This is happening! {Hidden Baby Chronicles}

12/2/13: 8w6d

Appointment went well last week! I should have recapped it right away while it was fresh in my head but I was fighting off the urge to hurl most of the time. In the past two days I feel like a cloud has lifted and I'm less nauseous. It is amazing to feel semi-normal again. Amazing. I'm still tired but I didn't even 'need' a nap yesterday and I survived a busy day at work today without propping my eyelids open. Progress.

So the appointment was last Tuesday. I was nervous and excited all morning but also had a mammoth headache and very little patience for anything aside from breathing. So I was a real peach all morning, basically.

I took the kids to Lori's around noon, right after lunch, since she agreed to watch them for us during the appointment. This worked out nicely since it was basically during their naptime and would have been disaster to bring them both along with us for the 1:30pm appointment. I 'had' to tell Lori my big news earlier than I like to do but I knew she'd be happy to take the kids for a fun reason like this. Truman wasn't happy with me for interrupting his 'mommy day' with a nap at Loris, though. I kept telling him I had a doctor's appointment and would tell him more about it once I got back. He was still skeptical but did sleep pretty much the whole time, so all was well. Cecelia obviously had no clue what was happening and was just happy to get a nap anywhere at that point of the day.

I got to the appointment early and did some paperwork for my job in the car first, just to keep my mind occupied. I went in and did all of my labs (seven different vials of blood?! Don't remember that from the other times!) and then Nate texted me from work. He was running late, apparently, which you can imagine made me very happy:/

My OB has a brand new office building that is amazing, and when I had my annual appointment this past summer I was really hoping to see her again before my annual next year. So it was pretty sweet to be there again, much earlier than expected;) The nurse called me back right on time and Nate was still about 10 minutes away, so she assured me she would get him from the waiting room when he arrived. The ONE time he is late!!! Ugh.

We did the drill: weight, blood pressure, history questions. This time during the 'last menstrual period' part I had to laugh. I know I'm going to be asked this question a lot and every time I have to smile when I say 'over two years ago.' I guess I should say they can get the exact date from Cecelia's pregnancy history, because I literally never had a period since we were trying for her! The nurse thought this was pretty cool, I guess, saying how lucky I am to avoid the dreaded period for so long. I mean, I KNOW, but still---super worried at this point, since in my OB had said I should aim to have two full cycles before trying again. I guess that's to allow for a 'good bed' for a baby and healthy hormone levels, a strong uterine lining, etc. Anyway, the no period thing is cool and all but also really freaky for someone like me who was told it's better to be regular before trying.

I got changed into my gown and nearly had a panic attack waiting for Nate and the doc to arrive. He finally got there and once we could chat about our days, I felt a lot better and less like a crazy person. It's just too quiet in those rooms and I don't like to be left alone with my inner demons on a first appointment;)

My OB comes into the room (fairly late!) and just says 'YAY' and holds up three fingers as she hugs us both. Have I ever mentioned that she is amazing? Love her. We small talked a bit while my brain nearly exploded from the anxiety of the pending ultrasound. She wheeled in the machine, Nate came up towards my head and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze, and I held my breath. The computer screen was turned towards my OB and away from Nate and I at first so she could get a handle on what she saw. So basically I was scrutinizing every blink she took until she smiled and said the most beautiful words ever: "Heartbeat."

Thank you, God.

Next I asked her to please make sure there was only one baby in there, and she turned the screen towards us to see the little bean all curled up and looking very much like a tailed gummy bear. With a flicker of a heartbeat! She said I was exactly 8 weeks along with 'a good sized baby', which was GREAT news since I figured I was just a bit over 7 weeks. That extra week in the beginning of a pregnancy is a huge gift. Less time to feel horrible and anxious and less time to be in the first trimester. We all looked around at baby number three a bit more and it sort of started to sink in. Nate was smiling and I could tell it was feeling more real to him, too. I believed we exchanged a high-five although I wanted to jump up and down and yell 'WE ARE HAVING A BABY,' instead.



The rest of the appointment was a big blur of happy relief. She calculated my due date to be 7/8/14. She said she will see me in four more weeks which puts us right at Christmas Eve, coming out of the first tri at the most magical time of year. We each got a few more hugs, a printed off picture of our blob baby, and headed back home.

Pregnant. Officially pregnant with a baby who has a heartbeat. I know we aren't out of the woods just yet but this felt like an insurmountable hurdle considering my past rough first trimesters. Statistics don't mean a whole lot when you are on the 'bad' side of them, but knowing my miscarriage risk just dropped from the standard 20-25% down to 5% seeing this heartbeat makes me very happy. Very thankful and very stunned.

We are having a baby in July. It's really happening. Wow.