After working all day at the hospital with my husband, I did the unthinkable. I offered to go grocery shopping with him [you remember how I feel about grocery shopping, right?]. I have no idea what came over me.
The most interesting part is that Nate declined my offer in order to rush home and watch The Masters. Yes, in our household The Masters trumps all things, including grocery shopping. Fine by me because that means 1. I get out of g.shopping one more day! and 2. I get to do whatever I please with my time. It makes no difference to my husband if I surf the net all night. He wouldn't even bat an eye if I danced around the room naked. He'd probably tell me that I was blocking his view of his idol, his obsession, his secret lover.....Tiger Woods. Tiger will always trump me, as well. If Nate ever had the chance to meet Tiger in real life our marriage would seriously be in jeopardy---El Tigre could totally steal my husband away from me forever.
So I decided to give The Masters a chance. I tried to watch them, I really did, but here is a little sampling of what happened next:
J: So are there any new pictures of Tiger's daughter yet?
N: I have no idea.
J: How long have they been married again?
N: Uh, a few years?
J: Does that other guy always wear all black? Is he married? Where is his wedding ring?
N: Are you being serious right now?
J: If I'm going to watch golf with you I need to know the juicy details and social standing of each player. It's only fair.
And then I gave into the laptop temptation and started Google Imaging things. Tiger's daughter, their wedding, and their wedding rings.
Is there a theme here? Babies, weddings, rings, clothing? Am I shallow or what? I found one measly little picture of Miss Elin Wood's ring, featured here:
I found this adorable picture of Miss Sam Alexis Woods [Nate rattled off her name without hesitation. It's because he wants Sam's daddy]:
And then I found this freakish clone of our dog! Henry? How did you get lucky enough to pose with Mr. Woods?That settles it: we are well on our way to becoming The Woods. Nate is almost a Black/Asian professional golfer. I am practically a blond Swedish model. We nearly have a baby girl named Sam. And a ba-jillion dollars. Life is good:)
Anyway, that ominous ring search led me to some fabulous eye candy. Although I did not discover Tiger's wedding band I found the following BLING. And I love pictures of bling more than pretty wedding pictures. Feast your eyes upon these beauties, courtesy of In Style Weddings:
Swoon. At least my actual ring somewhat resembles a few of these beasts. And it's not like I want to ditch my ring and upgrade to a 5 carat monster but it's so much fun to stare at these guys for free.
While perusing In Style Weddings I found a few more gems. This fabulous floral arrangement, for instance. The ribbon wrapped vase would be absolutely perfect for our kitchen table. See, it doesn't even have to be wedding related to be on the website:
And what in heaven's name is this?!?! Nobody asked me if Andy Roddick---a.k.a my other boyfriend besides John Mayer---could get engaged to girl named Brooklyn Decker. Blech. It sounds like she's done some pole dancing in her life. I suppose she's cute but come on, Andy! At the very least you could have settled for Mandy Moore. I liked you two together. Why couldn't you work it out?
Eye candy, for sure. It's fun researching pointless crap on the internet to avoid watching the most boring game on the face of the earth. And why do they have the worst music imaginable for all golf tournaments? Does anyone else get subjected to such rubbish?