Aug 7: So Many Members

I've always said that being a part of the Miscarriage Club is something that none of us want, but all of us feel connected to each other through sharing such a devastating loss. Such a connection, because it's such an emotional time.

And since I posted about my miscarriage over two years ago, I have gotten more heartbreaking emails from blog readers who are going through the same thing than I've gotten for any other topic in the past. And in the past month alone, I have gotten five emails from readers saying they found comfort in my loss posts, thanking me for sharing because it helped them feel less alone. Five girls in the past month, you guys.

It's not fair. Miscarriage is everywhere and it is unbelievably common. I hate that so many readers have to endure the indescribable sadness that comes with losing a baby. But I'm glad that you feel comfortable emailing me to say, 'Hey, this sucks. But thanks for sharing your story.'

When I email these girls back I always try to be positive but also want to really respect their grief and the fact that they are walking in the valley at that very moment. It will get better. But until then, it just sucks so much.

I'm not really sure why I wanted to write this out tonight. Except that I realized if I have this many emails about miscarriage, I'm certain there are even more readers going through a loss who don't email me. And to all of you, I'm sorry. It gets better. But it still sucks right now.

I spent some time tonight reading my old posts on loss, grief, closure and then my horrible ER stay. I read about the cost of our loss and then I came to my favorite 'loss' post: on the other side. I want to go hug my sleeping babies right now, but I won't because sleep is quite the fiasco here lately again. (I wrote this last night and scheduled it to post for today---hope this isn't cheating with the 'daily blogging' thing. Update: whoops, I think I actually posted it tonight on Tuesday instead of Wednesday morning. So much for trying to schedule posts.)

I do not take my success story of having Cecelia for granted. And I pray that any of you going through a miscarriage get your baby soon. And hang in there. And drink wine. And get angry and write or talk it out. Because it won't feel like this forever.


  1. I've been reading through your archives and have yet to get to your story but I agree; it's a heartbreaking thing for women to go through. I've seen friends and family members have to process this loss and it sucks for lack of a better word.

    I'm sure it helps your readers that you share your story.

    Cari @

  2. ::applause:: As another member, and someone who found YOU through m/c support, I can relate to this entire post - even the emails from readers. I read a really great post recently on another blog and have been meaning to share it, it was beautiful. I'll send it to you.

    Big hugs momma. You're right, it sucks. It always will suck. Even after successfully having A, I'm still treating this pregnancy we've been blessed with as if it could be gone at any moment - which sucks. I wish I could be in that blissfully unaware camp. Big hugs to you and all the momma's to be struggling.

  3. After reading the previous comment, I completely agree. I hate that I can't be in the "blissfully unaware" camp as she put it so well. I hate that I worried (even if just a little bit) every single day of the 9 months I was pregnant with Zoe. And I hate that I know that the sinking feeling will stick with me for any future pregnancies we are blessed with.

  4. back to share!

  5. I am LOVING this everyday in August posting! You are my very favorite blogger so to hear from you each day makes MY day!!

    If you are looking for post ideas, would you consider the following:

    1. After your Day in the Life post I wondered on how earth you manage a consistent exercise routine. Are you able to go regularly? Morning or evening? Gym or at home? Do share!

    2. Before you had kids you shared some of your playlists. Loved that! What tunes are you loving on your ipod right now?

  6. I remember reading your loss posts before I experienced 2 losses of my own last year, and reading about the joy of Cecilia's birth following your loss came right after my second loss. At the time, I was in a dark place and felt like I might never get my happy ending, but just wanted to say that now over a year later, the pain is definitely better and I'm writing this as my one month old baby girl naps peacefully :)

  7. I love you, that is all. Straight, to the point and also full of compassion. Great post lady!


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