4.13.2008

Internet fun

After working all day at the hospital with my husband, I did the unthinkable. I offered to go grocery shopping with him [you remember how I feel about grocery shopping, right?]. I have no idea what came over me.

The most interesting part is that Nate declined my offer in order to rush home and watch The Masters. Yes, in our household The Masters trumps all things, including grocery shopping. Fine by me because that means 1. I get out of g.shopping one more day! and 2. I get to do whatever I please with my time. It makes no difference to my husband if I surf the net all night. He wouldn't even bat an eye if I danced around the room naked. He'd probably tell me that I was blocking his view of his idol, his obsession, his secret lover.....Tiger Woods. Tiger will always trump me, as well. If Nate ever had the chance to meet Tiger in real life our marriage would seriously be in jeopardy---El Tigre could totally steal my husband away from me forever.

So I decided to give The Masters a chance. I tried to watch them, I really did, but here is a little sampling of what happened next:

J: So are there any new pictures of Tiger's daughter yet?
N: I have no idea.
J: How long have they been married again?
N: Uh, a few years?
J: Does that other guy always wear all black? Is he married? Where is his wedding ring?
N: Are you being serious right now?
J: If I'm going to watch golf with you I need to know the juicy details and social standing of each player. It's only fair.

And then I gave into the laptop temptation and started Google Imaging things. Tiger's daughter, their wedding, and their wedding rings.

Is there a theme here? Babies, weddings, rings, clothing? Am I shallow or what? I found one measly little picture of Miss Elin Wood's ring, featured here:
I found this adorable picture of Miss Sam Alexis Woods [Nate rattled off her name without hesitation. It's because he wants Sam's daddy]:
And then I found this freakish clone of our dog! Henry? How did you get lucky enough to pose with Mr. Woods?That settles it: we are well on our way to becoming The Woods. Nate is almost a Black/Asian professional golfer. I am practically a blond Swedish model. We nearly have a baby girl named Sam. And a ba-jillion dollars. Life is good:)

Anyway, that ominous ring search led me to some fabulous eye candy. Although I did not discover Tiger's wedding band I found the following BLING. And I love pictures of bling more than pretty wedding pictures. Feast your eyes upon these beauties, courtesy of In Style Weddings:

Swoon. At least my actual ring somewhat resembles a few of these beasts. And it's not like I want to ditch my ring and upgrade to a 5 carat monster but it's so much fun to stare at these guys for free.

While perusing In Style Weddings I found a few more gems. This fabulous floral arrangement, for instance. The ribbon wrapped vase would be absolutely perfect for our kitchen table. See, it doesn't even have to be wedding related to be on the website:

And what in heaven's name is this?!?! Nobody asked me if Andy Roddick---a.k.a my other boyfriend besides John Mayer---could get engaged to girl named Brooklyn Decker. Blech. It sounds like she's done some pole dancing in her life. I suppose she's cute but come on, Andy! At the very least you could have settled for Mandy Moore. I liked you two together. Why couldn't you work it out?
Eye candy, for sure. It's fun researching pointless crap on the internet to avoid watching the most boring game on the face of the earth. And why do they have the worst music imaginable for all golf tournaments? Does anyone else get subjected to such rubbish?

8 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to your golf conversation! Yesterday Jim and I were watching it and I kept saying things like "Man, I could have made that shot" or "These guys suck". Jim just looked at me like I was nuts! I then proceeded to ask him if I could get pink golf clubs if I decided to give the sport a shot. He said yes but I'm sure he just did to shut me up :-D

    They have to learn..if they subject us to such a boring sport they must put up with our chit-chat!

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  2. I really liked Andy R. and Mandy Moore together too. They were adorable together!

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  3. J-
    Spent the day watching part of the Masters too, until I ended up at the driving range with Matt as he was inspired from his viewings. Golf is ok...but VERY boring to watch. I agree that Andy Roddick and Mandy Moore are much better together, however, the chick he is engaged to is like 20 (very young). So I mean the wedding probably wont even happen!

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  4. Golf is so boring to watch. Did we not work at the country club forever and still not play one single game of golf? Thank you sun, thank you pool, thank you reading laffy-taffy jokes and adding up the ones we actually guessed right(M.O.P. take it to the house :)!! I would much rather drive the cart around getting intoxicated all day in the hot, hot sun :)
    Loooooove,
    Milldogg...Yes, random I know, but felt compelled to add in on the boringness of watching golf.

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  5. Andrea~Nate has tried to lure me in with the pink golf club option. It hasn't worked yet:)

    Maria~I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    Keri~you are obviously a better person that I for attending a driving range event. I admit, I've gone that far in the past but kudos to you.

    Dogg~you are so random and I love it! Ah, the days of country club lifeguards.

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  6. Hi Julia~ I came across your blog from the stlwed website...I actually bought your cookie jars from you after the wedding. I turned them into candy jars and they were a huge hit. I just wanted to say hi, and tell you that you have a great blog. Very entertaining and relateble. I too was subjected to "masters torture" yesterday but only worse. As if watching it weren't bad enough...my husband too is obsessed with Tiger and had to put the DVR in super slow-mo whenever Tiger was up so he could imitate his swing!

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  7. Golf. . .BLAH!!!

    So, I come from a family of golfers, even Mom played(s). Big Bro got a golf scholarship to a school near Springfield. Lil' Sis did also. Trish = HATES golf, never played, never will! The family even got Ric playing, so he goes with Dad and Bro occasionally. (He is SOOO itching for some nice weather so that they can go!)

    Ric loves Tiger. Lil Sis is OBSESSED with Sergio (another pro golfer). In fact, if they had a reality show with awesome golfers, my bro would be on it and would win (I'm sure of it). ;)

    So I'm TOTALLY with you on the golf issue. BORR-Ring!!!! ha

    (Sorry for writing a book! ha)

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  8. My husband and I had literally almost the same conversation during The Masters until he got so annoyed with me that he retreated to his man cave and yelled that I was not allowed to come down if I was going to make one peep....JEEZ!! I was just trying to take interest in something he loves. Next time I"ll just go shopping and spend his money!

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