running in a tank top versus my long sleeves and was practically shivering at the time, so I went long sleeves. Really wanted to ditch them by mile nine of the race since I always underestimate how hot I get while running.



We met Laura a few minutes before we all lined up at the start line. I had messaged Laura earlier asking if she was back to her lightning-fast pace, just in case Nate couldn't run with me. And sure enough, she is faster than I could ever dream to be so I knew we would not actually be running together. But it was good to catch up and snap a picture before we took off. I decided to carry a water bottle with me for this race since I've been using one throughout my training runs. I just cannot get enough water and I didn't want to freak out about not getting enough at the water stops, so lugging it throughout the race wasn't really too awful. I also brought my phone in my arm case without headphones specifically to use for pictures. Because I'm that lame, duh;)

Why is my pinkie finger up like this??


We took off and since it was a small race, the runners all spaced out really quickly instead of taking a few miles to distance elbows from bumping into each other. The course was scenic, as it began with a paved path that is all too familiar to Nate and I, since we run on it for nearly every training run by our house. After that paved path, it turned into gravel and some packed dirt, as the course took us through a ton of loops and turns and HILLS. Seriously, so many turns and although the part near a reservoir was quite beautiful with the fog and grass, I also don't love running on gravel or dirt so it seemed rather difficult.

Nate and I chatted most of the way and I'm SO glad he was able to run with me, since running alone always means I go much slower and get very bored. I noted that by mile 8-9 I was struggling and my legs were kind of on fire. Then Nate sort of wanted to die at mile 10, but both of us pushed through after that because we were out of the woodsy turns and back at the local pool in familiar surroundings. Near mile eleven I asked Nate what our total time was, since I didn't have my Garmin set to show that (only pace and mileage show up for me right away). He said 1:38 and I quickly calculated that we would surely come in under two hours unless something bad happened in the next two miles. I also noted our pace was right at the 9:00/mile mark which is significantly faster than all of our training runs. Actually, in the past four halves we've done, we have always come in with times ranging from 1:57-2:00 so that speed seems to be our race pace. Our very first half was in 2005 and we finished with 2:10 as our time, and in my head I just wanted to beat that 'slowest' time in this current half marathon. Then at mile eleven I realized we were surprising ourselves yet again.

We hit mile twelve and the prayed that a train would not block us from the finish line, which was a good possibility as we ran over the tracks and past the Farmer's Market. We cheesed it up for the professional photographer at this point and I bought the image, first time ever but it's hilarious! We saw Tony with Truman and Porter, holding an adorable sign and our energy was renewed by those sweet faces. Then Lois and CC were right at the finish line with another sign, as we somewhat sprinted through the end. Sweet, sweet sight of the finish line, how I love you.

Also love hitting 'stop' on my garmin to see this.


Nate and I got our medals and gave each other high-fives, then met up with our crew. The kids were all a little stunned by the crowd or the noise or something but eventually they perked up and were happy to see our (sweaty) faces. We talked to Tony and Lois, talked to Laura, and then had her take a few pictures for us.



Couldn't have done it without those two bigger cheerleaders!


The kids had some awesome snack baggies made by Lois (fruit loops, Oat Squares cereal, with jelly beans added in for fun) and they were eager to tell us that they saw a duck in the water on the walk over to the finish line. Both CC and Truman also loved our medals and we noticed that they had beer bottle openers on the back. Nice!! There was a full breakfast spread for a post-race meal, so Nate and I loaded up. I had to share all of my bacon with Cecelia but it was still yummy and it felt good to sit down (horrible to stand up).













Porter was getting fussy around 11:30 since he hadn't had a morning nap this date, so I walked back with the double bob and the single bob and my in-laws (so many BOBS!) while Nate drove back to drop off another friend at his house.

The rest of the day was spent by taking the most amazing shower ever, wearing compression socks for our aching calves, and laying on the couch. Nate also had major 'potty problems' for the remainder of the day and was basically out of commission. Each of us got short naps while the two little children took stupendously long ones (Truman on the iPad for his quiet time). I walked the kids down to a neighbor's house later for a short playdate, then Tony and Lois came over for dinner. Grilled prime rib burgers, baked beans, french fries, and fruit with a half of a beer (split with Lois)? DIVINE.

Pre-shower, you can't really see how sweaty and d-e-a-d I am here but trust.


These babies feel great.


YASSSSS.


Nate and I are old now and we both decided to go to bed at 8pm when the children were asleep for the night. Except I did technically stay up until almost 10pm on my laptop online shopping in bed while Nate sawed logs;) Today we each feel pretty good but we're obviously quite sore----training part way will do that to you! But we are proud that we finished the race and we even PR'd with a time of 1:57:20! Since it was a small race, both Nate and I somehow placed 11th in our division, too. Our closest time to that would have been the St. Louis half way back in 2009 right before I got pregnant with Truman, when we finished in 1:57:43. Whoo hoo! Like I said, our other times have been within four minutes of that but it's still a great feeling to PR when we are feeling older and less trained. We still have it, baby! And we are feeling it today, but worth it.

Now to decide about the next race. Maybe something this fall? We shall see, but half marathons are our favorites. No desire to do another full marathon again and I like having a goal, especially to prove to myself that I can still run with three children and increasingly limited 'free time'. I've said it before but I'll say it again: running is more for my mental state than anything else. I dig it.

April 30: Exercising as a mom of three + Running Music

Last time I blogged daily in August of 2013, I covered the topic of Exercising as a Mom of Two. And then a reader left this comment:

"I would love a post about exercise and reclaiming your body after kids, how you have lost the baby weight and your goals for future fitness, how you prioritize being healthy, etc. you are so inspiring!"

Not sure about the inspiring part but I will touch on this topic again and will list a few workout songs I'm into these days, too.

Regarding 'reclaiming' my body after three kids? The third time around has been a little harder, honestly. Either that or I've been more focused on it and weighed myself much more frequently, especially knowing that I didn't have prolonged nursing on my side anymore. I hate to be a head case about the scale but it's I toed the line a bit there.

I gained forty-three pounds with Truman and lost it all by nine months, and I don't remember weighing myself too often to see how quickly it left me. (One week PP post here, two weeks PP post here, and eleven months PP post here.) I gained thirty-four pounds with Cecelia and same thing: definitely gone by nine months but I can't say that I was weighing myself regularly (two week PP post here). With both Truman and Cecelia I was nursing like crazy that entire time (to a year with Truman, sixteen months with CC). Plus, we trained and ran half marathons before those children turned a year old.

I gained less weight when pregnant with Porter (31 pounds), I lost the first 20 pounds really quickly (one week PP post here), and then hung onto the final 10 for what seemed like forever. Porter stopped breastfeeding at six months and that is when I really ramped up my workouts to be consistently three days per week, and I no longer had to worry about killing my milk supply with a few hard workouts. So I figured the rest of the weight would just fall off with increased workouts, but it's been a slower....at least in my head it has been.

The last time I weighed myself I was two pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm nearly ten months postpartum. Two pounds is practically nothing, since I can easily justify that being extra water or a big meal or heavier clothes I'm wearing when I step on the scale;) We have been training for a half marathon for the past four weeks, which is slightly later in the postpartum time frame than what we've done in the past. Even though I was working out consistently from about six months until now, I think my body needs this extra mileage to really melt away the final ten pounds. And I never really thought breastfeeding burned that many calories for me past the first few months, but maybe they are right and it really does! Go figure.

So yes, I basically have my body back according to the scale just a month later than I did the previous two times. My pre-pregnancy clothes started fitting around three months postpartum but of course things are shifted and a little wonky past the milestone of: Pre-Preg Jeans Fit, Holla! I'm blessed with super-great genes because I didn't get any stretch marks from my pregnancies (thanks, mom!!) but the skin of my stomach has always taken a solid six months to bounce back. Nothing too horrible, really, but if we are talking about terrifying body changes post-babies? My boobs. Oh, my poor little girls, you guys. Lest you want to hate me for being back to my pre-pregnancy weight already, let me just tell you about my tats.

I was an A/B cup before kids but they were a nice, perky set of smallish boobs that fit my frame just fine. Pregnancy always brought on a fantastic rack in the C/D range, and postpartum would initially bump my girls up to DDs. INSANITY for this flat chested mama and I did not enjoy those prime-breastfeeding tatas. I'd take my pregnancy boobs any day, though. Because now? I cannot even. I haven't been fitted for any bras since Porter stopped nursing because I cannot bring myself to know whether or not size 'negative double A' exists. Practically concave over here and I'm grateful for pregnancy and breastfeeding, but really wish my chest wasn't comparable to a twelve year old boy sometimes.

I like to dream about a boob job, and even my OB said, 'I wouldn't think bad of you if you got one.' AWESOME to hear that from a medical professional, right? OMG. But besides the cost and the pain and recovery and all of that, I would be so nervous that fake boobs wouldn't be ME, you know? I'm athletic and wouldn't know what to do with big boobs that I've never truly had, and I would be afraid they'd look totally foreign and....fake;) I don't know. For now I am comfortable enough to rock my pancakes and don't mind showing a little rib bones where cleavage is supposed to be on V-neck shirts, but whatever. I don't think I would ever actually go through with a major surgery just to make my chest bigger, but I'm sure I'll talk about it plenty in the meantime!

Now for the actual exercise part of this post: I should note that I generally enjoy exercising, specifically running, and I liken this to being a high school athlete. #HasBeen, for sure, but I've always been physically active and looking for fitness goals. But this has certainly changed now that I'm a mom. Mainly because 'me time' gets less and less with each subsequent child and the logistics of making time to exercise is no small feat. I'm sure many of you can commiserate here.

One thing we did after Porter that we hadn't done prior to his arrival was to buy a gym membership including the kids for childcare. During my maternity leave and through part of the fall, that is how I exercised: by hauling my crew to the gym on my days off, exercising on the treadmill, showering alone (!!) and then carting everyone home. This was fine for awhile, but then it got a little hairy with Porter's nap schedule, Truman started school, and then Cecelia didn't want to be at the gym without him. I did not like forcing CC to be in the playroom on our days home together and it really broke my heart to see her cry a few times when I left. So onto plan B.

I started going to the gym at 5:30am a few days per week, while the children slept and Nate slept. This was a little more challenging when Porter wasn't STTN, but as soon as he stopped nursing I knew that even if he *did* wake while I was gone, Nate would be more than capable of making him a bottle. That transition away from nursing was rather freeing for things like this---the ability to be away and not worry about breastfeeding really helped me to stick with a morning workout routine. Our bigger kids might wake up early for the day but they always stay in their room until their Tot Clock turns yellow, which is 6:55am.

So when I went the gym on cold, dark, dreary, winter mornings I started viewing this as my 'me time' and like a little luxury built into my day when I can do something nice for myself. Staying in shape, pushing myself to become more fit, sweating, focusing on myself for a bit----all of these things are really important to me. And I really really enjoy the post-workout sense of accomplishment, too. Sets the day off right! But the way I make exercise a priority is that I see a direct correlation to how frequently I exercise and my mood. If I skip exercise for a stretch of time, I start to get really crabby and annoyed at myself. I know that I'm a better mom and more capable of handling the ups and downs of any given day after a good run.

I think the worst part is physically getting out of the bed and into the car, to drive to the gym. Once up, it's usually a fantastic work out and a great way to start the day. I like to chant things like, 'I will be tired if I get up now, or if I get up in one more hour, so might as well get up and go to the gym,' to help me get out of bed. And it's really true---I don't find that sleeping an extra hour, skipping the gym, makes me feel any more rested. If anything, I feel more energized after exercising and more tired if I skip it. Of course, solid sleep prior to the alarm makes this 100x better.

Now that it's getting nicer out and the sun rises by 6:00am, I prefer to run outside in the mornings, skipping the drive to and from the gym and skipping the treadmill. I don't despise the treadmill really, especially since our gym has TVs on each treadmill and I can get my Bravo/HGTV fix there. We don't have cable so it's rather thrilling to watch a few missed shows while running---but then again, the 5:30am slot is rather hit or miss for good shows on any station. But running outside will always be my favorite. Who can top views like this with early morning sunshine and fresh air??



And clouds like this! Scenery.


So yes, I prefer to run as my mode of exercise. We are training for a half-marathon in June, so I usually run 3 or 4 miles on Tuesday and Thursday early mornings with a long run on Saturday mornings. We are up to 6 miles for our long runs right now. The weekend run is when Nate and I train together, so my in-laws will watch the kids for us. How many times do I have to mention their sainthood?

(post-run sweats from this morning)


I will sometimes run outside with the double stroller, pushing Cecelia and Porter while Truman is at school. I might attempt to have Truman ride his bike next to the double BOB monstrosity at some point this summer when I have all three at home with me. But really, I like running alone MUCH better than pushing 75# of kids and stroller in front of me (duh). I have mentioned to Nate that I would love to get a treadmill in our basement, too, and maybe I would do that instead of a gym membership this fall. We usually put our membership on hold through the summer anyway, and NOT having to drive to and from the gym (that is five minutes away) would be great once it's dark in the mornings again.



The other form of exercise I really like are the classes at our gym---there's a bootcamp class, an interval class, and a treadmill class that I did for awhile in the early mornings. But then I somehow hurt my back and probably wasn't ready for such intense exercise after Porter. I needed to work on my core a lot more and now I'm just back to running--my tried and true favorite. I could get really into yoga or maybe a spin class and should probably start lifting weights again, but I'm not willing to wake up at 4:30am to get a BIG work out in on those mornings. But maybe someday!

As for my goals for future fitness that the original commenter asked about, I am a big fan of half-marathons for setting a goal and following a program to achieve it. Halves are a great distance for us and I enjoy the whole process of training as much as race day. I have run one full marathon and know that there's no way I could ever dedicate the time to that training again, at least not until all of the kids are out of the house! But I would like to focus on my posture in the next few years, using my personal PT husband to help me strengthen my upper back and my super weak butt muscles so that I can perhaps prevent an injury going forward. I would be really devastated if I got hurt and couldn't run and my mental sanity would take a beating as well, so I have been asking Nate to give me a tailored routine for strengthening my weak areas. He hesitates to advise me with anything because I can be defensive (not me!) but now I'm actually ASKING him to help me out, so I'm all ears, Nate!

With this outside running (sans treadmill or beloved cable TV on said treadmill), I had to make a new playlist for music because I despised the older stuff I had on my iPod shuffle. Now I just use my phone and we have Spotify, so I created a playlist of 'running stuff' that I can share with you now. I like dance/techno stuff and rap music for running apparently---does that make me hip or super old? I can't decide.

-Animals-Maroon 5 (Cecelia and Truman love this one, is mildly inappropriate at times if you listen to the lyrics, but they love to howl when Adam Levigne howls)

-I Can't Stop Drinking About You-Bebe Rexha (I just like this one for the beat. Found it randomly on Spotify)

-Truffle Butter-Nicki Minaj (SO TERRIBLY INAPPRORIATE for any children within an ear shot, especially the non-radio version. But I can't help it, it pumps me up for some reason. We shall not discuss specific lyrics here. XXX rated, yikes)

-We Found Love-Rihanna (Have always loved this one so much, is kind of techno and okay for kids if we happen to have a dance party)

-Where Have you Been-Rihanna (Love you, Rihanna! I like to pretend I am an excellent dancer while running to this song. It's quite the sight)

-Heroes (we could be)-Alesso (good one, kids like it, too)

-Shut up and Dance-Walk the Moon (another kid appropriate one, but I don't love the phrase 'shut up' so I act like they are saying 'shush up'. Ha, I'm sure Truman and CC don't buy it)

-Roll The Bass-Major Lazer (I actually hate this one but Truman loves 'the fast part'. Gives me a freaking headache, way too much techno for my tastes).

-Get Low-Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz (classic college bar song. Really prefer the edited version, the unedited one is shocking!)

-Ruff Ryders Anthem-DMX (Sticking with the college theme, I feel very hard when rapping with DMX)

-Yeah!-Usher (oh, college, I loved you)

-Turn Down for What-DJ Snake (Obsessed, and it always reminds me of this YouTube video of the boat crash. And then I can't stop laughing. OMG, their sunglasses flying--hope nobody got seriously hurt, but I cried laughing at this the first time I saw it. I hear this took place at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri which makes it that much more funny.)

I think that is it for this topic. Did I miss anything?

(Thus ends my daily blogging this month! I only skipped one Saturday, can't believe I have posted this frequently but I like it. I like it a lot. Writing every day feels cathartic and kind of special. I wasn't able to keep up with e-mailing friends and probably didn't get to chat with Nate as much in the evenings, but it didn't feel like too much of a sacrifice to focus on the old blog daily this month. I even have a few more ideas drafted up, hope I can keep the momentum going and continue to post semi-frequently here going forward.)