Movies can change your life:)

Over our Christmas visit, Mom and I indulged in some good girlie fun. While the boys viewed the classically masculine "I am Legend" movie, the girls enjoyed "P.S. I Love You" and everyone was happy with our split decision.

I should mention that I read the book awhile ago, and was a little nervous that the movie would fall short. I mean, come on....look at this book cover and tell me you don't want to to read it:
Now, I should also mention that I NEVER cry at movies. I didn't even cry at my own wedding [although my sensitive groom shed a few tears, as did most of the women in my family and a decent number of bridesmaids.] I suppose I have a cold heart or something. Well apparently this movie even touched my icy soul because I freaking sobbed---multiple times. Seriously, I cried on and off throughout the whole movie. It was THAT good:)
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, let me say that this movie made me look at life differently. First of all, it made me want to do everything possible with my husband now....instead of waiting until "someday." I decided to quit whining about how much I hate the cold and go skiing with my hubby, just like he's asked me to do so many times. It made me want to say, "Screw our finances, let's go on a pimp vacation." It made me want to live every day to it's fullest and never take anything for granted again. It also makes me want to return to Ireland so that I can meet some hotties like this. Who is this guy and why is he so adorable?
The second occurrence resulting from this movie was a nice little case of B.O.T.B. And for those non-knotties out there, that means Babies On The Brain. It made me want kids sooner than later, too. I blame it on the movie because Holly, the main character, didn't want to have kids until they owned a house and until they were financially stable [hello, those are my stipulations, too!] And let's just say that her grand plan didn't pan out and she regretted being such a rigid, overly planning wife.

I had a minor bout with B.O.T.B. right after the wedding. I successfully fought it off with some good old fashioned logic: it makes no sense for us to have kids right now. We are still renting and have no room for a kid, we are living off my salary alone, so if I went on maternity leave we'd be screwed, and then I'd HAVE to return to work full time [not sure I'm okay with that], and we don't have a decent emergency fund saved for a child and other issues. It obviously makes more sense to wait until we have two salaries [freaking 2011 !] and until we own a home. So basically, I would be thirty before we even start to think about kids [boo!]

Logic says this is NOT the time, but the other part of me can't wait to be a mom. I'm a natural caregiver [considering my career choice], I think I'd be a really good mom, and I'm just the type of person who focuses on the next "goal" in life. Meaning, in my head, our next step in married life would be buying a house and having kids. It's very difficult for me to "just be" without constantly striving towards the next step.

Nate and I discussed this topic at length during our eight hour car rides recently. I feel like our final decision is a bit personal to discuss on this blog but I will say that we've met in the middle with this one, and have compromised so that we are both comfortable with our new time line. We don't necessarily have to wait until after 2011 but we agree that it wouldn't be smart to have a kid right now, either. I feel significantly better about this whole situation now that we have a realistic time frame----which feeds into my anal retentiveness regarding schedules, time lines, and goals. I'll never be one to "just live" without a vague game plan for the future---I think I'm too Type A!

Oh and another reason why I'm not 100% ready to have children? Look at the following picture. Do you notice any abnormally large babies compared to the rest? How about the second baby from the left?
That little monster is Nate! He was 10 pounds at birth and had a gigantic head. I mean, just look at how he puts the other tiny tots to shame. That head. That gut. That blue jumpsuit.

I think I'm doomed:) Sorry this is so long. I guess I had to get that off of my chest. Any comments are welcome on this topic. Anyone else struggling with this major life decision? Advice from moms?


  1. I obviously have no advice in this area (and with where I am in my life right now, thank GOD!) Anyway, I think you should do what is best for you and Nate, and it sounds like you had a good discussion. Give me a call if you want to chat more!

  2. I don't think you can ever have a set baby timeline, that is one of those things that you can only control so much. There is no need to rush into having a baby b/c once you are a mom you'll be a mom the rest of your life so enjoy the freedom you have now! Easier said then done, I know. However, you also don't want to put it off for this reason or that b/c there will always be a reason to wait. You and Nate just have to make the decision of when you are more ready than not, which sounds like you have already discussed. Babies are exciting and I can't wait until we all start having them... but remember once you have one everything changes! I'm sure a big message that movie sent was enjoy the moment, so just enjoy what you have right now because in five years you will probably miss these days.

  3. VERY well said, Hannah. You are totally right---the message was to enjoy the moment. And I need to live in the present more often than focusing on the future. It's good to hear from you girls, love the advice so far!

  4. I agree with what Hannah said.
    I did not get married until much older than you (36), so my husband and I did not have much of a choice, but to go for it right away. :) You are still very young and, God willing, you have plenty of time to enjoy just being the two of you. Having a baby is so rewarding, and it also requires a huge commitment of time and love. I don't know you, but from what I have read, I can see the love part will be no problem for you. The timing right now may not be optimal. I completely agree with living in and appreciating the present...once a baby comes, your lives will never be the same (I mean that in a positive way).

  5. I have no baby advice, so I guess ditto what Hannah said - it sounded very wise. Plus, you have to wait until you move back to StL because your baby needs to know his or her Fab Five aunts! :o)

    BUT... can I just say that I cried during P.S. I love you also?!?! We're talking runny nose, hiccupping, full-on sobbing. Oh and I also saw "I Am Legend" and it was badass. (Mark and I compromised and saw both - we've been movie watching fools lately.)

  6. Sounds like one of those intense car rides...we have those on our drives to/from Texas. Glad you and Nate found a comfortable compromise for now. Your decision is always allowed to change, but at least right now you're thinking clearly rather than with your uterus :)

    Happy New Year!

  7. I totally feel for you! Rob says "at least 5 years." I say "at most 5 years" till kids. We're still discussing this... I can't wait to be a mom. It's been my life-long dream as long as I can remember. I agree with Hannah too, I'll never be fully READY, but when it's time, we'll both know. A baby truly does change EVERYTHING. It's nice to have a little reminder to make sure you are living life to the fullest, it's easy to forget!

    That said, Rob was almost 11 pounds when he was born (to his poor 5'2" mom), we're both doomed...

  8. By the way, thanks for the suggestions for the printing!

  9. Oh dear! After seeing that baby picture of your husband, it looks like you will be pushing for at least 8 hours when the time comes!! lol. I got preggers 6 months after our wedding! That was 12 fabulous years ago and I wouldn't change a thing- good luck to you, I'll be reading to see any new "transitions"!~xo

  10. Julia-
    I loved the novel so much!! I thought it was so beautifully written and captivating. I was nervous about the film, but felt, although it was different that the novel, it still had the same sentiment. I too cried my eyes out...I loved the part where she goes to his fort in Ireland and instead of saying, "p.s. I love you" he rests his head on her shoulder...I'm crying again. Ok.So good! I will buy it for sure and watch it every night.
    Have a child is one of the most beautiful gifts you will ever be given, but so are sweet moments with your best friend. Live today; tomorrow will take care of itself. ;) Jaren and I waited a long time to have kids and we were glad. (We only have one, and your friends are right: things change.) It was nice having that time to really establish us as a couple. You will know for sure when the time is perfectly right to add on to your family. ;)
    Until enjoy going to movies without having to find a babysitter!
    p.s. I saw I am Lengend too...totally different genre, but coming from a movie buff- it was pretty interesting. Snaps to Will Smith for pulling a Tom Hanks in Castaway; he practially pulled the movie off by himself! Out of the two though- my vote for sure goes to the HOT IRISH!! ;)


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