Team BLUE!

We're having a baby boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tech said he never gives more than a 99% chance, but this was a 99.99% chance of all boy:)


His little feet are beyond perfect:


He decided to show us some somersaults during his hour long show:


Although he really didn't want to show us his profile, I can still tell it's adorable:




And by the end, he had both hands up by his face just like a little boxer. Maybe he's been punching me and not kicking me, after all!


I find it hard to put into words how incredibly happy we are right now. Not just because both Nate and I had gut instincts about us having a son (and the Chinese gender chart and every other predictor out there). But because we got to see our son moving around, beating heart, stretching out, and being....well, so perfectly beautiful that I still can't wipe the smile off my face.

Before the tech told us the gender, I thought I saw a little wiener poking out and glanced over at Nate....who gave me the same knowing look. And then all of a sudden the tech goes, 'And that doesn't look like the cord anymore.' After searching around a little more he said, 'Yep, that is a baby boy if I've ever seen one.' Seeing Nate's face light up, sporting a grin from ear to ear, and hearing him let out a little giggle was one of the best moments I've experienced so far. He's already talking about a miniature Tiger Woods, and coaching little league and.....you guys, he's going to be such a great dad. And now the testosterone levels in our house just got even more out of control! Nate, Henry, baby boy and little old me...holding down the Estrogen fort alone. I think I love it.

Our son (eeek!!) weighs 13 ounces at this point, which is 58%th percentile. His head and heart and spine and cord and lungs all look fabulous (although the tech wasn't really supposed to say either way). My placenta isn't too low, my bladder was insanely full as instructed (I almost peed myself, for real), and I have a real live healthy baby boy in there. It's sinking in and I'm totally in love.

So that is all for now. I'm off to look at the 25 pictures we got of our baby. I'm going to be a mommy, you guys! This is one of the best days ever.

Twenty Weeks

Holla at your girl. I'm halfway done, baby! Five months pregnant, 20 weeks, and housing one of these giant fruits:


A cantaloupe, really? Wasn't it just a blueberry yesterday? I can just imagine a round cantaloupe in there, can't you? {Also, please note my giant boobs. Out. Of. Control}





Big freaking milestone this week? We're going to see the little nugget's goodies on Wednesday! I really hope he or she is feeling like an exhibitionist and spreads 'em wide open for us to get a peek, but I guess we shall see. I also have a regular OB appointment on Tuesday, where I will get weighed. Since I do not own a scale {nor do I ever plan to own one, since it makes me a crazy loon thinking way too much about the number}, it should be interesting to see what is in store for me. Let's remember I had gained a total of 6 pounds at my 16 week appointment. And lately, my butt feels like a giant squishy pad of tissue. Big. And dare I say it, FAT.

I believe that any pregnant woman gets about 3 free passes throughout her pregnancy to complain about feeling fat. So I'm NOT going to use one of my freebies in this post but OMG...I am never wearing those black Nike pants for another belly shot again. My arse looks like a giant flat reflective elephant butt. I'm hoping it's just the pants combined with the flash and the shadows, but disgusting! Also, if I have gained more than 15 pounds total I am COMPLETELY blaming Nate. You see, he's practically force feeding his pregnant wife in the name of making his baby healthy. I'm all, 'I'm full' and he's all 'Have another cookie, dear.' I'm like a force-fed cow, and it's all his fault. Rant over, I still get three more freebies, my dears.....no eye rolling from you!

Other bits of awesomeness this week? On Friday night I was sitting at this very computer when baby started kicking up a storm. I put my hand on my belly like always, and discovered that it was strong enough to feel from the outside. We had a few false alarms before, when I got all excited and ran over to Nate to make him feel but then the baby was all shy and shaken up from my sudden movement. So this time I slowly sauntered over to Nate and made him gently feel my tummy. Sure enough, he felt the kick nice and strong! He felt his child moving inside of me, you guys. How freaking cool is that?

Even cooler? The next morning, on Saturday, as baby went to town again, I pulled up my shirt and SAW my stomach move. I called Nate to come over and sure enough, he saw it too. So we went from no external movement to both seeing and feeling it. How insane is that?


Other way cool things I accomplished this week? PURCHASES! I finally sucked it up and shopped for some real maternity clothes. Mostly because of my giant elephant butt and the fact that my tummy makes shirts creep up to places they shouldn't go. I hit up Old Navy for these babies:


And some work pants. Come on, these are so HAWT, aren't they? They came in talls and I figured even if the enormous panel is too much right now I'll probably need it in a few weeks?

And these fabulous gray leggings from maternity Gap. These were the most expensive piece, of course, but don't they look SO comfy?
And after scouring Craigslist every freaking day for at least a month, I finally found our dresser/changing table combo. It's all the way up in Madison, so we have to drive up there and get it Friday morning before I fly to St. Louis which sort of sucks. BUT, just look at the potential here!
It was custom made from real wood, no nasty particle board, 15 years ago. I plan on repainting the white and replacing the knobs with some pimped out ones. That strap on top will be perfect for a new printed changing pad. PROJECT! Another freaking project and another awesome nursery find on Craigslist for a whopping $75. I'm starting to get addicted, my friends. Next up? The rocker. I'm totally stalking C-list every day like a crazy but I can't help it.

So yeah, on Friday I'm flying down to St. Louis to throw Hannah's baby shower and I cannot wait. My mom is picking me up from the airport and we are going to pull everything together before the big event on Saturday. Let me just tell you, planning a baby shower for your best friend when you live hundreds of miles away ain't easy. But I'm feeling pretty good about how it's all coming together thanks to the help of some other lovely STL ladies. And dude, baby showers are JUST as fun to plan as bridal showers, if not more fun. Lots of pictures to follow, I'm sure.

Enough about me, what about that cantaloupe in my gut? Well this week baby is starting to form poop. Yep, you read that right. Meconium is forming in his or her tummy to get ready for that awesomely disgusting first baby poop. Also the genitals are fully formed and ready for our viewing. I know I complained about waiting until 20.5 weeks for our big US but it really wasn't that awful to wait. And plus, baby is moving around like a fetus on acid nowadays so I guess it's better that we waited a bit.

So that's 20 weeks: halfway mark, an elephant butt, external movement, maternity clothes, and a new Craigslist purchase. And lots of anticipation for Wednesday!

Organizing this pregnancy blog

All things pregnancy, in case navigating labels is too time consuming for you:)

TRUMAN'S pregnancy: 
BFP on 7.7.09, due 3.14.10, born at 38 weeks on 3.1.10


weekly posts...
The Big Fat Announcement: 08.17.09
Four Weeks: 08.18.09
Five Weeks: 08.24.09
Six Weeks: 08.25.09
Seven Weeks: 08.26.09
Eight Weeks: 08.27.09
Nine Weeks: 08.28.09
Ten, Eleven, Twelve Weeks: 08.31.09

Thirteen Weeks: 09.07.09
Fourteen Weeks: 09.14.09
Fifteen Weeks: 09.21.09
Sixteen Weeks: 09.28.09
Seventeen Weeks: 10.05.09
Eighteen Weeks: 10.12.09
Nineteen Weeks: 10.19.09
Twenty Weeks: 10.26.09
Twenty-One Weeks: 11.02.09
Twenty-Two Weeks: 11.09.09
Twenty-Three Weeks: 11.16.09

Twenty-Four Weeks: 11.23.09
Twenty-Five Weeks: 11.30.09
Twenty-Six Weeks: 12.7.09
Twenty-Seven weeks: 12.14.09

Twenty-Eight Weeks: 12.21.09

Twenty-Nine Weeks: 12.28.09
Thirty Weeks: 1.4.10
Thirty-One Weeks: 1.11.10
Thirty-Two Weeks: 1.18.10
Thirty-Three Weeks: 1.25.10
Thirty-Four Weeks: 2.1.10
Thirty-Five Weeks: 2.8.10
Thirty-Six Weeks: 2.13.10
Thirty-Seven Weeks: 2.22.10

Birth Story in words
Birth Story in pictures

Blood pressure issues lead to an induction at 38 weeks. The posts...
uh-oh: 2.2.10
ode to bedrest: 2.3.10
ups and downs: 2.9.10
updates: 2.18.10
bedrest: 2.25.10
freaking out: 2.26.10
hospital fun: 2.28.10

mom bod, post-baby...
one week postpartum: 3.10.10
two weeks postpartum: 3.16.10
eleven months postpartum: 1.27.11


Belly shots from my first pregnancy:

my maternity pictures: 2.11.10



First pregnancy time line and milestones:

07.06.09: got my BFP! Second month of 'trying, but not labeling it TRYING'. That was quicker than we expected! Due 03.14.10.

07.17.09: almost six weeks, told our parents and my grandparents the big news. First grandchild on both sides equals lots of squealing.

08.10.09: first appointment, at nine weeks, with transvaginal ultrasound. Saw the ticker! Could breathe again.

08.11.09: started telling close friends and other family. Letting it all sink in...

08.17.09: ten weeks, started telling the whole wide world including this blog, facebook, and work.

09.01.09: twelve week appointment, with doppler. Heard the ticker ticking away at 160 bpm! Total weight gained = 1 pound.

09.20.09: fifteen weeks, felt the first baby movement! Lots of jabs and flutters.

09.29.09: sixteen week appointment, heard the heartbeat again, this time at 145 bpm. Total weight gained = 6 pounds.

10.09.09: almost nineteen weeks, started wearing a Bella Band for my snug-fitting pants. Still no full-fledged maternity pants yet, but getting close!

10.23.09: almost twenty weeks, Nate was able to feel the baby kick for the first time. The next morning we both saw my belly move, too. Whoo hoo!

10.27.09: twenty week appointment, heard heartbeat at 153 bpm. Total weight gained=13 pounds. Gulp.

10.28.09: big ultrasound and IT'S A BOY! Weighing at 13 ounces and moving around like crazy, our son spread 'em wide open for us to see his gender. Nate has never been so happy.

11.24.09: twenty-four week appointment, heartbeat at 138 bpm. Total weight gained=18 pounds. And this is the first week someone flat out asked me 'Are you pregnant?' without already knowing the answer! Must be those maternity tops that I'm obsessed with now:)

12.21.09: twenty-eight week appointment, didn't ask about heart rate because was focused on the scale number. Total weight gained=25 pounds, so I guess I'm right on track for my OB's goal of 40 pounds total. At least I'm still running 3 days a week I suppose.

2.2.10: thirty-four week appointment, and all of a sudden I have high blood pressure. Ruh-roh! Lots of testing, a few days of bedrest, and bi-weekly appointments to watch everything closely.

2.8.10: thirty-five weeks: maternity pics and more doctors appointments, but still working full time tentatively!

2.22.10: thirty-seven weeks: full term, baby! Not dilated at all, but labs are still good and BP is stable so I'm still working full time and napping like a champ. Lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions and The Waddle has begun, too. This is what the end feels like!

2.25.10: Doc put me on bedrest officially since my BP is now up a bit, I gained 5 pounds in 3 days, and have a little headache. Maternity leave starts early!

2.26.10: And now my urine lab came back positive so I officially have Pre-Eclampsia. Going to check into the hospital tomorrow and be induced right at 38 weeks. Baby boy better be ready!



Truman's nursery:

paint color 'Rushing Stream' by Behr

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Second pregnancy: a missed miscarriage discovered at 9 weeks on ultrasound, baby Wren stopped growing at 6 weeks. BFP on 3.24.11. Due 11.29.11. D&C on 6.13.11. We'll never forget our little November bird that flew away too soon.

05.02.11 Loss
05.04.11 Grief
05.11.11 Closure
06.02.11 Complications
06.10.11 Whining
08.31.11 Cost of a Loss



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Third pregnancy, here comes Cecelia: BFP on 9.17.11, due on 5.29.12, born at 39w5d on 5.28.12. Pregnant after a loss!

The announcement: 11.29.11
Dirty Details: 11.30.11
First Trimester weeks 4 through 11: 12.1.11

12 weeks, the lime: 11.16.11
13 weeks, the plum: 11.23.11
14 weeks, the lemon: 11.30.11
15 weeks, the orange: 12.7.11
16 weeks, the avocado: 12.14.11
17 weeks, the onion: 12.21.11
18 weeks, the bell pepper: 12.28.11
19 weeks, the grapefruit: 1.4.12
20 weeks, the banana: 1.11.12
Big Gender Reveal: 1.15.12
21 weeks, the carrot: 1.18.12
22 weeks, the spaghetti squash: 1.25.12
23 weeks, the pomegranate: 2.1.12
24 weeks, the eggplant: 2.8.12
25 weeks, the rutabaga: 2.15.12
26 weeks, the cucumber: 2.22.12

27 weeks, the Chinese cabbage: 2.29.12
28 weeks, the cauliflower: 3.7.12
29 weeks, the butternut squash: 3.14.12
30 weeks, the basketball fruit: 3.21.12
31 weeks, the four oranges: 3.28.12
32 weeks, the jicama: 4.4.12
33 weeks, the pineapple: 4.11.12
34 weeks, the cantaloupe: 4.18.12
35 weeks, the honeydew melon: 4.25.12
36 weeks, the coconut: 5.2.12
37 weeks, the green leaf lettuce: 5.9.12
38 weeks, the watermelon: 5.16.12
39 weeks, the gallon of milk: 5.23.12

Birth Story in words
Birth Story in pictures

Post-partum recovery, round two

Belly pictures for third pregnancy: our little fruit baby!



Timeline for third pregnancy:

3w3d: BFP!! Earliest test ever, at just 11 DPO

4w2d: questionable progesterone. Good HCG. Brown spotting. UGH.

5w5d: started gushing bright red blood. Baby found on US, heartbeat seen. Large SCH found as well, 4cm x 2cm. It's easily 3 times the size of baby's sac.

6w1d: Baby still ticking away, bleed stable at 5cm. MD feels optimistic! Weekly US to watch the bleed fade and baby grow. Some brown spotting after each US.

9w1d: got home doppler, found baby's heartbeat within minutes. Whew! In 170s range.

10w2d: another great OB appointment, HB 178 at the office, and US showed a moving baby! Very big sigh of relief at this point. A bump is starting to appear. Starting to tell more friends and family, all will know the news by 12 weeks (told at 8 weeks with Truman's pg). Weight gain: 2 pounds.

12w0d: first hints of baby kicks, super early but amazing!! (felt these at 14 weeks with Truman's pg)

13w6d: Told the internet. Passed Wren's EDD. HB in the 140s-150s. Weight gain: 3 pounds.

15w0d: Trying out the Bella Band to fit the giant belly (was at 19 weeks with Truman's pg)

16w0d: Felt baby move from the outside today. Officially in my maternity clothes! (was at 20 and 24 weeks respectively for Truman's pregnancy)

18w0d: Daily, big kicks from this little baby. Clean Quad screen. Undeniable bump. Weight gain: 8 pounds (basically same as Truman's pg)

18w4d: Nate feels baby kick from outside! (was at 20w with Truman's pg)

19w0d: A stranger commented on my belly and told me 'congratualtions!' (not until 24 weeks with Truman)

20w1d: big anatomy scan! It's a HEALTHY baby GIRL!!! Measuring in the 70th percentile for her growth.

26w0d: passed glucose screen, up 20 pounds from my starting weight, which shows baby girl is having a huge growth spurt and so is her mommy.

34w0d: blood pressure is still good! Holla! Only up 29 pounds at this point too, which is a lot better than when I was at 36 pounds with Truman's pregnancy. Baby girl is head down and I'm getting a lot of strong, timeable BH contractions already. Cannot believe I might get to skip an induction this time.

37w5d: growth ultrasound, because baby was suddenly measuring smaller at 37w appointment after always measuring perfectly. Baby surprised us with an estimated 7lbs 10oz for weight already, landing in the 70th percentile again.

39w5d: Cecelia is born! Total weight gained this time 34 pounds, was 43 pounds with Truman.

Cecelia's Nursery:














Paint color: Behr's Wildwood Spring. See nursery reveal post here for more details.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fourth Pregnancy: here comes Porter!

BFP on 11.5.13 (surprise!), due date 7.8.14, born on 40w3d on 7.11.14

The announcement: 12.17.13
Details: 12.18.13
Surreal: 12.19.13
First appointment jitters: 12.20.13
This is happening!: 12.21.13
Truman's take on becoming a big brother again: 12.23.13

10 weeks: 12.10.13
11 & 12 weeks: 12.24.13

13 weeks: 12.31.13
14 weeks: 1.17.14
15 weeks: 1.14.14
16 weeks: 1.21.14
17 weeks: 1.28.14
18 weeks: 2.4.14
19 weeks: 2.11.14
20 weeks: 2.18.14
Baby 3: Pink or Blue?
21 weeks: 2.25.14
22 weeks: 3.4.14
23 weeks: 3.11.14
24 weeks: 3.18.14
25 weeks: 3.25.14
26 weeks: 4.1.14

27 weeks: 4.8.14
28 weeks: 4.15.14
29 weeks: 4.22.14
30 weeks: 4.29.14
31 weeks: 5.6.14
32 weeks: 5.13.14
33 weeks: 5.20.14
34 weeks: 5.27.14
35 weeks: 6.3.14
36 weeks: 6.10.14
37 weeks: 6.17.14
38 weeks: 6.24.14
39 weeks: 7.1.14
40 weeks: 7.7.14

Due Date!
Overdue!
40+2: Last Pregnancy Post

Birth Story
Post-partum, round three: one week


Belly Pictures for my last pregnancy:



Timeline for my last pregnancy:

5w0d: BFP, holy crap. I just stopped breastfeeding last month and haven't had a single period since before Cecelia. No clue how far along I am, but that is an AWFULLY dark line.

8w0d: First appointment, all is well and we see a real baby with a heartbeat on ultrasound!  I found out I'm due 7.8.14. Feeling generally miserable and the sickest I've ever been with pregnancy.

9w0d: Doppler success at home! Heartbeat 188 bpm and the sweetest sound I've heard.

11w0d: Told the internets since I feel huge and ready to embrace this pregnancy, feeling more energetic and less sick. HR 170s.

13w0d: Baby taps! Will never forget how amazing this is. Bump is out of control, pull some maternity clothes from the attic. HR about 155 bpm now.

16w2d: Felt baby from the outside! HR 145-150 bpm now.

19w4d: A stranger finally noticed my bump and commented! About time. No longer using the Doppler at home, feeling baby move a TON for reassurance.

20w0d: Big ultrasound and it's a healthy BOY!!! A very proud little boy. Amazing day in general.

20w2d: Nate finally feels baby boy kicking. We decide on a name shortly after. I'm up 11 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight which feels like an accomplishment considering my raging appetite.

29w0d: Okay, I'm feeling it lately. Baby boy is incredibly active and I'm tired, but still loving pregnancy as a whole! Up 22 pounds which is right where I was with Cecelia's pregnancy.

35w0d: Lots of contractions, some timeable. Walking pneumonia (second round of antibiotics this pregnancy, since I had strep throat a few months ago), up 27 pounds, and eagerly counting down the days until we meet this boy! Everyone thinks my bump is incredibly small. I do not feel small. I feel tired and like this child is my most active yet.

37w2d: 1 cm dilated (never before labor!), 50% effaced, up 30 pounds, baby is head down, and mama is hitting the wall. He feels like a bowling ball between my legs and I think this belly has dropped. Any day now. 

39w2d: 2 cm dilated, up 31 pounds, still not in labor. Hmmmm. Cannot believe he hasn't come yet but glad he is comfy in there (I guess). Finished with work yesterday, so maternity leave has officially begun. Nate is off work all of next week and my parents fly in to see the baby soon....so he better come. Will induce at 40w3d if he doesn't choose another birthday before then. Come on baby!

40w3d: Labor began at home a few hours before induction. Porter is born at 12:12pm!


His Nursery:






-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fifth Pregnancy: No Really, This Is the Last One!
BFP on 10.28.16 (biggest surprise!), due 7.8.17

Baby Number Four | What's One More?
Everything New is Fine
The Negatives
Emotional Rollercoaster
Relief, Part One
Relief, Part Two
10 weeks
11 weeks
12+13 weeks
14 weeks

15 weeks
16 weeks
17 weeks
18 weeks
19 weeks
20 weeks
21 weeks
22 weeks
23 weeks
24 weeks
25 weeks
26 weeks

27 weeks
28 weeks + 29 weeks
30 weeks
31 weeks + 32 weeks
33 weeks
34 weeks
35 weeks
36 weeks
37 weeks
38 weeks
39 weeks

Birth story part one
Birth story part two
Birth story part three

Timeline for my LAST last pregnancy:

3w6d: BFP. Um, what? This was not in our plan and we now know that day nine in my cycle is a fertile time. WOAH.

5w3d: Lots and lots of red blood, just like Cecelia's pregnancy. Sure that this is a miscarriage, we try not to get too sad until we have some answers. This baby may not have been planned but it is oh, so wanted right now.

6w5d: Ultrasound shows a baby with a heartbeat (126 bpm), measuring perfectly. Also another huge SCH, like with our girl. But the heartbeat and tiny baby are the best sights ever.

8w5d: Follow up ultrasound shows a bigger baby and a smaller bleed (1.9cm). We even saw our little gummy bear move on the screen, heart rate was 168. Feeling positive!

9w3d: Dug out my home doppler, found the heartbeat at home at 178 bpm. There is no better sound in the world! Feeling pretty miserable this first trimester, exhausted and pukey but par for the course.

12w1d: Finally tell our children the news. Truman jumps up and down, Cecelia just stares at me, and Porter hits me and says, 'No, not funny.'

13w3d: Told the world on the internet! I think I'm feeling baby taps and I'm absolutely showing this fourth time around. Doppler checks show heartbeat is in the 155-160 range. Up two pounds. Maternity pants feel oh, so good but still look pretty ridiculous.

15w2d: Definitely feeling baby taps, and even felt this little person kick me from the outside. I forgot how amazing it is to feel baby moving in there.

18w2d: Truman felt baby kicking! Magical moment, as T is this baby's biggest fan. Also had a negative quad screen last week. Whoo hoo!

19w5d: It's a boy, and a healthy baby on that ultrasound screen. Thank you, Lord! I'm up seven pounds, Cecelia and Nate have both felt the baby kicking, and a stranger noticed my bump for the first time.

26w6d: Failed my one hour glucose test, passed the horrible three hour test, up 19 pounds, but feeling good overall. We are finally 99% set on a name, too.

37w0d: Doing really well! Becoming quite obsessed with Hypnobabies and having a peaceful, calm birth this time. Up 30 pounds, am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced, some Braxton Hicks contractions but nothing too awful. I sort of feel 'too good' and think I might be overdue again but we will see.

39w6d: OB appointment proves I'm 3cm dilated, 75% effaced, up 34 pounds, and it was my last day of work today! I have an induction set for next week but I truly don't think I'll need it.

40w0d: my water broke at 4am! Wallace arrived later that day.




Project Posts:
How I applied my wall decals
How I repainted a dresser and refinished a wooden bench
Shelves and Prints
How I repainted the crib yellow
Nursery Reveal
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Neuroses

I suppose I've always been somewhat of a worrier. But seriously, being pregnant has brought out the freaking CRAZY side of me to the point that I annoy myself with my worries. When I start off any sentence with 'What if....' or 'I'm worried that.....' Nate immediately says, 'Oh here we go again, what is the worry of the hour?' And you know what? He's right. I have enough worries to freaking fill up the ocean. Some are so stupid and embarrassing that I almost want to laugh at myself. Some are probably very normal. And some are bordering on the over-dramatic.

I was contemplating my bundle of worries the other day and decided that since making lists makes me feel better, I should totally write out a 'quick list' of my current worries regarding this baby. Now please don't get me wrong... I would not trade this pregnancy for the world and I swear I'm enjoying it to the max. I really have surprised myself and love being pregnant (so far, at least). I would take a million more worries in exchange for the end result. It's totally worth it, my friends. I know how lucky I am to be here so please don't think I'm ungrateful.

HOWEVER, please read my 'quick' list below and tell me I'm not crazy. I could add to this puppy all night but I must stop here for now. Enjoy yourself!



About the baby....
1. Are you sure it doesn't have two heads? Anything else not completely normal I should know about?

2. I know everything I read says it is probably fine since it was before the baby got nutrients from me, but did those alcoholic bevs I consumed before my BFP really not matter?

3. What if the baby has colic....will I lose my mind?

4. OMG, are you SURE there is only one in there? Because the other night I swore I felt two simultaneous kicks on opposite sides of my stomach.

5. Please, God . Let me get one that sleeps at least a little bit of the time.

6. How many dirty diapers do newborns produce per day again? FRIGHTENING.

7. Babies need a lot of paraphernalia. How in the heck am I supposed to know what to choose when I've never done this before? So overwhelming. Also, where in the heck am I supposed to store all of this crap? You know I hate hoarding and clutter.



The financials
1.CAN WE AFFORD THIS? (my head is exploding right now)

2. Will we blow our nice future 'down payment' nest egg on the baby?

3. Dude, if I'm neurotic about money now when we DON'T pay for daycare, how will I remain sane afterward?

4. Will I drive Nate completely insane with my financial (and every other) worries?




The Stupid Superficial:
1. Will my hips spread permanently after pushing a bowling ball through my pelvis? If so, will I never fit into my skinny jeans again?

2. Stretch marks?!?!

3. Please God, do not let my face balloon up like a swollen sausage. I just hate when my face is fat (ie every picture from my semester spent in Spain)

4. Will I ever be able to run at a decent pace again? Will I ever have time to train for my second full marathon?

5. Dude, my boobs were small to begin with. Is it true they become like flat pancakes after pregnancy and nursing? Because I'm totally screwed, then.

6. Will I automatically become that haggard mom who neglects herself? As in mom jeans, horrible hair, and bad skin? I don't want to be that mom but I'm afraid it happens without warning.




The (tip of the iceberg) parenting concerns:
1. Will I be a good mother?

2. Will my child resent me later in life? How bad will it suck to raise a teenager, anyway? I think it was pretty rough BEING one, let alone being responsible for one.

3. Will we totally screw the kid up to the point of no return?

4. What if Nate and I let our marriage slip to the wayside as we focus on being parents? I love our marriage right now and sometimes I don't want it to change.

5. Will we also let our social lives die, lose touch with all of our friends and hobbies, just to be parents? No!!! I no likey.



Post-Partum worries
1. Will I get Post-Partum Depression? (It does run in my family)

2. Will my 12 week maternity leave go WAY too fast, and will I spend the whole time worrying about it going WAY too fast?

3. How bad is it going to suck to drop my newborn off at a daycare full of strangers....full time....while dropping mad cash in this facility? Will it be too much to handle?

4. How bad is it going to suck to work full time, always thinking about my newborn baby while I'm away? Will I be a jealous wench of anyone NOT in my position? Will I shut myself off from anyone who doesn't have to work full time and put their kids in daycare?

5. Will Nate be too stressed with taking finals and being in school to enjoy being a parent in those first few months?

6. Will it be too hard to be 8 hours away from my Mom?



That whole delivery thing....
1. Dear God, I have no idea what's coming to me, do I?

2. What if I push for a whole year and nothing happens? Has that ever happened in the history of mankind?

3. What if my entire lower half of my body tears into two pieces. Is that possible?

4. Pooping on the table sounds like fun...or totally awful.

5. I know it's really really rare, but what if I die during the delivery?

6. What if my baby has a prolapsed cord/other issues and doesn't make it through delivery?

7. How bad is recovery going to blow?

8. Won't it ruin our mattress if my water breaks in our bed? (Mattresses are too expensive to ruin one with disgusting internal fluids!)



The completely, utterly, ridiculous
1. What if our baby is a hermaphrodite (this is probably just on my list because I'm reading the book Middlesex right now)?

2. What if I let the house cleaning go to the wayside so badly that massive amounts of dust accumulate and it makes our whole family fatally ill? Is that possible?

3. How in the heck will I have time to hand wash our stupid dishes with a baby? Will our entire kitchen become unusable due to dirty dishes? I SO want a dishwasher more than ever. Or maybe just disposable plates will do...

4. Will we forget about our first born baby, Henry? Will he hate us forever for having a baby?

5. What if we get a Milwaukee blizzard on the day I deliver and then we can't make it to the hospital in time and the baby is born in the back seat of the car? I will be SO pissed at Mother Nature then....you have no idea.


See? I told you it was a lot of worries.

As my mom told me during the first few weeks of my pregnancy, the worrying never really goes away. That is just a part of being a parent. Heck, my parents probably still worry about me {and maybe after reading that list they are rightfully worried about my mental health? :) } and I'm 28 years old. So I guess it makes sense that from the moment of seeing that positive pregnancy test, you become a mom and start with the worries.

Just getting them out in words makes me feel better already. Whew.

And I hope I'm not the only one with neuroses like these. Whether you are a mom, pregnant, or not there yet....perhaps all women have some of these same concerns? (I hope).

Apples indeed

On Sunday, Nate and I went to pick apples at the same orchard we visited last year. In fact, I think this was the same weekend we chose to go as last year. Funny thing, though: this year I have a pimped out camera and 10 months of experience with it. Also, instead of ME just coming off my first marathon, it's Nate. And also, I'm with child, in case you didn't know:) So much changes in a year, right?

This year we weren't so into the pumpkins but we totally owned the apples. Nate had to coax me into moving a bit faster since everything was distracting me and my camera. But it was worth it!


















The best part of the trip (besides getting a butt load of apples for $16, fresh honey, and a jug of spiced apple cider?). This:







I love fall.

I still want to get some pretty leaf pictures and we were going to do it after this trip, but alas---the leaves weren't QUITE as bright as I'd hoped. We shall see. I'm sure it has something to do with the abnormally chilly weather for this time of year. Whatever.

Nineteen Weeks

Two things this week's fruit reminds me of: 1. The hilarious SNL skit with Mango (Mahhhhngo), and 2. The most awesome clothing store I visited in Spain, besides Zara:


I can almost see a little mango in there, can't you?



Meh. Still not TRULY looking pregnant. But dang, all of a sudden I have the lower back sway I swore I'd avoid, don't I?

So what's new this week in the pregnancy front? Let's see...my uterus (from here on to be called the 'ute') is big. I mean, seriously, when I lay down flat it pops out a bit. In between my two hip bones used to be a land of nothingness, sinking downward, empty. And now? A little mound of hardened ute muscles. Weird, huh? And plus, when I poke around I can feel the top of it pretty substantially right under my belly button. Sometimes it's harder than others, almost like it's doing some sort of crunches on it's own. Creepy and cool, no?

Baby is still kicking up a storm, except Saturday night and into Sunday I had a minor panic attack because I couldn't remember the babe kicking too much since Friday. I began speaking in soothing tones to my abdomen, rubbing it, and then I even borrowed one cup of Nate's 'real' coffee on Sunday morning to light a fire under baby's butt. That didn't work, of course, but a few hours later the babe started moving around again with abandon, as if to say, 'Look lady, you are a total psycho and I'm fine in here. Just resting. Why don't you do the same while you can?' And that was my stint with a near-meltdown THIS week. Many more to come, I'm sure.

Speaking of meltdowns, guess what I did ALL FREAKING SATURDAY LONG? I painted the nursery! Alone! In a well-ventilated, freezing cold nursery room while blaring Miley Cyrus and Brittney Spears. Not sure many mature mommies-to-be crank Miley and Brit while painting nurseries but I guess I'm one big oxymoron.

I was too excited to sleep in on Saturday morning, so I was up and prepping the room by 8 am. Nate had to work and I was all over this project, literally counting down the hours until I could transform this sucker into my vision. I slapped on the first streak of paint at 9:15 and finished the second coat, finishing trim, and inside of the window box by.........3:30. Three-freaking-thirty in the afternoon. For a miniature nursery. Are you serious?

Anyway, Nate and I picked out the color on Friday night and I'm so glad he went with me to be my sanity. I could NOT decide between all of the shades of aqua and finally Nate just grabbed this swatch out of my hand (as 15 others fluttered to the ground) and announced Rushing Stream to be the color of our nursery.



(I paired it with the pink in the rug because all day I was feeling like baby is a girl, and I will totally pull this shade of pink in the room if so). We also used the "Cool Rain" darker shade inside of the window box.

So here we go...


My 'helper' ready to work hard, of course:


And the after...




The darker shade of the window box doesn't 'pop' as much as I had hoped but I honestly do not care at this point. I am SO done painting for a while.


Isn't it just glorious with the rug?


And the crib? All of a sudden it looks so fancy-shmancy with the aqua walls, no? It's almost like a Tiffany blue I guess but not quite. Rich for sure, just like my $40 crib.




And really, with the old vintage style of the whole room, I think the shade works well. I was SO worried about the natural wood with a bright color but really....I love it!


So let us remember the humble beginnings of the nursery (former guest room) by looking at awful panoramic shots. Before:


And the current 'during':


Totally psychedelic rug, man. And I'm not sure why the wall color looks so cold here but whatev. You get the idea. Do you likey? Are you envisioning the big picture with fun bold bedding, curtains, window seat cushion, and artwork? Sigh.

So hello to 19 weeks: minor panic attacks, near meltdowns involving painting for six hours, Rushing Stream aqua, and only ONE MORE WEEK until the big ultrasound! Whoo hoo!