Heart Exploding from Cute

Her two bottom teeth are not messing around anymore. Sharp little nubbins mean our days of playing 'chew mommy's finger' are over. If she bites me one more time nursing, then proceeds to chuckle at my misfortune when I scream, I may have to nibble her toes a little harder than usual. She's tasty. I can't help it.




Shhh. Don't tell big brother that missy is playing with Clarabel. 'I'm about teach this train who's boss, ma.'



Baby looking at the Christmas tree in amazement = heart melted. Actually I think she just wanted to eat that random fox toy up there.



The wonder of her first Christmas. Sigh.



Christmas-themed hair bows. Enough to last us a few holiday seasons, all made by Go-Go. Practically doing one per day as a countdown, like a freaking awesome advent calendar;)



Baby wool peacoats. In red. With a Peter Pan collar. That was snagged from a consignment sale for just $9---tags still in place, from a high-end boutique. SCORE indeed. Even if it is a bit roomy;)


This tender-hearted boy. The one who now tells me 'Mommy, I love you. And I love Cece' nearly every day unprompted. Kissing his sister for no reason at all, other than 'because I love her'. And the fake half smile is always a bonus;)



Having two children at Christmas time this year. In our new house that we've worked so hard to make our own. And the kids in matching pajamas. I want this to be a yearly tradition, no matter how hard it is to get matching pajamas for a boy and a girl. Literally, nothing sweeter. Even if CC did spit up pumpkin onto her jams in 2 seconds.


None of these turned out great and I fully intend to force them into another photo session at some point. But hey--this was after baths, right before C's bedtime, when I was single-momming it. And apparently I don't edit photos anymore---these would have been nicer with the white balance fixed. And in a collage. But oh well!

Continue on...


The half smile! Right before she threw herself back into the floor!


He was so proud to 'hold' her.


Oh, man.


GAH!!!


But then she got distracted...


Bam! 'And I'm up again!'


Also? She is rolling now. FINALLY. At six-and-a-half months she can finally roll from back to belly. Non-stop. Hates being on her back now. I love it so much and for the record, no---seeing a second child meet milestones is not less exciting than the first time around. She just wanted to take her time, I suppose. And I do not mind at ALL---enjoying her days when she is not entirely mobile.

So much to be thankful for right now. Thank you God, for the cuteness of these two incredible blessings. My heart is overfilled with love for them now and always.

Senseless

It makes no sense and it probably never will. Senseless, shocking violence in America. Again.

You've probably read numerous blog posts, status updates, and responses to the mass shooting in Connecticut yesterday. I'm sure you are still processing all of the information streaming out of your computer or television and if you are anything like me, you are feeling sufficiently overwhelmed. And sad. And scared. And then the anger came to me this morning after the concept settled in a bit. Which makes me crave the therapeutic typing of a post on these keys. I doubt I have anything new or especially inspirational to say to you today but I want to say it, just the same.

The 'why?' and the 'how?' seem to be the most popular questions at the moment. Why would this kid do something so gruesome, horrific and devastating? Why an elementary school? Why victimize innocent children--a seemingly untouchable population that truly symbolizes goodness and hope and the future? If he was mentally ill, seeking attention and fame in the news, why didn't anyone in his life notice that he was about to snap? Why?

And how could this happen? How are we going to prevent it from happening again? How can we go on after such an insult on our sense of safety?

Can we feel safe anymore in this country? Should we stop flying on airplanes, shopping at malls, going to spas, going to church, and sending our kids to elementary/high school/college? If we live our lives in fear then terrorism wins. 'They' win. Evil dominates even more than it already does in this broken world. Don't get me wrong, I understand the sentiment of wrapping your children up in a bubble and never, ever letting them go. I get that because like millions of other mothers last night, I held my children more fiercely than ever before. I drank in their scents and swallowed a lump in my throat while praying to God for protection. For hope. For peace. For healing. These precious babies of mine are safe and I got to smother them in kisses when so many parents did not have that privilege last night. How? Why?

If faith and religion are not your thing, or it's too painful to think about how God could 'allow' something like this to happen, then you can skip this paragraph. But like most circumstances surrounded by pure evil and sin and undoubtedly Satan himself, I find myself going to God in prayer. Today I read a passage from my devotional app that was appropriately centered on hope and heaven.



I believe in heaven and hell. I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that those innocent children will know no more pain, sadness, or disappointment in this world as they run with the angels in heaven. And I also believe that this sinful world is only temporary. There is more to life than this. But at the same time, that doesn't make the reality of the present day any easier to accept. And it's hard to remain hopeful about the future when it seems our time here on earth becomes more muddled with sadness every day.

I can't even pretend to understand what the parents of those sweet children must be feeling right now. Attempting to wrap my head around their immense pain sends my brain into 'shut down' mode---it's just impossible to imagine their loss. Unopened Christmas presents. Folded clothes that will never be worn again. Favorite snacks never to be eaten. Empty car seats and toddler beds and empty hearts. Memories never to be had. Loss. Immense loss. And the children who survived--the trauma that they endured is also indescribable. My heart goes out to the entire community of Newtown because my brain absolutely cannot handle it.

Today I received an email from a reader who lives just 10 miles from Sandy Hook Elementary. Her name is Christy and her sister-in-law, Kelly, has a blog post with an idea for responding to this tragedy. Christy asked that I pass along her message of supporting change in gun control laws and mental health assistance. This is not a political blog (mentioning religion AND politics in one post is so unlike me!) but it's very obvious that something must be done by our government. Something. Anything. Kelly's idea is to send an extra Christmas card to local legislators requesting that they work hard at creating change, to better protect our children from gun violence. Making it personal with a Christmas card seems like a wonderful idea to me. I think it's natural to want to help in some way, to reach out and do something. To feel a sense of control. A sense of purpose. Although it will never make sense. We can still respond anyway we choose.

I look at Truman and Cecelia and I am angry that they are being raised in a time of such senseless violence. I simply cannot imagine what other types of tragedies their innocent eyes will see in their lifetime. I feel sick, enraged, and hopeless. I want to hold them forever and promise to do everything in my power to keep them safe. But I refuse to let evil steal the joy from my family. I will not let this shooter, and all of those that came before him, scare me away from enjoying this short life on earth. I choose to accept the new perspective that has dropped into my lap. Perspective seems to stop by every now and then, usually after a major catastrophe. Perspective on what is important and what is not. What incredible blessings we have despite the challenges. And how it could all be gone with a sick twist of the story.

I choose to search for hope in this sick world. Because evil may have won yesterday. But we owe it to ourselves and to the families in Newtown to gain perspective. Pray for peace and hope and change. And to hug our babies more than ever before.

Whether you are still in shock, if you are sad, or confused, or angry, or scared---no matter where you stand in this mess, I hope you can find the strength to smile today. It's the little things that matter most, after all.

A week in iPhone pictures/randomness

IPhone photo dump from the past week. It's the best way to show what we've been doing around here, even though it's pretty lazy blogging. Better than nothing, I suppose.

Look, sis. It's a train. Learn to love it. Last week on Tuesday 12.4.12




Grabby girl loves him so much.






I die over how angelic she looks asleep.


After the above nap. A little happy.


Wednesday 12.5.12--she eats! Entire post with way too much information coming soon.


Thursday morning, 12.6.12--he eats, too. Weirdo.


We went shopping at this fun local nursery and I was obsessed with their decor. Didn't find the gift we wanted but still had fun drooling over the decorations. Large red bows? YES.






And she eats. Shirtless.


I can't handle the rolls.


Friday morning, 12.7.12: grabbing again.




Saturday morning, 12.8.12--a long night last night, but she's still freaking adorable.


In her brother's old brown sweatshirt, a little shell shocked.






And this guy got a new tee shirt from Erin's Henry---he loves it even though he looks like a Henry wanna be to me!


Again with the angel faced napping.


Saturday night after baths. I mean, the jammies!








Sunday 12.9.12: she wears gray jeans (12 mo) and a new apple sweatshirt (12 mo) and I love it.


We were at our old duplex a bit that day and I felt very nostalgic for the many memories we had there. The upstairs is now vacant and my in-laws do not rent it out, but they have added some furniture. Truman loved this chair. I couldn't get over how sad I felt going back into his old bedroom where we brought him home as a newborn. And now look at him!


Also, we finally put the French doors back up in the sunroom. Never got around to painting them but whatever. It's nice to have them up!


Monday 12.10.12
I went a little nuts taking pictures before work because I was just SO proud of my girl for waking up just one time the night before!


After work, you should have heard them laughing at each other here.


After baths, discovered that this outfit I bought is actually a set of jammies. Love them anyway.




Tuesday 12.11.12
My hungry girl


Stinkers




Random ramblings to make this post even weirder:

-Another week closer to Christmas! My To Do list is ruling my life right now and I find myself wishing that I was like Bella and Edward in the final movie--never need to sleep so that when their kid went to bed, they'd just have an entire night of FREE TIME. Yes. I wouldn't spend my time like they did (those crazy kids) but I would totally knock out a million things on my list. Can't imagine!

-Truman slipped on his step stool getting onto the potty tonight and his entire left hand went into the toilet. I almost gagged and then I accidentally laughed at his misfortune. It was very upsetting to him and forcing him to wash his hands in the sink, with real soap and water and not just sanitizer, was an ordeal. But really? Kind of hilarious.

-Actually, I had a pretty rough night overall with my boy. He was testing my limits to the extreme from the second we walked in the door after daycare until he fell asleep. Everything was a freaking battle---turning off the TV after one Calliou episode, getting him to sit at the dinner table, getting him to eat dinner, making him wait for dessert until after a bath, taking a bath, etc. Everything was just hard and whiny and difficult. HATE evenings like this and after a long day at work, the last thing I feel like doing is disciplining my child over and over and over again. I had a beer and then some ice cream so everything is great now, but still.

-Best quote from Truman in the last week:
"I really love sugar, mommy."
No kidding, kid.

-Sleeping is still going well in this house! After I posted Cecelia had two amazing nights. On Monday night she only woke one time at 11:30, took a bottle and then slept until 5:30 am (when I was at the gym, after pumping). Then last night she slept from 7:00 until 4:15, nursed and then slept until 7:20! The 9 hours in a row is a freaking miracle, but so is sleeping past 7! Please let it continue, dear Lord. Everything in life is better with sleep. For real.